Discrimination against women

[queen01 0]

Could somebody explain to me how can immigration officials discriminate so bluntly and openly when a woman is older than the man? I see all the time how older men are allowed to marry younger women and bring them to the USA with no problem, but when it comes to older women and younger men they either deny the application or just ignore the application until the time expires. When you apply for the first time they see your birth certificates yet they take your money, then when it goes to your fiance's country they ask you to pay all this fees for medical, visa, etc., when they already know they not going to issue a visa. Is this legally stealing? For 2 years you just get ignored and. They give your fiance 2 bogus interviews because all they ask is if you paid to get married or if they payed you. Not even look at your papers that proof your relationship. I know for a fact lots of couples that are the same age and they just get married to come to USA. Just like I see all this 83 year old men marrying 18 year old girls. Pls the only person they fooling is the smart agents of the immigration dept. Men 60 years older than their spouse, yeah I believe that, or 40+ years older. Anybody out there with the same problem? I would love to hear from you. Im from USA my fiance is from Egypt.

[Tim/Mav 305]

Could somebody explain to me how can immigration officials discriminate so bluntly and openly when a woman is older than the man? I see all the time how older men are allowed to marry younger women and bring them to the USA with no problem, but when it comes to older women and younger men they either deny the application or just ignore the application until the time expires. When you apply for the first time they see your birth certificates yet they take your money, then when it goes to your fiance's country they ask you to pay all this fees for medical, visa, etc., when they already know they not going to issue a visa. Is this legally stealing? For 2 years you just get ignored and. They give your fiance 2 bogus interviews because all they ask is if you paid to get married or if they payed you. Not even look at your papers that proof your relationship. I know for a fact lots of couples that are the same age and they just get married to come to USA. Just like I see all this 83 year old men marrying 18 year old girls. Pls the only person they fooling is the smart agents of the immigration dept. Men 60 years older than their spouse, yeah I believe that, or 40+ years older. Anybody out there with the same problem? I would love to hear from you. Im from USA my fiance is from Egypt.

I read the Post several times. I see your already Approved for the NOA2. I've seen this Topic many times but can tell your frustration. Yes, kinda Strange when the woman is older than the Petitioner how they look at it. I don't know the age difference but irrelivent to your question. Looking at VJ it sometimes is many have encountered this problem in the past. I DON'T KNOW EGYPT and how that Consulate thinks. But I do know there are Many Members from Egypt who might help you. I wrote because you posted this and No One will respond as of yet. So Members. Get the Ball Rolling.

The OP is asking for any advice.

[I+H 11]

I have thought of this myself. I do not believe anyone can judge who loves who. Yet some of the 'old guys' marrying super young chicks is a common sight and it does appear to be socially acceptable. A man can marry a younger chick and he so cool for doing so, but it seems that if a younger man marries an older woman there is something terribly wrong with that. I have to say I think it is something that is just frowned upon in society in general and I think it's wrong. I am only 5 years older than my fiance and when I tell people that I get called a cougar, a cradle robber....seriously? It just goes to show the view others have. Concerning government agencies though, they should exclude societies views from their decision making.

You did not point out if this has happened to you personally, but if it has, I truly apologize. No ones relationship should be under scrutiny based upon age difference. I wish you the best.

Edited May 1, 2011 by I+H

[VanessaTony 3,567]

It's a societal norm thing. The US couldn't care less, but in certain countries it's not the norm for young men to marry older women and that's where it's judged. There was a post about this a while back explaining that certain countries assume fraud if a young man is marrying an older woman who is past child bearing age.

If you interview in Aus for a fiancee/spousal visa there'd be no issue because Australia doesn't care about age differences. Young women marry older men, and vice versa. VAST age differences aren't the norm though... young women marrying vastly older men that is but it does happen.

It's not a US thing it's a "your home country" thing. Your countries rules/norms are used. For instance, in the Philippines if a women has a kid and she is unmarried even though the fathers name is on the child's birth certificate she has sole custody of the child automatically and USCIS require NO permission from the father to allow the child to immigrate to the US. If a women in Aus has a kid and the father is listed on the birth certificate she needs a court order and/or custody papers stating she has sole custody or the father is permitting immigration of the child.

It's unfortunate but a significant number of relationships from countries where the societal norm dictates older women are unusual (such as your SO's country) turn out to be fraud (the man duping the women who had no idea). It's heart-breaking to see the reports here when the shoe finally drops and the young guy leaves and the women is asking how she can fix her immigration woes, or expresses her shock because she thought they were in love and what not.

Edited May 1, 2011 by Vanessa&Tony

[I+H 11]

I really do think that people in the US do still raise more of an eyebrow out older woman dating younger men than older men dating younger women. It is unfortunate but in my experience true. Maybe the US government doesn't care, hence the NOA2. I never considering the child bearing aspect of other cultures though. How sad that just because you cannot produce a child your relationship wouldn't be taken seriously. If they were to discover a young woman could not have children would they deny a visa based on that? Odd....

I didn't take into consideration other societies general view on these issues, whether it be based on culture or religion.

Edited May 1, 2011 by I+H

[monalisa2010 1]

good luck

Edited May 1, 2011 by monalisa2010

[thelastpetitioner 218]

calling it discrimination against women is bull ######. im sorry but it is.they have nothing against a woman,or even an older woman.the truth is middle eastern men by nature think the younger the woman the better.its a cultural thing and has been going on forever here,so of course its going to raise red flags and questions when a young man goes against his " nature " and gets married / engaged to an older woman.

lets not forget to a CO,EVERYONE is committing fraud based on different grounds,age is one of them.if youre so sure of your relationship,frontload and go in with the mentality that you want the visa and you will get it.maybe try looking at it from unbiased point of view as hard as it is?

PS: im the middle eastern end of the deal so trust me,i know what im talking about

Edited May 1, 2011 by thelastpetitioner

[thelastpetitioner 218]

do you want the truth ?? , i will talke about arbs countries okay specially egypt depend on something im very sure of and away from being nervous okay its customs and rules even inside egypt itself as example ,its not acceptable here that man with 25 years marry awoman with 45 years ,long distance between its ages and dont try to confense me this is love okay cause i know what im talking about,it may be adifferent in age but not all this years when young men here as example do that they do that to get immgrant visa to usa than when they finished their papers they divorce them , that what uscis and embassy understand very well and that is why most of the young men married with old women go through AP ,if u wanna sure i will suggest u something else ,start new topic asking american old women if they deceived by name of love and finely got divorced after they finished thier papers work , just wish all old american women to be careful casue im woman 2 and i know how much we are woman need love ....etc but ended us with hurt ..good luck

almost every middle eastern man AND woman goes through AP.age difference is irrelevant

[I+H 11]

do you want the truth ?? , i will talke about arbs countries okay specially egypt depend on something im very sure of and away from being nervous okay its customs and rules even inside egypt itself as example ,its not acceptable here that man with 25 years marry awoman with 45 years ,long distance between its ages and dont try to confense me this is love okay cause i know what im talking about,it may be adifferent in age but not all this years when young men here as example do that they do that to get immgrant visa to usa than when they finished their papers they divorce them , that what uscis and embassy understand very well and that is why most of the young men married with old women go through AP ,if u wanna sure i will suggest u something else ,start new topic asking american old women if they deceived by name of love and finely got divorced after they finished thier papers work , just wish all old american women to be careful casue im woman 2 and i know how much we are woman need love ....etc but ended us with hurt ..good luck

I have heard all of this before. And I know unfortunatly that sometimes it is true. Such a horrible thing to do to another human being. It cannot be that every single man does these things, it just seems that many have. So that leaves those with genuine love and affection for one another at a loss. No one will take their relationship seriously.

[I+H 11]

Edited May 1, 2011 by I+H

[I+H 11]

Edited May 1, 2011 by I+H

[I+H 11]

calling it discrimination against women is bull ######. im sorry but it is.they have nothing against a woman,or even an older woman.the truth is middle eastern men by nature think the younger the woman the better.its a cultural thing and has been going on forever here,so of course its going to raise red flags and questions when a young man goes against his " nature " and gets married / engaged to an older woman.

lets not forget to a CO,EVERYONE is committing fraud based on different grounds,age is one of them.if youre so sure of your relationship,frontload and go in with the mentality that you want the visa and you will get it.maybe try looking at it from unbiased point of view as hard as it is?

PS: im the middle eastern end of the deal so trust me,i know what im talking about

I have to say the word discrimination fits into this topic for lack of a better word. Discrimination does seem a bit extreme, but is there a better word to describe it? An older woman automatically raises a red flag, what do you call that? Discrimination honestly doesn't fit for me either, but what else can you call it?

Edited May 1, 2011 by I+H

[thelastpetitioner 218]

I have to say the word discrimination fits into this topic for lack of a better word. Discrimination does seem a bit extreme, but is there a better word to describe it? An older woman automatically raises a red flag, what do you call that? Discrimination honestly doesn't fit for me either, but what else can you call it?

so youre saying ex convicts are getting discriminated as well because past convictions can raise redflags?hell even past marriages can raise red flags.or the amount of time a couple has spent together

people shouldnt take the red flags in their case personally. chances are if the most infamous COs had the chance to approve cases based on their own opinions majority of the denied cases would go through.

i know its easy for me to say since my case is simple but still,many older women and younger men get approved every day,how do they do it?

mind you this discrimination isnt just for older women,in asia older men with big age gaps are the subjects to it.

[I+H 11]

so youre saying ex convicts are getting discriminated as well because past convictions can raise redflags?hell even past marriages can raise red flags.or the amount of time a couple has spent together

That is why I am saying I do not think discrimination is the right word for it. Maybe a term cannot be given, it just is what it is, a red flag based on a suspicion. Period.

Edited May 1, 2011 by I+H

[Milushka 22]

people get denied because of patterns. The more people of a "same category" do it the wrong way, the more other people of a similiar position get screwtinized. Its not like immigration taking from the sky reasons to deny or do additional checks on a certain group.

It also depends how much older. Com'on if he is 20 + and the lady is in mid 40s, there is a questions, many questions. Some of those are : what brought those people of different life stages / interests together, does the guy wants to have children getting married with woman who physically wouldnt be able, and the last but not least c'mon middle eastern men are known for being macho, and not too modest in showing their interest in women. so whyyy among all those young pretty ones he chose more mature woman with the "lagguge (divorce/children etc.)... You see...

I see your question also why they do discriminate and let older folks have girls who might ve been their daughters. I dont know... But I am definitely disgust by observing such things. Probably because those girls actually stay w their husbands untill those eventually die and not run away like those young sneaky men marrying for GC.