About divorce and adjustment of status

[troubleinparadise 0]

Hi folks,

my story is pretty sad. I married my US-citizen wife in 2007 after dating her for 1 year. She moved to western Europe with me, and we lived together for 2 years.

While I would have loved to keep staying in Europe, she wanted to go back to the US to stay closer to her family. Hence we decided, after about 2 years of marriage, to move to the US. She did her master there (that I paid, damn me), and in the meantie I applied and got accepted to a prestigious MBA program in the US where I could build up my credentials and jump start my career in the US.

Getting the Green Card (CR-1) was easy, our marriage WAS bonafide. But in the meantime, troubles aroused. My MBA is in a tiny city with not many jobs around. That didn't make her happy. We started fighting. We left it on hold promising to solve the issue once in the US. She left for the States a couple of months before me because she had an internship in Pennsylvania. We handled that well, mostly because I went to bed late each night just to Skype her. We didn't feel the distance that much.

Once I came to the US, late July 2010, we went for a great holiday together in the Caribbeans. It was a lot of fun and we took a lot of pictures. After that, we came to the place where I am studying, she met some of my classmates, but she left right away to go back to Philadelphia. I started my program right away. I had leased an apartment with other students in my name, counting that my wife could come and visit me anytime.

Then, problems started. An MBA is pretty rigorous, and I started to be VERY busy. I had time to call her only for like 30-40 minutes each night. That REALLY upset her. I told her that it happened the same thing when SHE was studying. For some reason, that didn't apply to me. She was young, 23, and I admit at this point that we married too young (I was 27 last year). She started crying, and we started fighting more.

After two weeks, she finally had some time to come and see me. We spent a wonderful 3 days together, everything seemed cool again. We had fun, she met some of my new friends, took pictures. Then she left. She ended her internship and went to visit her grandma in MO while looking for a full-time job. I asked her to move to the city where I was staying. She declined, saying that she could not possibly find any job there. We started fighting again. It was late August. We had a big fight. In my anger, I emailed her that this marriage couldn't go on like this. We settled it. She came again mid-September and she met some other of my friends. It was fun. But when she left, we kept on fighting for the same issues (I was really busy!!! And she was really bored!) as before. We had a huge fight over Skype (at the time I didn't even have an AT&T plan yet, so busy I was!), then.. she disappeared for one week. She stopped returning my calls. After one week, she calls me and said she had been very busy and that she found a kind of consulting job that would make her travel a lot. She said that perhaps it was best if we didn't speak anymore. The only other contact I had with her was in October, via email. Even though I emailed her my intentions of getting a divorce (given her silence) and asked her to go counseling, she disappeared. I tried to call her grandmother, never replied. I emailed her parents, they said she was fine and not to contact them anymore.

So... here I am now. I filed for divorce (what else could have I done?!), and she hasn't been served yet. I am waiting. At this point, I have been in the US for 8-9 months, but haven't had any contact with her for the past several months. I feel betrayed and abandoned. And on top of that, now Idon't now what to do with my GC. I came to the US to make her happy, I committed a lot of money to my MBA, and I am screwed now.

In Europe, we lived together at my place. We had a joint bank account. I supported her while she was learning the language and trying to find a job. I supported her schooling. In the US, given how fast things went I didn't have time to open a joint bank account. We didn't have a common residence, given the situation described above. No joint bills. And, obviously, no joint taxes.

I have some pictures of us in the Caribbeans, some pics of us with people here, I can provide 2-3 affidavits of people who met her here and know our marriage was true when we both were in the US. But that's it. While I have plenty of evidence for the time BEFORE the US (like paying her a ticket to come to see me while I was working for 2 months in SE Asia), I do not have much for my time in the US given how fast thing fell apart. Distance sucks. It can kiil relationships.

I don't really know what to do now... Any help, would be appreciated. I apologize for my rant, I needed to throw it all out.

[Steph1988 11]

I am sorry to hear about your situation! Why yall would get married and want you to immigrate to the usa if yall werent even planning on living a fully functional life together blows my mind. Theres couples like me and my husband who have a baby together that are ready to get our CR1 out of the way so we can be a proper family together again. i guess everyone is diffrent! So if you are getting a divorce that means you have to return to your home country right?

[Helen Louise Pile 80]

I am sorry to hear about your situation! Why yall would get married and want you to immigrate to the usa if yall werent even planning on living a fully functional life together blows my mind. Theres couples like me and my husband who have a baby together that are ready to get our CR1 out of the way so we can be a proper family together again. i guess everyone is diffrent! So if you are getting a divorce that means you have to return to your home country right?

Everyone IS different. There are many visa journey stories that blow my mind...but we mustn't judge other people.

Sorry to read your story 'Trouble in paradise'. Your situation sounds like it was rough. I agree that it is important to be together, no matter what. Perhaps the distance and stress was too much for her but perhaps you can work it out by coming together and making a new plan for your future?

If you entered with honest intentions and the marriage failed I don't think you are required to leave. I believe you must prove that you entered in good faith. I hope a more experienced VJ member can answer this for you.

I wish you luck.

[troubleinparadise 0]

Everyone IS different. There are many visa journey stories that blow my mind...but we mustn't judge other people.

Sorry to read your story 'Trouble in paradise'. Your situation sounds like it was rough. I agree that it is important to be together, no matter what. Perhaps the distance and stress was too much for her but perhaps you can work it out by coming together and making a new plan for your future?

If you entered with honest intentions and the marriage failed I don't think you are required to leave. I believe you must prove that you entered in good faith. I hope a more experienced VJ member can answer this for you.

I wish you luck.

I tried, I suggested counseling, she never got back to me on that. And well, as we both are young we decided that some sacrifices for our career were worthwhile at this point. I had no idea that she would explode though

[Penguin_ie 5,994]

I am sorry for your troubles.

You will be able to file for ROC on your own, based on having a bonafide marriage, but do expect some very strong questioning. Your situation could be seen as you paying for her stuff in Europe, in return for a greencard (I am NOT saying this is what happened, but it could look like that to the USCIS).

[milimelo 4,481]

Well, hello Rob C - no reason to make up another identity on the forum: http://www.visajourney.com/forums/topic/292042-divorce-while-cr1/

I see in this topic you neglect to mention meeting a girl (at school?) while at your MBA program?

[troubleinparadise 0]

Any help/hint guys? I have 4-5 people willing to write affidavits stating they saw us together as a couple (a happy one!) in the US. Plus I have recently been to the counselor because I cannot restart a normal life after the divorce... What else can I gather?

[thelastpetitioner 218]

Any help/hint guys? I have 4-5 people willing to write affidavits stating they saw us together as a couple (a happy one!) in the US. Plus I have recently been to the counselor because I cannot restart a normal life after the divorce... What else can I gather?

what really would boost your case is an affidavit from her stating that you entered on good faith.

but apart from that advice,her age and how busy you were are not good enough excuses.if a guy wants to make a relationship,he will.i think if you give it another try and really,fully,whole heartedly try,you can make it work.dont rush into divorce

[troubleinparadise 0]

what really would boost your case is an affidavit from her stating that you entered on good faith.

but apart from that advice,her age and how busy you were are not good enough excuses.if a guy wants to make a relationship,he will.i think if you give it another try and really,fully,whole heartedly try,you can make it work.dont rush into divorce

Well, all true aside that:

1. She is the one who didn't want to relocate to my city;

2. She is the one who changed her number and stopped answering my calls

3. She is the one who started the fights when I started to be busy

3. I am the one who stood distance when she wanted to go study to another city when we were living in Europe...

And I waited 6 months before filing for divorce. And you know what? She is not cooperating and still refuse to answer my calls!

Do you still think that I am the one who didn't want the marriage to work?

Edited May 2, 2011 by troubleinparadise

[troubleinparadise 0]

Well, all true aside that:

1. She is the one who didn't want to relocate to my city;

2. She is the one who changed her number and stopped answering my calls

3. She is the one who started the fights when I started to be busy

3. I am the one who stood distance when she wanted to go study to another city when we were living in Europe...

If 2+ years of marriage and 3+ years or relationship aren't enough, I don't know what else to do...

And I waited 6 months before filing for divorce. And you know what? She is not cooperating and still refuse to answer my calls!

Do you still think that I am the one who didn't want the marriage to work?

[leahandlucas 15]

Well, hello Rob C - no reason to make up another identity on the forum: http://www.visajourney.com/forums/topic/292042-divorce-while-cr1/

I see in this topic you neglect to mention meeting a girl (at school?) while at your MBA program?

Nice work....