Money Problems

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

Not making any judegments. You are over 18 and can choose what you want to do and live with the result. The good thing about being young is you little place to go but UP. If you are willing to eat PBJ sandwiches for a while, then go for it and in a couple years you will both have jobs and be doing better. That said, there is not a lot to recommend what you are considering and we do not accept it for our children, but what you do is your business.

Just know that barely making the minimum required is not a very good life, and that financial problems are one of the leading reasons for divorce. The amount specified by the government is in NO WAY "enough" to support two people. It is enough that they can deny you means tested benefits and/or confiscate money from your pay to pay back any benefits your foriegn spouse may receive. It is designed to protect the government, not you. Add to that the difficulties of an immigrant spouse and their needs...and things get difficult real fast.

Just know what you are doing before go for it...then hang on for a rough ride. Good luck.

Edited April 24, 2011 by Gary and Alla

[amesa 9]

If it is true love, then it will wait. Finish school first, then at least one of you will have something to offer the other. Being married and always worrying about your financial situation doesn't allow you'll to enjoy the blessing of a marriage. Just my 2cents.

I totally agree with this comment. In order to prepare for your future, finish your education first. I see the results of this with my siblings...I am the only one who graduated from college and they are having a very tough time.

You will be able to help out financially in your marriage if you are prepared. It will lead to less stress, a greater chance of getting a good job in the future.

[i&j 2]

me and my love are young (in our 20s) but not as young as you...i have a degree and also still a student (for another degree) and with a well paid part time job and it is still a stressful situation...if you really love each other and are prepared for getting married, i would advice you finish school first, seems like your almost done with it...or marry in his country and try to get a co-sponcerer and finish school while you wait for him to get here...that way he would come in as a legal resident and he could work right away and continue his school without international fees...its better to be less stressed about stuff so you can have more freedom to enjoy your life together.

[i&j 2]

...and your really young it wont hurt to wait, it will just test if u and him are really ready to marry, plus enjoy being a student and young without the stress of marriage while you can!

[Nicoco 26]

@m+p: Thank you, that makes me feel a little better

I know I might be naive, but I have a vision. I want to take my business further and have real life experience. For now, some jobs will secure you money. But my major is HLA (Humanities, language, arts) and I wanted to be in magazine journalism. That industry is dying and moving to online. And I don't want to work for money. I'll stand a few years of being broke for building something that can turn into freedom. I know so many people who graduated and are still in low-paying jobs that they hate. Or people who have nice-paying jobs, but no time. There are also many people who I know who were laid off in the recent years and have not recovered. Of course, we can wait. But I literally have nothing to lose at this point. I want to have a goal, something that I will work for, that he will be here by next year. I can't go see him again. If I do that, it will put us back even further. I know I have to be realistic, but I want to push myself to be unrealistic, or I'll be stuck unhappy forever.

Me and him, aside from some help from my parents by housing me, are pretty much alone in this.

My two regular jobs are pretty good pay, so I think that if I step it up, I should be ok.

[HannahP 119]

This could have been me five years ago. We were young - 20/21 - I delayed school to make money, we squeaked by at exactly the poverty level for about a year after he came over on a K1. (Before, we'd lived and gone to school together when he was here on a student visa and made it on about $10k a year with rent, gas, etc. -- for two years, even.) Our marriage is still strong, we own a home, I'm finishing up nursing school, and he's got a good job as an aerospace engineer. The advantage to being young and poor is that you don't come into the relationship with a lot of financial expectations; it's generally very stressful to downgrade your economic status, but you're only starting out in life so that's a plus.

However, a lot of people who put off graduating end up never graduating. And in some cases, a degree may not be all that entirely useful in getting you a better job, especially in this economy. But this could also trap you in a cycle of minimum wage jobs where school is never an option again because you need to work to eat. However, I delayed school for over a year before going back. Obviously, it can be done.

Anyway, it's not all doom and gloom like the [older] posters on here make it out to be.

[i&j 2]

@m+p: Thank you, that makes me feel a little better

I know I might be naive, but I have a vision. I want to take my business further and have real life experience. For now, some jobs will secure you money. But my major is HLA (Humanities, language, arts) and I wanted to be in magazine journalism. That industry is dying and moving to online. And I don't want to work for money. I'll stand a few years of being broke for building something that can turn into freedom. I know so many people who graduated and are still in low-paying jobs that they hate. Or people who have nice-paying jobs, but no time. There are also many people who I know who were laid off in the recent years and have not recovered. Of course, we can wait. But I literally have nothing to lose at this point. I want to have a goal, something that I will work for, that he will be here by next year. I can't go see him again. If I do that, it will put us back even further. I know I have to be realistic, but I want to push myself to be unrealistic, or I'll be stuck unhappy forever.

Me and him, aside from some help from my parents by housing me, are pretty much alone in this.

My two regular jobs are pretty good pay, so I think that if I step it up, I should be ok.

you don't sound unrealistic, just in a difficult situation, and it seems like ur getting alot of good advice so goood luck to you and blessings in whatever you deceide

[Aztec&Taino 144]

I think that posters have tried to be honest and not necessarily paint everything as "doom and gloom," yet be warned that not everything will be wonderful love and happiness. The most important thing to remember is to constantly ask yourself, "what do I want?" and make sure you are actively working on achieving your desires. Make your life and desires a priority, always. Once you get married and if you have children, then things and priorities necessarily change. Yet, if you are willing to work at what you want to achieve it is possible to build the life you want. Just keep focused!

[Nicoco 26]

Thanks everyone! I appreciate all of the advice.

I have one more question. By what percent do I have to be over the poverty line?