What do you do?

[Fandango 1,439]

Two things...

Just cos I knew what a BOB was does not mean I was sharing whether or not I have one. That's my business and no one else's

Two - I don't even understand the point of this thread. I read the OP as beating around the bush a bit (no pun intended)...and I don't think this was a thread started to discuss what tricks we all do to pass the time. I think it was hinting around Mandi being unhappy with something specific in the relationship...hey, I could be wrong...no biggie.

But to come back and be all evasive just seems odd...oh well, another 10 mins of my life gone for nowt! hahahah

[meauxna 15]

I read the OP as beating around the bush a bit (no pun intended)...and I don't think this was a thread started to discuss what tricks we all do to pass the time.

You're sharp first thing in the AM!

[Elizabethnhenry 0]

just call DEPARTMENT OF STATE - wait 15 mins on hold

normally kills the desire..

[Mandi+Ryan 1]

There isn't a problem in the relationship actually, and the things you all have mentioned seem to cause more problems.

comments made in response to a sexual question YOU posted have caused more problems??

There isn't a problem in the relationship actually, and the things you all have mentioned seem to cause more problems.

comments made in response to a sexual question YOU posted have caused more problems??

I don't think she's saying the comments themselves cause problems. I think she's saying that the techniques people are suggesting (masturbation, cam2cam, flogging, etc.) cause more problems.

*whistling and waiting for Mandi to come back*

Well, I don't have nor do I want a B.O.B. I want my fiancé. There isn't a problem in the relationship actually, and the things you all have mentioned seem to cause more problems. And someone else mentioned the same thing. So, I think we have figured out what to do. Which is what I have been telling my fiancé all along.

hmmm...cryptic.

Why ask the question to which you already know the answer??

Ok fellow VJer's, help me out here. What do you do when you're craving the physical aspects of your relationship that you cannot have right now?

Why am I posting here?

Oh well, here goes.

You ask what other VJers do when...

There's no need to comment back on the appropriateness or not of those things, for you and fiance. All you have to do is say 'thank you for sharing' and do whatever you do with the information.

If you want to actually discuss it, you have to clarify what your question really is, and be prepared for advice that you don't care to follow.

I actually think that the way you started this out is fine; just don't get sucked into saying more than you want/should.

Well said meauxna

*waiting anxiously for Mandi's explanation*

Well said meauxna

*waiting anxiously for Mandi's explanation*

Don't think we're gonna get one..........

Two things...

Just cos I knew what a BOB was does not mean I was sharing whether or not I have one. That's my business and no one else's

Two - I don't even understand the point of this thread. I read the OP as beating around the bush a bit (no pun intended)...and I don't think this was a thread started to discuss what tricks we all do to pass the time. I think it was hinting around Mandi being unhappy with something specific in the relationship...hey, I could be wrong...no biggie.

But to come back and be all evasive just seems odd...oh well, another 10 mins of my life gone for nowt! hahahah

Ok, let me just say, I came to you all for advice on things my fiancé and I could do to comfort each other, get back some kinda physical aspect in our relationship. Someone told me that they tried the things YOU ALL mentioned...masturbation, camming, phone, whatever. And later, it caused problems for them. Same with Ryan and I. We ended up fighting all the time. They told me it's ok to talk about it and still keep the flame burning, and whatnot. Yeah, that's fine. I just needed some opinions here.

No, what you all said did NOT cause problems for us. And, yes, I am here. I have been busy, working. I didn't forget about you all.

I wasn't giving too much info, I was just telling you like it is.

There are problems here and there in our relationship, but I wanted to know if there was ANOTHER way to add some spark back into our relationship without actually being together.

I posted for all opinions, good or bad. If I didn't want them and didn't expect to get some that I may/may not like, I wouldn't have posted.

Sorry, the quotes are messed up, but I wanted to make sure I didn't leave anyone out!

[Alex+R 0]

Ok, well, if all the versions of long-distance sex-substitutes suggested made you guys fight, what else do you think there is? How do you do something sexual without the sexual part?

Why do you think some sort of new LDR sex tool thing would change that? Methinks you have a problem beyond whatever it is you're letting on. Sorry, but you're still being vague.

[CarolineM 0]

How do you fight over those things?? Camming and phone sex causes fights? Maybe you should explain why....like Alex I think that is a small part of a bigger problem - but we can't help without specifics...

which by the way, you are in NO WAY obligated to give us. i'd say most ppl WANT to help...just don't know how

[Tim and Bethanie 1]

If doing these things causes problems between you (unsure why they would but that is for a different day), then be free enough with one another and do what you have to do alone. I will say for myself the things people have mentioned here became more heart breaking than anything because I did not have him here with me. We discussed this and made the choice together that if one felt the urge they took care of it and didn't bother mentioning it to the other. Early in our relationship this might have caused more problems, but we accepted what we were going through and did what we needed to do. If you have trust in your relationship and one or the other isn't comfortable sharing over an internet connection or phone line then no harm is done closing your bedroom door and taking care of business! I was much more comfortable knowing my husband was doing a bit of extra soaping up in the shower, rather than thinking he might be getting his pleasures elsewhere.

Glad those days are over, now I need to go wake him! For coffee of course!

Bethanie

[Caladan 19]

My fiancé and I aren't much into phone sex. He would be, but I find it sort of dull compared to the real thing and have a hard time not giggling because it's so cliché. Read too many cybersex parodies or something. So we just take care of things on our own time. I trust him not to cheat.

I find it hard to believe that your friends 'problems later on' were caused by phone sex; maybe there were other problems like comfort, or someone not being into it and feeling forced, but that's a separate issue that phone sex is a convenient target for. But regardless, if you're not into it, you're not into it... there's just not much out there in the way of substitutes.