I wish I would have known...

[Inky 1,110]

Nice, seems like you're ok after all... I guess in this economy, if I find something somewhat decent I should just keep it, right? Better than none...

Thats what i'm doing now. Its decent but I was getting paid more in Canada for a retail job than for this " career " job. Its hard to see i'm making less but like you said, its paying bills and making our relationship better.

Not to mention the fact with the new looming Gov shut down BS.. my husband may lose his pay (military get their pay cut if the gov shuts down) so we would REALLY need my job money then..

I'm doing ok now but it was a really rough road the first year getting through everything.. at one point the marriage did almost end up separated.. we were talking about doing counseling when his parents suggested a marriage help CD. Which in the end really did help us(was cheaper than counseling too lol)

I can say, just hold on tight and do not let go. Work through everything make sure to keep communication going. I thought marriage honestly was going to be easy, My mom had told me the first few years of marriage are hard and said she expected them to be even harder for us because of moving across the country and being an immigrant etc. Its no joke it was really hard.

[Udella&Wiz 325]

Someone once told me "it takes 2 years for a place to feel like home". I said, yeah sure. Then I move and honestly, at about the 2 year mark I started saying "hmm...I don't feel homesick as often...I can actually say, I don't MIND it here!" My parents had the same thing moving 1.5 hours from where I was born and raised. Took 2 years before they felt settled. Sucks, 2 years is a long time.

Good luck, keep us posted!

Pfft...2yr? I'm working on 4 yrs and some days still totally suck! More days are good then bad though. It's a progressionlike you said - you start liking it more and more.

The biggest mistake we all made (and innocently)is that we think it will be easy or the same as back home and it's just not.

[J & J 3]

Hi Vero, I know exactly how you’re feeling. I have those good and bad days too, but when I’m in one of those moods I try to think about the positive side of things. I try and get out and do things to get my mind in a better place. I like to feel productive and I know it’s hard to feel productive when we can’t do or find what we want, but we can always do the things that we enjoy doing to keep ourselves busy. I’m in the middle of no where, not really any jobs in the market here. We do live in our own house, not a great house, we are renting, but it is our own place to call home. Thankfully my husband is very supportive of my feelings and is very understanding. I do let him know when I’m feeling down and out, but try not to sound like a broken record about how different the life style is. I know he’s doing his best to do what he can to have me here and make me feel comfortable at the same time. Right now my goal is driving. I only have my Canadian beginners and I’m terrified of driving, but down here you totally NEED to drive. So I’m working on driving and I’m pretty proud of myself so far of how well I’m doing. Next step is a retailed Job of some sort then once we have enough money hopefully a move closer to the city. I guess it’s all about steps, one step at a time. Know that saying??? Good things happen to those who wait… and good things have happened to all of us already If you ever need someone to talk to.. You're more then welcomed to talk my ear off! Hope today is better!!

[Veronik 19]

Gosh, I wish I could have posted this a month ago!!! I thought everyone on here was having a grand time! I though man, I can't say that I'm having such a hard time after having whined for close to a year about having to wait to get here!!! Funny how things work...

Thanks J&J, Udella&Wiz and Inky, again everyone's support and sharing of their experience is making me feel so much better!

[Jill & Jeff 3]

The biggest mistake we all made (and innocently)is that we think it will be easy or the same as back home and it's just not.

This is my husband's problem. So many times he completely discounts what I say because it wasn't like that in Canada. It gets frustrating because he doesn't listen to me when I keep telling him that things are different here.

When he first got down here, his work hadn't found a suitable replacement so he was able to work from home for about a month and a half. That made a huge difference as far as money, two incomes with no rent payments really helped out. We still stay with my parents for now, but having the room over the garage gives us a little more privacy than normal but it still sucks. My parents are pretty awesome, especially my dad, but my mom likes to hover and I can't stand it.

On the job front, he kept telling me he could get a job within a week in Canada and he doesn't think that it'll be different down here (haha). He's been looking for about two months now and still hasn't found a job. He works inside sales which is a little more open than most fields. He really only started ramping up his job applications this week (we thought he might be able to get a job where I work, but it's not panning out so far). He's had a couple of interviews with recruiters and some phone interviews, but nothing solid yet. I know he's going nuts just being in the house all day playing video games. Fortunately my income can support our combined bills, but it'll be nice when he finally gets a job and we can actually pay off some bills and get the heck out of the parents house.

I'd definitely recommend the volunteering. Even something simple like an animal shelter or something. It'll get you out of the house and it will also help with being social and meeting people and just being able to interact and not sit at home.

J-

[Veronik 19]

This is my husband's problem. So many times he completely discounts what I say because it wasn't like that in Canada. It gets frustrating because he doesn't listen to me when I keep telling him that things are different here.

When he first got down here, his work hadn't found a suitable replacement so he was able to work from home for about a month and a half. That made a huge difference as far as money, two incomes with no rent payments really helped out. We still stay with my parents for now, but having the room over the garage gives us a little more privacy than normal but it still sucks. My parents are pretty awesome, especially my dad, but my mom likes to hover and I can't stand it.

On the job front, he kept telling me he could get a job within a week in Canada and he doesn't think that it'll be different down here (haha). He's been looking for about two months now and still hasn't found a job. He works inside sales which is a little more open than most fields. He really only started ramping up his job applications this week (we thought he might be able to get a job where I work, but it's not panning out so far). He's had a couple of interviews with recruiters and some phone interviews, but nothing solid yet. I know he's going nuts just being in the house all day playing video games. Fortunately my income can support our combined bills, but it'll be nice when he finally gets a job and we can actually pay off some bills and get the heck out of the parents house.

I'd definitely recommend the volunteering. Even something simple like an animal shelter or something. It'll get you out of the house and it will also help with being social and meeting people and just being able to interact and not sit at home.

J-

Yep, I totally had the same thought, I was like I'll find a job in no time, hahaha. That must have been nice to be able to work!!!

See, I was a substitute teacher up there. Made awesome money working a maximum of 25 hours a week. When I left, I looked into this EI thing, but I don't think I would have had enough hours...

Animal shelters, that's a really good idea! I did look into the Craig's List volunteer section for our city, and there wasn't much on there... Something's gonna pop up one of these days! (notice the slightly more positive tone here compared to yesterday! haha)

[Udella&Wiz 325]

I should mention that my hubster is the most supportive husband I could ever ask for. He has patiently held me as I've wept as if my daughter died for an hour about how sad I was. He has listened to my Anti-American rants about high fructose corn syrup, rascism, politics, soccer-mommies, recycling and big gas-guzzling SUV's and not blinked an eye.

He knows I'm lonely and god bless him, he has tried ever thing to keep me involved and getting out - in the beginning he would come home from work and we'd go out for a good walk or shopping for something (even TP) if it meant me getting out of the house daily. Now he knows that I feel sad around holidays and my family's special events that I can't be back in Canada for. I've stopped calling Canada 'home' because it's not my home anymore. It was a good decision for me to start embracing VA as home.

[Veronik 19]

Wow, lucky you! Chris is supportive too, but I think he gets affected a little by my anti-american thoughts sometimes... I understand though, I used to get upset when people would bash Quebec. At least he agrees with a lot of my point of view, and I think visiting me in Quebec for 7 months has opened his eyes to how people live elsewhere...

I hope one day I'll call VA home, but I'm not there yet! One step at a time!

[Gypsyangel 11]

I wrote down all the places I've applied for a job so far, the numbers are quite depressing:

- Company Applications Filled: 19

- Newspaper adds replied to: 15

- Craig's List adds replied to: 25

First of all, I can completely understand where you're coming from. It's hard. A lot harder probably than we all thought. But transitions tend to be bumpy, so give yourself a break. I liked the suggestion of trying to find maybe a more unconventional job like a flower shop or something in your community.

Instead of applying for jobs you might want to try figuring out something you really love and then finding companies that match you (be they big or small). I found this book helpful... 48 days to the work you love. He basically says that companies are so inundated with resumes that just responding to ads isn't likely to get too much of a response. Don't take it personally! He gets you to do a little soul searching and then gives practical tips on how to get out there.

http://www.amazon.co...02813724&sr=8-1

I also found Finding Your North Star by Martha Beck helpful. That's more about discovering your purpose than a job, but it might help point you in the right direction.

And keep your dog! It's good to have another Canadian around, even if it's your dog!

Hang in there!

[Veronik 19]

First of all, I can completely understand where you're coming from. It's hard. A lot harder probably than we all thought. But transitions tend to be bumpy, so give yourself a break. I liked the suggestion of trying to find maybe a more unconventional job like a flower shop or something in your community.

Instead of applying for jobs you might want to try figuring out something you really love and then finding companies that match you (be they big or small). I found this book helpful... 48 days to the work you love. He basically says that companies are so inundated with resumes that just responding to ads isn't likely to get too much of a response. Don't take it personally! He gets you to do a little soul searching and then gives practical tips on how to get out there.

http://www.amazon.co...02813724&sr=8-1

I also found Finding Your North Star by Martha Beck helpful. That's more about discovering your purpose than a job, but it might help point you in the right direction.

And keep your dog! It's good to have another Canadian around, even if it's your dog!

Hang in there!

Thanks for the tips! I'll definitely check that book at the library!!!

[Colleens 40]

2 days ago was my 1 year mark of my POE (I had been in the US as a visitor for 4 months before my POE), and I have a few 'friends' that I have gone out for lunch or a walk with once or twice and that is about it. I used this site meetup to find some local groups that have some similar interests (there is one for transplants to the city). We met up with another couple the other night for dinner and had a really good time. It was extra hard for us since we were both new to this city and neither of us knew anyone (other than Simon's mom and sister). I was in a similar situation as Kimbear and didn't get my EAD until the end of October, and by that point I was 7.5 months pregnant...so there was no way I was going to get hired anywhere!! I am fortunate that I get some maternity benefits, but since I was laid off from my last canadian job and recieved a severance package, I only qualify for 6months rather than a year....so I will be looking for my first job soon!

We had a lot of bills as well when I first moved here, so it really has been a struggle. Especially with Simon leaving the military and going to a lower paying job. Add in a baby and it was tough. I have cashed in about 60% of my life savings to pay bills and keep us afloat. Now to top it all off, while I was in Canada, Si made a really bad choice and tried stealing somethings from work (I still can't fathom why) and ended up being arrested and losing his job. I was devestated that he would put us at risk for something material that we really didn't need. We have worked through it and moved on, and luckily for him he was able to pay restitution and in a year the charges will be expunged from his record.

Thankfully we have just moved to a place with lower rent, some of the bills included, and we were able to hook our washer and dryer up so we no longer have to pay for laundry! I would love to have some family nearby that we could have moved in with until we get back on our feet, but we don't have that option. I know it would be hard living with them (just having my parents visit for 3 weeks over Christmas drove us nuts) but it is a better option than having to be stressed out about how you are going to pay bills and put food on the table.

Try to keep your head up..I know it is difficult. I have my days where I feel really down, but then I think about all the time we spent apart and how difficult that was, and at least now we have each other to lean on in difficult times.

Things will get better! Brighter days are ahead.

[Veronik 19]

Wow Colleens, you've been through your share! It's refreshing to see how positive you are though, and I wish your family the best! Thank you for your words of support

[BH45 0]

You are definitely not alone. June 29 will begin my 4th year of living here in the burbs of Chicago. When I moved, I left my daughter behind - not because I wanted to - because of legalites with my custody order. I moved into my hubby's apartment with his 2 sons - who at the time were 17 and 25. Salem, my daughter's cat, was and is my comfort. For 20 months, I basically lived in a 10 x 12 room. His one son lived in our living room so I had no other place to go. I spent most of that 1st week crying and wondering what I had done. In the last year, we have moved into a new apartment without his sons.

I went to church and found friendly people there. My hubby had told them our story and they were very kind. During the week was tough, but come Sunday I knew I had something to look forward too. The folks there got me involved with helping one of the elderly ladies with her moving sale. I got to know some of the women even more and have formed some wonderful friendships with them. I am so involved with the church now, I don't know how I worked and did all the things I help with at the church. If it hadn't been for my church family here, I'm pretty sure I would have slipped into another depression.

After getting the ok to work here, I registered with Robert Half International Accounting agency. Last March, I received a call asking if I would be interested in working for a short time. I thought it would be great to get my feet wet and truthfully, I was ready to work again. It was only to be a 3 month job that wound up lasting for 11 months. So maybe that is something that you could do - register with an agency. See where it takes you.

This will never be "home" persay, but it is home. My heart will always belong to Canada. I miss Canada, my daughter and family but am working daily at my life here. I'm happy and content in the knowledge that one day I will move home to Canada with my husband.

Things will get better.

[bradcanuck 1]

I left America for a lot of those reasons. Ignorance, intolerance etc etc I could go on and on but everyone knows what life is like in the states. I like Canada just fine.

[Veronik 19]

I left America for a lot of those reasons. Ignorance, intolerance etc etc I could go on and on but everyone knows what life is like in the states. I like Canada just fine.

Good for you! I wish I could persuade Chris to move up there too!

Thanks BH45, that's another good idea- the agency thing...