Useless NOA2

[Richie Rich 70]

Thank you all for your respect and encouragement and not assuming you know everything, unlike certain people at RWD.

I still have a hard time believing that it is acceptable to make a life changing decision that you know is going to be a life changer for another person that he will build his life and world around, and then tell that other person, 9 months after making that decision and after 2 1/2 years of proclaiming your love for that person on a daily basis, "Ha ha, only kidding".. That is moral bankruptcy at the most extreme level.

Al --I see that u still have yr ''hilarious ''signatures . How about posting the ''Star Wars . the Monkeys at work'' , and telling the story of the submarine screen door again --just being funny buddy and to take yr mind off the situation

[Richie Rich 70]

I truly don't know why I keep going back to Russian Women Discussion. It would be a good board except that it is crawling with creeps who are there only to put people down, distort facts, and insult people who make honest mistakes as much as possible. Here, contemptuous creeps like that are not tolerated, as Katheryne and the rest of the very professional moderating team have zero tolerance for the insults, personal attacks, and general contempt that permeate RWD.

Mind you, this is not everyone at RWD. There are some good people there, but there are also some very sick and sadistic pieces of worthless garbage there too, and the latter seem to do most of the posting.

Of course I am not perfect, and I made one large mistake a year and a half ago. I screwed up badly getting to the airport to meet Elena. It was during rush hour, and I was over an hour late. During the time, I was in constant contact with her and gave her status reports every ten minutes or so. The creeps at RWD will tell you I just kept her hanging the entire time, but they are boldfaced liars. It is simply not true.

I know it was my mistake with nobody else to blame. Unlike the pompous buffoons at RWD, I do not pretend to be perfect, nor do I attempt to hide my mistakes nor blame them on anybody else, nor do I blow smoke to obscure my mistakes. The lowlifes at RWD, on the other hand, do this all the time to fool themselves (and apparently each other) into believing that they are perfect.when in reality they are nothing but perfect morons.

But this was ONE mistake a year and a half ago. Despite that, every time I post on RWD about ANYTHING, the creeps chime in for pages and pages without end about how I am totally worthless because I had the audacity to make ONE single mistake. Every positive thing that happened since then is ignored by them as if it never happened. They are so small that they have nothing to write about or post about except for ONE single mistake by me a year and half ago. They even went as far as to dig up that year and a half old thread to take things I posted out of context and distort and twist them around to bolster their boldfaced lies.

So there you have it. I am not the bad person. THEY are the bad people.

A long time ago, I was taught the value of responsibility. You simply do not make a life changing decision that another person depends on to change his or her life and then nine months later say "Ha ha, I was only kidding." Only the most morally bankrupt person would do something that reprehensible. But then, since the creeps at RWD operate at the same lowlife gutter level, I suppose they see what Elena did to me as just fine.

Now that I think about it, I hope that Elena hooks up with one of those creeps and that they make each other's lives the worst living hell they can possibly imagine. They both richly deserve it.

Al --u seem to have some bad experiences with Russian women . How about finding love elsewhere ( Ukraine , Philippines , Columbia , Brazil, etc and maybe even in the Big Apple --I am not sterotyping ) .

[TBoneTX 45,031]

anyone in a relationship has the right to back out at anytime.. If you don't understand that, you should not be involved with anyone much less doing a Visa Petition...

Si, man.

That's one of the risks of life... She must have seen something about you that she simply couldn't live with... Your opinion about being locked in once the K1 app is started is the reason I am suspicious and likely one of the things that scared her...

I was more struck by the volatility of the gasket-blowing, in VJ threads and in the RWD thread below...

http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/Forum/index.php?topic=10114.0

This thread ended in July 2010; was there more elsewhere?

[TBoneTX 45,031]

crawling with creeps

contemptuous creeps

very sick and sadistic pieces of worthless garbage

boldfaced liars

lowlifes

perfect morons.

creeps

so small

boldfaced lies

lowlife gutter level

These are Al's opinions (just in one message) of the members of a discussion group.

I hope that Elena hooks up with one of those creeps and that they make each other's lives the worst living hell they can possibly imagine. They both richly deserve it.

This is what he says about a woman to whom he regularly professed his love?

[KiwiBird 132]

I'm sorry, but I refuse to believe that in 2 1/2 years that a person can only make ONE mistake in a relationship. I think both sides make mistakes all the time, whether they know about it or not. I'm sorry, but saying that there was 'only one mistake in the entire relationship' doesn't sound at all accurate to me. It kind of sounds like blame shifting to me. Now I'm not saying it's 'all Al's fault', but I am not saying it's all Elena's fault either. I'm sure both parties had a part to play, as this is how it goes with every relationship.

Also, professing love for someone, and then bashing that person to the ground... I don't understand that. I don't understand how anyone who truly LOVES another can do a complete 180 on them in that amount of time.

I don't wish ill on anyone here though, and that include Al. I do hope he finds the person he's looking for and finds ways to improve his life and himself along the way. (Everyone can use improvement!!)

[graceroxas 17]

To the last two posters, who are we to question the validity of this man's feelings? And there's also something to anger being an emotional analgesic for some. Granted it may be misplaced but ,sheesh, whatever gets you through such an awful patch.

Grace

[missicy 87]

2009:

Elena is anything but a money grubbing digger. She turned down a marriage proposal from a wealthy man in England who would have bought her anything she wanted. She did not love him and refused to marry just for the money.

(qouted Al's post from russiandiscussionwomen.com)

2011:

Unfortunately, USCIS will only now have one failed K-1 against her, as her first victim was from England, so she may very well conjure up some lies about me to her next victim to cover herself.

and

This is the SECOND TIME she did this, having put a man from England through the same abuse before

(also Al's post on russiandiscussionwomen.com)

It's funny how story changes, isn't it?

She PROMISED, explicitly, that once she accepted my marriage proposal, she would never ever change her mind under any circumstances.

once a man and a woman make this commitment to each other, the time to change their minds is over, done, finito.

(both Al's posts on russiandiscussionwomen.com):

You don't stay together because you "promised", you stay together because you want to be together.

Creepy.

[Al422 221]

What would any of you do if your fiance suddenly and without warning refused all communication with you for 31 days? Would you sit back and say "No problem"? Somehow I suspect not.

Would you do nice things to try to re-establish communication? Would you send her flowers and chocolates and a stuffed teddy bear? Would you send her nice e-cards and love songs and sweet letters? I am sure you would have.

And how would you feel after 31 days of doing all these nice things to get her to talk to you and 2 days after the NOA2 that you waited 6 1/2 months for, she suddenly did talk to you, with that talk consisting of "Ha ha, only kidding. So long sucker!". Would you be just a little pissed off? Would the love and respect you had for her for the past 2 1/2 years still be intact? Or would the things she said to you over the last 2 1/2 years suddenly lose their credibility?

This was not just a simple breakup. It was a full frontal assault from someone who claimed to love me and then turned on me virtually overnight. How would you feel if it were to happen to you?

Think about it before you play SIgmund Freud or take little phrases out of context to try to suggest that I am some sort of psychopath.

[Blob18 111]

What would any of you do if your fiance suddenly and without warning refused all communication with you for 31 days? Would you sit back and say "No problem"? Somehow I suspect not.

Would you do nice things to try to re-establish communication? Would you send her flowers and chocolates and a stuffed teddy bear? Would you send her nice e-cards and love songs and sweet letters? I am sure you would have.

And how would you feel after 31 days of doing all these nice things to get her to talk to you and 2 days after the NOA2 that you waited 6 1/2 months for, she suddenly did talk to you, with that talk consisting of "Ha ha, only kidding. So long sucker!". Would you be just a little pissed off? Would the love and respect you had for her for the past 2 1/2 years still be intact? Or would the things she said to you over the last 2 1/2 years suddenly lose their credibility?

This was not just a simple breakup. It was a full frontal assault from someone who claimed to love me and then turned on me virtually overnight. How would you feel if it were to happen to you?

Think about it before you play SIgmund Freud or take little phrases out of context to try to suggest that I am some sort of psychopath.

Bolded the key words that people here and on that POS Russian site need to pay attention to before they post. Don't let the speculators get you down Al, I am sure if it happened to them, they'd be just as pissed.

Edited April 15, 2011 by Blob18

[Moomin 292]

At first I would've advised you to hang on to the NOA2. It is a huge change and maybe some are first beginning to sense the reality of it with NOA2 in their hands. I'm sure some freak out and come to their senses after a while(there's a recent thread on this board about it). All of those things you've shared since the last meeting are grains of sand compared to the ones you had being together. If that left her doubting just a little bit, they have probably resurfaced. I'm not saying it's okay, good or bad; just that being nervous sometimes takes the best of us.

I will add that you in a thread said you could'nt afford to see her, and in an other thread saying you paid an expensive Russian-american..err, something. You have a commitment to your job, I know, and to your family. But you managed to break away from it once for two years. Even though it's honourable to help your father out he hasn't been helping you out, regardless of him liking the idea or not, it's about supporting you and your goals.

I hope things work out one way or the other.

[Penny Lane 8,159]

While I'm sorry for what you're going through Al, I personally don't believe it's right or a good idea to air out all the dirty laundry of a relationship to strangers on the internet once it's over. It's not going to make you feel better. It's not going to fix anything. It's simply going to get responses that you don't want to hear/read. If my fiance did to me what yours did to you, I'd cut them out of my life, thank my lucky stars that I dodged THAT bullet before I moved my entire life for him, and wash my hands of the whole thing. I'd be upset and betrayed, but the internet is not where I'd turn to for comfort. Nor would I feel the need to plead my case to a bunch of strangers about how I was the good guy. It's just not important.

[Richie Rich 70]

Maybe there is more in the mortar than in the pestle --just saying .

[B_J 2,752]

I'm sorry, but I refuse to believe that in 2 1/2 years that a person can only make ONE mistake in a relationship. I think both sides make mistakes all the time, whether they know about it or not. I'm sorry, but saying that there was 'only one mistake in the entire relationship' doesn't sound at all accurate to me. It kind of sounds like blame shifting to me. Now I'm not saying it's 'all Al's fault', but I am not saying it's all Elena's fault either. I'm sure both parties had a part to play, as this is how it goes with every relationship.

Also, professing love for someone, and then bashing that person to the ground... I don't understand that. I don't understand how anyone who truly LOVES another can do a complete 180 on them in that amount of time.

I don't wish ill on anyone here though, and that include Al. I do hope he finds the person he's looking for and finds ways to improve his life and himself along the way. (Everyone can use improvement!!)

I don't think anyone, including Al, thinks he only made one mistake during the entire relationship. It's just that the airport incident is brought up so much on the other site, that's why it's mentioned as the one mistake. I think the issue is more that he has no idea why she backed out. She can't explain why she changed her mind. And, of course, this is the second time she changed her mind. I think it would help him a lot if she could give him an explanation. But, honestly, it's really hard to give reasons for your feelings about somebody.

As for the bashing, while I'm not saying it's right, I understand. It's just his anger at having her do this to him. It doesn't mean he never loved her and doesn't still love her. How did she do a complete 180 on him after everything they've been through; and then have no explanation. That's what makes him so angry. I'm not saying it's right or good to bash the other person; I'm just saying I understand.

2009:

(both Al's posts on russiandiscussionwomen.com):

You don't stay together because you "promised", you stay together because you want to be together.

Creepy.

Al explained the whole "promise" issue. This is not the first time a woman did this to him. The woman who just now hurt him is the second. This current woman knows the story of the other woman. When Al proposed this time, he was worried because of what the other woman had done. And this one made the point of letting him know that she would never change her mind, she would never accept his proposal and back out. She was the one who promised that she was his for ever. She made the promise. He didn't bring it up.

I know the promise sounds weird; but when you know the whole story it makes what happened to Al seem worse. She knew what he had been through; she made him feel that it would never happen again; and then she ripped his heart out anyways.

Al, I hope you find happiness. I don't know if you have your heart set on a woman from Russia; but, if you don't, just keep in mind that there are woman all over the world. There are wonderful women in Asia, South America, Europe; and there are also wonderful women in the United States. Good luck.

[JiaYou 22]

I don't think I can say anything that makes you feel better Al but you seem like an articulate guy and if you keep your options open I have a feeling you will meet someone really special and this woman you were involved with will just be a distant memory.

[KiwiBird 132]

I just feel bad that we are getting half of the story by only hearing one point of view and the other side is not able to defend herself. That's why I'm trying to keep it in perspective for everyone here... by reminding everyone that there are two sides to every story, that everyone makes mistakes, and that no one is perfect.