How much money do I need...

[ONA 133]

I have tons of books of Russian fairy tales. (my wife is a linguist, the biggest cost of getting her her was her books and she didn't bring 1/3 of them, the rest are still on our shelves in Donetsk) Most involve one or the other spouse beating each other with something until one of them turns to gold! THEN they live happily ever after. We actually read them together (Russian practice for me and Alla likes fairy tales) and we laugh uproariously at these sometimes.

You read the wrong ones

seriously, ONA are you aware that the FSU has the largest life expectancy difference between men and women of any industrialed country (ies)? Nearly 20 years. Nice fairy tales, but given the statistics, not even close to true. The huge difference is largely attributed to alcoholism and lifestyle differences between men and women in the FSU.

That's not even funny - both my granfathers died about 10-12 years ago, both of my grandmothers are fine and are probably going to live long lives. Whom are you trying to teach about FSU, really?

But that involves a completely different logic btw - if you want to think about that, you should marry a guy at least 10-15 years younger, not older

And yes, my fiance and my ex-boyfriends are all young, but age doesn't make you any smarter a lot of times. One of my ex-boyfriends (with whom we remained good friends and who just recently got married and I'm really glad for him) likes to say that a man looks for a woman, who can be his best friend, the muse and the best lover for him. He's a pretty smart guy, with a PhD degree in physics, so I believe him... and ever since I started dating my fiance I've been trying to be all those 3 things for him and so far it has seemed to work great.

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

You read the wrong ones

That's not even funny - both my granfathers died about 10-12 years ago, both of my grandmothers are fine and are probably going to live long lives. Whom are you trying to teach about FSU, really?

But that involves a completely different logic btw - if you want to think about that, you should marry a guy at least 10-15 years younger, not older

And yes, my fiance and my ex-boyfriends are all young, but age doesn't make you any smarter a lot of times. One of my ex-boyfriends (with whom we remained good friends and who just recently got married and I'm really glad for him) likes to say that a man looks for a woman, who can be his best friend, the muse and the best lover for him. He's a pretty smart guy, with a PhD degree in physics, so I believe him... and ever since I started dating my fiance I've been trying to be all those 3 things for him and so far it has seemed to work great.

I am sure I will get the to right ones eventually.

The rest is spoken like a true young person...I believe you are young. But you are correct that if you want to die on the same day as your husband (in the FSU)you either need to have a catstrophic car crash...or marry one about 20 years younger. Your future husband wold be a toddler in toilet training right now.

Your ex is correct in what we look for and add "attractive" to the list.

[ONA 133]

The rest is spoken like a true young person...I believe you are young. But you are correct that if you want to die on the same day as your husband (in the FSU)you either need to have a catstrophic car crash...or marry one about 20 years younger. Your future husband wold be a toddler in toilet training right now.

It's good to know that my actual hubby to be is not a toddler and is at work right now

[eekee 182]

Well actually Gary, if a man isn't a heavy drinker, doesn't do stupid things, etc., then even in the FSU he will have no problem living a lifespan as long as his wife's. It's that there are men who die *so* young--drugs, fights, alcoholism, hepatitis, whatever--that it brings the whole average down. If you only count the guys who make it sixty and up, there's not that much difference. So if you manage to find a good FSU man who is actually marriage-worthy, you don't have to worry about him dying at 45 or 50 anymore than you would an American guy. If you marry a guy who drinks a bottle of vodka a day or goes to mass fights, then, well, duh.

[LvivLovers 39]

A man wanted to get married. He was having trouble choosing among three likely candidates. He gives each woman a present of $5,000 and watches to see what they do with the money.

The first does a total make over. She goes to a fancy beauty salon gets her hair done, new make up and buys several new outfits and dresses up very nicely for the man. She tells him that she has done this to be more a attractive for him because she loves him so much.

The man was impressed.

The second goes shopping to buy the man gifts. She gets him a new set of golf clubs, some new gizmos for his computer, and some expensive clothes. As she presents these gifts, she tells him that she has spent all the money on him because she loves him so much.

Again, the man is impressed.

The third invests the money in the stock market. She earns several times the $5,000. She gives him back his $5,000 and reinvests the remainder in a joint account. She tells him that she wants to save for their future because she loves him so much.

Obviously, the man was impressed.

The man thought for a long time about what each woman had done with the money he'd given her.

Then, he married the one with the biggest boobs.

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

Well actually Gary, if a man isn't a heavy drinker, doesn't do stupid things, etc., then even in the FSU he will have no problem living a lifespan as long as his wife's. It's that there are men who die *so* young--drugs, fights, alcoholism, hepatitis, whatever--that it brings the whole average down. If you only count the guys who make it sixty and up, there's not that much difference. So if you manage to find a good FSU man who is actually marriage-worthy, you don't have to worry about him dying at 45 or 50 anymore than you would an American guy. If you marry a guy who drinks a bottle of vodka a day or goes to mass fights, then, well, duh.

And if frogs had wings they would not bump their @sses on the ground when they hop. As it is there is nearly a 20 year difference in life expectancy between men and women in the FSU and yes, most of them die young from stupid things, you are exactly correct, and that is why there are so many women looking for husbands, because a lot of the men die off...or will, and the women recognize this and do not marry them. women not only outnumber men 116 to 100 but they outnumber "not stupid" men about 116 to 35.

A man wanted to get married. He was having trouble choosing among three likely candidates. He gives each woman a present of $5,000 and watches to see what they do with the money.

The first does a total make over. She goes to a fancy beauty salon gets her hair done, new make up and buys several new outfits and dresses up very nicely for the man. She tells him that she has done this to be more a attractive for him because she loves him so much.

The man was impressed.

The second goes shopping to buy the man gifts. She gets him a new set of golf clubs, some new gizmos for his computer, and some expensive clothes. As she presents these gifts, she tells him that she has spent all the money on him because she loves him so much.

Again, the man is impressed.

The third invests the money in the stock market. She earns several times the $5,000. She gives him back his $5,000 and reinvests the remainder in a joint account. She tells him that she wants to save for their future because she loves him so much.

Obviously, the man was impressed.

The man thought for a long time about what each woman had done with the money he'd given her.

Then, he married the one with the biggest boobs.

[AmyWrites 593]

Well actually Gary, if a man isn't a heavy drinker, doesn't do stupid things, etc., then even in the FSU he will have no problem living a lifespan as long as his wife's. It's that there are men who die *so* young--drugs, fights, alcoholism, hepatitis, whatever--that it brings the whole average down. If you only count the guys who make it sixty and up, there's not that much difference. So if you manage to find a good FSU man who is actually marriage-worthy, you don't have to worry about him dying at 45 or 50 anymore than you would an American guy. If you marry a guy who drinks a bottle of vodka a day or goes to mass fights, then, well, duh.

Agreed. My FSU man is actually the man I've dated who best takes care of himself; very little alcohol (maybe a beer or two on Fridays), very fit, very good diet, no drugs, no diseases, etc. I expect him to die after me.

[slim 1,525]

My FSU man is actually the man I've dated who best takes care of himself; very little alcohol (maybe a beer or two on Fridays), very fit, very good diet, no drugs, no diseases, etc.

Does he carry a purse?

[ONA 133]

Does he carry a purse?

Why? If it's possible to meet a person who doesn't smoke pot in the States, it's possible to meet somebody, who doesn't drink much in Russia

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

Why? If it's possible to meet a person who doesn't smoke pot in the States, it's possible to meet somebody, who doesn't drink much in Russia

I lived in Ukraine and have never been drunk in my entire life. I was considered a very odd duck because of this and it even caused some insult to people and I finally had to explain that it was not an insult.

Incidentally I never smoked pot either...ever. Not making any judgements because I don't care if someone else does, but it was never interesting to me. I was strictly a guns and girls guy.

Yes you can find decent men in the FSU, of course. But there are so many that are not decent that it is more difficult. And as they die off by the droves it gets harder and harder. Even a very attractive woman in her late 30s, especially if she has children is just a complete "has been" These guys can tag so many 20 somethings, virtually at will, that they are simply not going to bother with a 38 year old. They would rather have two 19s. My feeling was kind of like when you go to a party and no one else likes deviled eggs. More for me!

Also there is a pervasive culture of not being faithful among FSU men. While I had the pleasure of meeting dozens of Ukrainian women, I worked with HUNDREDS of Ukrainian (and other FSU country) men. Their general behavior toward women made me uncomfortable, to say the least. I am a very faithful and devoted husband and father, and they were...well...NOT. Hey, if you are single, go for it. when you have a family then straighten your act out and care for your business. But that is just me.

[slim 1,525]

Why? If it's possible to meet a person who doesn't smoke pot in the States, it's possible to meet somebody, who doesn't drink much in Russia

So he does carry a purse.

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

So he does carry a purse.

It is said (by Ukrainian women) if you make dates with 10 Russian/Ukrainian men on the internet, that when you go to meet them...

4 will just not show up

2 will be drunk

3 will be married

and 1 will be "blue" (gay)

Then you have to start all over.

[ONA 133]

It is said (by Ukrainian women) if you make dates with 10 Russian/Ukrainian men on the internet, that when you go to meet them...

4 will just not show up

2 will be drunk

3 will be married

and 1 will be "blue" (gay)

Then you have to start all over.

Don't make dates on the internet. Not on dating websites at least.

I have some male friends (mostly because I'm really passionate about soccer). I know some of them are good friends, but terrible boyfriends, others though are wonderful boyfriends/husbands/fathers. I actually do know a lot about them, I'm their "buddy", so they feel comfortable discussing girls/girlfriends/wives when I'm around...And I know, who is faithful, who's not, I know a lot. I discuss guys with them too and the good thing is that they actually approve of my fiance, otherwise I would have stopped talking to them

And for those Ukrainian women once again: online-dating is a bad idea, really. You know, Russian equialent to the word "arsehole" is "козёл", which is literally translated as "goat", so there is a saying "If all the men you meet are goats, stop looking for your match in the vegetable garden". They better stop trying to find a decent guy using Russian/Ukrainian online dating services. I don't know about American ones, but I don't trust them either.

Anyway the point is that saying that something is wrong with all Russian men is just ignorant. So is saying that something is wrong with all American women.

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

Anyway the point is that saying that something is wrong with all Russian men is just ignorant. So is saying that something is wrong with all American women.

Good thing I never said either.

[slim 1,525]

It is said (by Ukrainian women) if you make dates with 10 Russian/Ukrainian men on the internet, that when you go to meet them...

4 will just not show up

2 will be drunk

3 will be married

and 1 will be "blue" (gay)

Then you have to start all over.

My wife has pretty much confirmed this.

I'm their "buddy",

My wife had resigned herself to a few "buddies" since she couldn't find one good one to be a boyfriend/husband. The statistics in Gary's post above pretty much confirmed what she said. She stopped looking for "serious" men and just picked a few for fun. Of course, they were either older and married or younger and stupid. Either way, they weren't anything serious.

Anyway the point is that saying that something is wrong with all Russian men is just ignorant. So is saying that something is wrong with all American women.

Ignorant? Not necessarily. There is some truth to saying, "it is a lot more difficult to find a good partner" and that's why we're a good match. Women in the FSU have a hard time finding a stable, dependable man. Men in the US have a hard time finding a beautiful, serious woman. That's not a stereotype, it's the truth.