I feel like crying. Guh.

[bebop + rocksteady 0]

Yeah, but sometimes you just gotta rant. And on Tuesday, the day after having to have an airport good-bye, if I didn't get out my feelings to people that understood me, I was going to fling myself out my office window.

I agree everyone deals with it differently, so why chastise those of us who choose to work ourselves through the situation in this fashion? None of us chastise you for NOT getting upset.

Cass (bebop the great)

I am not angry whatsoever, have I complained once? In life I have learned that some things you have to accept as you cannot change them I make the most out of a situation and this is one of them. There is nothing I can do to speed up the process so I refuse to let it consume or depress me, but instead focus my energy on the positives and have faith. I guess as Uling said, everyone has different ways of looking/dealing with things

Patience is a virtue

[spiritee 0]

"None of us chastise you for NOT getting upset."

Sorry I must have misread some of the posts! I have been told to keep my opinions to myself.. LOL Which is ironic considering this is a Forum.

Do I think the process sucks?? Of course I do but as I said earlier there is nothing I can do about it so I think optimistically.

Anyway, I wish you all the best on your journey.!

Yeah, but sometimes you just gotta rant. And on Tuesday, the day after having to have an airport good-bye, if I didn't get out my feelings to people that understood me, I was going to fling myself out my office window.

I agree everyone deals with it differently, so why chastise those of us who choose to work ourselves through the situation in this fashion? None of us chastise you for NOT getting upset.

Cass (bebop the great)

I am not angry whatsoever, have I complained once? In life I have learned that some things you have to accept as you cannot change them I make the most out of a situation and this is one of them. There is nothing I can do to speed up the process so I refuse to let it consume or depress me, but instead focus my energy on the positives and have faith. I guess as Uling said, everyone has different ways of looking/dealing with things

Patience is a virtue

[G&C 0]

This is not out of line. How dare anyone complain about being with their fiance(e) within 115 days. The idea is to get your fiance(e) here. The rest is not irrelevant, but is definitely a subordinate consideration.

Yes, getting to the point where one has citizenship takes years. But once your fiance(e) is here, there is nothing to complain about.

After all, the petitioner has already proven they can financially support their new spouse, so why the complaining about taking forever to be allowed to work? It can't be the money because the petitioner has already stated they don't need the money.

And there is a proces for which one can travel home on a true emergency, which to me means life or death. I mean AP submittal to approval of 70 days is pretty quick; but perhaps not if the NOA1 to NOA2 is 13 days!

.

That comment is way out of line. Rebeccajo is one of the most respected contributors to this site.

If you had bothered to read her post, you would realize that immigration is a long, drawn out process, with bumps along the way for everyone.

You ought to be bashing the process, not the participants to it.

By the way, I waited 150 days for an approval from CSC. I hold no animosity for anyone who got approved faster, as it was not their fault.

I have a reversal of this for you. Imagine being one of the VSC'ers and trying to still be a member of this community. That was the situation for us. I remember trying SO HARD to never complain, to always be upbeat. I was almost embarrassed to post and occasionally I would get some nasty snarky comment about being a Vermont petitioner - it was almost as if we weren't welcome.

It was nearly as painful for me to watch my 'classmates' take so long to process as it was for them. I would feel so bad for them. I too felt it was unfair. I was ever so grateful for my own good fortune, but I really and truly felt terrible for those with other service centers. Back then, I should note that Nebraska was the 'offender' - now that's changed.

Just keep in mind that immigration is never done - not unless you naturalize and even then, that's many years down the road. Each step can bring challenges. We now await my husband's greencard. Our interview was March 9 and we still don't have it - his FBI clearance is not complete.

So just because people have the 'luck' of Vermont doesn't mean they won't have a hiccup later on. It's just this process - I hate to say it but you sort of get used to it after a while. If nothing else it helps teach patience with lifes other little troubles.

Wow, you must live a privileged life. . . . you had to wait an entire 22 days from the day you sent the petition in the mail to receiving the NOA2. YOU HAVE NOTHING TO COMPLAIGN ABOUT!!!

_

106 days and counting . . . . that is 84 more days than you!

.

[robhankins 0]

I know there are people that have been waiting a LOT longer than I, but I just got to the point where there are VSC people that sent in their petitions at the same time I did that are getting approved and it's making my stomach turn.

I am SO happy for people getting approved, but I am SO jealous. I feel guilty for being so jealous. I should be excited and giddy for people heading towards their next step, but I can't help but feel resentment.

I just got back last night from Canada, and seeing my Craigory for 4 days didn't help the situation. I'm grateful for being able to see him so often, but at the same time, it makes it harder. Because just as I start to get used to daily life without him, I go visit and I get reminded of how amazingly glorious daily life is WITH him.

Guh. CSC. C'mon now. Give us all a break.

Cass (bebop the great)

Take just five minutes. Close your eyes and BELIEVE that your loved one is 12,000 miles away and you haven't seen him in 8 months. Also believe that you filed your I129F 180 days+ ago and no approval yet. Continue by feeling that you learn of a new law called IMBRA and are issued an RFE and find out you have to file a waiver and the chances don't look good that it will be granted. You are faced with the proposition of abandoning all your time and effort in the I129F process, flying 12,000 miles to marry and then start over with a much longer I130 process, which in turn means you won't see them again for almost another year.

Now, open your eyes and accept the reality and blessing of your own situation. The above scenario is mild compared to some on here who are in their second year of waiting already.

Don't you feel good now, and so greatful? Ummmmm nice feeling, huh?

[bebop + rocksteady 0]

Like I said, I know my life can be much, much worse.

And I would never wish bad upon anyone.

But the fact of the matter is, being away from the one you love is horrible. Period.

And unfortunately, imagining cases like that don't make me feel better, they make me even more angry and upset at this whole process.

Cass (bebop the great)

Take just five minutes. Close your eyes and BELIEVE that your loved one is 12,000 miles away and you haven't seen him in 8 months. Also believe that you filed your I129F 180 days+ ago and no approval yet. Continue by feeling that you learn of a new law called IMBRA and are issued an RFE and find out you have to file a waiver and the chances don't look good that it will be granted. You are faced with the proposition of abandoning all your time and effort in the I129F process, flying 12,000 miles to marry and then start over with a much longer I130 process, which in turn means you won't see them again for almost another year.

Now, open your eyes and accept the reality and blessing of your own situation. The above scenario is mild compared to some on here who are in their second year of waiting already.

Don't you feel good now, and so greatful? Ummmmm nice feeling, huh?

[no name 1]

Take just five minutes. Close your eyes and BELIEVE that your loved one is 12,000 miles away and you haven't seen him in 8 months. Also believe that you filed your I129F 180 days+ ago and no approval yet. Continue by feeling that you learn of a new law called IMBRA and are issued an RFE and find out you have to file a waiver and the chances don't look good that it will be granted. You are faced with the proposition of abandoning all your time and effort in the I129F process, flying 12,000 miles to marry and then start over with a much longer I130 process, which in turn means you won't see them again for almost another year.

Now, open your eyes and accept the reality and blessing of your own situation. The above scenario is mild compared to some on here who are in their second year of waiting already.

Don't you feel good now, and so greatful? Ummmmm nice feeling, huh?

I didn't see my fiance for 5 months at one point in this mess. Luckily I got approved in 84 days & am now waiting for an interview. I will continue to not congratulate nor go in posts that got approved quickly. Too many of my early filing VJ friends are on here & silently hoping, not complaining. I'm not bitter but I have no patience for July/August VJers complaining.

Not that it matters, but bebop hadn't even met her fiance till a month after you filed, Rob.

I find that very hard to stomach when most of us have been struggling with immigration for many months/years.

Best of luck Rob.

Edited September 7, 2006 by devilette

[bebop + rocksteady 0]

Ahhh yes, this must come up again.

It must mean I'm not worthy of being upset at the process.

Forgive me.

Cass (bebop the great)

Not that it matters, but bebop hadn't even met her fiance till a month after you filed, Rob.

I find that very hard to stomach when most of us have been struggling with immigration for many months/years.

[rebeccajo 14]

It seems that many in this thread would rather try to make their situation seem worse than the previous poster and try to belittle or berate them for it.

Each case is as unique as each couple. Everybody here has their own story. There should be support and consideration for one another rather than a pi**ing match about who has the worst situation.

Immigration is a pain in the butt. From beginning to end - initial petition to naturalization. There is separation, travel, expense and a myriad of other challenges. People come here to learn how to deal with that just as much as they come here to learn how to file the right papers.

I didn't read the initial post as someone trying to berate others. She was just having a 'whine'. We all have those days.

[bebop + rocksteady 0]

Exactly. I was whining to those who I thought would understand the best. But alas, I think I might have been wrong?

Cass (bebop the great)

She was just having a 'whine'. We all have those days.

[rebeccajo 14]

Exactly. I was whining to those who I thought would understand the best. But alas, I think I might have been wrong?

Cass (bebop the great)

She was just having a 'whine'. We all have those days.

Some separations are longer than others. Some live further apart than others. Some have challenges that others don't have.

It always pays to see the glass half full rather than half empty.

These journeys, like everything else, will come to pass. It takes PATIENCE and some appreciation for the other man's journey.

Just like everything else in life that's worthwhile.

[bebop + rocksteady 0]

And thankfully, I've come full-circle and am back to my normal optimistic self. But, I'm sure everyone here can attest to having some days where the frustration is just unbearable. And I'm sure, as devilette alludes to, those days only become more fequent the longer you've waited. But that doesn't mean that everyone isn't entitled to having those days.

Thanks for your kind words, Rebecca.

Cass (bebop the great)

Some separations are longer than others. Some live further apart than others. Some have challenges that others don't have.

It always pays to see the glass half full rather than half empty.

These journeys, like everything else, will come to pass. It takes PATIENCE and some appreciation for the other man's journey.

Just like everything else in life that's worthwhile.

Edited September 7, 2006 by bebop + rocksteady

[rebeccajo 14]

*winks*

My words were for all in the thread.

[ChristinaM 0]

Cass, you don't want to live in New England. It gets cold up here, trust me.

But once your fiance(e) is here, there is nothing to complain about.

After all, the petitioner has already proven they can financially support their new spouse, so why the complaining about taking forever to be allowed to work? It can't be the money because the petitioner has already stated they don't need the money.

And there is a proces for which one can travel home on a true emergency, which to me means life or death. I mean AP submittal to approval of 70 days is pretty quick; but perhaps not if the NOA1 to NOA2 is 13 days!

I just wanted to pass comment on this, because it bothered me.

Once your fiance(e) is here, life does not suddenly become peaches and roses. The petitioner has proven nothing more than that they earn about the poverty level. There is no debt-to-income ratio taken into consideration, no living expense allowance, no "OMG I've got to find a whole bunch of money for the AOS" allowance. My husband earned enough money to sponsor me officially, but when I arrived here he was unemployed. Our fixed living expenses (rent, electricity) come to 55% of the poverty level. We pay out another 6% of the poverty level income on debt. That brings us to over 60% of the required sponsorship level of earnings without even thinking about the fact that we had to find money to file, eat, pay the phone bill, run my husbands car... And there was NOTHING I could do! To say that nobody needs their spouse to work because they signed the affidavit of support is very naive. Lucky you if you can afford to keep your other half at home. Most of us cannot.

There is a process whereby one can travel very quickly for emergency purposes, but it is dependant on the AOS having been filed. Emergency on Day 2 when you're not getting married until Day 83 - tough luck. K1 is a one-entry visa. You're stuck applying all over again, in most cases. I didn't apply for AP and have not been back to my home country since I married, but some people have reasons for wanting to visit before 70 days is up.

Yes, the aim is to get your other half here, but everyone applying for a K1, K3 or CR/IR1 has that same aim. Wherever they are in the process, they deserve support. It may have only been a month, but that doesn't stop them missing their loved one. It may have been over a year, and I feel terribly sorry for those of you with long wait times. Your feelings are equally as valid - including your dislike of people complaining about what you perceive as a short waiting time. It does nobody any good to forget that you're all trying to reach the same goal though, and that everyone needs to be supported.

[rebeccajo 14]

But once your fiance(e) is here, there is nothing to complain about.

After all, the petitioner has already proven they can financially support their new spouse, so why the complaining about taking forever to be allowed to work? It can't be the money because the petitioner has already stated they don't need the money.

And there is a proces for which one can travel home on a true emergency, which to me means life or death. I mean AP submittal to approval of 70 days is pretty quick; but perhaps not if the NOA1 to NOA2 is 13 days!

I just wanted to pass comment on this, because it bothered me.

Once your fiance(e) is here, life does not suddenly become peaches and roses. The petitioner has proven nothing more than that they earn about the poverty level. There is no debt-to-income ratio taken into consideration, no living expense allowance, no "OMG I've got to find a whole bunch of money for the AOS" allowance. My husband earned enough money to sponsor me officially, but when I arrived here he was unemployed. Our fixed living expenses (rent, electricity) come to 55% of the poverty level. We pay out another 6% of the poverty level income on debt. That brings us to over 60% of the required sponsorship level of earnings without even thinking about the fact that we had to find money to file, eat, pay the phone bill, run my husbands car... And there was NOTHING I could do! To say that nobody needs their spouse to work because they signed the affidavit of support is very naive. Lucky you if you can afford to keep your other half at home. Most of us cannot.

There is a process whereby one can travel very quickly for emergency purposes, but it is dependant on the AOS having been filed. Emergency on Day 2 when you're not getting married until Day 83 - tough luck. K1 is a one-entry visa. You're stuck applying all over again, in most cases. I didn't apply for AP and have not been back to my home country since I married, but some people have reasons for wanting to visit before 70 days is up.

Yes, the aim is to get your other half here, but everyone applying for a K1, K3 or CR/IR1 has that same aim. Wherever they are in the process, they deserve support. It may have only been a month, but that doesn't stop them missing their loved one. It may have been over a year, and I feel terribly sorry for those of you with long wait times. Your feelings are equally as valid - including your dislike of people complaining about what you perceive as a short waiting time. It does nobody any good to forget that you're all trying to reach the same goal though, and that everyone needs to be supported.

*big hug*

The words out of my mouth. In detail. Thank you, my friend.

[iceyspots 0]

It seems that many in this thread would rather try to make their situation seem worse than the previous poster and try to belittle or berate them for it.

Each case is as unique as each couple. Everybody here has their own story. There should be support and consideration for one another rather than a pi**ing match about who has the worst situation.

Immigration is a pain in the butt. From beginning to end - initial petition to naturalization. There is separation, travel, expense and a myriad of other challenges. People come here to learn how to deal with that just as much as they come here to learn how to file the right papers.

I didn't read the initial post as someone trying to berate others. She was just having a 'whine'. We all have those days.

we like to call them pity parties lol