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Tuanv

Dam Hoi and Wedding on the same day

By Tuanv in Vietnam

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Tuanv Rising Star

Tuanv   2

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It is normal to have dam hoi and wedding on the same day? Is this consider a red flag? A friend of mine is planning to do this.

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ScottThuy Mentor

ScottThuy   140

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its not normal, but it happens... IMO this alone would not be a red flag.. only if it were done on the first trip and if other flags also existed..

"Every one of us bears within himself the possibilty of all passions, all destinies of life in all its forms. Nothing human is foreign to us" - Edward G. Robinson.

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ScottThuy Mentor

ScottThuy   140

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being vietnamese i don't understand the concept of a dam hoi and dam cuoi on the same day? might as well not have the DH and just go straight to the wedding, that would make more sense.

No Dam Hoi is like going ahead without honoring the family and their opinion..... having both on the same day isnt the best way to go but its better than no Dam Hoi at all...

"Every one of us bears within himself the possibilty of all passions, all destinies of life in all its forms. Nothing human is foreign to us" - Edward G. Robinson.

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Tuanv Rising Star

Tuanv   2

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Can Dan hoi be done with the present of the groom? The groom's family would be there of course.

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ScottThuy Mentor

ScottThuy   140

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Can Dan hoi be done with the present of the groom? The groom's family would be there of course.

Not clear on what you are asking here... The Man and woman both must be present at the Dam Hoi.... both families are usually there, but a proxy can be there instead if the USC's family can't be there...

"Every one of us bears within himself the possibilty of all passions, all destinies of life in all its forms. Nothing human is foreign to us" - Edward G. Robinson.

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hniHnitsuJ Proficient

hniHnitsuJ   8

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Can Dan hoi be done with the present of the groom? The groom's family would be there of course.

Dam Hoi w/o a groom is not a Dam Hoi. hihihi. j/k :bonk:

I have my dam hoi in the morning, and wedding at night time. NP

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Tuanv Rising Star

Tuanv   2

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Thank guys.

I will let my friend know.

Edited by Tuanv

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Cardin Contributor

Cardin   0

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Dam Hoi and Wedding on the same day is common.

For vietnamese trandition theres 3 steps to getting marry.

1.) Dam da.m / dam noi - remember now this is totally different than Dam Hoi. This is when ancestor/old folks from groom side go over to bride to ask for permission to wed. We carry exactly what we carry on Dam Cuoi / wedding day. We carry Wine etcs over.

2.) Dam Hoi - is after the acceptance of Dam Da.m.

3. Wedding

My wife and I had Dam D.am and we video tape that. Thats when our folks ask us in front if we accept the marriage and would like to proceed with it. There's about 14 people there witnessing it. Then the groom side stood up and ask permission to have dam hoi and wedding on same day. We explained since my dad is disable and could only be in Vietnam for 1 month time frame due to his benefits requirements. They accepted. =)

So no, its ok to have dam hoi/ wedding on the same day. You gotta do what you gotta do. If you got extra cash to play with then dam hoi wouldn't be a bother. But since most of us are on a timeframe its best to have it on same day. 3-4 weeks after we arrive in Vietnam. I'm not on a timeframe but my dad is so I had to do what his schedule fits.

So don't worry about it bud. If they are gonna flag you for dam hoi and wedding on same day then by god they'll flag you for something else even if you had it different days. It's all up to the Officers we get. =)

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