Green card holder - arresred for domestic violence... deportation?

[OnMyWayID 1,489]

That's right - it is crazy! It is blown out of proportion this domestic violence law in US!( I guess it became so overprotective because some really ugly cases appeared, I just thought I am not in that category... am I?

I can't talk to my husband and I don't want him to say it never happened - I am afraid they would take him to jail for lying, wouldn't they???

The laws are gender neutral and designed the way they are because of all the instances where a battered woman would not press charges on the guy in the past.. so if one party shows clear physical abuse or the other party admits to doing anything physical ("I slapped him on the arm") the police are generally obligated to take action. I am surprised that this would go to court and not be basically plead down to nothing... It should be pretty clear he is in no imminent danger and you are no threat to anyone.

[JimVaPhuong 4,863]

Well.. you are probably right but I was not aware that woman would be arrested for slap on arm... and now I cannot take it back - I don;t want to get charges for lying in the court...

Thanks for you advices and for sharing your experience!

As squeaky noted, if they did not read you your Miranda rights before you made the statement then the statement can't be used against you in court. Even if they did read you your rights, you can recant anything you said to the police as a statement made under duress.

Hopefully, you have a decent attorney and not a public defender...

[Bad_Daddy 2,209]

Are you sure it was only a slap on his arm, because I find it really odd for prosecutors to waste their valuable times on this case. So did they charge you with assault in third degree or what?

The fight must have been more violent, and a slap on a grown man arm shouldn't bring a conviction or deportation.

It's obvious you know nothing about DV charges. They can make a DV stick on you just for flipping off your spouse. It's a DV4. This is what this country has come to with the bs DV laws.

[Myopia 93]

Any non citizen can be deported, if there is reason to.

To the OP- Jim is right, they cannot force your husband to testify against you. If they didn't read you your rights before your statement of what happened, they cannot use your admission of guilt against you either. Without your admission, and without your husband's testimony, they have no case at all. Talk to your lawyer about Miranda rights, and talk to your husband about pleading the fifth (not testifying or making a statement). You will be fine.

They only have to miranda you before they actually charge you for the crime. Anything you say before that comes from your free will is admissible.

A slap that leaves a mark is assault and they photographed it too. Open and shut case.

She was read her rights after she was fingerprinted and photographed at the point when they told her formally that she was going to be charged with the crime.

Edited April 9, 2011 by Myopia

[Tim/Mav 305]

Any non citizen can be deported, if there is reason to.

To the OP- Jim is right, they cannot force your husband to testify against you. If they didn't read you your rights before your statement of what happened, they cannot use your admission of guilt against you either. Without your admission, and without your husband's testimony, they have no case at all. Talk to your lawyer about Miranda rights, and talk to your husband about pleading the fifth (not testifying or making a statement). You will be fine.

NOT TRUE. If the District Attourney wants to make a Case of it with pictures, statements, witnesses, arrest and you or the other party wants to drop charges it is not up to you. It will be up to the Distict Attourneys Office.

But, there is more. Now you have to battle the legal System.

Your Attourney should Argue: How can they attend Counciling with a No-Contact Order in Place.

The Couple wish to reconcile differences.

The husband must refuse to testify and you as well, self defense, I think there was more to it than that but not judgemental about it. (If you plead self defense, then your only fighting again, admit mistakes on both sides and go on)

You are on Trail, not your husband, odd how the system works.

I would suggest you attend Al-Anon for Spouses with an Alcoholic. You threw his beer away. Thats what started the fight and your nagging without understanding the Alcohlic Mind.

I hope I did'nt offend you with my truth. Tim

[Myopia 93]

I would suggest you attend Al-Anon for Spouses with an Alcoholic. You threw his beer away. Thats what started the fight and your nagging without understanding the Alcohlic Mind.

I hope I did'nt offend you with my truth. Tim

So true. Alcoholism is such a nasty self depreciating disease but it is a disease. A close family relative is a functional alcoholic who manages to get through beers and vodka every single night and throwing her stuff away doesnt do anything but cause her to act crazier.

Its just horrible how alcoholism affects someone but getting that help with Al Anon as a spouse may be mitigating for the op

Edited April 9, 2011 by Myopia

[Tim/Mav 305]

So true. Alcoholism is such a nasty self depreciating disease but it is a disease. A close family relative is a functional alcoholic who manages to get through beers and vodka every single night and throwing her stuff away doesnt do anything but cause her to act crazier.

Its just horrible how alcoholism affects someone but getting that help with Al Anon as a spouse may be mitigating for the op

Very True. This problem did'nt happen overnight. I agree with you. I hope them the best. A simple Arguement turned into something Not expected.

[Tim/Mav 305]

It's obvious you know nothing about DV charges. They can make a DV stick on you just for flipping off your spouse. It's a DV4. This is what this country has come to with the bs DV laws.

What Why_Me means by DV is Domestic Violence. It is not tolerated and is subject to jail, fines, on your record even only a misdeameanor. Earlier Post "Think" that Miranda rights were no given. I doubt that. The only defense is to be a Couple again and learn from this mistake and move ahead.

Please in your favor: You don't have prior Complaints with Police Agencies or Courts for simular Offenses.

I see No reason for Deportation if you stay ahead of the System and Volunteer for Services instead of them requireing it.

I also feel as a gut feeling, your husband wished this never happened either.

I think He Will Be There For You.

[Tim/Mav 305]

The laws are gender neutral and designed the way they are because of all the instances where a battered woman would not press charges on the guy in the past.. so if one party shows clear physical abuse or the other party admits to doing anything physical ("I slapped him on the arm") the police are generally obligated to take action. I am surprised that this would go to court and not be basically plead down to nothing... It should be pretty clear he is in no imminent danger and you are no threat to anyone.

The Court System is Changed. They are designed to make money even for quarrels between spouses. You don't even have to physically hit your Spouse as Why_Me pointed out. Just a aggressive threat. End of story. Your going to jail.

[Kizana 4]

What Why_Me means by DV is Domestic Violence. It is not tolerated and is subject to jail, fines, on your record even only a misdeameanor. Earlier Post "Think" that Miranda rights were no given. I doubt that. The only defense is to be a Couple again and learn from this mistake and move ahead.

Please in your favor: You don't have prior Complaints with Police Agencies or Courts for simular Offenses.

I see No reason for Deportation if you stay ahead of the System and Volunteer for Services instead of them requireing it.

I also feel as a gut feeling, your husband wished this never happened either.

I think He Will Be There For You.

Tim, thank you so much for explaining and not judging me

You are right- my husband wrote a letter to the prosecutor asking to drop charges and drop no-contact order and let us go to counseling together ( currently each of us going to therapy to work on our issues and therapist already wrote a letter to my lawyer about my treatments etc.)

I miss my husband a lot! I want him to come home and he wants it too - he wrote me email about that ( i am not allowed to communicate and i dont but apparently he can write me about anything - my lawyer said "just do not reply") And I am very depressed knowing that that most likely no-contact order will not be dropped until the case is resolved ( hopefully it will be dropped)

I just hope for better and pray

Edited April 9, 2011 by Kizana

[OnMyWayID 1,489]

The Court System is Changed. They are designed to make money even for quarrels between spouses. You don't even have to physically hit your Spouse as Why_Me pointed out. Just a aggressive threat. End of story. Your going to jail.

Well.. I'm not going to jail I was not the one involved.. I would assume the court would extract some money and that would be the end of it. If the story we have is in fact the gist of what really happened then the judge could act at his/her discrepancy whereas the police officers could not..

Edited April 9, 2011 by OnMyWayID

[Tim/Mav 305]

Tim, thank you so much for explaining and not judging me

You are right- my husband wrote a letter to the prosecutor asking to drop charges and drop no-contact order and let us go to counseling together ( currently each of us going to therapy to work on our issues and therapist already wrote a letter to my lawyer about my treatments etc.)

I miss my husband a lot! I want him to come home and he wants it too - he wrote me email about that ( i am not allowed to communicate and i dont but apparently he can write me about anything - my lawyer said "just do not reply") And I am very depressed knowing that that most likely no-contact order will not be dropped until the case is resolved ( hopefully it will be dropped)

I just hope for better and pray

You are very Welcome Young Lady for being Truthful and address this. I know it's hard. I can relate to your post. I wanted to be truthful with you. You will get over this. Hugs !

[Kizana 4]

Well.. I'm not going to jail I was not the one involved.. I would assume the court would extract some money and that would be the end of it. If the story we have is in fact the gist of what really happened then the judge could act at his/her discrepancy whereas the police officers could not..

I hope so too!!!

[Kizana 4]

You are very Welcome Young Lady for being Truthful and address this. I know it's hard. I can relate to your post. I wanted to be truthful with you. You will get over this. Hugs !

I really appreciate guiding me through the laws and explaining them, and just being so kind to me, all of you guys!

Pre-trial is in two days, I don't expect no contact order to be dropped but I hope for better, and maybe my lawyer can have charges dropped before the second pre-trial ( about a month)

You guys actually gave me some hope!

[Tim/Mav 305]

I really appreciate guiding me through the laws and explaining them, and just being so kind to me, all of you guys!

Pre-trial is in two days, I don't expect no contact order to be dropped but I hope for better, and maybe my lawyer can have charges dropped before the second pre-trial ( about a month)

You guys actually gave me some hope!

I'm Courious. Does your Husband have the right to be by yourside at this pre-trial. End it now is what I mean... He's not testifying against you and is trying to stop charges.... The whole thing sounds silly when there was no physical danger. Just a Spat between Spouses.