Best way to meet a Ukrainian/Russian (and cheapest)

[Turboguy 6]

HappyGuy, I am glad to hear you had good results with your European Connections tour. I did three EC tours but really had bad results and I still have a number of friends from my three tours all of whom had bad results. So, I know the Steckel's (Kyle in particular) and to be honest I did enjoy the tours and they were well done. I did my first in Oct 2001, Kiev and Moscow then did a couple more over the next two years. I came to the conclusion that the lady I met on the first tour was a serial fiancee who had a number of guys thinking they would marry her and who were sending her money for English Lessons ect. On my second tour I met a lady from St. Petersburg who seemed really great and in my follow up visit to her spend $ 3000 on the ground not including hotel about half of which probably ended up in her pocket. She was a total scammer. My third and last tour on the follow up visit the gal had me shopping for $ 400.00 boots within an hour of meeting. I didn't by the boots and canceled my plans to spend more days with her.

European Connections was a 25 million dollar business and they have since sold their business to an outfit in Canada. I do think IMBRA was a big part of the reason.

I thought the problem with EC's tours was that a lot of the guys had little experience with RW and they would advertise for women in the newspapers and even had signs out on the street urging women to attend. I am sure many scammers realize that the guys attending don't have a lot of experience with RW (you can call it being a sucker if you want) and that a pretty woman will get them to open their hearts and their wallets.

I did one tour after with an outfit called first dream and that was quite good and they don't let women in off the street.

Of the guys I stayed in touch with most came home thinking they had found thier wife but none ended up having success. I do think back in the late 90's when women were more desperate to escape from the FSU most guys on the tours found a wife but most also got divorced not long after they arrived.

I did like the concept of where EC had their meetings much better than the nightclubs AFA had their tours in.

[slim 1,530]

Those were more like tradeshows or social mixers, weren't they?

[1HappyGuy 45]

My EC tour was in May/June of 2003. I think things had started to change for them, as quite a large percentage of guys on my tour ended up marrying, but admittedly there were some scammers. And yes, a lot of guys were really uninformed, myself included. Of the 15 guys on the tour, 5 got married to women they met during that tour. One was really scammed bad and had to pay her to divorce and leave America. One other got married about 3 years later but that ended badly when it appeared she was schizophrenic and caused him all sorts of problems. I've lost touch with him. As far as I know, 4 of the 15 are still married.

Slim, I would classify them more as social mixers. Obviously in an effort to impress the men, EC did invite a lot more women than their advertisements indicated as many women showed up for each social. But the events were nice, well lit and entertaining for both the men and women. Each man was to select his personal translator to facilitate the interactions. The one piece of advice that EC gave that I thought was best, is to select a translator that is not in the age group you are searching. This seemed to work the best for the men that did this. I know that a few had problems.

As to the scamming women, I don't know if anyone can fully eliminate that but meeting face to face I believe increases your chances of success, if you are paying attention. You can't fix stupid, if you look but don't see or hear but don't listen.

I know that EC spent a lot of money fighting the marriage broker provisions of the VAWA and have now gotten out of the tour business completely. I met both of the Steckel brothers and Byran seemed the most business like. I think Kyle was using the business for his own personal entertainment for a long time. He finally got married about 6 years ago.

All I can say is that my tour was successful eventually. There is no doubt that you need to go over there and meet the ladies.

[baron555 934]

VAWA and IMBRA are two totally different things.

One must look at the above statements from a historical basis. Back in 2003, we didn't have the Internet and all the various means of communicating as we do now.......yes it would be very difficult to determine scams from only emails or written letters.

Now there are so many means to introduce yourself and vet out seriousness that I can't see how socials can be popular, based a lot on the cost involved.

Just MHO.

[slim 1,530]

Back in 2003, we didn't have the Internet

Were you living under a rock or something?

Even I had internet in 2003! The girls did too although most of them didn't have it at home they had to go to the cafe or something.

[baron555 934]

Maybe but cheap calling cards and Skype and the such were no available....or maybe they were.....if so then why spend all that money for a social when you could do it from here?

I mean that after you meet a lady at a social you still have to go through all the correspondence phase and probably another trip.

[1HappyGuy 45]

VAWA and IMBRA are two totally different things.

IMBRA came about because of VAWA. We covered this years ago.

[slim 1,530]

Maybe but cheap calling cards and Skype and the such were no available....or maybe they were.....

I met my wife in 2000. We kept in touch until '05 via phone calls, email and letters. Calling cards weren't cheap and skype wasn't around yet but we still corresponded.

I guess in today's terms it would be quite different. We'd typically go two or three weeks without talking on the phone and only exchange an email or two each month. For someone trying to "build up" I guess it wouldn't really work for them since we've now grown accustomed to instant communications and if she didn't reply to your message by the end of the day, something is wrong.

We had the luxury of never having to deal with that #######! Still don't, really. When my wife goes on vacation she'll call me once a week or so and if I'm out all weekend I might send her a text to let her know I'm on my way back.

if so then why spend all that money for a social when you could do it from here?

I thought the whole point of the social was for initial contact and first meetings in person? Aren't the girls you've "added to cart" and contacted a time or two supposed to be there?

I can understand having a mixer to meet new women who are interested in a man like you but it seems like the whole process would be a waste of time and money since you can head over there and sit at the cafe attracting more women than a shoe sale at Macy's.

I mean that after you meet a lady at a social you still have to go through all the correspondence phase and probably another trip.

If she's brand new. I guess it makes sense to meet a new lady (if she has potential) but I just can't see myself dropping a couple grand to "start over." Especially not when a couple grand has you living like a rock star for a week or two over there.

[baron555 934]

My understanding is that the women at the social are new to you, meaning you have never contacted them before.

And the man doesn't have a listing of the women who will be attending ahead of time to preselect and vise versa for the women.

Maybe I'm wrong but it just seems like speed dating and for a difference in cost of $1,999, one can do that with modern search functions on websites.

Maybe I'm all wrong but that's just the way I understood those things to work. I really don't care anymore since my wife won't let me have any more!

[HannahP 119]

I met my wife in 2000. We kept in touch until '05 via phone calls, email and letters. Calling cards weren't cheap and skype wasn't around yet but we still corresponded.

I guess in today's terms it would be quite different. We'd typically go two or three weeks without talking on the phone and only exchange an email or two each month. For someone trying to "build up" I guess it wouldn't really work for them since we've now grown accustomed to instant communications and if she didn't reply to your message by the end of the day, something is wrong.

We had the luxury of never having to deal with that #######! Still don't, really. When my wife goes on vacation she'll call me once a week or so and if I'm out all weekend I might send her a text to let her know I'm on my way back.

I met my husband (who only speaks English, much like myself) around the same time. I think we were both slightly more internet savvy because we used ICQ to communicate. But it was definitely much more slower. Not speaking to each other for six months was worrisome -- not a few days or weeks.

We're still trying to adjust to text messaging and we're slightly more co-dependent. He forgets his cell phone and I forget to charge mine all the time. I call him on his work phone if I need to. ("What do you want me to make you for dinner?") He'll call me at home on the land line if he needs me. ("....") After seven years of living together...it gets a bit tedious, I guess.

[eekee 182]

Eww, shoes at Macy's.

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

Eww, shoes at Macy's.

Alla likes Macy's but I do not think she ever bought shoes there. I don't pay attention to that so what is up with it?

My landlord in Odessa had a marriage agency also (dovetailed nicely with apartment and real estate rentals) and was always after me to go to one of his "socials" Since I pretty much had to kick hot women out of my way in order to go anywhere, including to work where I chose to ride the bus instead of being driven (hot women were one of the reasons)I never saw the sense in paying money to meet Ukrainian women.

However, he would also send his clients by and tell them to drop in on "the American" that lives in apartment 37 mostly so we could speak English. They told me that when they went to these there were a lot of women there, some of them had corresponded before, some not. They said they had the opportunity to have their photo taken with any or all of the women so that if something developed they would have proof of meeting. Of course there were fees for this.

At any rate, those socials sounded to me more like "speed dating"

Alla;s friend in Moscow that is very much interested in getting married is going to what she calls "speed dating" sessions, which seem like the same thing. But most of the men there (if not all) are Russian. And, as she says, out of 10...2 don't show up, 4 are drunk, 2 are gay, and 2 homeless.

[daryl&lada 8]

I met my Russian fiancee on a language exchange site that was and is free. Funny thing, neither of us were looking for romance. She was wanting help with English and I was wanting help with German... Go figure... but after many bread and butter messages and emails, we just "clicked". I have never subscribed to a dating service or site so I can't help you there. Don't think for a second such a relationship is going to be "cheap" by any stretch of the imagination!

[visaveteran1 33]

FYI, Nordstrom is the department store famous for its shoes. Macy's has the big parade in NY on New Year's Day.

Regarding "Russian love tours," there was always a multi-tiered aspect to them. It was right there "between the lines" in their ads. Some men went as sex tourists without wanting marriage. Some men went for wife hunting but adapted to the sex tourism reality and went along with the program. Some sincere marriage-minded men, looking for the perfect Russian wife, were the easy marks and got taken to the cleaners. I'm betting very few actually secured a good wife through "A Foreign Affair" or the other tour companies. Of course, there's always a few happy stories.

In the case of these tours, both men and women seemed to equally exploit the situation. The movie, "A Foreign Affair" (also titled "Two Brothers and a Bride") captured this situation pretty well...and actually filmed the movie from a real life tour with the "A Foreign Affair" tour company. Some of the amateur acting is a giveaway. I enjoyed watching that flick and it used to be shown on HBO a lot as one of it's low-grade "filler" movies. Since I jettisoned cable from my life I haven't seen the movie for a while.

PS: I always enjoy the "I didn't start out looking for a foreign wife" stories. Well, shucks fellas! Good for you all who just randomly stumbled into a Russian marriage.

As for me, I unashamedly was looking for a mail-order bride from the get-go. I love browsing catalogs online, so why not carry that into wife hunting? We are, after all, hunters and gathers. I hunted and gathered my wife online. What could be more organic?

[Turboguy 6]

My understanding is that the women at the social are new to you, meaning you have never contacted them before.

And the man doesn't have a listing of the women who will be attending ahead of time to preselect and vise versa for the women.

Maybe I'm wrong but it just seems like speed dating and for a difference in cost of $1,999, one can do that with modern search functions on websites.

When I did my tours I felt one of the advantages was that you could meet people who you had never contacted and many who were just coming there to sign up to be in the catalog. I have never tried speed dating but from what I have seen on TV it would be similar. The differences that I could think of is that in speed dating I think you usually go from table to table and meet everyone and make a list of those who interested you which is matched to the list she makes of the guys she finds interesting. Basically at the socials you could just pick the one you wanted to take to dinner. The only way they refused is if one of the other guys asked her first. The other difference is that in most tours you sort of pick out the ones you feel you would like to talk to, invite them to your table and chat for 15 mintues then move on to the next woman you want to talk to.

To me the search function on a website is not quite as helpful as sitting fact to face with a woman for 15 minutes.