Gay couple's immigration plight

[KittyPollitt 284]

A gay Long Island couple who have played by the immigration rules for more than a decade are stuck in a Catch-22 that could tear them apart just when they need each other most.

New Yorker Edwin Blesch, 70, and his South African husband, Tim Smulian, 65, have been spending six months on Long Island and six months abroad to comply with Smulian's tourist visa.

But Blesch, who has HIV, suffered several mini-strokes and other complications and is now unable to travel safely.

Smulian is his primary caregiver - but has no way to stay here permanently.

"It's not a good idea for me to be away," Blesch, a retired English professor, told the Daily News. "And it's not a good idea for me to be away from Tim.

"That's the conundrum."

The men were married in South Africa in 1999, a union that is recognized by New York State and Suffolk County.

That allows them to get a joint fishing license each year, but it hasn't helped with federal immigration benefits - which are not extended to gay couples.

Fortunately for Blesch and Smulian, that may change.

They filed last month for a green card, which immigration officials normally would deny. But they're asking U.S. Citizen and Immigration Services to use the power of discretion and make an exception for them, especially since the federal Defense of Marriage Act, which does not recognize gay marriages, is being challenged in court.

It is a long shot. After the White House announced in February it was no longer defending the 1996 law, immigration officials put decisions on green card applications from the same-sex spouses of U.S. citizens on hold. But Homeland Security lawyers told them this week to keep following the act even as the legal challenge continues.

Smulian, 65, who was trained in South Africa to care for AIDS patients, said he just hopes the act is overturned "in our lifetime."

The legal nonprofit group Immigration Equality, which is representing the couple, plans to file a class-action suit challenging DOMA. If turned down, Blesch and Smulian could be plaintiffs.

Rachel Tiven, the group's executive director, said the couple presents an especially compelling case for the law to change. "They never overstayed, not by one day, and have always been careful to follow the letter of the law," she said.

For years, Smulian and Blesch have been leaving for their "exile" every year on the first week of July - at first to South Africa, lately to Montreal.

Smulian was home in January when Blesch suffered a stroke in the shower and had emergency surgery, and he's terrified something serious could happen while he's not there.

His husband can't handle travel, but even if he could, Medicaid would not pay for treatment overseas.

"We need a break from the travel," Smulian said. "It's killing us."

The two say they have a rich life on Long Island and want to spend their twilight years there together.

"This is a basic right - to fall in love with and live with the person you want to. The pursuit of happiness, I guess you'd call it," Blesch said. "We would like to be at home, at our fire, reading...Who wants to grow old alone when you have someone who loves you?"

epearson@nydailynews.com

Immigration is not a right.

[tany1157 161]

eh, like I tell my hubby. Government can't tell me who I can and can't love, but they sure as hell have a say in who gets to immigrate to the US. It's a privilege, not a right, even if we are married. It sucks, but it's the rules, and I intend to play by them until my hubby is here with me.

Sad story though. Makes me realize that my circumstances could be worse.

[Miss smarty pants 84]

eh, like I tell my hubby. Government can't tell me who I can and can't love, but they sure as hell have a say in who gets to immigrate to the US. It's a privilege, not a right, even if we are married. It sucks, but it's the rules, and I intend to play by them until my hubby is here with me.

Sad story though. Makes me realize that my circumstances could be worse.

Wow, Tany. I can't believe how you are holding up. I would be so mad. My (now) spouse's second interview will be soon and I'm just prayin it's good. Your situation scares me a bit though. I guess where there is a will, there's a way, right?

I don't think recognizing gay marriages is too far off. However, I do think it will open more challenges for already skeptical immigration officers overseas...esp. in Middle Eastern countries, where cultural norms are heavily weighted.

Edited April 6, 2011 by i luv my fiance

[tany1157 161]

Wow, Tany. I can't believe how you are holding up. I would be so mad. My (now) spouse's second interview will be soon and I'm just prayin it's good. Your situation scares me a bit though. I guess where there is a will, there's a way, right?

I don't think recognizing gay marriages is too far off. However, I do think it will open more challenges for already skeptical immigration officers overseas...esp. in Middle Eastern countries, where cultural norms are heavily weighted.

You are correct with gay marriages making immigration more challenging....

I think you guys will do well. From what I gather, what happened to us is a rarity. Just my advice, bring chat logs...they apparently, in some cases, want to see the context of the communication between the couple....see my posts in the "chat with the casa consulate" thread. I think we are the EXACT proof of why you need to know why you are denied the first time, so you can counter those flags at the second interview. Just getting married is never a "slam dunk." (we knew this, but took our chances anyways) Apparently, their issues with us weren't resolved 15 months after the first denial

Let me tell you, the day of the denial, hubby and I were hysterical, and irrational. Was horrendous. The next couple of days were ok, since we had a "plan" in place, to try to get him a second interview. Then the anger set in, and I was really not pleasant to be around the last few days. Today, I think the acceptance is sinking in, since the consulate has said the package has left for the US already. Hubby is still in the angry phase. He is not ready to accept what has happened, and us being in these two different phases is not making for pleasant convo these past 2 days....but, he will soon accept it, and we can move onto our next course of action.

I only wish the best of luck to you both