Akpekpe traditions, customs, origins

[LoveNigerianStyle 0]

Hey All,

First of all please feel free to correct my spelling!! This is the tribe my fiance family is from. His parents now deceased were both born in Auchi Edo state. From what I can tell this is a very small group. I don't know alot about them except that they are Muslim. Khalid's grandmother is 97 and seems to be of sound mind. She walks to the market daily and makes meals for the family. She is definately of sound body. One thing I haven't yet done is to have him ask her about customs and traditions and for him to write this down.

Does anyone know anything about this group? Nothing online. There is a town in Togo called Amou Akpekpe. I don't know if these are the same people but I've read that Nigerians did travel to and populate places in Togo in the 11th century.

Anyone know anything or anyone from this place/tribe in Nigeria? Thanks

[LoveNigerianStyle 0]

Hey All,

First of all please feel free to correct my spelling!! This is the tribe my fiance family is from. His parents now deceased were both born in Auchi Edo state. From what I can tell this is a very small group. I don't know alot about them except that they are Muslim. Khalid's grandmother is 97 and seems to be of sound mind. She walks to the market daily and makes meals for the family. She is definately of sound body. One thing I haven't yet done is to have him ask her about customs and traditions and for him to write this down.

Does anyone know anything about this group? Nothing online. There is a town in Togo called Amou Akpekpe. I don't know if these are the same people but I've read that Nigerians did travel to and populate places in Togo in the 11th century.

Anyone know anything or anyone from this place/tribe in Nigeria? Thanks

Hey All,

I just spoke with my fiance. I told him about my concerns about our wedding and me learning the customs of his tribe. He keeps telling me don't worry he has everything under control and will teach me at the right time. He also told me his female cousin is getting married this month on the 23rd so everyone is busy with her wedding...incl his grandmother. I feel so left out! I wish I was there to witness everything. I think it's because I'm an outsider that maybe these customs aren't as important. I did meet everyone while I was there in Jan and everyone was very happy to meet me and I them. Khalid says his cousin is not getting married by the Registry. He says I'm an "international person" and the Registry is better for us. Maybe because I'm not part of the tribe there are certain things I can and can't partake in. Maybe I'm forbidden to do and know some things. I'm guessing I know but I think he doesn't want to hurt my feelings about the whole thing. He said we'll make our own traditions. I maynot be part of the tribe but I at least want to look like an Akpekpe woman for my wedding. He wants to do everything when I arrive and I want to have some things decided before then like what we wear for the wedding. I'd really like to bring my outfit with me. Oh well, just a little sad right now...

[NigeriaorBust 4,087]

I am not familiar with that tribe of the Muslim traditions but it is fairly standard that the bride and groom wear clothing from the same material. Go to the gallary and search for Nigeria and you will see a few examples in there. The exact cut varies a but by tribe but the principal is pretty much the same. I am really suprised that he doesn't want a religious wedding as Nigerians tend to hold their religion very dearly.

[LoveNigerianStyle 0]

I am not familiar with that tribe of the Muslim traditions but it is fairly standard that the bride and groom wear clothing from the same material. Go to the gallary and search for Nigeria and you will see a few examples in there. The exact cut varies a but by tribe but the principal is pretty much the same. I am really suprised that he doesn't want a religious wedding as Nigerians tend to hold their religion very dearly.

Yes well we are of different religions. I will be converting from christian to muslim. I can't pinpoint what the problem is. Like we said this is a small tribe and in Nigeria well I'm just guessing yall correct me but larger tribes get a larger share of resources.

The Akpekpe people are a small group and I don't know if they are growing or not. Perhaps it's better for some to identify with larger groups around them? Alot of whats going on in Nigeria is about survival.

Thanks so much I will search the gallery for images.

[Zee Bee 61]

Lots of weddings are videotaped. Is there any way you could get a copy of it so that you can see what the traditions are?

I feel like there are some traditions that cross over and some that may be particular to certain tribes. Like NigeriaorBust said, the bride and groom wear outfits made of the same material etc. I can't think of what traditions you would not be able to participate in because you are not a member of their tribe but I could be wrong. As far as Muslim traditions go (in Ghana which may be the same as Nigeria) an imam would normally lead the ceremony with a prayer and then ask representatives of the bride and groom if they accept the other. Then there can be more prayers and speeches but, in my experience, non-Muslims can participate in these ceremonies. Once again, this is what I know from Ghana, not Nigeria, so there could be some differences but I just wanted you to get an idea of what to expect.

Could it be that your SO does not want to go the traditional route and just wants something simple?

[LoveNigerianStyle 0]

Lots of weddings are videotaped. Is there any way you could get a copy of it so that you can see what the traditions are?

I feel like there are some traditions that cross over and some that may be particular to certain tribes. Like NigeriaorBust said, the bride and groom wear outfits made of the same material etc. I can't think of what traditions you would not be able to participate in because you are not a member of their tribe but I could be wrong. As far as Muslim traditions go (in Ghana which may be the same as Nigeria) an imam would normally lead the ceremony with a prayer and then ask representatives of the bride and groom if they accept the other. Then there can be more prayers and speeches but, in my experience, non-Muslims can participate in these ceremonies. Once again, this is what I know from Ghana, not Nigeria, so there could be some differences but I just wanted you to get an idea of what to expect.

Could it be that your SO does not want to go the traditional route and just wants something simple?

Hey Zee Bee,

Thanks so much for your reply! I think you got it right, he just would like something very simple. Thanks again!

[knt 4]

I also don't know specifics of Nigeria, but have been to a ton of Muslim weddings in Mali. I know that if you have a religious ceremony at a mosque, you can't actually partake in that if you aren't muslim (or haven't yet converted). An American friend of mine married a Muslim man while I was there and the men went to the mosque and she stayed behind. Other than that, I'm not sure how much of the Malian traditions come from being Muslim or come from being Malian, I think mostly the latter. I do know though, it was hard in the beginning for my fiance to talk about customs sometimes because he thinks that I won't understand or won't get the meaning of certain things. I would ask him questions and he didn't get why I wanted to know or what the point of explaining it was. But after we talked it over and my reasons for asking certain things, he started to understand and became very open about talking about customs. I think a lot of West Africans just aren't used to people asking questions that seem like the questioner wouldn't understand the answer to. And now, I think he really loves the fact that I want to respect and understand his culture, especially because he is so proud of being African. Keep trying to ask questions because I'm sure he will eventually really appreciate you trying to understand his culture!!!

[Mairo 0]

I can send you a picture of two of mine if you send me your email, I got married in the islamic tradition and it was as simple as could be. There are some rules though about the registry and it will only apply to you once you convert to islam.

[LoveNigerianStyle 0]

I can send you a picture of two of mine if you send me your email, I got married in the islamic tradition and it was as simple as could be. There are some rules though about the registry and it will only apply to you once you convert to islam.

Mairo,

Thanks so much for your reply and for the picks!

sillygirl1962@gmail.com

I really appreciate your input.

[LoveNigerianStyle 0]

I also don't know specifics of Nigeria, but have been to a ton of Muslim weddings in Mali. I know that if you have a religious ceremony at a mosque, you can't actually partake in that if you aren't muslim (or haven't yet converted). An American friend of mine married a Muslim man while I was there and the men went to the mosque and she stayed behind. Other than that, I'm not sure how much of the Malian traditions come from being Muslim or come from being Malian, I think mostly the latter. I do know though, it was hard in the beginning for my fiance to talk about customs sometimes because he thinks that I won't understand or won't get the meaning of certain things. I would ask him questions and he didn't get why I wanted to know or what the point of explaining it was. But after we talked it over and my reasons for asking certain things, he started to understand and became very open about talking about customs. I think a lot of West Africans just aren't used to people asking questions that seem like the questioner wouldn't understand the answer to. And now, I think he really loves the fact that I want to respect and understand his culture, especially because he is so proud of being African. Keep trying to ask questions because I'm sure he will eventually really appreciate you trying to understand his culture!!!

knw,

OMG!!! I think you really are close to what I'm feeling! Thanks so much! I think too another layer is that my fiance feels like I'm so sophisticated and classy (lol) and truly I love that! He feels like I won't like all the ceremony or I'll be bored or something. I think I'm so worried about fitting into his world at the same time he's eager to step into mine! Not to leave hisself behind cause like you said he is extremely proud African man, but I think just to incorporate some modern elements into his traditional life. Am I making sense?

[LoveNigerianStyle 0]

Mairo,

Thanks so much for your reply and for the picks!

sillygirl1962@gmail.com

I really appreciate your input.

Mairo,

OMG!!! You look stunning! So beautiful! Thanks so much for sharing! I want to look exactly like that for my wedding! Thanks again

[knt 4]

knw,

OMG!!! I think you really are close to what I'm feeling! Thanks so much! I think too another layer is that my fiance feels like I'm so sophisticated and classy (lol) and truly I love that! He feels like I won't like all the ceremony or I'll be bored or something. I think I'm so worried about fitting into his world at the same time he's eager to step into mine! Not to leave hisself behind cause like you said he is extremely proud African man, but I think just to incorporate some modern elements into his traditional life. Am I making sense?

You're making total sense!! I think its good to be worried about all this though, because it shows you care. And I think that a good balance can be found between cultures.