India census--bad and ugly news

[TBoneTX 46,348]

Are you this strange IRL?

They kicked me out of Bellevue because they said I was crazy, whee man.

[Saddle Bronc 124]

Wow, that's significant. Very sad.

Included under the "ugly news" (as per title--actually extremely ugly) category.

[_Simpson_ 250]

Two Americans! Even worse.

Well thank you Christina for doing your part in trying to make the ratio of men to woman more even. Millions of Indian men thank you.

[_Simpson_ 250]

Wow, that's significant. Very sad.

"or surviving" Yes very sad, I wonder why it is like that.

[chri'stina 190]

"or surviving" Yes very sad, I wonder why it is like that.

I'm not Indian or an expert, but from what I have learned it's due to the burden on parents who have daughters. They often have to give a "dowry" to their daughter's future groom. When a daughter is born to traditional Indians who follow the practice, they have to start thinking from when she is young about how much money they have to save to be able to afford a dowry so their daughter can be arranged to a good family. (well, "good" to me would obviously be a family who didn't demand a dowry, not one who would!!) While dowry is outlawed(for very good reasons), people still do it. Parents of potential grooms often demand for expensive gifts(vehicle, house goods, sometimes plain cash) as part of the agreement of an arranged marriage. It has happened to people in my husband's family and they complied, while some others have strongly opposed it. My husband has four sisters. Now that you know how things can happen with dowry, imagine how stressed they might have been after having 4 girls and only 1 boy. And this American girl didn't even give them a dowry. Now all their daughters have gotten married, and I know for a fact one of them was a more pricey arrangement, unfortunately.(I hope if I were Indian, they wouldn't have asked for a dowry from my parents, and I know my husband would have never stood for it for his own marriage.)

Edited April 4, 2011 by chri'stina

[_Simpson_ 250]

I'm not Indian or an expert, but from what I have learned it's due to the burden on parents who have daughters. They often have to give a "dowry" to their daughter's future groom. When a daughter is born to traditional Indians who follow the practice, they have to start thinking from when she is young about how much money they have to save to be able to afford a dowry so their daughter can be arranged to a good family. (well, "good" to me would obviously be a family who didn't demand a dowry, not one who would!!) While dowry is outlawed(for very good reasons), people still do it. Parents of potential grooms often demand for expensive gifts(vehicle, house goods, sometimes plain cash) as part of the agreement of an arranged marriage. It has happened to people in my husband's family and they complied, while some others have strongly opposed it. My husband has four sisters. Now that you know how things can happen with dowry, imagine how stressed they might have been after having 4 girls and only 1 boy. And this American girl didn't even give them a dowry. Now all their daughters have gotten married, and I know for a fact one of them was a more pricey arrangement, unfortunately.(I hope if I were Indian, they wouldn't have asked for a dowry from my parents, and I know my husband would have never stood for it for his own marriage.)

So that would suggest that if it is partly due to dowry that some female Indian babies are killed. Similar things have taken place here in the states with teenagers who get pregnant and dont know how to tell their parents or how their going to afford it.

[SMR 368]

Cultural traditions die hard, of course, but supply and demand would suggest that dowries should soon be a thing of the past. When there are several perfectly fine young men for every young woman, it's odd that the groom's family should expect to get goods or money out of the deal. Obviously, everyone will have his or her preferences, but a groom who isn't willing to accept a wife without a dowry or at least a small one will probably be a very old bachelor.

Given the nature of human reproduction, I still don't quite understand cultures in which the bride and her family are expected to bear most of the financial burden of the new family. Biologically, the bride is bringing more to the table already.

[chri'stina 190]

Cultural traditions die hard, of course, but supply and demand would suggest that dowries should soon be a thing of the past. When there are several perfectly fine young men for every young woman, it's odd that the groom's family should expect to get goods or money out of the deal. Obviously, everyone will have his or her preferences, but a groom who isn't willing to accept a wife without a dowry or at least a small one will probably be a very old bachelor.

Given the nature of human reproduction, I still don't quite understand cultures in which the bride and her family are expected to bear most of the financial burden of the new family. Biologically, the bride is bringing more to the table already.

Those who care about dowry also seem to care about caste and the groom's/bride's family's reputation. It'd be interesting to see a caste break down of male/female ratios. Caste is also not supposed to be cared about in India anymore either. Yeah right. Being a perfectly fine young man is not the only criteria looked at during marriage arrangements. It'd be nice if this dowry from bride tradition dies. It will take a long time IMO since it's been going on for a very long time. It will die in the large metros first I am sure, and very last in the rural villages. That's *if* it ever dies out. It's wrapped very deeply into the religion and culture for some. It's not just a simple tradition.

[Saddle Bronc 124]

So that would suggest that if it is partly due to dowry that some female Indian babies are killed.

Eh, you've missed the analyses done many times in media (including Indian) on this issue--not "partly", just about cent-percent!

Similar things have taken place here in the states with teenagers who get pregnant and dont know how to tell their parents or how their going to afford it.

Not even the same page--heck, not even the same volume.