Get a Grip!

[TBoneTX 45,324]

Our role model should be (and is, simply by strength of character), the VJ member by the name of sara..... (with the dots). She filed, and waited and waited and waited and waited. She tried Congressional help, legal help, all kinds of other help. Over a 2-year period, I believe it was, all of her contemporaries got their NOA2s, but she was passed by. Sara never complained, yet always posted a note of congratulations, without any hint of self-pity.

USCIS finally found the I-129F application, and everybody on VJ was ecstatic. However, the 2 years was too long, and the relationship failed to survive (his decision, not hers). Although her heart was certainly broken, she gutted it up and has remained the very sweetest and classiest of acts.

Sara is still around on VJ. Next time we're consumed by impatience or self-pity, let's think of her, and strive to emulate her.

Edited March 27, 2011 by TBoneTX

[Rebecca Jo 1,962]

What has happened to Al422?

I'm thinking they split up.

[MatthewNCarolina 73]

Hello all... just going to give my two cents now, whether it's wanted or not. Look, I am not far into the journey, have been away from my beautiful lady for almost 3 months. Planning to go to her again soon. Anyway, I've posted during times of frustration/panic, etc. I've gotten many many responses. I've had some of those "ignorant" replies, some very helpful advice, etc. and etc. Everyone has different reactions to what they read. People make assumptions of a person from text. This is what's hard about reading things that are typed. Personally, I can't get bothered by people posting replies that seem ignorant, etc.

I never assumed everyone was very nice, polite, etc. It's the nature of people. The ones who have replied and left thinking they got under my skin, they absolutely did not. Take things with a grain of salt. If it's something friendly, well... it's hard to misinterpret that. I want absolutely any reply I can get. The more, the better. Truth will come even in an ignorant post. You sometimes get an answer from a rude person. I really can say that I feel for everyone here. And as others have posted, it truly is GREAT to think of all the bonuses to this process/being apart.

I don't take my fiancee for granted at all. I love her, miss her terribly. It reminds you that this person could leave your life, whether it's unintentional, or due to loss of communication. It's just like they say "you have to work on a relationship". When you realize that, you know what it takes. Some days it's all ONE partner, keeping things alive because the other is hurting very much. I don't take my eyes off the most important thing, and that's her. I think about this process 24/7 and read posts here constantly, every day.

Still, when it comes back to the small moments on skype when we're both only viewing each other/smiling, being intimate, it all goes away while I'm feeling her love and expressing mine. No matter what life throws at you, what things bother you... just try to focus on the very thing in front of you. In the end of the day, it all comes down to YOU and your loved one. And if there's truly A$#holes on this site, who love to prey on the new people--->F#&* them. period. Don't lose your character because somebody wants to eat at it. This is a very hard thing... focus, relax, pay the most attention to your best interests.

Wish others luck, I do too. All of you are stand-up people for doing everything you can to be together. Stay unique

[TBoneTX 45,324]

What has happened to Al422?

I was wondering the same. He was last active on March 10.

I'm thinking they split up.

My thought was that he blew a gasket, medically.

[wendie and sam 4]

I was wondering the same. He was last active on March 10.My thought was that he blew a gasket, medically.

All I have to say to these two is... LOL.

[BrandonandKhandaa 1]

I say we help each other out no matter what stage we are in. I need encouragement. That's why I'm here, and so does someone who just filed or someone after that. If I've ever seemed rude to anyone, I'm sorry. I'll admit, I come on this site usually when I'm most frustrated. I'm glad that my waiting period doesn't seem to be the norm, and I'm glad other people can have someone worse off than they are to make themselves feel better. I'm being serious. I'm sure I'd feel better if I knew more people with longer waiting periods than myself. I also consider myself someone who can offer some realistic expectations as to what you MIGHT have to go through, and I'm sure that I'll help encourage people when I'm through it all.

Peace.

[FawkThisSite 13]

Why are you asking about a poster that did nothing but cause trouble on here. Good riddance.

[dogspot 90]

What has happened to Al422?

I've been wondering the same thing the past couple weeks. He probably drove himself and his lady nuts. As much "venting" as he did around here, one can only imagine how much he did via skype with his lady. I certainly hope everything is ok with him/her.

Edited March 28, 2011 by dogspot

[B_J 2,752]

I certainly hope everything is ok with him/her.

Agreed. I hope everybody feels the same way. We should all hope everybody's relationship works out and makes it through the stress of this process.

[kristen_maroc 126]

I think that there is a difference:

- People who haven't hit the 5-6 month and complain that they don't have a NOA2 yet.

- People who haven't hit the 5-6 month mark and complain that the process is slow, USCIS should have more resources and be able to go faster, and don't like the waiting.

The first is a bit unrealistic.

The second is people venting to people who "get it" because they are going through or have gone through similar things.

I don't care if you filed a week ago, if you are complaining about the first scenario it's annoying, the second is completely understandable.

[B_J 2,752]

I think that there is a difference:

- People who haven't hit the 5-6 month and complain that they don't have a NOA2 yet.

- People who haven't hit the 5-6 month mark and complain that the process is slow, USCIS should have more resources and be able to go faster, and don't like the waiting.

The first is a bit unrealistic.

The second is people venting to people who "get it" because they are going through or have gone through similar things.

I don't care if you filed a week ago, if you are complaining about the first scenario it's annoying, the second is completely understandable.

But no matter how annoying you find somebody on the internet; I hope we still wish them well in their relationship.

[kristen_maroc 126]

But no matter how annoying you find somebody on the internet; I hope we still wish them well in their relationship.

Absolutely! I mean, honestly, if I find something annoying on the internet, I keep scrolling. Most of the time, at least.

We are all in this together, in one way. It sucks that whoever allocates resources to USCIS has underfunded them and caused the back-up. It sucks that we live in a country that is in massive debts and has to have budget cuts. But it's just the way it is. I'm excited at the idea of bringing my fiance over, am grateful that I have the opportunity to do so and even have him eventually become a citizen if all goes well, and sincerely wish everyone the best of luck.

I think it's one of those moments where I think about the serenity prayer: God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.

[B_J 2,752]

Absolutely! I mean, honestly, if I find something annoying on the internet, I keep scrolling. Most of the time, at least.

We are all in this together, in one way. It sucks that whoever allocates resources to USCIS has underfunded them and caused the back-up. It sucks that we live in a country that is in massive debts and has to have budget cuts. But it's just the way it is. I'm excited at the idea of bringing my fiance over, am grateful that I have the opportunity to do so and even have him eventually become a citizen if all goes well, and sincerely wish everyone the best of luck.

I think it's one of those moments where I think about the serenity prayer: God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.

Great post and you have such a great attitude. And I like what you said about we're all in this together. Honestly, the only people who understand what this is like are the people on here who are going through the same thing. I can't imagine what it would be like to go through this process without this site; both for the information and for the understanding of the others who are here.

[Rebecca Jo 1,962]

But no matter how annoying you find somebody on the internet; I hope we still wish them well in their relationship.

I certainly wasn't wishing Al422 any ill.

It was easy to tell from his last few posts that he was about ready to pop. I don't see how his relationship could survive that kind of self imposed stress. And it didn't matter how much support he got. He didn't want it.

You can't help somebody like that.