CO not convinced of genuine relationship

[RICARDO4EVA2 194]

[quote name=Matt ' timestamp='1301073826' post='4564841]

At least odds are you will not get same interviewer at second interview!

know what.. odds are.. the same interviewer might be the one who conducts the interview since he/she is familiar with the case - maybe. The the consulate may have 1 or 2 people doing interviews.

[LIFE'SJOURNEY 970]

What you are saying is HISTORY! OP needs help on how to fix their current problem. She can't change the past!!!

Knowing what mistakes that were made in the past is how you fix the future.

Sorry I hit the 1 button by mistake, it should have been -1 one.

My questions are for the OP to think about what was done in the past and how it was handled so she can correct them for a better result in the future.

I know many here on VJ thinks that there is only one way to do things and it's their way, but sometimes an individual who has no vested interest in something can see potential issues that they may have over-looked. The OP can take my questions, read them and throw them in the trash if she is of the same mind set as you. That is fine, but at least she heard it and read someone elses point of view before she decides which avenue she will take.

Edited March 25, 2011 by LIFE'SJOURNEY

[san diego 407]

I think showing good financial standings on your side may help. This will at least show that you are not doing it to for financial reasons. In fca

[Zee Bee 61]

Ok, since most of the responses you have received have been from a male prospective, I will give you a female prospective,

This is your timeline:

Met September 4, 2009: How did you'll meet? via online, or in person?

Friendship led to love...

Trip to Cyprus February 18, 2010- Took one trip to Cyprus...how long was this trip?

Petition send July 6 2010 Then 4 months later you file for a K1... have you been back to Cyprus and for how long were each visits. What investment have you'll put into this relationship beside phone calls?

This is not about age, it's about what have you'll invested in the relationship, it not all about money, have you'll talked about the future, and what's in store for both of you?

The problem is how well did he answer all of the questions and did he have confidence in answering them. Did he look the CO in the eye and did he look away when he was trying to explain his answers.

Female perspective here.

At this point I think its important for the OP to be there for the second interview.

Unfortunately age can be a big factor and in this case I think it is. For whatever reason, despite the evidence presented the CO wanted more. It sucks big time, but going over what happened before is not relevant; length of previous trips and whether they met online or in person is not going to help now because you can't change that. What they need to do now is build up more evidence between now and when they schedule the second interview so that they can present it.

I think showing good financial standings on your side may help. This will at least show that you are not doing it to for financial reasons. In fca

Not sure how this is supposed to help. Can you elaborate?

[LIFE'SJOURNEY 970]

Female perspective here.

At this point I think its important for the OP to be there for the second interview.

Unfortunately age can be a big factor and in this case I think it is. For whatever reason, despite the evidence presented the CO wanted more. It sucks big time, but going over what happened before is not relevant; length of previous trips and whether they met online or in person is not going to help now because you can't change that. What they need to do now is build up more evidence between now and when they schedule the second interview so that they can present it.

You may not think it is irrelevant, but if the OP could fix or modify some of these actions or issues that I have highlighted between the time of the next visit it might prove to gain them a better result in the end. Why is it that everyone thinks only their answer is the correct one?

Not sure how this is supposed to help. Can you elaborate?

[Boiler 45,402]

There is mention of a 29 year age difference, but not who is older. Funny how people jump to the conclusion that the the USC female is the older.

Age may have been a factor, but difficult to comment with so little data.

[Zee Bee 61]

Life'sjourney, I was not disagreeing with you. I was saying that some things cannot be changed at this point and not worth worrying about. She needs to focus on what she can do now to improve the outcome of the second interview.

[rika60607 215]

OP,

how did you meet?

how many times have you visited? for how long?

if I was a CO and I saw 29 years difference and heard that you met on the I-net and decided to get married after one meeting (say a week long)... I'd say convince me! too.

It is very very good that you did not get denied. It means you can fly over to Cyprus for a couple of weeks and request another interview with both of you present while you are there. The CO may not want to have an interview... but that would give her a sense that you are serious and are not going to give up.

[Brother Hesekiel 2,236]

I don't know you, and I don't know your age nor your spouse's age. But 29 years is a big one.

People marry for various reasons: for love, for lust, for money, for companionship, for immigration benefits. A talk show host here in Southern California, Tom Leykis, once said: girls want to get the wealthiest guy they can attract, whereas guys want to get the hottest girl they can afford. Sounds brutal but fits in most cases.

When young blond bombshell Anna Nicole Smith married her old billionaire husband J. Howard Marshall, few people believed it was based on genuine "love" (whatever that means), but for financial reasons. The heirs fought this beyond the death of both.

When the late Elizabeth Taylor married her much younger husband Larry Fortensky, again few people assumed that his motives were not genuine, but based on ulterior motives.

Hence, a large age difference is not dependent on the gender, but works both ways.

Hence, I personally don't blame an O.P. requiring a couple with a 29-year age difference to convince him or her that the relationship is genuine.

Will it be easy? I don't think so, but it comes with the territory.

[san diego 407]

Not sure how this is supposed to help. Can you elaborate?

I am just saying form common sense (without actual knowledge). There is a good fraction of denied visas are due to the visa fraud. In this case good portion of fraudulent applications are where beneficiary from another country is paying to the petitioner. Showing high income would eliminate this possibility. Who would want to get themselves into 3-5 years ordeal just because of several thousand dollars, if they already have 6-digit income? This is just my suspicion. This would at least prove that there are no financial transactions taking place.

[Gosha.Bee 1]

I also agree flying over there might be very helpful in this case.

What I don't understand is why you can't just refile the 10 pounds of evidence you already have on your hands for them to actually READ it this time. Did she not want to look at it because she immediately assumed it would be useless to her? Does that mean you can't rely on the data you already have accumulated?

One more possibility, and I've seen them here on VJ - get married and file for CR1. Although I'm sure this is your last resort as this would delay your process by a year probably.

Good luck to you. I will keep my fingers crossed, sincerely. My husband (petitioner) is 10 years older than me and it's also something I'm worried about.

[rika60607 215]

CO probably did not want to look at the 10 lb of evidence because chats and call records prove that they are in daily communication, but not that they both have "proper" intentions. She wants something more solid to outweight the age factor.

I also agree flying over there might be very helpful in this case.

What I don't understand is why you can't just refile the 10 pounds of evidence you already have on your hands for them to actually READ it this time. Did she not want to look at it because she immediately assumed it would be useless to her? Does that mean you can't rely on the data you already have accumulated?

...........

[Mark and Carol 4]

A 29 year age difference is alot, but there is a 23 year difference between my wife and I. It was never an issue with our case and I don't think it is an issue with your case. I think the issue is that you met Sept. 2009 and filed for K-1 in July 2010. That's only 10 months and you have visited once in 18 months. The CO looks at how much time you have invested into your relationship including how much time you have spent together. From the CO's perspective, if you have spent only one visit together, then how well do you really know each other...hence show me more proof. You can chat, talk on the phone, and send emails but the CO wants to see you spend time together. Because you really learn alot about a person by spending time together.

I think the notarized letters are an excellent idea, but you also need to plan another trip to Cyprus. You definitely need to attend the next interview. I attended my wife's interview and there were some women that were denied because their fiance did not attend. You need to prove to the CO that you have invested more time into your relationship.

Good luck and maybe you will have a different CO next time.

[Ebunoluwa 6,136]

Thanks again everyone for your input.

As per requirement we met one time in person. To me, 10 months getting to know each other as friends and progessing to love, looks better than a one month time frame to file after meeting.I do not rush into things.

Watching the post's interview pattern flow, we assumed we had a 2 week wait for an appointment and I didn't see it as necessary to spend more time there at that time after the 5 months USCIS approval. Two weeks turned into a longer time, always thinking in a few days he will have the interview date and that is one reason I did not go.

Second reason was the embassy staff telling me emphatically "NO you don't come, we need only him at the interview" she almost shouted....after I finally requested an interview date per email and on the phone and suggested I be present. He was given a date a few days later and I was unable to make it there that quick, anyway they were so harsh about the "no you don't need to come" phone call which made me confident that all would go well. Hindsight = go anyway !

What have I invested into our relationship ? It's more like what haven't I invested. Aside from thousands of dollars, umpteen hours of sleepless nights so we could communicate online and let the web cam run, even when we cooked,cleaned, he slept or whatever had to be done. It was as though we lived together with a screen as partition just to be "near" one another.

Wedding plans and future plans were discussed and documented and submitted and then the additional evidence refused. Yes, he answered well and confidently all questions.

Our case is squeaky clean and meticulous to every T crossed and i dotted and then some.

No, I don't have a 6 figure income (who here does) and bank statements would show any shady activity. Who in their right mind would do this for money ?

What money ?!

I have WU showing my support for him on occasion for Christmas/Birthday gifts, etc.

Yes, we will definitely have the same CO.

She also stated that she believed we are daily /for hours in communication on cam/chat and phone. ( Thousands of $$$$$$ for phone bills, any shady payment for this and I would be more than in the red already as it would be like a drop in the ocean).

I will take the advice of those who suggested I be present at the next interview where we will resubmit all remaining unlooked/refused evidence plus sworn affidavits from his pastors who also know me and our relationship, plus wedding ring receit he will have purchased. I do believe as one poster suggested, she is looking for "proper intend". It was there in the communications had the CO taken the time to read it.

Age difference and only one visit is I assume the issue to overcome with more proof other than online communication proof.

I won't bore you with the details of my finances and recent hardships, storm damage, Termites, current economy for my self employed business, aging mother in my home country ( am a naturalized USC ) being my sole responsibility etc. etc... of why I was torn between another visit or not. To go or not to go...that was the question, but is no longer the question.

My focus is now to try hard to scrape the funds together and be present the next time around which I expect to be withing 1-2 weeks.

Any more items I can carry as proof besides myself and those mentioned would be appreciated.

Thank you for everyones suggestions, all were greatly appreciated and mulled over.

[TBoneTX 45,090]

Your response to the input causes this reader (for one) to respect you even more than before.

The idea of going for the repeat interview is excellent. If the native consular personnel are reluctant to let you in, play the "American" card: "I'm a U.S. citizen, and this consulate is U.S. soil." However, be prepared for the possibility of a Stokes interview (separate grillings, answers compared). You may want to read the Embassy Info and Embassy Reviews for Cyprus to see whether there's a prospect of that. Nonetheless, prepare as though there will be one.

At your interview (and even as you enter the consulate, because you WILL be taped!), your body language will be crucial. If you can arrange to be in Cyprus at least a couple of days ahead of the interview, it will give you time to re-engage the "in-person" component. Also during that time, take as many photos of yourselves together as you can (in different situations and different clothing), find a place to print them out, and bring them as additional evidence.

Keep the faith, si man.

Edited March 26, 2011 by TBoneTX