Would you get your fiance pregnant before getting K1 VISA?

[garya505 2]

OK, with the K1 VISA taking sometimes a year now (or at least several months) there are probably going to be more pregnancies before couples receive their VISA. So, here's a question for you. Imagine you're the male petioner in the US and your fiance wants to get pregnant right away. She doesn't care if she has to travel to the US pregnant and doesn't even mind if the baby is born in her country before you get the VISA. She is very confident and determined and knows how to take care of herself. This is what she really wants and she is very serious.

Would you agree to that?

[Cristy 4]

No. You have NO IDEA what will happen. What if you get refused or delayed?

[knowledge 0]

OK, with the K1 VISA taking sometimes a year now (or at least several months) there are probably going to be more pregnancies before couples receive their VISA. So, here's a question for you. Imagine you're the male petioner in the US and your fiance wants to get pregnant right away. She doesn't care if she has to travel to the US pregnant and doesn't even mind if the baby is born in her country before you get the VISA. She is very confident and determined and knows how to take care of herself. This is what she really wants and she is very serious.

Would you agree to that?

Well, at the basis, first, making a baby is a personal decision, and a couple's decision, agreement!!! we do not have to agree or not..But, if you put here the question, what comes to mind first, is this: why the fiancée wants a baby now, in the middle of the process?...why is it right now?

[BelwinMills 0]

What abut K3 or CR1 and what if u are the woman here. Not everyone here SO over seas is a woman. I think it matters how long u have been together. Like us its almost 9 years but I would want a life together alone to explore the USA and enjoy our company.

[garya505 2]

No. You have NO IDEA what will happen. What if you get refused or delayed?

Well, this is a hypothetical scenario of course. Let's say in this case the denial or delay of the VISA has already been discussed many times and she always says she is in love and doesn't care if that happens.

OK, with the K1 VISA taking sometimes a year now (or at least several months) there are probably going to be more pregnancies before couples receive their VISA. So, here's a question for you. Imagine you're the male petioner in the US and your fiance wants to get pregnant right away. She doesn't care if she has to travel to the US pregnant and doesn't even mind if the baby is born in her country before you get the VISA. She is very confident and determined and knows how to take care of herself. This is what she really wants and she is very serious.

Would you agree to that?

Well, at the basis, first, making a baby is a personal decision, and a couple's decision, agreement!!! we do not have to agree or not..But, if you put here the question, what comes to mind first, is this: why the fiancée wants a baby now, in the middle of the process?...why is it right now?

Well, this is a "what if" scenario, but lets say she says she wants a baby with you ASAP, she says never mind the VISA. She says you are the man of her dreams, the one she has been looking for all her life, and she sees no reason to wait. Now, if you apply normal logic to this scenario of course everyone would say it's better to wait until after rhe VISA is granted and she is in the US, but we're talking about a woman in love so we can't expect it to make sense or be logical. She says this would really make her happy, and you love her and want her to be happy, so what would you do?

[PlatyPius 5]

No way in hell.

Of course, I'm old and selfish. I would consider it mandatory to spend at the VERY least one year together before having a kid.

1) to make sure you can LIVE together

2) to enjoy each other first

Me personally, I'd probably be frightened off if this were said to me. Being paranoid, I would start thinking that maybe it was a ready-made plan to get a person over here, have spawn as proof of validity of the marriage, then 2 years later divorce and start getting child support.

That's just paranoid ole me, though.

Edited September 4, 2006 by Cian

[Sheriff Uling 3]

No way in hell.

Of course, I'm old and selfish. I would consider it mandatory to spend at the VERY least one year together before having a kid.

1) to make sure you can LIVE together

2) to enjoy each other first

Me personally, I'd probably be frightened off if this were said to me. Being paranoid, I would start thinking that maybe it was a ready-made plan to get a person over here, have spawn as proof of validity of the marriage, then 2 years later divorce and start getting child support.

That's just paranoid ole me, though.

Cian - LOL! "I'm old and selfish." That's hilarious! Cheers!!!

garya505 - I wouldn't get my lady pregnant before the visa was complete. I'm old and selfish too... LOL! Plus, I also don't want anymore children. Cheers!!!

Edited September 4, 2006 by Uling

[PlatyPius 5]

lol

Luckily, both Sian and I are selfish. We want *US* time. No more kids. Ever.

[jezebelseven 0]

Well, this is a "what if" scenario, but lets say she says she wants a baby with you ASAP, she says never mind the VISA. She says you are the man of her dreams, the one she has been looking for all her life, and she sees no reason to wait. Now, if you apply normal logic to this scenario of course everyone would say it's better to wait until after rhe VISA is granted and she is in the US, but we're talking about a woman in love so we can't expect it to make sense or be logical. She says this would really make her happy, and you love her and want her to be happy, so what would you do?

Nevermind the visa is a silly thought. Nevermind being together to raise a child? If I'm the man of her dreams, and the one she's looked for all her life, another year or two won't kill her waiting to start our family out on the right foot. I wouldn't be marrying someone who was willing to just throw a baby into the mix like that so suddenly.

A life together is a compromise to begin with, throw another life being shared between the two of you and that makes it even more complicated.

I would tell my SO that she has to be logical and make sense, especially if she'd be talking about bringing another life into this world. I may love my SO and want to make her happy, but I'd also want to make sure my child was cared for by both of us, in a safe place together raising a family. Starting a family is a huge responcibility and with that would have to come a logical order of things and she'd have to realize that.

Also, a strong seconding of Cian's point number 1. I want to see if I can live with him for a few months just us without the stress of having a child.

[garya505 2]

No way in hell.

Of course, I'm old and selfish. I would consider it mandatory to spend at the VERY least one year together before having a kid.

1) to make sure you can LIVE together

2) to enjoy each other first

Me personally, I'd probably be frightened off if this were said to me. Being paranoid, I would start thinking that maybe it was a ready-made plan to get a person over here, have spawn as proof of validity of the marriage, then 2 years later divorce and start getting child support.

That's just paranoid ole me, though.

That's an interesting theory. Actually I personally know of one woman who did have plan similar to that, but she didn't want kids to weigh her down when she dumped the guy after two years and moved on, so she told him she wanted to wait to so they could have some time together first. A woman doesn't need kids to prove validity of the marriage. But we digress ...

[knowledge 0]

No. You have NO IDEA what will happen. What if you get refused or delayed?

Well, this is a hypothetical scenario of course. Let's say in this case the denial or delay of the VISA has already been discussed many times and she always says she is in love and doesn't care if that happens.

OK, with the K1 VISA taking sometimes a year now (or at least several months) there are probably going to be more pregnancies before couples receive their VISA. So, here's a question for you. Imagine you're the male petioner in the US and your fiance wants to get pregnant right away. She doesn't care if she has to travel to the US pregnant and doesn't even mind if the baby is born in her country before you get the VISA. She is very confident and determined and knows how to take care of herself. This is what she really wants and she is very serious.

Would you agree to that?

Well, at the basis, first, making a baby is a personal decision, and a couple's decision, agreement!!! we do not have to agree or not..But, if you put here the question, what comes to mind first, is this: why the fiancée wants a baby now, in the middle of the process?...why is it right now?

Well, this is a "what if" scenario, but lets say she says she wants a baby with you ASAP, she says never mind the VISA. She says you are the man of her dreams, the one she has been looking for all her life, and she sees no reason to wait. Now, if you apply normal logic to this scenario of course everyone would say it's better to wait until after rhe VISA is granted and she is in the US, but we're talking about a woman in love so we can't expect it to make sense or be logical. She says this would really make her happy, and you love her and want her to be happy, so what would you do?

Ok, what I would do? I would think before doing or acting!..So, what is possible to think from what you asked here...First, the "I" is the hypothetical husband right?...I notice that the OP and after, only reflects the hypothetical's futur mother, and nowhere i see the father included in the decision. It's like the man is asked to do what the woman wants...I am quite sensitive to the fact that nowdays man are often not included in the mother/child fusionned relationship...which makes me sad, because for the futur of the child, a father is nowdays very important. If the father/futur father is ok with the woman's request, then there is no problem. If the man feels something is not quite clear, then, more talking might be useful. In her request, maybe some differentiation might also be useful to think about, for example: making the difference between desire and need...On the other hand, a woman's desire or need of making a baby is a sensitive spot also...If she says, as you put it more than once that she does not care about the conditions of making a baby, i would want to know more, for example..what about the fact that having a baby is a big responsability, including the financial and emotional levels...this takes strong people, couple to do so...Because in the long run, if a mother is worried, the baby will be so also. ..I don't know her character..is she the type of lady who worries...if not, well that's an encouraging thing...And what about the gentleman, does he feel the same as the lady, i.e having a baby right away? If so, then i do not see a problem...only when there are some doubts...even the slimmer doubt, then that's sign more talking might help...Finally, i would worry more of the futur father's state of mind...ready or not for this adventure...having a baby, in any type of situation has to be a wonderful experience, not a painful one...and also thinking of the baby's interests, the most important!...Hope it helps!!!

[Chris-n-Veronica 0]

We thought about it...but there isn't any advantage I can see... So why not spend a year or two together..learning about each other first...take your time...enjoy life... My first marriage we did that to be able to get married..17 and 16 and our marriage fell apart after the kids left...thats all we knew raising kids..Vacations far in between..work..work..work... Killed the marriage.. So enjoy life for awhile first!!

I will admit we have picked out a name.. whether it's a girl or boy.. and also the good thing is Veronica is serious about only one child.. Who I'm I to argue..

No. You have NO IDEA what will happen. What if you get refused or delayed?

Well, this is a hypothetical scenario of course. Let's say in this case the denial or delay of the VISA has already been discussed many times and she always says she is in love and doesn't care if that happens.

OK, with the K1 VISA taking sometimes a year now (or at least several months) there are probably going to be more pregnancies before couples receive their VISA. So, here's a question for you. Imagine you're the male petioner in the US and your fiance wants to get pregnant right away. She doesn't care if she has to travel to the US pregnant and doesn't even mind if the baby is born in her country before you get the VISA. She is very confident and determined and knows how to take care of herself. This is what she really wants and she is very serious.

Would you agree to that?

Well, at the basis, first, making a baby is a personal decision, and a couple's decision, agreement!!! we do not have to agree or not..But, if you put here the question, what comes to mind first, is this: why the fiancée wants a baby now, in the middle of the process?...why is it right now?

Well, this is a "what if" scenario, but lets say she says she wants a baby with you ASAP, she says never mind the VISA. She says you are the man of her dreams, the one she has been looking for all her life, and she sees no reason to wait. Now, if you apply normal logic to this scenario of course everyone would say it's better to wait until after rhe VISA is granted and she is in the US, but we're talking about a woman in love so we can't expect it to make sense or be logical. She says this would really make her happy, and you love her and want her to be happy, so what would you do?

Ok, what I would do? I would think before doing or acting!..So, what is possible to think from what you asked here...First, the "I" is the hypothetical husband right?...I notice that the OP and after, only reflects the hypothetical's futur mother, and nowhere i see the father included in the decision. It's like the man is asked to do what the woman wants...I am quite sensitive to the fact that nowdays man are often not included in the mother/child fusionned relationship...which makes me sad, because for the futur of the child, a father is nowdays very important. If the father/futur father is ok with the woman's request, then there is no problem. If the man feels something is not quite clear, then, more talking might be useful. In her request, maybe some differentiation might also be useful to think about, for example: making the difference between desire and need...On the other hand, a woman's desire or need of making a baby is a sensitive spot also...If she says, as you put it more than once that she does not care about the conditions of making a baby, i would want to know more, for example..what about the fact that having a baby is a big responsability, including the financial and emotional levels...this takes strong people, couple to do so...Because in the long run, if a mother is worried, the baby will be so also. ..I don't know her character..is she the type of lady who worries...if not, well that's an encouraging thing...And what about the gentleman, does he feel the same as the lady, i.e having a baby right away? If so, then i do not see a problem...only when there are some doubts...even the slimmer doubt, then that's sign more talking might help...Finally, i would worry more of the futur father's state of mind...ready or not for this adventure...having a baby, in any type of situation has to be a wonderful experience, not a painful one...and also thinking of the baby's interests, the most important!...Hope it helps!!!

[tmma 467]

OK, with the K1 VISA taking sometimes a year now (or at least several months) there are probably going to be more pregnancies before couples receive their VISA. So, here's a question for you. Imagine you're the male petioner in the US and your fiance wants to get pregnant right away. She doesn't care if she has to travel to the US pregnant and doesn't even mind if the baby is born in her country before you get the VISA. She is very confident and determined and knows how to take care of herself. This is what she really wants and she is very serious.

Would you agree to that?

NO!

" She doesn't care if she has to travel to the USA pregnant"??????..... Flying whilst pregnant is mostly safe-but it's an incredible strain on your body under normal circumstances, so there is, at least, some risk to flying whilst pregnant, to both to mother and child. If I was a man and the woman said to me " I don't care about flying whilst I am pregnant..." It would cause me to think about the reasons behind the impatience to get pregnant; as such a cavalier attitude about such a huge responsibility as children would certainly cause me to at least stop and think.........

Having the baby in the foreign country before the visa is issued only adds complications to an already stressful situation! YOUR child will have dual nationality-it's another visa to apply for-hurdles to jump through and all because she can't wait alittle longer?Plus, depending on what country she is from who is to say YOUR child and SO will be receiving the best possible care?

It's irresponsible to play such an impatient, ill-planned game of " fast and loose" pregnancies/child birth-- when so many visa variables are involved.

So my response would be NO-WAIT!!!!!!

Edited September 4, 2006 by tmma

[blackpanther 0]

So you have a healthy relationship and you have a married relationship and one of the first important questions that couples face is the question of whether, when, and how to get pregnant or not get pregnant. One of the important topics that I think is important for couples to talk about even before marriage, but also definitely right after getting married is the question of birth control.

A few other things to think about before you get pregnant. One is just optimizing your own health, specifically diet and exercise. We can't deny the fact that this immigration process is a very stressful one. I and my fiancee already discussed about this matter. It would be very interesting to start our lives together as a couple first. Have a lot of time to work for the foundation of our future family.Being on K1 process is not a good idea to bear a child. IT WOULD ONLY COMPLICATE THE WHOLE DARN PROCESS.So no,I going to take a right timing to discuss to her that the idea isn't good. That we should look out for our babies health. A woman should remember that stress could cause a babies hormonal embalance.

But if ever I'd left some seeds before I come back here. I'd gladly accept the fact and be called DADDY.

[garya505 2]

Ah, some very interesting thoughts here. So this is what happens when we try to mix reason and love?