My fiancee is moody

[Romancita 3]

thank you guys for advice, i talk him and he is asking for forgiveness not to do that again, i tell him, im going home when he do it again, i didnt give him another chance, and now i think he is sincere, i saw him crying feel sorry for what he done, well i have softhearted too so i give him another chance. im thinking all the advice that all vj members given me, im very much thankful, i will still update here, i need to end of this topic now. again thank you vj member, Im proud to be a member of this site:)

RUN!!!! HE WILL NEVER CHANGE!

[LoveNigarmostyle 164]

If it is this difficult now before marriage,I would say you are looking at all the signs which are saying run like hell from this situation and this man. Time or you will not repair the damages in him, only he can with professional help. Everyone deserves to be happy and fulfill their dreams..you are headed to a nightmare. I will pray for your well being and for you to make the right choice.

Good luck!

[seaborn 1]

I hope his name isn't Chris Brown, and kicking glass out of windows in time square. This is a bad sign, and he sounds like he has anger management issues.

BIG RED FLAG!!!!Get out while you can.....And No!! American men should not treat any women like that. However, I see it in the court room everyday.

be careful and good luck.

[MrsRJIB 0]

No-brainer. LEAVE.

[Dan and Judy 614]

thank you guys for advice, i talk him and he is asking for forgiveness not to do that again, i tell him, im going home when he do it again, i didnt give him another chance, and now i think he is sincere, i saw him crying feel sorry for what he done, well i have softhearted too so i give him another chance. im thinking all the advice that all vj members given me, im very much thankful, i will still update here, i need to end of this topic now. again thank you vj member, Im proud to be a member of this site:)

I'm not positive how it works, but the if the original poster (thats you) requests that the thread be closed the administrators will close it so no one else can post.. nobody will be mad if you do that.

just make one more post saying please close this thread

[D.McQueen 1]

Hello,

Unfortunately I am not the one to help you make the decision but what I will recommend is possibly talking with him and figuring out what's really going on. Also, if you have any doubt now is the time because this is not an easy process to go through only to find out the person you grew to love is no that person sitting in your house vis versa. Maybe postponing the wedding for a few months so that you can get a clearer picture of what's really going on.

Best of Luck, I am sure you will make the right decision for "YOU"!

[pglovesmc 1]

DONT WALK BUT RUN REALLY FAST. THIS IS NOT NORMAL.

[AL+ ALENA FOREVER 1]

I understand that going back home is not what to do but you need to cut your loses and regroup your life. As many people have said.... - This behavior will only get worst not better- Marriage will not fix the problem- Having kids will not fix the problem.

This is the biggest problem with a long distance relationship you cannot see the person day in and day out to be able to notice this behavior before you make the commitment to marry. Everyone can be nice for a short time - It is the behavior on day to day life that we take a leap of faith with when we are in a long distance relationship. We just cannot get the feel of how the future wife or husband lives their life's day in and day out. Do they wake up smile or are they grumpy - Will you receive flowers just because or only when it is expected. If they have a bad day at work does that mean you will have a bad night?

Yes being a man I agree that the details of a wedding is not the top of my priority list but this does not give him the right to treat you less then a QUEEN. If he does not feel you are the QUEEN of his world then as hard as it will be go back to square 1 and start the process of looking for a life partner over. You deserve better that what you are getting now from this man and it will not get any better.

I may be biased in saying this but not all American men a A'oles - You will have to rebuild your life but that will be easier then living in fear all your life.

Please return home while you are still in status - Look at this as a leaning experience - You can consider yourself lucky that you found out that he is not for you before you married him.

He does not deserve you - GOOD LUCK in whatever you decide to do.

[davjoh1 0]

He sounds like bad news. Your probably asking for a miserable life if you marry him.

I dont know how to say, but i need advice, what is my fiancee very moody and sometimes he is shouting at me even when im talking in a nice way, my fiancee when he is pissed, he is throwing something, he didnt hurt me physicall but sometimes i feel scared. i dont know if im going to marry this kind of guy or be patient. our wedding is set already but i didnt feel he is happy with it. my new friends trying to help me for my wedding and but my fiancee didnt care, he always complaining if im asking i need to help a friend for our wedding because its our wedding anyways, my news friend here just helping us. one time, my friend call me if i like to saw my wedding invitation and asking my fiancee to drive me to that place he is shouting at me and he is going to broke the remote control and when he didnt broke it he throw it in the table. everytime he is mad he is arguing me with a loud voice and i feel crying everytime he is shouting at me, its normal to american guys to shout a fiancee, and didnt care about bridal shower? need advice pls..

[S_AL_ 1]

IF he really is sorry and can recognize how unacceptable his behavior was he will agree to getting into an anger management program where you live. If you are going to give him another chance PLEASE insist that he do this! He may truly want to change but old habits die hard. He would be a very rare person if he was able to just suddenly stop this pattern of behavior on his own that has probably always been there. With professional help and a lot of effort on his part change is possible. He owes you this if you are willing to give him another chance.

I completely agree. Dependent women are easy target for abuse. From your writing Sad Woman you seem like a nice likable person. He might be apologizing to you just to make you stay (it is a rather common behavior with abusive men), perhaps he might wait till you guys are married and then all hell will get lose (I really hope and pray that doesn't happen) but you have to safe and think about yourself before anyone else. At this point its only verbal abuse. This could easily turn into physical abuse and even if it comes to that at some point in your relationship, he'd use the same tactic he used just now, apologize and get you back. Don't be fooled, be very very cautious. Also if you want to see if he has really changed, make him angry and see how he acts then. I do hope things change and work out for you both but the way you've described it, it only gets worse unless they get professional help. Do not accept the abuse in any form. Be assertive and bold. You have a whole life ahead of you and it would hurt us all much to see you or anyone like you suffer. Be strong and cautious. Do not tolerate him an inch because it starts off as slow mild abuse and turns into chronic physical and emotional abuse.

[graceroxas 17]

thank you guys for advice, i talk him and he is asking for forgiveness not to do that again, i tell him, im going home when he do it again, i didnt give him another chance, and now i think he is sincere, i saw him crying feel sorry for what he done, well i have softhearted too so i give him another chance. im thinking all the advice that all vj members given me, im very much thankful, i will still update here, i need to end of this topic now. again thank you vj member, Im proud to be a member of this site:)

Good for you. I wouldn't presume to know what's going on with him and you so I wouldn't be so hasty in my judgment. I don't know you. I don't know him.

He sounds troubled though. Have you ever tried asking him if he's particularly stressed out by anything at the moment? Tried digging deeper and transcending your victim drama with him of late?

It's not just about telling him how you feel and being handy with forgiveness. Maybe the situation demands more from you.There IS a middle ground between flight and fight.Try empathy and a little more selflessness.

I am assuming of course that this person is important enough to you that you are contemplating spending the rest of your life with him.Otherwise, take the advice of the majority here. Don't bother. Just pack up and run.

Grace

[phillip watkins 1]

Please leave it hurts me reading about it! a man like that does not need to be with a woman that is liek you runand fast. he will get worst he WILL go home and find the right man that has Jesus as the center of his life good luck

[GirlWithAGerman 0]

Verbal abuse leads to physical abuse often. If you send me a message and tell me where you are located I might be able to find some kind of shelter or people that can help you get out of that situation before it gets any worse! No one deserves that kind of treatment. I don't know you, but I'm worried for you... And I hope you make the right decision for yourself, your safety and your well being.

[Astig11 1]

Think of it in a million times...

[Mizzou_82 0]

thank you all vj members, i know all of you are just concerned about me and i really appreciate it, i think he didnt hurt physically, its just he didnt control his anger for a reason and i found it when he saw me to staring my travel bag. well i have alots of same nationality here in my place, and i know where im going to call once he hurt me physically, he said he never do anything to put him in a jail, so atleast he knows where he is going when he hurt me:), i give him another chance in despite of i cared and love him. Again, thank you to all for giving me advices here in VJ, its my first time to post here. i just want to share what i feel that time. thank you so much all vj member, Im happy no matter what all the vj member are here to listen and to give advices to everyone.