Sad story

[driven 0]

Hello There,

Here's my sad story. I was an overstay on a B2 visa for 4 years, when I met the girl whom I married in 2010 april. Everything went fine, I finally got my greencard this January. We rented our on apartment, worked and everything seemed just fine.

Then I made a decision to go travel back to my native country, because I owned a condo there and I wanted to go ahead and sell it, so we can go ahead and invest it, start our life in the US. It took me 3 weeks to get all the paperwork and everything else in order (European bureaucracy…), so I was away for almost 4 weeks.

And here goes the sad part. As soon as I got home, I knew something wasn't right… And I was right. My wife stood up and sad, "I'm 4 weeks pregnant". I didn't do I wanted to start laugh or cry, but wait… We hadn't been together for 6 weeks, and before that too I used protection (she can't take pills for medical reasons). And yes, she admitted, that she had an affair with a mexican guy, and it had been going on for 2 months.

I still couldn't talk, because of the shock I was in…And when I thought it couldn't get any worse, it did. She shaid, she is not going to abort the baby, she's gonna raise him/her, and love him/her, no matter what. I totally broke down, and I told her, that I couldn't go on with our marriage like this…I just can't…I was sad, and furious at the same time and I told her I want a divorce, I can't do this…I can't raise somebody else's child, plus the cheating, I just can't handle it…just too much. I moved out last week and now I'm staying with my parents in a different state and trying to find a job, so I don't live up all the money that I sold my place for in my country.

I defienetly want a divorce, and here comes the question.

Am I gonna be able too remove the conditions in 2012 with my own? We haven't started the legal separation process yet.

I sold everything I had in my native country, my whole family is here (they're all either USC's or LPR's).

What should I do? I'm gonna make an appointment with a lawyer this week to ask for professional help, but in the meantime, just wanted to get your opinion here, because I don't want to start a whole new life in my country.

Thank you for your kind responses.

PS: Please don't even try to talk mi into couple's therapy and stuff like that, because I'm committed for the divorce, I just can't do this marriage like this, there's no trust plus a little mexican baby…Can't do it.

[patient2010 93]

sorry you are going through all that and Welcome to VJ........

[Krikit 1,165]

Moving from ROC to Effects of Major Changes.

[TracyTN 237]

http://www.visajourney.com/content/family-status-immigration-d

[Mike&Cherry 45]

Wow, what a horrible situation to be in. So devistating. You should try to correcspond with her somehow through email getting her to admit some of this stuff in writing for when you go for your 10 year greencard. Keep as many documents and evidence as possible. When you remove your conditions you need to prove you entered your marriage in good faith in order to remain in the US. When you get a divorce try to have all of this documented offically. Once again save everything you can as proof for your future dealings with immigration. Sorry to hear this has happened to you. Stay strong because that's all you can do.

[Deputy Purple 1,294]

Get divorced, most states will require proof that the child isn't yours in order to not hit you up for child support. This is a good thing as the court records (which will include the paternity test results) will support your contention that you left the marriage due to her extra-marital affair.

Once the divorce is final (or you hit the 90 day filing window if the divorce isn't final yet) you can file on your own. You will just need to show that the marriage was entered into in good faith. This is accomplished by showing you co-mingled your lives & finances and you cohabitated..

[Myopia 93]

Hello There,

Here's my sad story. I was an overstay on a B2 visa for 4 years, when I met the girl whom I married in 2010 april. Everything went fine, I finally got my greencard this January. We rented our on apartment, worked and everything seemed just fine.

Then I made a decision to go travel back to my native country, because I owned a condo there and I wanted to go ahead and sell it, so we can go ahead and invest it, start our life in the US. It took me 3 weeks to get all the paperwork and everything else in order (European bureaucracy…), so I was away for almost 4 weeks.

And here goes the sad part. As soon as I got home, I knew something wasn't right… And I was right. My wife stood up and sad, "I'm 4 weeks pregnant". I didn't do I wanted to start laugh or cry, but wait… We hadn't been together for 6 weeks, and before that too I used protection (she can't take pills for medical reasons). And yes, she admitted, that she had an affair with a mexican guy, and it had been going on for 2 months.

I still couldn't talk, because of the shock I was in…And when I thought it couldn't get any worse, it did. She shaid, she is not going to abort the baby, she's gonna raise him/her, and love him/her, no matter what. I totally broke down, and I told her, that I couldn't go on with our marriage like this…I just can't…I was sad, and furious at the same time and I told her I want a divorce, I can't do this…I can't raise somebody else's child, plus the cheating, I just can't handle it…just too much. I moved out last week and now I'm staying with my parents in a different state and trying to find a job, so I don't live up all the money that I sold my place for in my country.

I defienetly want a divorce, and here comes the question.

Am I gonna be able too remove the conditions in 2012 with my own? We haven't started the legal separation process yet.

I sold everything I had in my native country, my whole family is here (they're all either USC's or LPR's).

What should I do? I'm gonna make an appointment with a lawyer this week to ask for professional help, but in the meantime, just wanted to get your opinion here, because I don't want to start a whole new life in my country.

Thank you for your kind responses.

PS: Please don't even try to talk mi into couple's therapy and stuff like that, because I'm committed for the divorce, I just can't do this marriage like this, there's no trust plus a little mexican baby…Can't do it.

Sounds more like a fable than a story. Sorry to hear that your wife cheated on you like this and got pregnant to boot.

If she is 4 weeks pregnant that means she has just missed her period. How are you so sure that the baby is not yours?

Theres nothing wrong with little mexican babies. I have a little puerto rican one and trust me they are cute as buttons. Little brown skin and all.

Ok ok. This whole post sounds like a testing the water to see if this sounds right post.

(Sorry Mods..I had to say it..)

Bottom line. You will be free to live your life with your entire USC/LPR family after this terrible event.

Oh and yea, you will be able to remove conditions alone as long as you can prove a bonafide marriage.

Edited March 22, 2011 by Myopia

[driven 0]

Sounds more like a fable than a story. Sorry to hear that your wife cheated on you like this and got pregnant to boot.

If she is 4 weeks pregnant that means she has just missed her period. How are you so sure that the baby is not yours?

Theres nothing wrong with little mexican babies. I have a little puerto rican one and trust me they are cute as buttons. Little brown skin and all.

Ok ok. This whole post sounds like a testing the water to see if this sounds right post.

(Sorry Mods..I had to say it..)

Bottom line. You will be free to live your life with your entire USC/LPR family after this terrible event.

Oh and yea, you will be able to remove conditions alone as long as you can prove a bonafide marriage.

Well, first of all, I wouldn't care about the darker skin, and I'm sure that the baby will be awesome and cute, but that's not the point. The point is, that she admitted cheating on me and the doctor confirmed her pregnancy. I didn't wish to discuss my personal sex life with my wife here, but I know that it is not possible that the baby is mine and even if it was, it doesn't change the fact that I don't want to spend my life, with somebody, who I cannot trust anymore.

And I sure appreciate your reply, It gave me a little comfort

Of course the marriage was real, and true love and I might still have feelings for her, but a marriage is based on faith and my faith in her is completly gone.

[Myopia 93]

Well, first of all, I wouldn't care about the darker skin, and I'm sure that the baby will be awesome and cute, but that's not the point. The point is, that she admitted cheating on me and the doctor confirmed her pregnancy. I didn't wish to discuss my personal sex life with my wife here, but I know that it is not possible that the baby is mine and even if it was, it doesn't change the fact that I don't want to spend my life, with somebody, who I cannot trust anymore.

And I sure appreciate your reply, It gave me a little comfort

Of course the marriage was real, and true love and I might still have feelings for her, but a marriage is based on faith and my faith in her is completly gone.

Problem is you are married to her and a child that is born in marriage is considered to be your child.

You may be liable for child support if she decides that there is a possibility that you are the father.

[Kathryn41 3,205]

One inappropriate post (more suitable to Off Topic than the Immigration Forums) plus post quoting the same, have been removed. The acceptable part of the removed post quoting the inappropriate comment is returned to the thread below.

Yep, but I still only have a conditional Green Card, so when I thought a couple months ago, my journey with USCIS ended for 2-years, I thought wrong. They just got more complicated. (Not to mention that my married life is in ruins, but this is not the subject I wish to discuss here, before somebody screams out, that I'm not only a racist, but only worried about my GC.)

A warning - the OP does not need nor want your 'judgments'. He is asking for advice about how to deal with the immigration aspects of his situation. If you cannot confine your responses to this area of concern, then please do not comment at all.

[rlogan 2,036]

Get divorced, most states will require proof that the child isn't yours in order to not hit you up for child support. This is a good thing as the court records (which will include the paternity test results) will support your contention that you left the marriage due to her extra-marital affair.

Once the divorce is final (or you hit the 90 day filing window if the divorce isn't final yet) you can file on your own. You will just need to show that the marriage was entered into in good faith. This is accomplished by showing you co-mingled your lives & finances and you cohabitated..

Thumbs up to this. Show you entered in good faith.

This kind of thing happens, and the law provides for it.

[Blob18 111]

Problem is you are married to her and a child that is born in marriage is considered to be your child.

You may be liable for child support if she decides that there is a possibility that you are the father.

True, however, he could request a DNA test and if/when the test came back negative stating he is not the father, he wouldn't be liable.

Get a divorce asap. Try to document what happened and when. If you still have travel itineraries and tickets save them. You can use them in conjunction with what the doctor stated to prove you were not in the country at the time of conception.

[Myopia 93]

True, however, he could request a DNA test and if/when the test came back negative stating he is not the father, he wouldn't be liable.

Get a divorce asap. Try to document what happened and when. If you still have travel itineraries and tickets save them. You can use them in conjunction with what the doctor stated to prove you were not in the country at the time of conception.

Yea but noone can force her to take the test unless its by court order. He needs to get divorced before she has the baby.

[Deputy Purple 1,294]

Yea but noone can force her to take the test unless its by court order. He needs to get divorced before she has the baby.

Getting divorced before the birth doesn't remove the presumption that a child conceived during the marriage is his biological child. The Divorce Judge will order DNA to prove his role in the conception (if any) as a standard part of the whole process.

[Tanya and Barry 59]

Yea but noone can force her to take the test unless its by court order. He needs to get divorced before she has the baby.

This is forcing her to take the test....