Should I get pregnant?

[ceyhunihal 6]

I understand your dilemma. Having a child is very expensive and, as a man, I really can't speak with the same authority as the ladies, however, the energy that you intend to devote to a child could be rechanneled to other pursuits. Perhaps helping out children or volunteering or something else. That would be my best advice until you are in a position to have a child. You are not old and there is still time for that blessed event to happen. Without health insurance and a only a temp job you are going to have real problems raising a child. I don't mean to sound harsh but living a hand-to-mouth existence is no life for a kid.

[Amby 490]

The risk for downs for babies of older mothers doesn't start to increase a huge amount until you're over 40

[rika60607 215]

Yep, going through pregnancy when you already have health issues is tough and can be expensive, be it anemia or diabetes. I would imagine someone with serious/chronic health issues would not rest until they had medical insurance and may be they would not even immigrate to US until they were sure medical cover would be in place.

OP did not mention having any health problems that would make pregnancy undesirable/difficult, though

well in my case, they were concerned because I have a rare form of anemia that they speculated was partially the reason why Nick wasn't gaining weight. I didn't want to go the route of iron pills (i'm not going to get into why) so they put me on a pretty strict menu that was wayyyy more than I was used to eating. *shrug*

From what age do they start testing for it in US?

The risk for downs for babies of older mothers doesn't start to increase a huge amount until you're over 40

Edited March 20, 2011 by rika60607

[Fandango 1,439]

Yep, going through pregnancy when you already have health issues is tough and can be expensive, be it anemia or diabetes. I would imagine someone with serious/chronic health issues would not rest until they had medical insurance and may be they would not even immigrate to US until they were sure medical cover would be in place.

OP did not mention having any health problems that would make pregnancy undesirable/difficult, though

I've always had the anemia, that much was a given. and really only brought into the conversation in response to Jenn regarding a comment about breastmilk. So let's just strike that from the equation, for conversation's sake.

I mentioned the GD because it's more common to mothers who are over 35. As the OP said 'over 33', that really doesn't tell how much older than 33, and if you're going to have a 'high risk' pregnancy, then the GD is actually something to not ignore. The 'extra tests' I mentioned did NOT reference the GD - it referenced, like Staashi, the fact that when you're 35 and older, you are automatically branded 'high risk' and with that comes a lot more testing ie - more money.

Whether you agree or not as far as how heavy a factor money should be when deciding to have a child, this much (above) is fact, not supposition.

Edited March 20, 2011 by Lisa C

[Amby 490]

From what age do they start testing for it in US?

I think it's over 35, but the risk doesn't get really really high until you're over 40. The risk almost doubles between 35 and 40 and then quadruples again between 40 and 45. Once you're 45 the risk doubles every year. I think it's something like 1 in 40 chance by the time you're 45. I don't remember the exact reason because I learned about it a long time ago. It has to do with a mother's genes and how they replicate as you age.

Edited March 20, 2011 by Amby

[rika60607 215]

So if she is determined to have that child, it may be a good idea to have it now, rather than wait until years later when all kinds of risks and costs are increased?

To the OP - here is an idea: could you go back to your country at 3-4 months pregnant? If you come from 3rd world, I bet birth expenses are much cheaper there, and if you come from 1st world country you may still be eligible for benefits there.

.... The 'extra tests' I mentioned did NOT reference the GD - it referenced, like Staashi, the fact that when you're 35 and older, you are automatically branded 'high risk' and with that comes a lot more testing ie - more money.

Whether you agree or not as far as how heavy a factor money should be when deciding to have a child, this much (above) is fact, not supposition.

[Fandango 1,439]

So if she is determined to have that child, it may be a good idea to have it now, rather than wait until years later when all kinds of risks and costs are increased?

Again, 'over 33' doesn't say much. So that could be 34, it could be 38. We don't know. And even if Op is 33, only she can determine what is best for her family.

I find it odd that you are trying to begrudge me my opinion. I'm not trying to get you to agree with me, but it seems you are trying to get me to agree with you. Disagree all you want, but all this back and forth over my opinion is kinda odd. OP asked for all opinions, so you're right, I'm right, everyone here is right...we all have different perspectives. OP can feel free to take whatever she wants from whichever post she feels helps her the best decision possible.

I actually think it's good to have differing opinions here...it can shed light on many perspectives, so it's giving the OP the most amt of information we can give.

[Jenn! 918]

well in my case, they were concerned because I have a rare form of anemia that they speculated was partially the reason why Nick wasn't gaining weight. I didn't want to go the route of iron pills (i'm not going to get into why) so they put me on a pretty strict menu that was wayyyy more than I was used to eating. *shrug*

Most people don't have rare forms of anemia. The fact remains that for a woman without other physical problems interfering, malnourishment should not preclude breastfeeding.

[Rebecca Jo 1,962]

Most people don't have rare forms of anemia. The fact remains that for a woman without other physical problems interfering, malnourishment should not preclude breastfeeding.

Yeah well that takes care of one end of the baby!

Diapers aren't free. Even if you use cloth and wash 'em it takes time and money.

[Jenn! 918]

Yeah well that takes care of one end of the baby!

Diapers aren't free. Even if you use cloth and wash 'em it takes time and money.

Oh of course. My point is not that babies aren't expensive. Just wanted to address that specific point regarding maternal nutrition and breastfeeding.

[Fandango 1,439]

Most people don't have rare forms of anemia. The fact remains that for a woman without other physical problems interfering, malnourishment should not preclude breastfeeding.

True, my original post should have been worded differently wrt to this. However, a malnourished new mom in her 30s who may also have to balance a career with motherhood, with a tight financial budget isn't exactly the wisest option either.

[Amby 490]

Yeah well that takes care of one end of the baby!

Diapers aren't free. Even if you use cloth and wash 'em it takes time and money.

Cloth diapers reminds me of something. A few months ago I had to use my grandma's car to pick up my little cousins from school because my aunt was working and I don't have carseats in my car. My grandma handed me her car key and it was attached to a big old diaper safety pin instead of a key ring

Ok back to the real conversation...

[Jenn! 918]

True, my original post should have been worded differently wrt to this. However, a malnourished new mom in her 30s who may also have to balance a career with motherhood, with a tight financial budget isn't exactly the wisest option either.

Agree on that.

[rika60607 215]

No no,

no need to agree with me Argument is healthy and I was not trying to convince you at all, sorry if it came out that way. I was just trying to balance out the dozen of people who's opinion is "don't you dare to have a baby and use welfare" and "you will end up on the street picking trash cans and being unfit mother".

You made some interesting points, so you got quoted, that's all.

I find it odd that you are trying to begrudge me my opinion. I'm not trying to get you to agree with me, but it seems you are trying to get me to agree with you. Disagree all you want, but all this back and forth over my opinion is kinda odd. OP asked for all opinions, so you're right, I'm right, everyone here is right...we all have different perspectives. OP can feel free to take whatever she wants from whichever post she feels helps her the best decision possible.

I actually think it's good to have differing opinions here...it can shed light on many perspectives, so it's giving the OP the most amt of information we can give.

[Fandango 1,439]

No no,

no need to agree with me Argument is healthy and I was not trying to convince you at all, sorry if it came out that way. I was just trying to balance out the dozen of people who's opinion is "don't you dare to have a baby and use welfare" and "you will end up on the street picking trash cans and being unfit mother".

You made some interesting points, so you got quoted, that's all.

Oh ok cool. Sorry I jumped to the wrong conclusion.

I have a friend who is having a baby on Medicaid...thank God that's around cos I dunno what she'd do otherwise. I don't think programs like that are bad - I do think they get abused, but at the end of the day, what can ya do?

I don't think the most expensive part to having a baby is the pregnancy/delivery. That can always be worked out somehow. I think the really hard financial stuff comes afterward.