Luck of Willpower

[Canadiandggal 49]

I have to agree with above posters.

1) I am sorry to hear you two are calling it quits.

2) Everyone in this situation gets tired of waiting but If its meant to be then what is this small amount of time? when you have a lifetime together.

3) It is better to end it now then to be together and realize its not right.

Good luck in the future

[TeddyHoney 42]

Yay! my first post! I agree if you give up after only 3 and a half months, then it wasn't meant to be. LDR is a waiting game by itself, ad in long wait times for k1 processing and your going to definitely be sitting on your hands quite a bit. I wish I could be waiting 3 and half months at this point. I have been working on a divorce from my ex since oct 2009. She has done everything she can to make it take longer even tho there is nothing to argue over. I have most of my petition ready with a big blank spot for "date of divorce". I wonder if it will look suspicious to have k1 mailed off the day of or day after i'm divorced. )

I was like you and was doing K-1 visa documents and stuff about half way thru my divorce and it took another 8 months to get decree. Just be sure that when you get the decree that you check the expiration and effective dates of you 1-129F and G-325A forms etc. Cuz by the time I got my decree we had to do them over on nwere versions. You may be aware of that already but i thought I'd throw that out just in case!

[Matt & Bing 56]

So you found the love of your life, got engaged, and decide 3.5 months later that you can't take the wait anymore? When did you meet your fiancee?

Yes, your lack of willpower is probably a good (or lucky) thing.

[jaz00mine 8]

Wow only 3 month?! Better now then later

[amykathleen2005 441]

Did you even have a relationship? Or were you just pen pals with benefits. Because 3.5 months sure doesn't show commitment or desire to me.

[Tyeger87 10]

Did you even have a relationship? Or were you just pen pals with benefits. Because 3.5 months sure doesn't show commitment or desire to me.

im not trying to start a war here but i believe your comment is rude and unnecessary. Here is a person who has ended a relationship and you question the validity of it in the first place and then ask if they were pen pals. i just feel its kind of insulting, if you and your SO were to break up, how would you feel if someone asked u the same thing? I think we should strive for tact and politeness when responding to people, especially when they are having a particularly difficult time

Edited March 18, 2011 by Tyeger87

[amykathleen2005 441]

In my view a relationship, which is supposedly going to lead to marriage and a lifetime commitment, cannot have been all that genuine if it cannot stand three and a half months apart. And a long distance relationship which does not consist of a strong emotional commitment is effectively being a pen pal.The idea of looking at options (which there are several) and then choosing to just break up is ridiculous for a committed couple. If my husband could not have got a visa to the US then I would have gone there to live, or we would have lived some where else, not just given up!

[BirdyGirl85 23]

Yeah I don't really understand these couples breaking up because they can't handle the distance for just a few months. I mean don't most of these relationships here on VJ start as a long distance relationships anyways? I would think most people have dealt with this before they even started the visa process. Unless all they did was meet in person once and then file. Which in my opinion is not enough time to know if you want to marry someone. I know there are a lot of couples here that started the visa process right after meeting only once, so they are probably annoyed with what I just said, but that's still my opinion. My husband and I were in a long distance relationship for 4 years and 8 months before we filed for the fiance visa. We were apart for months at a time so being apart wasn't something new for us. Don't get me wrong, it was very hard to be apart, and got even harder after each visit we had, but as long as you talk often during that time you are apart you can get through it. It has all been worth it in the end to be married and living together.

[B_J 2,752]

I'm not going to judge anybody for their relationship failing during this process. There are so many factors that could cause that. There could have been money problems, family problems, etc. I'm not going to judge anybody or their relationship. I just give you my sympathy and understanding.

[mishab 1]

yea. we have known each other for since 1985. I remember each how excited i was when we saw each other in school. we were just kids and each of went separate ways. in 2007 our roads crossed and the 1985 was all over again, except for me living in the us and her living in russia. each of us flu back and forth at least 20 times (counting the stamps in the passport) and never felt better about the future. Recently ( mostly due to this lenthy process) we started talking about me moving to Russia adn the question came up, which simply stated: if you really love me then come to Russia. We would begin the journey together in Moscow and wait for visa to arrive together in Moscow. I guess it could have been an option and a fair transition, but I do not see myself livig there, which kind of dented our relationship. Very simple and very sad.

[amykathleen2005 441]

Love is not love which alters when it alteration finds, or bends with the remover to remove.

-Shakespeare

Edited March 18, 2011 by amykathleen2005