He wants a divorce without AOS

[sus 70]

#######? Ok maybe in India... What do u know about laws.

Ricardo, you mis-interpreted his post - he was responding to another that said it, and pure madness.

Tammy, I am so sorry to hear you are going through this. But someone already said it - if he is drinking and driving, you need to take steps to disassociate yourself and protect yourself - because if he gets in an accident, they can and will come after you as his spouse.

[helpmelord 3]

Sorry to hear about your situation, i remember reading you time line while getting ready for my interview.

Let me go against the grain here and say that you might be jumping the gun abit by contacting the USCIS and filing divorce. Did you perceive this to be a genuine relationship from the onset, if so find out what could have changed to bring it to the point where it is now, also if he was a person living in the fast lane in jamaica the adjustment to Oregon life might be much and once he hits florida where every third person is jamaican and the lifestyle isnt much different from back home then he might be under undue pressure from peers to disregard your union. Think about it and if it is at all possible then take the time to sit and talk with him see where his head is and what he might be going through. Dont mention the fact that he needs you to be "legal" or the courses of action you can take to have him removed just have a one to one with the person you loved enough to marry then after that if you dont see where he is serious about you or your union then by all means start the ball rolling with the necessary legal proceedings.

Ras Wyse,

Big up to that speech I have been trying to say this to the lady, but some people do not want to hear it.

[sus 70]

Postras wyse, on 17 March 2011 - 03:38 PM, said:

Sorry to hear about your situation, i remember reading you time line while getting ready for my interview.

Let me go against the grain here and say that you might be jumping the gun abit by contacting the USCIS and filing divorce. Did you perceive this to be a genuine relationship from the onset, if so find out what could have changed to bring it to the point where it is now, also if he was a person living in the fast lane in jamaica the adjustment to Oregon life might be much and once he hits florida where every third person is jamaican and the lifestyle isnt much different from back home then he might be under undue pressure from peers to disregard your union. Think about it and if it is at all possible then take the time to sit and talk with him see where his head is and what he might be going through. Dont mention the fact that he needs you to be "legal" or the courses of action you can take to have him removed just have a one to one with the person you loved enough to marry then after that if you dont see where he is serious about you or your union then by all means start the ball rolling with the necessary legal proceedings.

Ras Wyse,

Big up to that speech I have been trying to say this to the lady, but some people do not want to hear it.

So the fact that he is getting pressure from peers to disregard the union, that makes it okay if he does it? Justifying it based on a "lifestyle" is a load of ####### - a cheat is a cheat is a cheat - no cultural issues, no other factors to blame.

What you are both disregarding is her post which states HE wants to be free - did she initiate this? He's made his bed, let him lie in it - She has some choices to make, and a very hard thing to deal with that she needs support and advise - it;s up to her to take the advice given and formulate the decision that was best for her and her future.

However, to justify running around and cheating on a culture, peer pressure, whatever, is straight up BS - cause I see plenty of good good Jamaican men who treat their wives like the queen they are and visa versa.

[Beauty for Ashes 257]

I just got married and we have not applied for AOS yet. So my husbands I-94 just expired...he went to stay with his cousin in Florida while I looked for a new house and while he was waiting to work we figured he could get some visiting done. Since he's been there he's changed...he goes out and partys he's mean to me on the phone and he's been nonstop txting a girl he met at a club (I know cuz he told me but he said he'd stop and hasn't) last night he said he wanted to be a free man meaning he wanted a divorce and he would stay in Florida...so here's my question people...because he's still in the country on an expired visa if we get divorced without filing AOS he needs to leave, right? Can I call immigration and give them the address and have him removed? Or I am going down to talk about it with him next week and I know he is now drinking and driving without a license often... CAn I take the license number and call him in that way? I'll be damned if he cets to use me to get here and then cheats on me and leaves....PLEASE ANY ADVICE WELCOME!

Just be very quiet and let him have his divorce.

Let him leave and then quietly call ICE and immigration. Just be happy he is willing to leave and is too stupid to realise the mess he is in now.. I am so sorry.. Happened to me too

[faithinGod 8]

To OP... This is SOLID advice! I can say from experience having a similar situation as yours happen to me last year. I'm sorry to hear that this happens to people and that others use love and emotions to trick decent people into these situations. I can tell you that calling ICE will be the most difficult thing to do in your life because you obviously are in love and seem to be an honest/caring person. What you need to have sink into your mind, it takes time... trust me, but realize that this guy didn't love you (don't keep telling yourself he does). Anyone that treats their spouse like that is not in love. You were used to gain an immigration benefit. That's EXACTLY what the ICE Agent told me about my situation! The ICE Agent told me to forget my ex and move on with my life as she's now USCIS's problem and they will take care of her when she comes on the grid. ICE told me to not have any contact with my ex and to inform them if she ever attempts to contact me. It's been nearly a year since I reported her to ICE and it's been 6 months since the final divorce papers were sent to ICE. She's still here in the US, even ICE said that girl was not too bright. I have heard (her aunt txt msgs me occasional updates..not sure why) that my ex is living in San Diego, using a fake ID and is pregnant for her unemployed boyfriend. It does give me a chuckle to hear things are going so well for her . It takes time, but you need to seriously realize that you were used for a piece of paper to get into the USA, nothing more,,, move on with your life. There's men out there who will treat you with respect and honor. The guy you married ain't one of them.

As Darnell pointed out. You can't get him deported but DON'T file AOS and DON'T sponsor his I-864. Contact ICE to get the liability away from you! Make him a USCIS problem, not your problem. If he's drinking/driving and clubbing, maybe fighting. Chances are at some point in time he'll be picked up by local police during an "instance of convenience" as the ICE Agent told me. They don't really go after these types for immigration fraud but just wait for them to pop up in the grid (arrested, in hospital, accident, etc.). If he has a deportation order on his head then he goes back home compliments of Uncle Sam.

Goodluck and best wishes

Listen to Johnny, he`s one of the few here that really understands what you`re dealing with!

[Fandango 1,439]

Wow mi caan n refuse to believe dat -- My husband just read dis...kmt especially at the comment "many from yaad is not going to tell them wrong because whey are from the same country" but watch yah...once again kmt mek mi add kmrct dis time.

Trelawany Parish,

Mi and u know seh a wole heep a people hab bad mine. and we dun know, him fren dem nu mus legal and no want him get true B4 dem and live a happy life, an because him just come yah and no know ####### bout dah country yah dem full up him head a crazy things. Mi have proof of a lot of happanings like dat. Mi nah se him right fi do weh him do, but him we wake up one day an realize him fren dem no mean him no good. We all know pear pressure and many of us has been fooled in this country by our own kind. No disrespect sista but a long time mi a see things like dis, people a tell you fi do things because dem a dweet, or because dem a get weh wid it. And to the man of the house no disrespect either an a nuh every body tan so, but like mi seh people got bad mine.

why are you two typing like this?

It's incredibly hard to read, and this isn't the regional forum

[DarlingNikki 7]

Whoooo ~Huge Sigh~ So very sorry you are going through this.....

In closing, you should clown his dumb a**! I for one HATE liars and deceivers but what I hate more is a BAD deceiver. Like if your going to "con" me or whatever hell let the ink dry on the da*n marriage cert first! I mean come on thats all it took was a lil "freedom" for true colors to show. Da*n, I'd hate to see if he never had a vacation for years; boy he'd be buck-wild! See know Im mad and I dont even know him, but just the thought of someone taking someone's heart, love, generousity, care and concern then take it as a sign that your weak! Well sister, dry your tears, get to FL and see what the he*l is so da*n fascinating that he is stupid enough to jeopardize you, your marriage and immigration. Tell him you ain't worried I can't be deported, B!

Okay take care, Im in Seattle. I travel for a**-kickns!

This was my initial response too! I'm all about beating somebody down for their foolishness!

But in all honesty, this is a decision only you can make. I think it very wise of you to converse with people like Johny and Hanging in There who have posted in this topic and see what route they went. Then consider your situation and how they may be similar or different. From there you can decide if it's the route you want to go.

In all honesty, my personal opinion is that no one deserves this treatment. Yes, as stated by others, you may want to hold out and see if you two can work things out. But as someone else stated, if HE is telling you he wants a divorce then why would you want to burden yourself by convincing him that he doesn't. I'm almost sure that will not benefit you in the future.

Anywho... I'm sorry you've gone through this. I remember reading your review of the interview and I've followed your timeline. Unfrotunately, your K-1 process is very recent and this is something that (if attributed to fear, culture shock, nervousness... or whatever) should not have occurred so soon if he truly loved you and wanted to spend the rest of his life with you. But no one can evaluate his state of mind right now.

Good luck in your journey to happiness. Please remember to guard yourself at all times. Start resurrecting your life as an unmarried individual when it comes to your finances and other legal areas. Sort out your bills, collect your documents, and then decide what you want. Make sure you have evidence of HIS intent as well as yours.

Edited March 21, 2011 by DarlingNikki

[Myopia 93]

why are you two typing like this?

It's incredibly hard to read, and this isn't the regional forum

Its not that hard to read and it is english. Kinda like how Dominican Republic spanish is different from Castillian Spanish.

I have translated this for you. lol

TRELAWNY PARISH, on 17 March 2011 - 09:54 PM, said:

Wow mi caan n refuse to believe dat -- My husband just read dis...kmt especially at the comment "many from yaad is not going to tell them wrong because whey are from the same country" but watch yah...once again kmt mek mi add kmrct dis time.

Oh. Its is hard for me to believe that. My husband just read this. (Kiss my teeth--a regional tic that suggests annoyance) Especially at the comment, "Many that come from Jamaica are not going to tell them that they are wrong because that are from the same country", But wait and see, once again I felt forced to add some additional comment to this thread again

helpmelord, on 17 March 2011 - 10:18 PM, said:

Trelawany Parish,

Mi and u know seh a wole heep a people hab bad mine. and we dun know, him fren dem nu mus legal and no want him get true B4 dem and live a happy life, an because him just come yah and no know ####### bout dah country yah dem full up him head a crazy things. Mi have proof of a lot of happanings like dat. Mi nah se him right fi do weh him do, but him we wake up one day an realize him fren dem no mean him no good. We all know pear pressure and many of us has been fooled in this country by our own kind. No disrespect sista but a long time mi a see things like dis, people a tell you fi do things because dem a dweet, or because dem a get weh wid it. And to the man of the house no disrespect either an a nuh every body tan so, but like mi seh people got bad mine.

You and I both know that a lot of people have negative ideas. We know that his friends probably aren't legal and don't want him to become legal either before they do. Because he just came here and doesn't know anything about this country. They put ideas in his hard that were just crazy. I know that this happens a lot with proof.I am not saying that he is right for doing what he is doing but he will realize one day that his friends do not wish any good for him. We all know what it is to deal with peer pressure and many of us have been fooled by our own countrymen.

Im not trying to be disrespectful to you, but I have seen this happening for a long time. People tell you to do things because they are doing the same thing or because they are getting away with it.

And to your husband, not trying to be rude but not every body does this but as I said, some people have negative ideas.

[chezzy 2]

I just got married and we have not applied for AOS yet. So my husbands I-94 just expired...he went to stay with his cousin in Florida while I looked for a new house and while he was waiting to work we figured he could get some visiting done. Since he's been there he's changed...he goes out and partys he's mean to me on the phone and he's been nonstop txting a girl he met at a club (I know cuz he told me but he said he'd stop and hasn't) last night he said he wanted to be a free man meaning he wanted a divorce and he would stay in Florida...so here's my question people...because he's still in the country on an expired visa if we get divorced without filing AOS he needs to leave, right? Can I call immigration and give them the address and have him removed? Or I am going down to talk about it with him next week and I know he is now drinking and driving without a license often... CAn I take the license number and call him in that way? I'll be damned if he cets to use me to get here and then cheats on me and leaves....PLEASE ANY ADVICE WELCOME!

alot of you ladies treat the mans very bad because there not from here

and when they leave you come on forums not telling the truth and cryiny

he left he just left then other people without knowing the truth start to give advise.

he leave without applying for Aos , i thing ur not sayiny all the story here

i have alot of canadian get treated bad by these american ladies and they say am

the reason why hes here he gotta do what i want.

[~Johnny~ 27]

alot of you ladies treat the mans very bad because there not from here

and when they leave you come on forums not telling the truth and cryiny

he left he just left then other people without knowing the truth start to give advise.

he leave without applying for Aos , i thing ur not sayiny all the story here

i have alot of canadian get treated bad by these american ladies and they say am

the reason why hes here he gotta do what i want.

Really Chezzy?? After 4 posts on VJ you felt compelled to write your expert opinion on ladies here treating men badly and then accuse the OP of not saying the entire story? kmt

[chezzy 2]

Really Chezzy?? After 4 posts on VJ you felt compelled to write your expert opinion on ladies here treating men badly and then accuse the OP of not saying the entire story? kmt

what 4 post got to do with what am saying am not accusing anyone but that dont sound right just visiting and

didnt come back and Aos was not file

[~Johnny~ 27]

alot of you ladies treat the mans very bad because there not from here

and when they leave you come on forums not telling the truth and cryiny

he left he just left then other people without knowing the truth start to give advise.

he leave without applying for Aos , i thing ur not sayiny all the story here

i have alot of canadian get treated bad by these american ladies and they say am

the reason why hes here he gotta do what i want.

Not accusing anyone?? Try READING "ur" own words. Oh nevermind you're just trolling. Have fun with that....

[N400-2011 24]

[helpmelord 3]

Its not that hard to read and it is english. Kinda like how Dominican Republic spanish is different from Castillian Spanish.

I have translated this for you. lol

Thank you Myopia,

I did not want to upset anyone and because everyone here are taking this so hard, and Trelawny parish and I were having a mi night conversation and we understand the patio and whats going, on I figure the less people know the better it is for them. Thank you for translating because I was not about to do it.

Oh. Its is hard for me to believe that. My husband just read this. (Kiss my teeth--a regional tic that suggests annoyance) Especially at the comment, "Many that come from Jamaica are not going to tell them that they are wrong because that are from the same country", But wait and see, once again I felt forced to add some additional comment to this thread again

You and I both know that a lot of people have negative ideas. We know that his friends probably aren't legal and don't want him to become legal either before they do. Because he just came here and doesn't know anything about this country. They put ideas in his hard that were just crazy. I know that this happens a lot with proof.I am not saying that he is right for doing what he is doing but he will realize one day that his friends do not wish any good for him. We all know what it is to deal with peer pressure and many of us have been fooled by our own countrymen.

Im not trying to be disrespectful to you, but I have seen this happening for a long time. People tell you to do things because they are doing the same thing or because they are getting away with it.

And to your husband, not trying to be rude but not every body does this but as I said, some people have negative ideas.

[helpmelord 3]

what 4 post got to do with what am saying am not accusing anyone but that dont sound right just visiting and

didnt come back and Aos was not file

While we are here arguing and cussing each other out, I just want to ask, has anyone head from her or has she respond to anyone of the post that we all have put on here? Because I have been scrolling through all this and other than the one post I have not seen anymore. People here have made friends with each other and has helped each other on their journey to Citizenship, Green Card, K1, Cr1, Ir1 etc and this was a beautiful medium to visit a few days ago, now its egg shells and then some. While some people are out spoken some are afraid to say whats on their mind and others are just plain rude . Please do not let the moderator of this site close our portal, LEAVE THEM TO WORK IT OUT. I want to see people being positive again and be friends.