Preparing for the benficiary's arrival

[kristen_maroc 126]

That's awesome that it works for you! Do you set it up in your account and then give the person in Morocco your ID and password? Or do you mean you can set it up in their account directly, but logging in as them from the U.S.? Sorry if I'm asking really basic questions, I just want to make sure I do this right step-by-step so I don't end up randomly signing up for something that just lets me call my cousin in Indiana or something!

I'm in Morocco now, so I'm the one using the account. When I am in the states, my fiance uses it.

I set it up from the States-- registered, used a US credit card to sign up for unlimited, etc. Then, I logged in from the US first, then later Morocco and it still works.

[Crossed_fingers 128]

Great, thank you so much for the info, Kristen.

And Vivian, thank you also for the thoughtful post. It covered a lot of topics I'm curious about. I'm definitely going to stop by Credit du Maroc next time I'm there. Is there any particular document I should bring, or will standard stuff like my passport and some $$$ be enough?

[VivianNYC 1]

Great, thank you so much for the info, Kristen.

And Vivian, thank you also for the thoughtful post. It covered a lot of topics I'm curious about. I'm definitely going to stop by Credit du Maroc next time I'm there. Is there any particular document I should bring, or will standard stuff like my passport and some $$$ be enough?

I think passport and a minimum deposit, perhaps $200, was all that was required. And no problem transferring money back and forth. Just make sure they understand that the ABA number for US banks is the same as the Swift code.

[nejma 3]

Just wanted to add my two cents here based on our experiences. I hardly ever post, but I really wanted to offer some of our experiences because as many of the "experienced" gals have said - the visa process is the "easy" part:

1) Get international driver's license, look into state regulations on how long it will be good for after SO's arrival

Check if your state even recognizes the IDL. Mine doesn't. They told me not to bother, that his foreign DL was valid for 3 months. So he drove with his Moroccan DL until he was able to get one here. We were pulled over once (signal issue) and he was driving, they checked his license and then asked me for mine and let us go. Not sure what would have happened if he was alone. As far as car insurance, I called and just had him listed as a driver even though he had no DL number for here and it wasn't a problem (this was State Farm).

2) Consider short term driving lesson(s) to get SO up to speed on American driving

This wasn't an issue for us. Biggest issue was getting used to driving an automatic vs. stick-shift. Right foot only! But he caught on quickly with that.

3) Practice English as much as possible, especially as it relates to interviews and professional settings

He enrolled in free ESL classes, but found he was too advanced for ESL so they put him in Adult literacy. Then he got bored and stopped going. Best thing that worked for us was watching American TV. He was never interested in Arabic TV so I'm glad I didn't get that ahead of time. You might want to wait on the TV channel's until they're here, in case. He said he'd been watching Arabic tv his whole life, so now was more interested in what we had here and he reads his Moroccan news all online. But as Jenn said, Jerry Springer, while interesting for the culture shock, not so good for language

4) Americanize SO's CV and cover letter

We did this right away. We set up a job counseling interview and she helped him with this based on the timeline we created, from his education to all his jobs, then I just took the notes and created a new resume for him. We got the job counseling appointment through the public library, it was through the Jewish Vocational Center. See if there's a local job searching nonprofit in the area. Check through the library. They not only help with figuring out where their skills will fit in, but also with resume writing.

5) Discuss and practice American-style interviews - especially helpful to have mock interviews held by other friends

Job counselor will go over this, but yes, practicing at home helps too.

6) Contact friends in same line of work as SO to generate leads

This didn't work so well for us. I tried, but hubby was really big on doing things on his own and not being "babied" through this whole process. (this included a lot of things, like making friends, too....). So I just finally gave him the resources,(Career builder, craigslist, standard cover letter and resume, etc) and let go. But your hubby has to be willing to make calls and contacts himself. Not everyone is like that. Mine is though.

7) Encourage SO to volunteer or intern to build up resume and gain references while looking for the "real" job

He wasn't interested in volunteer work. Work for free?? psshh. No way. He was great in helping out with my elderly dad though - taking him to hospital appointments, bringing his laundry home, doing minor fix-its around his house, grocery shopping, etc. when I wasn't able to. So teaming him up with a (relative) who could navigate and tell him where to go and such worked out because while it's not something for the "resume" per-se, it was a learning experience for him (dealing with hospital staff, etc and learning about more stores) he really was helping me - and my dad - out in a tremendous way which made everyone feel good all around

8) Register SO as authorized user to build up credit history [bTW, anyone know offhand if that will help? I seem to remember seeing that in another post somewhere on VJ but I haven't looked into that personally. If anyone else has any other tips for building up a good credit score quickly, I am all ears!]

As others stated, a secured credit card seems to be working for my hubby. He did one through Capital One, for just $200. He just charges minor things on it monthly (like Netflix membership) and then pays it off every month. A few months later, they increased the limit. Then he applied for an airline credit card and got that one. We bought airline tickets for a vacation, and paid them off before the interest kicked in. I'm trying to get him to open one for my favorite department store but he said hell to the no.

9) Look into networking groups? Professional associations geared to SO's religious or cultural group?

Yeah, I don't know many Moroccans who seem to trust anyone enough to "network" with others. But I don't know I'm sure not everyone is like that. This is along the lines of finding him friends and a job - he wanted to do this on his own. At first I didn't get it, but after 2 years of being here and having established himself pretty well, it's made him a lot more independent than if I'd "hand-held" him for every single thing.

10) Get SO's foreign degree(s) evaluated

Not applicable to us. It was pretty self-explanatory.

11) Anyone know if having a translated letter of recommendation from an employer in the home country is worth the paper it's written on??

We had letters of recommendation from people who spoke English who worked with him, but no one ever seemed interested in them. Or of even contacting his overseas references. But then again, that could vary by work industry.

12) Consider training courses or certifications (MS Office, IT certifications, language proficiency testing, etc.)

You can usually find free stuff through - again - your library. Mine has a whole online courses of GED testing, TOEFL, MS Office products. They also have free computer classes on MS Office. Try these before you invest in actual certifications.

13) Create portfolio of work, if applicable

I did this, but again - none of his potential employers ever looked at it. But he had it, and I think it impressed them just to have it. So it could help. Again, depends on the line of work. This applies to anyone, btw, not just our foreign spouses.

As far as insurance, I was able to add my husband right after we were married. It was effective immediately from the date of marriage. They didn't require a SSN right away, I just called in when he got it and gave them the info. Getting insured before you're married - well, if you have to get married within 90 days, you probably want to do it sooner than later, so you can also file for AOS as soon as you can.

We were able to add him also to my bank account right away. Even without a SSN. I know my bank allows foreign students to open accounts so they must be more lax than other banks - seems to vary from bank to bank.

Another tip - start saving things for ROC in 2 years. Just to have things that cover from when he gets here to when you apply, so not everything is just from the couple of months before you apply for ROC. For ideas on things to save, look at the guides for Removing Conditions.

And finally - as I said above - don't baby them. I don't know about the others who have posted here and their SO's have been here for awhile, but mine hated it. Sure get things ready for when they're here and have resources handy, but don't be surprised if he doesn't want your help. He's already feeling like a fish out of water and homesick, and in my case, my husband needed to feel independent to ease all that. Our adjustment was a lot harder when I was trying to shove too many things down his throat - finally I just let go and let him explore and try to make contacts, look for a job, figure things on his own, etc etc. When he needed help, he would ask, but I stopped being pushy and man did that make a world of difference for us. Everyone learns differently, and in our case, this is how my hubby learns - independently. By they way, this is something I really didn't realize about him until he was here. When you have a long distance relationship, you really aren't seeing how they do things day to day. It's that whole "this is how he is on vacation - and this is how he is in real life" and you never really know until you ARE spending day to day with them.

So that's my two cents. More like two dollars

[UmmSqueakster 54]

Here's a new one - there is the potential for harassment.

Both AbuS and I have gotten snide comments in the past about go back to where you've came from (always a favorite of mine, since I came from Wisconsin).

But today, while waiting for the bus, some guy started whacking AbuS with his backpack and telling him to go back to India Luckily AbuS kept his head and immediately pulled out his cellphone and called 911. The whacker started to walk away, and the 911 operator told AbuS that he shouldn't follow him. The officer who came to take his statement told him he had a right to self defense, but AbuS didn't fight back, for fear that it would escalate the situation and he'd get in trouble too.

Now, bear in mind AbuS has been here 5 and a half years, and this is the first time harassment has ever been physical. It's not too frequent, and usually is just verbal.

I've been physically harassed twice. The first time a group of teenage girls pulled my hijab off at a local grocery store. The second time may have just been runner harassment and not muslim harassment - as I was out running a few years back, I ran past a group of guys and one of them reached out and grabbed my chest. Piggies.

Not saying that immigrants WILL be harassed, but at least be aware that it's always a possibility and that they should know how to act accordingly. I'd say AbuS did the right thing in not fighting back, since his life wasn't in danger and he wasn't too seriously hurt. He's a US citizen now, so he can't be deported.

[nurse1967 287]

We have been very lucky. So far, Tarek has had one person he works with (from England originally nontheless) who made a snide comment when he found out he was Muslim. Other than that, he has had no issues whatsoever.

[Crossed_fingers 128]

UmmS, that's so disheartening, although not surprising. How did you handle the incident with the teenage girls and your hijab??