Going to Kiev in 7 days, any tips?

[baron555 934]

Aren't you jumping the gun a little. If I remember your previous posts correctly, you just recently went through a nasty divorce with a filipina and was thinking about petitioning for a Colombian lady friend. And here you are a few months later ready to put a "padlock" with an Ukrainian. I don't presume to know or understand what is going on in your life, but it would be wise to take you time with the matters of the heart.. especially since you have little girl to think of.

Another drive-by troll???

If you and her are serious about being serious, then go get serious. Don't listen to others trying to impose their beliefs on you.

[baron555 934]

I really doubt I'm gonna see anyone else but my girl, specially if she has her way

What I don't understand is why you are even considering any other women. Is this THE woman for you, or not?

If you have some doubts, if you haven't vetted each other out and predetermined that she meets ALL your criteria, and you hers, then why are you even going for a meeting? Just my opinion; I read about all sorts of men who take trip after trip and I've concluded that they are their own problem (they always blame the woman) and are not ready to make a decision. I cut loose all the other women that I was corresponding to (and my wife the same with the few guys that seem interested in her) just as we made the decision to meet). Not meaning to by pushy, but can she be the one, or not? And dont' give me that we have to meet in person to really see if there is chemistry or not....if you've been using all the tremendous communication means at our disposal these days, you should have a really strong opinion. If you have not, then yes you need to visit.

I just asked the agency to check because they were recommending that while in Kiev, I can drop by the office and meet others and have a backup plan. I'm pretty sure my girl won't let me get too far away.

No, no, no.....she wanted to meet you at the airport and she should and she can.......arrange for the agency car to pick her up and the driver and her will meet you at the airport. Giving her the rose just as you walk through the customs doors is best.

We did the same and Alla and I met first at the airport.

I used an agency car also...even though I didn't use the agency as an agency. Which one? Kiev Connections? Brett and Alla are nice people.

......

[~Johnny~ 27]

......

I think she's fully ready, but I'm the one that is holding back a bit because of my last situation. Inside I feel we are pretty a good match in that we have many of the same interests and long term goals. She's very beautiful, maybe a typical beautiful blond RUB girl but I'm sure even here in New Orleans she will get many dudes gawking at her. I think we just need to be together a few minutes before we are extremely comfy and all my past issues in my head will soon be a faint memory.

Yeah, the car service is through my apartment rental. My girl has already said a few times that I better recognize her when I arrive in Kiev,,, so I'm thinking she may do a surprise thing at KBP, we'll see. I'm using Kievrent.com for my flat based on some older posts from RUB. The car is $35 from KBP to the flat, which I understand is about average cost. The agency apartments were more expensive and seemed to be lesser quality flats. I used AFA agency mainly for the initial introduction (contact/email) and they will provide a terp/chaperone for our first hour or so just to help. We probably don't need the terp but I thought maybe my girl we feel more comfy with some assistance during our first dinner. She's very worried about her English. The AFA local agency manager in Kiev had contacted me personally. She said that my girl has not been in the system very long but she seems very sincere and smart. The local manager suggested that I not limit my visit to Kiev just one girl. I'm quite sure she's mainly thinking of making a few more dollars from me. So her advice was taken with a huge grain of salt. But I did give a few other choices in case everything just fell apart. I think my girl and I have a pretty good connection and doubt she will let me out of her sight for too long during my visit. I think after the few hrs terp service, we'll be done with the agency. I did a tour with AFA 4 years ago to Peru. The agency is good overall but I would never do a tour/social thing again. Just an FN meat market IMO and not my cup of tea.

Edited March 18, 2011 by ~Johnny~

[baron555 934]

OK, sounds like you're good to go. You'll notice that all the girls there are just normal FSU girls, just normal.

Remember, wear only black slacks and black leather shoes.

We'll all want a full report...including photos.

[Nina~ 431]

I don't ever recall petitioning a Colombian friend or even thinking about it... I went to visit a friend in Peru last November, but never a thought or a mention or anything such as a petition was ever in my mind there. I just went for some friendship, that was always the plan there. I knew that girl for years and she was worried about me. We both knew there was no magic and I still wasn't healed yet.

As far as the filipina, that was last May and the marriage was less than a month. She disappeared in June and haven't seen her since. How long is a person supposed to wait?? 1 year, 2 years??? What's the protocol?? I decided, this year, that I'm ready, that's all that counts.

Yeah, thats right... Peruvian lady friend. I just remember her being from some South American country.

Nobody is telling you what to do here. I am merely giving you another perspective to think from. Just in this thread, you have mentioned on meeting your girl for the first time, hitting on her room mate and contacting an agency in case things don't work out with her. If you treat your trip like a bride shopping expedition, unscrupulous women and agencies can smell that kind of desperation from a mile away.. Think of mcat, although I am sure you are way smarter and wiser than him. If things don't work out with your girl, you can always "take in the scenery" and go back again because there are plenty of other fish in the sea. You don't have to come home with the prize on the first try, you know what I mean.

I am probably not the best person to advice you on waiting and that was not my intention either. But I would advice you on patience and getting to know your girl thoroughly before introducing her into your daughter's life. She is at an impressionable age and probably doesn't need anymore negative female role models in her life after all the ####### your ex did.

Have fun on your trip and post some pictures!

[~Johnny~ 27]

Yeah, thats right... Peruvian lady friend. I just remember her being from some South American country.

Nobody is telling you what to do here. I am merely giving you another perspective to think from. Just in this thread, you have mentioned on meeting your girl for the first time, hitting on her room mate and contacting an agency in case things don't work out with her. If you treat your trip like a bride shopping expedition, unscrupulous women and agencies can smell that kind of desperation from a mile away.. Think of mcat, although I am sure you are way smarter and wiser than him. If things don't work out with your girl, you can always "take in the scenery" and go back again because there are plenty of other fish in the sea. You don't have to come home with the prize on the first try, you know what I mean.

Have fun on your trip and post some pictures!

Thanks for your "perspective"! It will also be used with the same large grain of salt I used with the agency manager.

And far as your message...when did I EVER mention hitting on the roommate or "shopping" for a bride??? Don't twist my words. Since when does saying a person is Hot considered "hitting" on them?

mcat?? you honestly relate my story to the same as going into a strip club to find my second half?

[Captain Hammer 113]

Johnny, I don't know if you're being trolled or not, it does seem like some people come here for the sole purpose of berating, but I do think the discussions about strip clubs, escort services, etc, give an impression to the not-so-careful reader that you're going over there basically as a sex tourist. I don't think this is the case at all, I just think you got mixed up in a bunch of unhelpful chatter.

As I've said before, people meet in a variety of circumstances and mediums. I don't think it's anyone's place to judge, whether you meet your wife at a bus stop or through a mob agency. As long as both adults are consenting and up-front, that's all that matters. I know I'm not your favorite character on these boards, but I wish you the best of luck anyway and hope all goes well.

[baron555 934]

Johnny, I don't know if you're being trolled or not, it does seem like some people come here for the sole purpose of berating, but I do think the discussions about strip clubs, escort services, etc, give an impression to the not-so-careful reader that you're going over there basically as a sex tourist. I don't think this is the case at all, I just think you got mixed up in a bunch of unhelpful chatter.

As I've said before, people meet in a variety of circumstances and mediums. I don't think it's anyone's place to judge, whether you meet your wife at a bus stop or through a mob agency. As long as both adults are consenting and up-front, that's all that matters. I know I'm not your favorite character on these boards, but I wish you the best of luck anyway and hope all goes well.

Johnny didn't mention about hitting on the friend or going to strip clubs......we other RUb posters did.

We do that because that OK as part of the rules of the RUB forum, once a thread goes past the first page (where usually the question has been answered) it is acceptable and virtually required that the thread topic change in a drastic fashion, if not to another subject altogether.

And.......MCat didn't meet his wife at a strip club.....he met her outside a social he was attending. She eventually came here and got a job here in a strip club. Haven't heard from him in a while; maybe he did move back with his mother?

[~Johnny~ 27]

Johnny, I don't know if you're being trolled or not, it does seem like some people come here for the sole purpose of berating, but I do think the discussions about strip clubs, escort services, etc, give an impression to the not-so-careful reader that you're going over there basically as a sex tourist. I don't think this is the case at all, I just think you got mixed up in a bunch of unhelpful chatter.

As I've said before, people meet in a variety of circumstances and mediums. I don't think it's anyone's place to judge, whether you meet your wife at a bus stop or through a mob agency. As long as both adults are consenting and up-front, that's all that matters. I know I'm not your favorite character on these boards, but I wish you the best of luck anyway and hope all goes well.

Yeah, personally I am trying to do everything as right as possible and learn from past mistakes and..soak in advice whenever appropriate. I think I even mentioned in this thread that I'd be waiting till August (5 months from now) for any possible petition plans because if we hit it off, we wanted to visit the parents and discuss our plans with them. The only mention of possibly meeting other girls is in the unlikely case that we don't hit it off. I just think of this as being prepared because in my mind, meeting in person is a lot different than webcam, chat, etc. It could be something like..hmmm you seemed taller on the webcam And this meeting is not a shopping trip to the meat market or a sex adventure for me. I'm a musician in a rock band and I live in New Orleans. If wanted trash like escorts and such, I could run down to Bourbon Street and get my fill.

[~Johnny~ 27]

And.......MCat didn't meet his wife at a strip club.....he met her outside a social he was attending. She eventually came here and got a job here in a strip club. Haven't heard from him in a while; maybe he did move back with his mother?

Ahhhh thanks for that clarification. I knew it was something to do with a stripper.

My girl attended one social and had nothing good to say about it. She said it was not a good experience and she felt like old meat in a market (and she's 26).

[LvivLovers 39]

Yeah, personally I am trying to do everything as right as possible and learn from past mistakes and..soak in advice whenever appropriate. I think I even mentioned in this thread that I'd be waiting till August (5 months from now) for any possible petition plans because if we hit it off, we wanted to visit the parents and discuss our plans with them. The only mention of possibly meeting other girls is in the unlikely case that we don't hit it off. I just think of this as being prepared because in my mind, meeting in person is a lot different than webcam, chat, etc. It could be something like..hmmm you seemed taller on the webcam And this meeting is not a shopping trip to the meat market or a sex adventure for me. I'm a musician in a rock band and I live in New Orleans. If wanted trash like escorts and such, I could run down to Bourbon Street and get my fill.

I definately understand the wanting to meet in person thing. My wife and I felt pretty darn sure about each other having written and skyped a ton, but we also wanted to make sure that chemistry was still there face to face. We both knew within seconds of meeting each other that it was and the rest was history.

I wouldn't worry about waiting....life is short! When it's right, it's right!

[ONA 133]

......

I don't know much about looking for a husband/wife on the net, but it really is beyond me how you can be dead sure that somebody you've been chatting to online can be THE ONE before seeing them in person. I mean.. really... how? It's easy to pretend somebody you're not when you talk over the internet.

Just to be clear: I'm not talking about the cases when you have already met, but you have to stay in touch over the net - that's typical for LDR, but when you have been chatting online, how can you know that the person is sincere and you will make a great couple?

[Captain Hammer 113]

I don't know much about looking for a husband/wife on the net, but it really is beyond me how you can be dead sure that somebody you've been chatting to online can be THE ONE before seeing them in person. I mean.. really... how? It's easy to pretend somebody you're not when you talk over the internet.

Just to be clear: I'm not talking about the cases when you have already met, but you have to stay in touch over the net - that's typical for LDR, but when you have been chatting online, how can you know that the person is sincere and you will make a great couple?

And yet it happens all the time. Take a look around Visa Journey, I bet if not the majority of couples met online, then at least a very large number of them did. As for being sincere, well if both people are motivated to find their husband/wife this way, then it is in their best interest to be honest with each other. Most people aren't looking just to marry, they're looking to marry someone compatible. So because the stakes are so high and the process is so expensive in both money and time, I'll bet people are even more motivated to be truthful with each other online than they are in a traditional relationship.

[LvivLovers 39]

I don't know much about looking for a husband/wife on the net, but it really is beyond me how you can be dead sure that somebody you've been chatting to online can be THE ONE before seeing them in person. I mean.. really... how? It's easy to pretend somebody you're not when you talk over the internet.

Just to be clear: I'm not talking about the cases when you have already met, but you have to stay in touch over the net - that's typical for LDR, but when you have been chatting online, how can you know that the person is sincere and you will make a great couple?

I'll be honest. In my case, everything seemed great but I could not be 100% sure my wife was even real until having metter her in person! Until I saw her face to face I still had that worry...especially because everyone I told about my situation was so skeptical. You know the old saying..."If it seems too good to be true, it probably is." So for me there was a huge sigh of relief when I confirmed that yes...everything WAS what it seemed to be.

Sort of a funny story...about a week before I was to go visit, we had a huge email argument...I thought she might be a scammer and she wasn't sure about me either. I ended up cancelling my plane ticket and we broke things off. After a few days of going over things in my head I finally was convinced she was not a scammer (only a real woman could act THAT crazy...no offense ladies...). Took me another couple days to patch things up with her...I actually talked to her mother who finally calmed her down! Ended up buying a new plane ticket to fly out on Christmas Eve which cost about 2-3x more than my original ticket. After about 30 hours of travelling (yes the tickets sucked also), I was contemplating the whole situation and thinking about how angry I had made her just a few days earlier. The thought entered my mind that if she had been a scammer or even just really angry, it would be some great revenge to invite me all the way to Ukraine and leave me hanging.

Long story short, I got into the airport which was really just a building that connects to a big parking lot (runway). All the baggage was in a single room which connected to the main room where people were waiting. I got my bags and went out to the main room where there were about 100 people standing around greeting arrivals. I didn't see her anywhere but it was still pretty crowded so I waited for it to thin down. Finally got down to about 20 people...then 10....then 5....nope...not there! Within about 5-10 mins, the entire airport (room) was empty except for me and 3 police/security guards. I grabbed my stuff and went and sat on one of several benches. I had already thought about this scenario, so either way I was prepared to make the best of it. After a few minutes, one of the guards, who had already noticed me as being out of place, approached me and started speaking in Ukrainian or Russian (no idea which since I don't speak a word of either). I asked if he spoke any English....nope. He went to get a couple more guards.

At this point, I was like Oh S#$% because they seemed pretty serious. All my years of growing up watching Russian bad guys on TV was replaying in my head. Finally, one of the guards started to speak to me in very broken English. I explained enough that he understood I was here to meet someone that hadn't showed up. He pulled out his mobile phone and motioned with it. I had all my important info printed out on a sheet of paper just in case something like this happened....so I pulled it out and pointed at her number. He took the sheet and disappeared into some side room. After a few minutes went by (of which I was contemplating that now I didn't have my emergency contact sheet either), he finally appeared again and handed back my paper. He then raised his arm and showed me his watch making a motion with his other finger from the 12 to the 3. So I finally realized at that point that my girl would be there to pick me up in 15 minutes and I was not up the proverbial creek without a paddle.

My connections had gotten delayed a few times and I arrived several hours later than originally planned. Apparently, when she had called the airline, they had given her wrong information and thus she wasn't expecting my flight until much later. We took a cab back to my hotel, checked in and dropped off my stuff, and it was off to our first dinner (and my first borscht). The rest is history!

[~Johnny~ 27]

I'll be honest. In my case, everything seemed great but I could not be 100% sure my wife was even real until having metter her in person! Until I saw her face to face I still had that worry...especially because everyone I told about my situation was so skeptical. You know the old saying..."If it seems too good to be true, it probably is." So for me there was a huge sigh of relief when I confirmed that yes...everything WAS what it seemed to be.

Sort of a funny story...about a week before I was to go visit, we had a huge email argument...I thought she might be a scammer and she wasn't sure about me either. I ended up cancelling my plane ticket and we broke things off. After a few days of going over things in my head I finally was convinced she was not a scammer (only a real woman could act THAT crazy...no offense ladies...). Took me another couple days to patch things up with her...I actually talked to her mother who finally calmed her down! Ended up buying a new plane ticket to fly out on Christmas Eve which cost about 2-3x more than my original ticket. After about 30 hours of travelling (yes the tickets sucked also), I was contemplating the whole situation and thinking about how angry I had made her just a few days earlier. The thought entered my mind that if she had been a scammer or even just really angry, it would be some great revenge to invite me all the way to Ukraine and leave me hanging.

Pretty funny, but I can definitely relate as it's similar to my situation. Actually, that's the reason I decided to let the apartment service pick me up because I wasn't sure when I made reservations if my girl could get that time free from work. And because of being burned once, I always have that little skeptical evil jeanie on my shoulder that won't believe anything until it's proven. I'm not 100% sure of anything at this point and the hope is that it will all make sense when we finally meet and come together. I think worse case is that we don't hit it off and I still enjoy a wonderful city. And of course best case is a possble beautiful Ukraine woman to share in my life and future. I'm romantic so I think a padlock with our names on it is good gesture. It's not a marriage proposal. Just starting to wonder how to sneak that in my pocket all day.

As far as skeptics, we don't want to get into the wonderful "mail order bride" "GCC" comments from my family, friends and band mates. My dad says "What's wrong with American girls?, Try one ya might like em!" I think the women friends I have by far have given me the worse comments about girls from FSU (they tend to include the words trashy and ####### in their descriptions and most have never met an FSU girl). Most of the guys make snipe little comments about young hotties..but the women comments can be vicious... One of my women friends even said, "you know 9 out 10 Russian girls marry an American for a green card?" I said, where'd ya get from? She said it's common knowledge...I used to think this girl was smart...