People of VJ

[one...two...tree 2,762]

Not sure I understand the context of your first question, but of course she is not 'wrong'. She's entitled to her feelings just like everyone else is. IMHO, the high road would have been to address the offenders directly and privately. But perhaps I'm missing your point, which is entirely possible after the day I've had...

Since VJers are drawn to drama like bees to honey, the public display only serves to perpetuate the henpecking.... but, you're right. This forum has been created for the sharing of information and support. If someone chooses to make a private matter public, then they should expect the consequences. That's the nature of the internet and no one here is going to change that.

Jen

That's the only part (red) that I disagree with. It presumes that there should be a response for every post here... I read her goodbye VJ and didn't respond. If I felt compelled to reprimand her for using the public forum then I would've told her so in a PM. Which is what I mean about taking the high road - as soon as you publicly reprimand someone for using a public forum to vent about mistreatment, you've made yourself into a hypocrite....which I think I just made myself into one right now...

Edited September 2, 2006 by Steven_and_Jinky

[RiggerAF 0]

Well first off Doc, thank you for your service to this country. I really do mean that

Secondly....from what I'm told...the grammar correction wasn't even idirected to your fiance...and as you can see, she made a big hoo-ha 'goodbye' thread. Now what's all your drama for? You came here on half a story to defend your woman's virtue for no reason whatsoever. You have no right to come here to tell us how to behave.

Not everyone even saw the thread that apparantly upset her so much...so instead of talking to your fiance and finding out who actually upset her & then dealing with it PRIVATELY with said people, you come here to make more oft he hoo ha circus freak show. You tell people to grow up, yet you're perpetuating the same drama bullsh!t that you claim to be so annoyed by.

Thanks for your thanks from what was explained to me she recieve messages outside of the forum that weren't nice and that were rude and cruel. And yes she "made a big hoo ha" about it cause she is sensitive to cruel comments now I am not saying it was everyone that post was directed towards the individual or individuals who made the comments. My issue arises when people are so critical of people who are on a third language learned. It just makes me angry when people get pissy about it. And yeah she prolly over reacted and I'll talk to her about that later. But yeah the comments are for the individual or individuals who sent the messages.

So if your issue was with a 'select' number of ppl...why is this a 'people of vj' thread?

You should have taken it up specifically in pvt...where according to you it started...not brought it out here to give us all a verbal lashing....You say your issue is when ppl are so critical? Look at how you've come out guns a blazin to everyone.

the original post said nowt about 'certain posters' or private messages...you joined and basically thought you'd come and 'put us all straight' which I think is presumptuous, rude, and actually quite unneccessary.

Ma'am,

I didn't know who made the original comments to my fiancee so by me posting what I posted it would aply to those guilty if you have issues with my post then thats fine I am not here to make people happy but someone insulted my fiancee and you are damn skippy I was going to come and defend her. I couldn't say I loved her if I let that slide. Now as far as my post saying you're good I meant what I posted You are good hence you're good. My point is stop being so critical of peoples posts it's a damn forum meaning mean why can't people get over themselves about peoples posts and just read what it reads if you can't understand what it means then fine but if you are just correcting little things because it bothers you go have a drink or something and learn to deal with unhappiness cause life will be full of it

[KarenCee 3]

Sometimes asking one to type or spell more clearly is needed for that individual to be helped when asking for advice. There is a small icon next to the font and size area. It has an abc with a check mark underneath it. That's spell check. A very valuable tool. I've used it many times, and English is my native language.

[JenT 0]

Not sure I understand the context of your first question, but of course she is not 'wrong'. She's entitled to her feelings just like everyone else is. IMHO, the high road would have been to address the offenders directly and privately. But perhaps I'm missing your point, which is entirely possible after the day I've had...

Since VJers are drawn to drama like bees to honey, the public display only serves to perpetuate the henpecking.... but, you're right. This forum has been created for the sharing of information and support. If someone chooses to make a private matter public, then they should expect the consequences. That's the nature of the internet and no one here is going to change that.

Jen

That's the only part (red) that I disagree with. It presumes that there should be a response for every post here... I read her goodbye VJ and didn't respond. If I felt compelled to reprimand her for using the public forum then I would've told her so in a PM. Which is what I mean about taking the high road - as soon as you publicly reprimand someone for using a public forum to vent about mistreatment, you've made yourself into a hypocrite....which I think I just made myself into one right now...

I understand what you're saying. By "consequences", I didn't mean to imply that they were all going to be negative... some will support, some will challenge, some will be flippant, some will read and move on... but if someone posts on a public forum, they should expect any or all of the above. I was merely suggesting an alternative to the public drama, if someone is so sensitive as to not be able to handle the responses.

[Fandango 1,439]

Well first off Doc, thank you for your service to this country. I really do mean that

Secondly....from what I'm told...the grammar correction wasn't even idirected to your fiance...and as you can see, she made a big hoo-ha 'goodbye' thread. Now what's all your drama for? You came here on half a story to defend your woman's virtue for no reason whatsoever. You have no right to come here to tell us how to behave.

Not everyone even saw the thread that apparantly upset her so much...so instead of talking to your fiance and finding out who actually upset her & then dealing with it PRIVATELY with said people, you come here to make more oft he hoo ha circus freak show. You tell people to grow up, yet you're perpetuating the same drama bullsh!t that you claim to be so annoyed by.

Thanks for your thanks from what was explained to me she recieve messages outside of the forum that weren't nice and that were rude and cruel. And yes she "made a big hoo ha" about it cause she is sensitive to cruel comments now I am not saying it was everyone that post was directed towards the individual or individuals who made the comments. My issue arises when people are so critical of people who are on a third language learned. It just makes me angry when people get pissy about it. And yeah she prolly over reacted and I'll talk to her about that later. But yeah the comments are for the individual or individuals who sent the messages.

So if your issue was with a 'select' number of ppl...why is this a 'people of vj' thread?

You should have taken it up specifically in pvt...where according to you it started...not brought it out here to give us all a verbal lashing....You say your issue is when ppl are so critical? Look at how you've come out guns a blazin to everyone.

the original post said nowt about 'certain posters' or private messages...you joined and basically thought you'd come and 'put us all straight' which I think is presumptuous, rude, and actually quite unneccessary.

Ma'am,

I didn't know who made the original comments to my fiancee so by me posting what I posted it would aply to those guilty if you have issues with my post then thats fine I am not here to make people happy but someone insulted my fiancee and you are damn skippy I was going to come and defend her. I couldn't say I loved her if I let that slide. Now as far as my post saying you're good I meant what I posted You are good hence you're good. My point is stop being so critical of peoples posts it's a damn forum meaning mean why can't people get over themselves about peoples posts and just read what it reads if you can't understand what it means then fine but if you are just correcting little things because it bothers you go have a drink or something and learn to deal with unhappiness cause life will be full of it

I was teasing you about the you're/your thing...it was meant in lightheartedness, hence the

And if you didn't know who pizzed her off....don't you think you should've gotten the whole story before telling the 'people of vj' to stop being so critical? I stand by my notion that it's awfully presumptuous & unneccessary. I'm not telling you that you shouldn't defend your woman....but firstly, an internet board is hardly real life...there are many boards where the posters act like animals...and had this been one of those...I can tell you your reception wouldn't have been so politely rec'd. And seconYou're never going to 'set someone straight' on a message board...it's sweet that you did...but as Jen said...misguided in the fact that this should have been dealt with privately instead of making this a board issue.

[meauxna 15]

OMG, sweet Luz, who's teaching you these colloquial phrases?!

<gasp>

rofl

[RiggerAF 0]

You will find that there are several people in this forum who don't care about anything but posting snappy comebacks and little pictures. And before I get insulted for this I want to state quite clearly that I am not referring to any one person in particular. I've gotten sucked in a time or two myself and have huge regrets. There are individuals that seem to forget real human beings are behind these screen names and that not everyone can be whatever ideal they hold of an individual who DOESN"T deserve ridicule, flaming, insulting, and humiliating. Its unfortunate, but its so. You may want to advise your fiance that not spending a lot of time here is a good idea. I am doing the same. This process is painful and frustrating enough without the henpecking. For those who feel the need to insult me for what I've written here, ask yourself why you feel that need. If you aren't guilty no need to holler.

To anyone I have ever said a course word to, I apologize. I wish everyone in this journey well.

this is partly the reason why I think this thread was a bad idea..because it invites speculation that VJ is just some awful unsupportive place....for you to say that 'not spending time here is a good idea'...I think that's a horrible way to look at VJ. Yes there are fights and silly things and tensions run high...but we are all good people here who help each other. Sometimes we let off steam, sometimes we run each other over with MAC trucks, sometimes we post silly pictures....but just as often (if not moreso) the same people can turn around and offer each other support, help each other thru a hard time, lend an ear and a shoulder, and offer constructive advice. If you think THAT'S not worth stickin around for...well then I dunno what to say.

This board didn't run off his fiance...she had a pvt issue with some (one? two? i dunno!) posters...now all of a sudden VJ's just sh!te...

VJ one big dysfunctional family. Not always lollies and rainbows...but it's real.

I have no quarls with the people of VJ it was posted to get attention because I do not know who it was who made the comments now however I have found alot of help through VJ so to the people who are of a help to everyone and don't get excuse me do not get upset about little grammar things holla and love ya'll excuse me you all are great. hahahaha (i'm poking fun)

I have alot of respect and admiration for this forum but my comments were strickly for the person's who sent those messages and the reason I brought it out in to the public is because it needs addressed not swept under the carpet. I am getting my feelings out about this because I am quite upset about it but you are right I did get it out and I am fine to leave it at that hahaha.

Well first off Doc, thank you for your service to this country. I really do mean that

Secondly....from what I'm told...the grammar correction wasn't even idirected to your fiance...and as you can see, she made a big hoo-ha 'goodbye' thread. Now what's all your drama for? You came here on half a story to defend your woman's virtue for no reason whatsoever. You have no right to come here to tell us how to behave.

Not everyone even saw the thread that apparantly upset her so much...so instead of talking to your fiance and finding out who actually upset her & then dealing with it PRIVATELY with said people, you come here to make more oft he hoo ha circus freak show. You tell people to grow up, yet you're perpetuating the same drama bullsh!t that you claim to be so annoyed by.

Thanks for your thanks from what was explained to me she recieve messages outside of the forum that weren't nice and that were rude and cruel. And yes she "made a big hoo ha" about it cause she is sensitive to cruel comments now I am not saying it was everyone that post was directed towards the individual or individuals who made the comments. My issue arises when people are so critical of people who are on a third language learned. It just makes me angry when people get pissy about it. And yeah she prolly over reacted and I'll talk to her about that later. But yeah the comments are for the individual or individuals who sent the messages.

So if your issue was with a 'select' number of ppl...why is this a 'people of vj' thread?

You should have taken it up specifically in pvt...where according to you it started...not brought it out here to give us all a verbal lashing....You say your issue is when ppl are so critical? Look at how you've come out guns a blazin to everyone.

the original post said nowt about 'certain posters' or private messages...you joined and basically thought you'd come and 'put us all straight' which I think is presumptuous, rude, and actually quite unneccessary.

Ma'am,

I didn't know who made the original comments to my fiancee so by me posting what I posted it would aply to those guilty if you have issues with my post then thats fine I am not here to make people happy but someone insulted my fiancee and you are damn skippy I was going to come and defend her. I couldn't say I loved her if I let that slide. Now as far as my post saying you're good I meant what I posted You are good hence you're good. My point is stop being so critical of peoples posts it's a damn forum meaning mean why can't people get over themselves about peoples posts and just read what it reads if you can't understand what it means then fine but if you are just correcting little things because it bothers you go have a drink or something and learn to deal with unhappiness cause life will be full of it

I was teasing you about the you're/your thing...it was meant in lightheartedness, hence the

And if you didn't know who pizzed her off....don't you think you should've gotten the whole story before telling the 'people of vj' to stop being so critical? I stand by my notion that it's awfully presumptuous & unneccessary. I'm not telling you that you shouldn't defend your woman....but firstly, an internet board is hardly real life...there are many boards where the posters act like animals...and had this been one of those...I can tell you your reception wouldn't have been so politely rec'd. And seconYou're never going to 'set someone straight' on a message board...it's sweet that you did...but as Jen said...misguided in the fact that this should have been dealt with privately instead of making this a board issue.

My fault I didn't see that so yeah anyway hehehe no I brought it out to address it publicly because we are a family and we should look out for each other. You would be darn sure I would defend you if someone was saying something mean. Also cultural differences may not be mean but may be mean to someone else and yes I agree she over reacted and i will talk to her about that but it still didn't excuse the comments made to her. yes she is a dramaqueen but she is mine and I love her too much to let someone say something mean or cruel now i'm not saying everyone said it I am addressing everyone about the situation.

[Veiled Princess 1]

my point to that was that no white person every started here in america we took it from the native americans so we are all imigrants or decendents there of

I descended from the Cherokee, so does that make me a non immigrant?

Also a non-immigrant here.... white man go home

what thread was it that upset and who is your fiance?

Edited September 3, 2006 by Veiled Princess

[KarenCee 3]

She says she had it deleted by Ewok.

As for that top portion of your quote VP, that wasn't my words.

And yes, the white man did take the land from the Cherokee. But that is history, and I'm certainly not holding any grudges, nor is it causing me to feel any racism or hatred.

Another episode of Days of our Visa Lives, brought to you by the USCIS.

Edited September 3, 2006 by KarenCee

[Buttons 0]

the guy is standing up for his fiancee -- I find it admirable. Wouldn't you want your s/o to do the same. Even if you were wrong ?

[meauxna 15]

I have no quarls with the people of VJ it was posted to get attention because I do not know who it was who made the comments now

<snip>

I have alot of respect and admiration for this forum but my comments were strickly for the person's who sent those messages and the reason I brought it out in to the public is because it needs addressed not swept under the carpet.

There was a whole bunch more to leave but the quote marks are making my old eyes blur.

So I'll start with this part left above:

Oh hell no you don't.

If you're adult enough to be petitioning someone to come be your spouse, you're old enough to know that you go get your information FIRST and then deal with your problem. There is no Vj Headquarters where all of us signed up--we don't belong to any club. Over half of us don't know each other in the least, and most of us hate some percentage of people here.

YOUR female had a problem privately with someone--you ask HER who that person was and deal with it privately. I have no need to be "schooled" by your public airings, and you've proved your method quite ineffective. This message did NOT belong in public, this whole matter, including the defending of her honor, belongs in *private*.

Sir Steven brings up a good point--there is no common nettiquette here---one good thing to say for Usenet; at least people there agreed on how to be dicks to each other.

edit to add: it's hot, I'm grumpy and I have to go paint. Ignore the flamethrower if it makes you have a better weekend. I'm sometimes nicer.

Edited September 3, 2006 by meauxna

[gimygirl 0]

meaux ... meaux ...

[Artegal 1]

Who would make fun of another member's Grammar and Spelling?

[ceriserose 1]

I have no quarls with the people of VJ it was posted to get attention because I do not know who it was who made the comments now

<snip>

I have alot of respect and admiration for this forum but my comments were strickly for the person's who sent those messages and the reason I brought it out in to the public is because it needs addressed not swept under the carpet.

There was a whole bunch more to leave but the quote marks are making my old eyes blur.

So I'll start with this part left above:

Oh hell no you don't.

If you're adult enough to be petitioning someone to come be your spouse, you're old enough to know that you go get your information FIRST and then deal with your problem. There is no Vj Headquarters where all of us signed up--we don't belong to any club. Over half of us don't know each other in the least, and most of us hate some percentage of people here.

YOUR female had a problem privately with someone--you ask HER who that person was and deal with it privately. I have no need to be "schooled" by your public airings, and you've proved your method quite ineffective. This message did NOT belong in public, this whole matter, including the defending of her honor, belongs in *private*.

Sir Steven brings up a good point--there is no common nettiquette here---one good thing to say for Usenet; at least people there agreed on how to be dicks to each other.

edit to add: it's hot, I'm grumpy and I have to go paint. Ignore the flamethrower if it makes you have a better weekend. I'm sometimes nicer.

Yes, I agree...but if all this stuff stays private from where (oh where) will we all get drama? I'm almost out of House M.D. episodes...

Who would make fun of another member's Grammar and Spelling?

Okay that almost made me spew my drink. Good thing for you Artegal that it's not alcohol.

[gimygirl 0]