home sick before even leaving?

[thelastpetitioner 218]

So I sent in packet 3 like two days ago,and I'm already homesick.

My mom is a single mother,and I'm an only child,the thought of leaving her behind,is just heart breaking.

BUT there is my fiance,who has gone through hell with me,literally,not even kidding,and he loves me and he has been alone for enough and I can't bail on him.

For the first time ever in my lifetime,I have grown a conscious. I feel guilty,for falling in love and leaving my mom behind,but then I feel guilty,for putting my fiance through so much and talking about homesickness before we are even married.I'm freakin clueless as to what to do.

And I can't talk to anyone around me here,because to majority of Iranians, moving out of the country is a big deal,what I have,relationship AND opportunity wise is beyond what most of the girls my age here expect and what,but I'm just not happy.

Any advice,tips or suggestions?

[Barbara J 115]

So I sent in packet 3 like two days ago,and I'm already homesick.

My mom is a single mother,and I'm an only child,the thought of leaving her behind,is just heart breaking.

BUT there is my fiance,who has gone through hell with me,literally,not even kidding,and he loves me and he has been alone for enough and I can't bail on him.

For the first time ever in my lifetime,I have grown a conscious. I feel guilty,for falling in love and leaving my mom behind,but then I feel guilty,for putting my fiance through so much and talking about homesickness before we are even married.I'm freakin clueless as to what to do.

And I can't talk to anyone around me here,because to majority of Iranians, moving out of the country is a big deal,what I have,relationship AND opportunity wise is beyond what most of the girls my age here expect and what,but I'm just not happy.

Any advice,tips or suggestions?

Don't know what to tell you really but I left to come here and left my 2 daughters who are grown but I miss them every day but it gets easier as time goes by. I love my new husband and don't want to be anywhere else but here with him.

[faithinGod 8]

So I sent in packet 3 like two days ago,and I'm already homesick.

My mom is a single mother,and I'm an only child,the thought of leaving her behind,is just heart breaking.

BUT there is my fiance,who has gone through hell with me,literally,not even kidding,and he loves me and he has been alone for enough and I can't bail on him.

For the first time ever in my lifetime,I have grown a conscious. I feel guilty,for falling in love and leaving my mom behind,but then I feel guilty,for putting my fiance through so much and talking about homesickness before we are even married.I'm freakin clueless as to what to do.

And I can't talk to anyone around me here,because to majority of Iranians, moving out of the country is a big deal,what I have,relationship AND opportunity wise is beyond what most of the girls my age here expect and what,but I'm just not happy.

Any advice,tips or suggestions?

I know EXACLY what you feel, i`m a single child too and it broke my heart to leave my parents, i cried all the way here on the plane. when i got here i started talking bout how i can`t wait to go back to visit my parents. I`ve been here a little over a month now and it`s getting better, i talk to my parents on the phone every day 1 or 2 times a day and it gets better every day, trust me.

Just hang in there, i know how it feels!

[Tero 105]

"Eventually, the bird would have to leave the nest you know"

[thelastpetitioner 218]

"Eventually, the bird would have to leave the nest you know"

i would have no problem leaving,if i knew that she wouldnt be alone.i wont be able to come back to iran,because my fiance is active duty military ,and they butcher american citzens and greencard holders in iran,so it will be visiting once a year somewhere other than home thing,while my mother is here all alone.its a horrible thought,and the list of the things that could go wrong goes on and on.

I know EXACLY what you feel, i`m a single child too and it broke my heart to leave my parents, i cried all the way here on the plane. when i got here i started talking bout how i can`t wait to go back to visit my parents. I`ve been here a little over a month now and it`s getting better, i talk to my parents on the phone every day 1 or 2 times a day and it gets better every day, trust me.

Just hang in there, i know how it feels!

it really feels better to know its normal and im not the only one feeling like this.thanks.

Edited March 11, 2011 by thelastpetitioner

[Tero 105]

i would have no problem leaving,if i knew that she wouldnt be alone.i wont be able to come back to iran,because my fiance is active duty military ,and they butcher american citzens and greencard holders in iran,so it will be visiting once a year somewhere other than home thing,while my mother is here all alone.its a horrible thought,and the list of the things that could go wrong goes on and on.

You and your fiance could file for her to join you later. She would be helpful when you start having babies.

Edited March 11, 2011 by Tero

[thelastpetitioner 218]

You and you fiance could file for her to join you later. She would be helpful when you start having babies.

unfortunately she isnt very keen on the idea of moving at 56.she refuses to get married or move to canada where my uncle lives.i know the possibilities of things going wrong the way do in my brain are very low,but i cant help it.

[faithinGod 8]

it really feels better to know its normal and im not the only one feeling like this.thanks.

No , you`re not the only one!

I didn`t think it would affect me this much though untill i actually bought the ticket and started packing!I have traveled for relatively long periods of time and never suffered of homesickness, but now , in the process of deciding wich items i`d be taking with me and wich i`d leave behind, i realized i`m actually moving, not just traveling!!!And that`s when it hit me!

Feeling much better now though, and my parents too , they hear it in my voice that i`m happy with my fiancee and i hear it in their voice that their worries are gone!

[thelastpetitioner 218]

No , you`re not the only one!

I didn`t think it would affect me this much though untill i actually bought the ticket and started packing!I have traveled for relatively long periods of time and never suffered of homesickness, but now , in the process of deciding wich items i`d be taking with me and wich i`d leave behind, i realized i`m actually moving, not just traveling!!!And that`s when it hit me!

Feeling much better now though, and my parents too , they hear it in my voice that i`m happy with my fiancee and i hear it in their voice that their worries are gone!

i know,after i sent the package and started to check it on dhl and then the embassy website i realized im leaving for good,and it just broke me.i try to spend as much time as possible with her,doing new year shopping ( the iranian new year is exactly in one week,god knows how hard this will be as it is my " last year ) even tho the streets are crowded and busy,picking her up from work,but its not getting any easier.

i wish i felt like this when i was 15 to 18

[faithinGod 8]

i wish i felt like this when i was 15 to 18

I KNOW, RIGHT? LOL back then it seemed like all i wanted to do was to leave home!lol

But that was "within normal" at the timeas i was a teenager, they all want to leave home!lol

[thelastpetitioner 218]

I KNOW, RIGHT? LOL back then it seemed like all i wanted to do was to leave home!lol

But that was "within normal" at the timeas i was a teenager, they all want to leave home!lol

i think if i knew back then i would be leaving like this,i would have felt the way i do now.

i think it gets specially tense in teenager years for only childs,because we are the only ones around,all parents do is focus on you and nothing and no one else

[faithinGod 8]

i think if i knew back then i would be leaving like this,i would have felt the way i do now.

i think it gets specially tense in teenager years for only childs,because we are the only ones around,all parents do is focus on you and nothing and no one else

yeah, that`s true!It`s harder for them now too, when we leave home because we`re all they have!

But as i said, in time, things get much better!

Think about that when it gets hard!

[Y&E 12]

I totally agree. I had a breakdown like that when I went to visit my parents where they live just before we got approved for the visa. I think that even though we'd all moved away from NZ and been apart for 3 years at that point it was always in my mind that we'd all end up back there together eventually. I'm also an only child so I have the worry of what will happen when they get older and need help from me. However, we all talked about it and they wanted me to do what made me happy and not to worry about them. And now I'm here and married I am settling in, but I still want to go back to NZ to live with my husband so I'm working on him for that :-) I think that every couple works things out in a way that suits them. I'm sure that once you're here you will be happy and your mum will be happy for you. Good luck whatever you decide to do.

[faithinGod 8]

I totally agree. I had a breakdown like that when I went to visit my parents where they live just before we got approved for the visa. I think that even though we'd all moved away from NZ and been apart for 3 years at that point it was always in my mind that we'd all end up back there together eventually. I'm also an only child so I have the worry of what will happen when they get older and need help from me. However, we all talked about it and they wanted me to do what made me happy and not to worry about them. And now I'm here and married I am settling in, but I still want to go back to NZ to live with my husband so I'm working on him for that :-) I think that every couple works things out in a way that suits them. I'm sure that once you're here you will be happy and your mum will be happy for you. Good luck whatever you decide to do.

you are right, the biggest worry is what will happen when they become old!

But like you said, things will work out eventually and every couple finds their own way to make them work!

[Crossed_fingers 128]

Aww, this is a really touching, heartwarming thread. I don't have any advice, but I just wanted to send along my best wishes to the OP and others in this thread who have either already made the big move or still see it on the horizon.