American Citizen with an Irish Girlfriend

[IrishAmerica 0]

First off, I'm so glad I found this forum. We've been lost for awhile now searching for answers. So thanks for the resource!

I am an America citizen, my girlfriend (for the past year) is an Irish citizen. Her and her family own a house here, and have been coming here for around 20 years now (every time on visa waivers).

We fell in love, but now she has to leave in a few days, perhaps for up to 9 months. When I first met her she was on a J1 visa (internship) for a year, then she had to go home (in Oct 2010), she returned around Christmas time on a visa waiver and is now due to go back to Ireland.

She originally believe she could get a J1 visa again after this waiver expired, but was recently told she couldn't because although she deferred her enrollment, she was told that because she hadn't taken classes in over a year, she was ineligible.

Now to where we currently stand. Our worst fear is that she might have to leave until she can (at worst) be able to come back over again at the beginning of next year on the waiver.

We would honestly like more time to figure everything out together before doing anything rash like getting married, but the way these visas are working out it makes it difficult. She never intended to be a immigrate, we were just testing the waters together and seeing how things went. Although we are fairly sure now we'd eventually like to get married, we are still young, and our families aren't thrilled at the idea of doing it so soon. But if it is between that, and her having to leave for an indefinite period of time, then I'd say it is worth the chance.

So we are between a few options, and aren't really sure which would be best, so I'm hoping someone here might be able to give us some much needed advice.

The way I see our options now:

1) She goes home, and hopes to get a B1/B2 (or even J1?) visa and is able to return, giving us more time to actually figure out our lives. (I know coming over on one of those you aren't supposed to _intend_ to stay).

2) We get married immediately (she'd have to leave in a few days, or else overstay her visa).

3) Overstay her visa for a short period of time (under 6 months), allowing our families to come over for a wedding. This would be both of our top choices (if she had a poor chance of getting another visa soon), but what is holding us back is: If she returned back home, would she then be banned from the US ? (both if we got married, and if we didn't... we don't know how it all works).

I apologize for the lengthy story, I could really use any advice I can find on this matter.

Thanks in advance!

[Penguin_ie 5,995]

Overstaying on the Visa Waiver program used to be forgiven if you married and Adjust Status, but not anymore. So I would strongly recommend you DO NOT do this. An overstay of less than 180 days, then going back home to get the visa processed is generally forgiven, but will raise a red flag/ questions at the interview. Overstay also means she could no longer visit on the VWP afterwards. So I recommend she go back home before her 90 days are up, and you guys can apply for a K1 (fiance) visa, or get married later when you are ready, then apply for a CR-1 (spousal) visa.

On the positive side, she does not have to wait a year to visit- she just needs to be outside of the US more than inside. So she should be able to visit in 4 months or so, and throughout your visa process.

Would she consider studying in the US? Getting a student (F1) visa is fairly easy.

[Harsh_77 718]

I think penguin has given you some good advice.

Option 1 – she can apply for B1/B2 but max she can stay in US on it is 6 months (assuming it gets approved)

2 – Never overstay your visa, that is total NO NO ( you never know when this will come and bite you)

3 – The best option could be she apply for F1 (if she has real intention of going to school here)

4 – You continue your long distance relation; she can come and visit you in next 4 months on VWP for next few months and then she returns back home. Whenever you guys ready to get married you can file for a K1 visa for her and she can come to US and you guys can get married and apply for CR1 at this point.

5 – Or you and your family can go back there and get married and you file for her CR1 and then she can come and join you.

All this time make sure she never overstays her visa – it might not seem bad initially, but can create lot of problems.

[missaero 7]

Yeah overstay = bad news!

You seem a little conflicted about how you want to proceed based on where you are at in your relationship with this girl. Have you considered going to Ireland for a few months? (I don't know if this is possible for you if you have a job, are a student etc).

If you are a student, how about a summer or study abroad in Ireland? There are some great schools around though most are concentrated in Dublin.