Why Are Most Guys Afraid Of Kids?

[extremerecluse 32]

My ex is a Filipina. Her father was in the US Marine Corps. He was born in San Miguel Bulacan. My ex was a citizen by birth, even though she lived the first 30 years of her life as a Filipina. The embassy contacted her and her siblings to see if they wanted the opportunity to become US Citizens. Three accepted the offer. Two did not. My ex was separated from her spouse and living with me in the US. She divorced him. She never actually told me she had kids until one year into our relationship. She was scared to death of what my reaction would be; of course. She had four kids I later learned. But she waited until the right time to inform me (after I was totally head over heels in love). When you actually love somebody with all your being you will do anything for her. That is exactly what I did. We petitioned for them and they arrived in 1985. I was in the US Army as a Warrant Officer. My ex became pregnant two months before she traveled to the Philippines to help them process through the embassy. We had a great marriage until the kids started moving out. Depression set in and all hell broke loose. Divorce occurred in 2005. Met my fiance online after making the decision to move on in 2010. Stated that I wanted kids for obvious reasons. More mature, loving and knows how to sacrifice. So, that is what I chose for a new partner. Traveled to San Ildefonso to meet her in Oct 2010. I knew that I would be spending the rest of my life with her the moment I laid my eyes on her. Yes she has kids and I love them all as my own. My ex kids and my son are grown and independent now. I have my own life and I want to live it as I wish. I see most guys on this website want nothing to do with single mothers. Hey guys; you don't know what you are missing. You want stability, a nurturer, wisdom and passion that won't quit; choose a single mother. Kids are survivors and they will accept you if you are just yourself and you love their mom like no other. I would like to know from anybody who would like to express an opinion. I love my Marilou so very, very much. I want her so badly, but I must be patient. This process is a long one and that is the one we chose together. Input requested by all who dare.

[Myopia 93]

Awww so sweet. I have children and my husband has none. He loves my kids a lot. I dont know if its been easy but it is working. Big props to the men who love children who arent theirs by blood.

[Kish.2328 9]

I am single mom and my fiance loves my son as if its his own and I love his son so much too (he is such a sweet boy). When my fiance was still here with me, he and my son get along so well and me and his son is doing great too. His son is 14 and mine is 7 so the age gap between them doesn't show any competition. His son treat my son as his younger brother and both of them get along so well just fine. (L)

[extremerecluse 32]

I am single mom and my fiance loves my son as if its his own and I love his son so much too (he is such a sweet boy). When my fiance was still here with me, he and my son get along so well and me and his son is doing great too. His son is 14 and mine is 7 so the age gap between them doesn't show any competition. His son treat my son as his younger brother and both of them get along so well just fine. (L)

Come on guys. I don't want this to be for only the ladies. Come on; where are your BA*&^; in your throat?

[RICARDO4EVA2 194]

Not wanting to be tied down ... Women think that is a trap for a man but it does not.

[extremerecluse 32]

Not wanting to be tied down ... Women think that is a trap for a man but it does not.

A trap? You mean like the Venus Fly Trap; where the plant closes around you quickly before you have any idea what is happening?

[extremerecluse 32]

A trap? You mean like the Venus Fly Trap; where the plant closes around you quickly before you have any idea what is happening?

Single mothers are the best lovers in the world!!!!

[RICARDO4EVA2 194]

A trap? You mean like the Venus Fly Trap; where the plant closes around you quickly before you have any idea what is happening?

women may think that is that it the way to marriage hence keep a man

[adillabbas 0]

I just read this and wanted to send my reply...

I married a single mother who has 4 beautiful children and they are so good to me understand our relationship respect me and i love them so much ...i never feel like they arent my blood and we talk everyday and help them with their stuff like homework and cleaning house and we miss eachother like hell and want to be together soon

my experience is quite good...i never thought i would marry a woman with children but im glad i did...and i love her more than anything and are planning on having our own baby one day inshallah...if your love is strong then nothing can stop either of you..not even children

i love them more than myself...cant imagine life without them now and inshallah we will be together soon Ameen

[James and Cynthia 70]

Male USC here. I love kids. I adopted my ex-wife's two kids shortly after we got married. I then had two of my own. The marriage wasn't good, but I still love my kids. My fiancee has a 5 year old daughter. My kids are all getting older now. I remember the younger years with them. I'm excited to have a chance to share that again with my fiancee.

-James

[rika60607 215]

Kids cost money... a lot of money... surely you know that?

[tru_loves_journey 117]

Kids cost money... a lot of money... surely you know that?

Money? What's money good for if you don't have someone to LOVE and SHARE LIFE WITH? Yes, Children are expensive but Let me say there's no life worth living without them....Who cares about Money if you die alone

[rika60607 215]

I care about money... if I do not have enough to bring up one child well fed and with access to good healthcare, I will not willingly take (or make) more (especially someone else's) children.

Money? What's money good for if you don't have someone to LOVE and SHARE LIFE WITH? Yes, Children are expensive but Let me say there's no life worth living without them....Who cares about Money if you die alone

[ThomKimQC 14]

My Kim has a daughter 4 yrs old from her very first relationship. He wanted her to abort but she refused so he split. This guy caused her so much pain and suffering that I literally had to prove to her that not all men are cut from the same cloth. Plus for the fact that I am foreign guy made it a bit more nerve racking for her. Kim told me because she is a single mom most pinoy would not want her because it meant having to take care of her and her daughter. I told her it did not matter to me that she had a child as long as she was a good mother. I met Kim's daughter and we hit it off so much. I heard her tell her mom and granny while I was there the second time that she loves me more than she loves her blood father. Everyone that sees me and Aaliah together in Phils assumes she is my blood daughter because of her color and of course me being a black American they all believe I am her father. This girl is my world and I do not consider Liah has my fiancee's daughter because in my heart Liah is part of my hip, my rib, she is as much part of me as I am to her. That is how I see it. Most men I meet in Phils express to me that they prefer virgins for their own selfish reasons I assume. I know Kim wants a boy and if God bless us with that gift then I am happy two times over.

[James And Oksana 19]

My fiancee has 3 children, 2 of which will be coming. For me it was easy to decide, since I myself have 4 kids. My daughters and hers are already looking forward to having sisters, as the two older and two younger will be in the same class in school.

As or other guys, I can't say. But honestly when I was looking for and found my Oksana, having children was one of the things I required. Since I have kids, I wanted to make sure the other person would know what it is like to be a parent. She cares greatly for my kids and I do for hers as well. The way it should be. But some guys are not ready for this, especially if they are not already a father.