What does "family friendly" mean in the context of VJ?

[Rebecca Jo 1,962]

This is a very interesting, and indeed tricky, topic. I've thought a fair bit about this over the years. One of the reasons I've been an active member (well, maybe not all that active--after 5 1/2 years I only have three hearts!) for so long is that VJ is a really interesting and fun site because of its exceptionally diverse membership.

I don't think "family friendly" is an apt term to describe its ideal tone, though. As someone mentioned, users are nearly all adults, and I don't think someone should be reprimanded for typing something racy. Boasting about one's wife's BJ prowess, for example, while cringe-inducing and uncouth in the extreme, shouldn't be off limits, I don't think. Fortunately, most posters have the good manners not to post detailed descriptions of their encounters, which brings up another question about what might constitute obscenity.

As for the out and out insults toward entire groups--all men or women from a certain country or region, for example--that's a trickier matter because it may contribute to the site appearing to be less than hospitable. Cultivating a welcoming atmosphere, which I think VJ does quite well on the whole, is paramount. Personally, I couldn't give a sh!t less what certain posters think about "American women." As Tracy said, cheeseheads will be cheeseheads. And given that a good number of VJ members are either American women or foreign men married or engaged to American women, these guys end up looking like a Grade A assmonkeys. Maybe the question is whether people should be free to be Grade A assmonkeys? I think so, for the most part, but some members might be driven away by this sort of thing.

With so many users from so many different places going through a stressful process, you're going to have some--er--colorful language and exchanges.

I'm not sure if I'm even making a point here, except to note that this is an interesting discussion!

Yes, it is an interesting discussion.

The Regional Forums grew out of a desire by Admin to protect a certain group of members from racial, political and religious intolerance.

Rather than put a stop to the intolerance that was going on against these people, Admin decided to give the victimized a safe place to post. In order to make this safe area less conspicuous, Admin created "like" areas for everyone else.

Thus the Regional Forums were born.

It's always amazed me that rather than put a stop to hate talk, VJ Admin just tries to hide it somewhere. Stick it in another forum where maybe no one will notice.

Edited March 10, 2011 by Rebecca Jo

[Flames9_RN 358]

Yes, it is an interesting discussion.

The Regional Forums grew out of a desire by Admin to protect a certain group of members from racial, political and religious intolerance.

Rather than put a stop to the intolerance that was going on against these people, Admin decided to give the victimized a safe place to post. In order to make this safe area less conspicuous, Admin created "like" areas for everyone else.

Thus the Regional Forums were born.

It's always amazed me that rather than put a stop to hate talk, VJ Admin just tries to hide it somewhere. Stick it in another forum where maybe no one will notice.

Well said!!! VJ has been on a downward spiral for awhile!! There should be a huge warning for the off topic & Religion forum about how rude it is in there and just let it go mod-less. I know how it is--so I just do not partake in those forums. No clue why people have to become idiots just because they are hidden behind a computer monitor.

[The_Dude 1,142]

Yes, they should have warnings on forums. They should put a 'warning, passive aggressive anti-american sentiments" or "warning: overt misogyny" on the appropriate regional forum too

[Darnell 8,479]

I'd just like to add that it doesn't help when people from other regional forums come into RUB for the sole purpose of berating. I think there's an inherent desire to protect your "home turf," and it just winds up causing even more problems. Probably better to just press the "report" button rather than engaging.

Yup - that report button __CAN__ be useful !!

[Darnell 8,479]

Yes, it is an interesting discussion.

The Regional Forums grew out of a desire by Admin to protect a certain group of members from racial, political and religious intolerance.

Rather than put a stop to the intolerance that was going on against these people, Admin decided to give the victimized a safe place to post. In order to make this safe area less conspicuous, Admin created "like" areas for everyone else.

Thus the Regional Forums were born.

It's always amazed me that rather than put a stop to hate talk, VJ Admin just tries to hide it somewhere. Stick it in another forum where maybe no one will notice.

Ya - I've watched a bit, too - even with OT, then the P& R forum birthing.. how many 'new' forums will be created to handle the 'non-immigration' topics? yeeesh.

[one...two...tree 2,762]

Eliminate the Regional Subforums. Eliminate P&R (or merge it back into OT). Then watch the tribalism diminish and the sense of community that once existed on here return.

[SMOKE 1,426]

Eliminate the Regional Subforums. Eliminate P&R (or merge it back into OT). Then watch the tribalism diminish and the sense of community that once existed on here return.

that will never happen w/o crystal clear direction direction from the admin to staff & aggressive administrative actions being taken towards all....we got too many alpha personalities around here.

[^_^ 5,021]

Eliminate the Regional Subforums. Eliminate P&R (or merge it back into OT). Then watch the tribalism diminish and the sense of community that once existed on here return.

tribalism is what separates us from the androids. it's what makes us human.

[B_J 2,752]

I have to admit, I was surprised at what I found in P&R. Because this site is made up of people from different cultures, I thought I would be able to actually learn from others. I was particularly curious to learn about other religions. However, all I've learned is that anybody who believes in God has no brain; and if you're Muslim then you have no brain and you're a terrorist. Not quite what I was expecting to find.

I'm also really bothered by the lack of respect I see in regional forums; even the Philippines forum. Some of the things I've read are very insulting to the Philippines and to the women in particular. And I won't even go into what is found in that other regional forum.

But, how do you force somebody to be respectful of others and their opinions? I don't know.

[I AM NOT THAT GUY 5,715]

Eliminate the Regional Subforums. Eliminate P&R (or merge it back into OT). Then watch the tribalism diminish and the sense of community that once existed on here return.

Steven is right. If you don't want to see childish behavior, eliminate the playgrounds. Perhaps for those that continue such pursuits, there could be an automatic redirect to the other site with less rules, and more spammers. BTW: Fix that please. The spammers. Not the rules.

[B_J 2,752]

Regional forums that deal with visa issues are very helpful; regional forums that are just extra OT forums are not.

[rsn 135]

Regional forums that deal with visa issues are very helpful; regional forums that are just extra OT forums are not.

...for you

[one...two...tree 2,762]

Regional forums that deal with visa issues are very helpful; regional forums that are just extra OT forums are not.

A solution for that would be to have pinned topics that are regional specific without dedicating a whole forum. Most of the threads in the Philippines subforum, for example, could easily go under the K-1 forums, or under Off Topic.

[I AM NOT THAT GUY 5,715]

A solution for that would be to have pinned topics that are regional specific without dedicating a whole forum. Most of the threads in the Philippines subforum, for example, could easily go under the K-1 forums, or under Off Topic.

Put all the Embassy specific stuff under the US Embassy and Consulate Discussion.

[B_J 2,752]

...for you

thanks for contributing.

A solution for that would be to have pinned topics that are regional specific without dedicating a whole forum. Most of the threads in the Philippines subforum, for example, could easily go under the K-1 forums, or under Off Topic.