domestic problem while on aos

[tigerme 0]

hi everyone,

i got married with the us citizen last november through K1 visa.. my aos status in still in the process and as a matter of fact i will have an interview on march 29. my problem is that i am being emotionally abused by my husband, i really cant take it anymore.. i wanna move out. but i am worried and thingking what will happen to my status. i want to consult with a lawyer but i dont have money to pay for it..

[YuAndDan 153]

AOS is based on marriage to the K-1 petitioner and marriage, if relationship is going south, they can always deny the AOS at the interview.

[Krikit 1,165]

Moving from AOS Process to Effects of Major Changes.

[rika60607 215]

Is there a reason you want to stay in the US?

If you do, you have to work it out with your husband. What kind of abuse are you talking about? Is he still interested in having relationship with you?

If he just does not like you anymore and wants a divorce, this is not abuse.

hi everyone,

i got married with the us citizen last november through K1 visa.. my aos status in still in the process and as a matter of fact i will have an interview on march 29. my problem is that i am being emotionally abused by my husband, i really cant take it anymore.. i wanna move out. but i am worried and thingking what will happen to my status. i want to consult with a lawyer but i dont have money to pay for it..

[tigerme 0]

Is there a reason you want to stay in the US?

If you do, you have to work it out with your husband. What kind of abuse are you talking about? Is he still interested in having relationship with you?

If he just does not like you anymore and wants a divorce, this is not abuse.

hi,

thanks you for the message. i cried every now and then since monday because i think i got a disease from him based on the symptoms that i am having now and soon i will confirm it with the doctor. I can take all the hardship that he's giving me like in financial things and differences..because i know we are still adjusting with each other..i gave up my old life and good career in my country just to be with him. alot of times when we argue he is like threatening me that he will send me home. he dont give me money unless i beg..and he even told me to get a job for me to buy things that i need though he knows that i cant get i job for the meantime because of my status..

I feel that i dont deserve all this things. i tried to work it out inspite of the hardship..but with the disease thing i really cant accept it.. I am really emotionally disturb by this time.

[brownskinned 5]

hi,

thanks you for the message. i cried every now and then since monday because i think i got a disease from him based on the symptoms that i am having now and soon i will confirm it with the doctor. I can take all the hardship that he's giving me like in financial things and differences..because i know we are still adjusting with each other..i gave up my old life and good career in my country just to be with him. alot of times when we argue he is like threatening me that he will send me home. he dont give me money unless i beg..and he even told me to get a job for me to buy things that i need though he knows that i cant get i job for the meantime because of my status..

I feel that i dont deserve all this things. i tried to work it out inspite of the hardship..but with the disease thing i really cant accept it.. I am really emotionally disturb by this time.

Oh my gosh! I am so sorry to hear, but you have to be strong. My cousin experienced the same thing. Same abuse (not physical but emotional). Also threatening to send her home and do something bad to her family. He doesnt let her get online and won't give her money no matter how much she beg. What she did was run away. That was two years ago and now she's married to another USC (her previous hubby divorced). However, she has problems adjusting her status now(her first hubby didnt process her AOS). She got imprisoned for 2 weeks when some border patrol inspected her. Then they're on the case still now.

Her lawyer told her to gather any evidence of abuse from her first hubby and they might have a chance in winning the case. Worst scenario, shes gonna be deported and will have a 10 year ban.

I suggest you gather evidence of abuse and report it to the police. My cousin was asked why she didnt report it. She said she was so scared and everything. Theyre on the second hearing now.

[rika60607 215]

Emotional abuse is hard to prove, so if you think that you want/can use the VAWA route, you should think of what you can prove. If he gave you a sexually transmitted disease, that is one proof.

Are there any witnesses to his threats? If yes, are they willing to testify to it?

That he does not give you any money... I understand that this is abuse and a power trip, especially when you have none and can't legally work, but is he legally obligated to give you money? I am not sure...

Shouldn't your work authorization (EAD) show up any time now? May be it is worth calling USCIS to see if one was issued to you already.

Best of luck. If it was me in your shoes, I would run back home. Obviously it is your call to make. You have to understand that if you use VAWA to stay in the US, you will cause him a lot of grief and you may fail in the end.

hi,

thanks you for the message. i cried every now and then since monday because i think i got a disease from him based on the symptoms that i am having now and soon i will confirm it with the doctor. I can take all the hardship that he's giving me like in financial things and differences..because i know we are still adjusting with each other..i gave up my old life and good career in my country just to be with him. alot of times when we argue he is like threatening me that he will send me home. he dont give me money unless i beg..and he even told me to get a job for me to buy things that i need though he knows that i cant get i job for the meantime because of my status..

I feel that i dont deserve all this things. i tried to work it out inspite of the hardship..but with the disease thing i really cant accept it.. I am really emotionally disturb by this time.

[Messybrownhair 251]

Hmm.. That really sucks and I am so sorry you had to experience this.. If you really wish to stay and leave him at the same time, make sure you can gather enough evidence to have a strong case to back up your story, it will not be easy but its certainly not impossible.. I cannot say what I would do if I were in your shoes, but I do wish you luck and hope that it all works out for the best

[jrmejia 31]

They already gave you good advice. I am giving you a lot of luck sorry to hear about your case.

[Aztec&Taino 144]

hi,

thanks you for the message. i cried every now and then since monday because i think i got a disease from him based on the symptoms that i am having now and soon i will confirm it with the doctor. I can take all the hardship that he's giving me like in financial things and differences..because i know we are still adjusting with each other..i gave up my old life and good career in my country just to be with him. alot of times when we argue he is like threatening me that he will send me home. he dont give me money unless i beg..and he even told me to get a job for me to buy things that i need though he knows that i cant get i job for the meantime because of my status..

I feel that i dont deserve all this things. i tried to work it out inspite of the hardship..but with the disease thing i really cant accept it.. I am really emotionally disturb by this time.

I imagine that the disease of which you speak is a STD. This is a dilemma because if you choose to leave your husband and go to the interview, by yourself, there is a good chance that your permanent residence will be denied as a result of your husband not being there. During the interview, both persons need to be asked questions that would indicate that there is a "real" marriage between the two of you and the marriage was not entered only for immigration purposes. It is quite unfortunate that you are facing difficulties so early on in your marriage. Do you see a possibility for reconciliation? Can you work things out with your partner? Is there a willingness on both sides to work in the marriage? If so, you may want to seek the help of a marriage counselor. If not, you could go to the interview still but face the possibility of being denied and having to exit the US (go back to your country) to rebuild the life you left. In this process there are stakes for both petitioners and beneficiaries; as much as there is to gain from a marriage there is also the potential of losing... Best wishes as you choose your path!

[Myopia 93]

hi everyone,

i got married with the us citizen last november through K1 visa.. my aos status in still in the process and as a matter of fact i will have an interview on march 29. my problem is that i am being emotionally abused by my husband, i really cant take it anymore.. i wanna move out. but i am worried and thingking what will happen to my status. i want to consult with a lawyer but i dont have money to pay for it..

You have proof of a bonafide marriage so why would they deny you? If you go to the interview and are honest then why would you be denied. You handled it since November so you can handle it some more. You have the strength to do this. I think you do care about him as he must care about you. Many men(and women) will bring a spouse to the US and dont even bother to continue with the AOS.

He has some good in him in that he actually paid the money in order for you to complete the AOS process. my thoughts to you is to play in cool. At this point he has the power over you and your life direction. Once you have your conditional green card you can go to classes which will empower you, you can get a job even babysitting, you can drive.

As for the disease. I am sorry to hear about that but thankfully as long as its not herpes, hpv or hiv you can get cure. A horrible situation for you but not one you have to suffer with for long.

Be strong. You are in my prayers.

Edited March 4, 2011 by Myopia