Serious Stress...

[crystal01 29]

To watch movies together, we used to find the relevant link....click....and count down. Try sidereel.com for some inspiration. Or we'd go and rent a movie and click play at the same time whilst having google voice chat open. I'd do just voice chat with him whilst watching and it was great. We'd get to laugh at the same moments, cry at the same moments.....most of the time it would encourage incredibly random conversations and we'd have to press pause and have a talk about what we were watching. Totally dorky....but it added a sense of "normality" to our relationship.

We also used to log in to yahoo games, set up a private room and I would kick his butt in poker whilst talking smack to him about what a crappy hand he must have. Talk is great, but sometimes something else is just what the doctor ordered! :-)

We do exactly the same thing! even playing rock paper scissors to see whose turn it is to countdown . We download the same movies or youtube videos and play it at the same time. Playing multi player games is also fun! Both online and on our phones. It makes us stay connected even if we dont always have anything to say to each other (happens when you talk all the time). You can find a lot of things to do long distance here:

http://www.lovingfromadistance.com/thingsforldrcouplestodo.html

[Al422 221]

Your positivity just radiates AI422.

What a lovely influence you are around these parts. Maybe you could really spread the joy and radiate that positivity elsewhere.

Oh and also.

Shut up.

What a lovely place this is. People who are happy being screwed by a bunch of Nazi wannabees in our government can write about it here, but those who want to sound off about how said wannabees are ruining our lives are told to shut up.

[TBoneTX 46,201]

What a lovely place this is. People who are happy being screwed by a bunch of Nazi wannabees in our government can write about it here, but those who want to sound off about how said wannabees are ruining our lives are told to shut up.

An honest question, friend: What are you doing or writing to add to or detract from the loveliness?

[curvebell 29]

What a lovely place this is. People who are happy being screwed by a bunch of Nazi wannabees in our government can write about it here, but those who want to sound off about how said wannabees are ruining our lives are told to shut up.

Al422, people are always so quick to jump down your throat. haha. I appreciate your posts lol

OP, if you threw your worries and stress into a pile with everyone elses - you'd want yours back. Fiance and I are 19 hours apart. Needless to say we chat for about 10 minutes when I'm on my work lunch break and then for another 5 mins when I get off work - by then it's way past midnight where he is. We only really get to talk/skype on the weekend.

As for stress relief - exercise is a great way to let off steam. I've also been spending copious amounts of time with my friends and family since it will be a couple of months until I get to be around them.

My fiance has started to arrange work for me when I get there - volunteer work I can do to keep me occupied when I get there until I receive EAD. Maybe this will pass some of the time for you?

Good luck. Once you get to 5 months nag/###### and whine all you like to USCIS/Senator. Fiance jumps on the bitching train first thing monday morning!

Good luck x

[TheSantamarias 0]

This thread has given us soooo many good ideas. We started reading a book together on Friday night. It's been amazing. It had gotten to the point where I just wanted to spend time with him without having to force a conversation. Since October 2008, I feel like we've talked about EVERYTHINGGGGGGGGGGGGG. BUT this has given us great ideas on how to "hang out" without actually being in the same place.

As for those of you who have a huge time difference, I apologize if my initial post came off in the wrong way. I was having a moment of weakness and frustration and didn't mean it to come off to insensitively.

[Ellie-and-David 38]

What a lovely place this is. People who are happy being screwed by a bunch of Nazi wannabees in our government can write about it here, but those who want to sound off about how said wannabees are ruining our lives are told to shut up.

This thread (after an initial ###### fest and back and forth of "my life is worse than yours, no mine is" conversations) had turned in to a place where people were making helpful suggestions on how to pass the time during the wait and as you often do, you came, you saw an opportunity to REALLY drag the entire conversation down and left your "me me me" stamp all over the joint.

No one is happy about being screwed by USCIS, not one person and your self centered and very short sighted if you believe that to be the case.

As part of being an adult you recognize that sometimes you cant have what you want when you want it. Sometimes you have to wait your turn and sometimes you have to suck it up and realize that whilst wait times are completely ridiculous, you made the decision to engage the immigration process and until you are approved..... you can sail through visa journey turning everything to muck OR you can be a big boy and actually consider some of the suggestions your peers have made.

Really consider them.

[Ellie-and-David 38]

This thread has given us soooo many good ideas. We started reading a book together on Friday night. It's been amazing. It had gotten to the point where I just wanted to spend time with him without having to force a conversation. Since October 2008, I feel like we've talked about EVERYTHINGGGGGGGGGGGGG. BUT this has given us great ideas on how to "hang out" without actually being in the same place.

As for those of you who have a huge time difference, I apologize if my initial post came off in the wrong way. I was having a moment of weakness and frustration and didn't mean it to come off to insensitively.

So glad it worked out for you! I tell ya, we stumbled on to watching the movies together and the sense of normality it added to daily contact was so helpful. There is only so much to talk about, especially if that is all you end up doing for months and months on end.

At this rate, you might actually want to talk to him by the time he gets off the plane

[B_J 2,752]

This thread (after an initial ###### fest and back and forth of "my life is worse than yours, no mine is" conversations) had turned in to a place where people were making helpful suggestions on how to pass the time during the wait and as you often do, you came, you saw an opportunity to REALLY drag the entire conversation down and left your "me me me" stamp all over the joint.

No one is happy about being screwed by USCIS, not one person and your self centered and very short sighted if you believe that to be the case.

As part of being an adult you recognize that sometimes you cant have what you want when you want it. Sometimes you have to wait your turn and sometimes you have to suck it up and realize that whilst wait times are completely ridiculous, you made the decision to engage the immigration process and until you are approved..... you can sail through visa journey turning everything to muck OR you can be a big boy and actually consider some of the suggestions your peers have made.

Really consider them.

In defense of Al (I can't believe I'm doing this) as you pointed out, this thread got ugly from the very first reply. In fact, most of the replies to the original post bothered me more than Al's response. The whole "my life is worse than your life" competition was pretty lame. But that's just my opinion.

But as for Al's response. If you remember, a while back, Al used to be very very negative. And quite a few people complained. He now puts a lot of humor in his responses. Maybe some people don't like his style of humor but I'm not sure that's his fault. He has a rather dark sense of humor; very sarcastic. But it is very fitting for what we're all going through. Even his posting that you intitially replied to had humor in it. But I think too many are just looking for the negative in his posts.

And remember, his attacks are at a government beuracracy. Not at fellow VJ members. I don't see him telling other VJ member to go elsewhere or to shut up.

I'm not saying his attitude is perfect for everybody but I prefer his sarcastic humor to people constatly saying "just wait, your time will come". His posts at least make me laugh while I'm waiting for my time.

Feel free to disagree.

[Ellie-and-David 38]

There was no humor in AI's question and answer post. None. It was just shooting down of helpful suggestions tying it all back in to another "my situation is worse than yours" response.

[B_J 2,752]

There was no humor in AI's question and answer post. None. It was just shooting down of helpful suggestions tying it all back in to another "my situation is worse than yours" response.

I saw humor there. I guess we all view humor differently.

I think the main thing to remember is that some people get Al's sense of humor and, in some ways, the things he says helps these people get through the process. However, to be fair, I realize that others disagree with everything he says. But we all are different and I think that he deserves to be able to speak here as much as anybody else. Especially when you remember that he's not attacking members of VJ; just the agency we're all waiting on.

[Al422 221]

I see that the majority of people attacking me have already completed their journey, just like when I railed against Obamination's TPS garbage.

I am really sorry if consolation prizes do not impress me. They never did and never will. None of the consolation prizes suggested in this thread do anything for me. Consolation prizes are for losers. I intend to win.

I want Elena here. I want her in my bed every night. I want her at my dinner table every day. I want her in my life, in person, every day for the rest of my life. Nothing else will do anything for me, not talking on the phone, not skype, not simultaneously watching videos, nothing, nothing, nothing.

For me, it is all or nothing, and I will not have it any other way.

Our esteemed elected officials are getting paid good money from our taxes to protect and serve all Americans. I expect that service, and instead I am getting disservice.

[Moomin 292]

I see that the majority of people attacking me have already completed their journey, just like when I railed against Obamination's TPS garbage.

I want Elena here. I want her in my bed every night. I want her at my dinner table every day. I want her in my life, in person, every day for the rest of my life. Nothing else will do anything for me, not talking on the phone, not skype, not simultaneously watching videos, nothing, nothing, nothing.

..which is fine IMO. Most do have empathy, atleast on this forum. But OP was seeking for an advice and ideas, right? I haven't completed my journey however I'm not attacking you. The point was how to deal with the stress of the process, not "nothing nothing nothing will do justice".

Cheer up Al - you're over half way through. That IS a bright side. Feed off of that just for a lil while, eh?

[Tinchen_ 21]

u just have an hour time difference.. wanna change with me?? i would love to just have an hour time difference we have like 6-7 hours and i really admire the ppl who have 14 or 16 hour difference wow..best respect. but thats how it is. when u love someone it doesnt matter..u dont mind skipping sleep or put ur social life a lil bit on hold. we arent able to skype everyday cuz mostly our connection sucks and breaks up. but we email each other thru the whole day. we email each other daily around 30mails. and messanger when ever we can. my fiance works 2jobs right now and i have like a 60hour week.so there are like sometimes 5 days we not able to talk to each other just email. so we put lil voice or video in the emails. and just see the big picture. its all gonna be worth at the end cuz we are able to be together.

it is hard sometimes ok a lot of times lol but stay in there.. and if u love him u dont mind skipping sleep or dont meet friends so often anymore. cuz its more improtant to u that u two talk. just do something special once in a while to keep it up and going.

[dogspot 90]

To watch movies together, we used to find the relevant link....click....and count down. Try sidereel.com for some inspiration. Or we'd go and rent a movie and click play at the same time whilst having google voice chat open. I'd do just voice chat with him whilst watching and it was great. We'd get to laugh at the same moments, cry at the same moments.

We do something similar in that we always watch the same films but not at the same time (11 hour time difference prevents this). Our relationship started this way years ago when we were just "penpals" who shared similar taste in film and music. Now we watched a film within a day or two of one another and discuss it after. Just another way we maintain our sanity; by having discussions we would have as if we were spending everyday together, in person.

[dogspot 90]

I've played guitar to her and now i'm reading a book to her.

Reading together is a great idea. We are reading our 3rd book together in English (but first via Skype), Crime and Punishment. It feeds both of our interests in reading while providing a chance for her to practice her English (and me to correct her). These long waits are an excellent time for non-native speakers to practice, practice, practice the language.