Serious Stress...

[B_J 2,752]

skype games ( bowling:D )

and Skype dominoes and bingo.

[Barbara J 115]

I think this is somewhat judgemental remark. I already have NOA2 and it did take me 5 months. However, I would not hesitate to expedite my case if I could. All of us are in great stress while waiting for NOA2 and I am sure that if you could you would not hesitate to expedite it. So, I would not make a judgement of people based on their desire to expedite their case by all possible means. I would really like to hear ANYONE telling me on this site who is involved in K1 process that if they could they would not expedite their case.

NO this is very true but there is no point in whining, We all wanted our cases to go quickly and we all had to wait. I never even knew of this site when I was going through 129f petition we did it on our own . We all went through and still are or was going through stress over immigration but you have to suck it up and be grown about it and there is no need to tell the world how 1 hour is bad in time difference or that you work 10 hr shifts and so on and so on. I have been through enough ####### this last 4 months waiting for AOS so I know what stress is ok. But hey I just got word today AOS GC is on its way so am approved after feeling like a nothing in this country for the last 4 months. All anyone can do on this journey is talk to your partner daily and cam or do what ever text I don't care but keep going and it will all work out in the end. We are here to help with sensible questions not hear how hard it is being apart and as Barron said maybe they need to look at their situation if they are not coping cause it doesn't end once you get here . DONE i have had my rant for the day

[Mariye & Ky 172]

NO this is very true but there is no point in whining, We all wanted our cases to go quickly and we all had to wait. I never even knew of this site when I was going through 129f petition we did it on our own . We all went through and still are or was going through stress over immigration but you have to suck it up and be grown about it and there is no need to tell the world how 1 hour is bad in time difference or that you work 10 hr shifts and so on and so on. I have been through enough ####### this last 4 months waiting for AOS so I know what stress is ok. But hey I just got word today AOS GC is on its way so am approved after feeling like a nothing in this country for the last 4 months. All anyone can do on this journey is talk to your partner daily and cam or do what ever text I don't care but keep going and it will all work out in the end. We are here to help with sensible questions not hear how hard it is being apart and as Barron said maybe they need to look at their situation if they are not coping cause it doesn't end once you get here . DONE i have had my rant for the day

Barbara J!!! Congratulations on your AOS GC!!!! That alone is great news and it's hope for the rest of us. Excellent!!

See OP? Good things come to those who wait.

Mari

[jrmejia 31]

I waited 192 days with no whining. We are 8 hrs apart when she is in Dubai and 12 hrs apart when in Phil.

I work a bit more than you 6.30aam to 5.pm.

We still find time to communicate and ENJOY!!!!!!!

I joined the gym and that was one of my best moooooove! it is great! to release stress and belly when it wants to show up

[canada_socks 97]

watching movies together (1,2,3...then press play!)

WOW! My fiancee and I do this too! We PVR (sorry, DVR I guess it is called in the States?) tv shows that we both enjoy and watch them together. Sometimes I work late nights so we can't watch them at the same time when they are on. We count down with our fingers on Skype then point at the screen which means play. I don't feel like such a dork now!

[Barbara J 115]

Barbara J!!! Congratulations on your AOS GC!!!! That alone is great news and it's hope for the rest of us. Excellent!!

See OP? Good things come to those who wait.

Mari

Ty and yes they do come to you with some patience lol

[charlize56 4]

feel the same thing,im so stress and sometime depress while waiting about the result if we will receive the noa2 or not?!i got sick bcoz of too much pressure and tensions about this,, so now im trying to relax and not thinkin about it,me and my fiance always use skype videocall everyday twice a day,he wake up early i the morning to talk to me using skype before he goes to work then when he comes home we will talk again and it is my nightime we almost doin it for 2 years while still waiting for our papers to get aprove...and to tell you the truth i was surprised that one of __ relative is workin in dhs but i didnt ask help bcoz it isnt allowed...

theres nothing we can do but to...........wait!

[Ellie-and-David 38]

To watch movies together, we used to find the relevant link....click....and count down. Try sidereel.com for some inspiration. Or we'd go and rent a movie and click play at the same time whilst having google voice chat open. I'd do just voice chat with him whilst watching and it was great. We'd get to laugh at the same moments, cry at the same moments.....most of the time it would encourage incredibly random conversations and we'd have to press pause and have a talk about what we were watching. Totally dorky....but it added a sense of "normality" to our relationship.

We also used to log in to yahoo games, set up a private room and I would kick his butt in poker whilst talking smack to him about what a crappy hand he must have. Talk is great, but sometimes something else is just what the doctor ordered! :-)

Edited March 4, 2011 by Ellie-and-David

[Ash&Ham 0]

I think the best thing we can do as a VJ community is try to stay positive and use encouraging and supportive words with one another.

People respond differently to stress, and I can tell you from my own experience that it can be hard to be sensative to others when stressed.

I know that as your June wedding date approaches you might be feeling more and more stressed. My wedding date isn't until November, but I am already a little anxious about things not going through on time.

Also, it sounds like you have a pretty demanding job, which I know cannot be making things easier for you.

I dont think people should invalidate your frustrations about having a 1 hour time difference. Yes, there are people who have ALOT greater time zone differences, but that doesnt mean that 1 hour isnt stressful too. Just try to keep in mind that we are all sressed, and there are those that would LOVE to only have 1 hour difference, so please be sensative to this.

I dont blame you at all for trying to work your connection with USCIS. I think in the past I would tell you that the honest thing to do is just wait your turn, but you never know if its in their contract as USCIS emplyees to be allowed to expedite applications of family members. Even if it is not, I have come to accept that networking is a normal part of being human. It is not always what you know, but who you know. This can be frustrating when you are "out of the loop" and I have often been on that end, but its just true that people like to help out friends and family that they love when and where they can. I dont think it is really dishonest anymore... within reason.

My girl, I do understand your stress, I just think the way you worded your post was poorly phrased.

Here are some things I recommend to you on lowering your stress level.

1. Healthy diet

2. learn some breathing exercises or meditation

3. pick a secondary wedding date and let all necessary parties know this date

4. remember that your 5 month wait period is not up yet

5. remember that USCIC trys to get to all applications within 30 days of those 5 months (this means within 6 months)

6. Try to use skype as some of the others have suggested... just have it on even if you cant talk or are sleeping

7. Think about how nice things will be when your fiance arrives (what will you do, where will you take them)

8. Look at how you can make thinks less stressful for you with work (adjusting schedule if you can, making requests of your boss, changing job, etc)

9. start a thread on VJ intended for positive words and encouragement

10. Do things that you love, and imagine that your fiance is with you while you do them then share with him about how much fun you had

11. read a book about positive thinking and stress reduction

12. remember that one day you will have him in your arms

13. Have it as your goal to have your fiance with you by this time next year

14. visit your fiance if you can

15. remember that this is just the beginning. There will be different stress after this step. And yes, you CAN make it through!

[Al422 221]

it doesn't end once you get here

It sure does end once she is here. The horrific nightmare of separation ends on that day. The day she steps through the gate at Kennedy Airport and into my waiting arms is Mission Accomplished.

Of course the rest of the stuff, AOS, GC, etc is all important too, but if that takes 6, 8 ,10 months, that is OK. We will not be separated for those 6, 8, 10 months, and Mission Accomplished already took place.

[Al422 221]

1. Healthy diet

Makes it worse. Comfort food, while it is killing me, is much easier to get down my stressed out esophagus.

2. learn some breathing exercises or meditation

Not a chance.

3. pick a secondary wedding date and let all necessary parties know this date

Don't have a date yet. Futile to even think about one while a bunch of arrogant bureaucratic knuckleheads are controlling my life.

4. remember that your 5 month wait period is not up yet

Yes it is. And the aforementioned knuckleheads are nowhere near approving me.

5. remember that USCIC trys to get to all applications within 30 days of those 5 months (this means within 6 months)

What have you been smoking? All these idiots are trying to do is kill me.

6. Try to use skype as some of the others have suggested... just have it on even if you cant talk or are sleeping

Not everyone in Russia has unlimited broadband like we have here. No can do.

7. Think about how nice things will be when your fiance arrives (what will you do, where will you take them)

Yes, a lovely distant dream

8. Look at how you can make thinks less stressful for you with work (adjusting schedule if you can, making requests of your boss, changing job, etc)

No can do. I am a corporate officer and have to keep up with the demands of my job.

9. start a thread on VJ intended for positive words and encouragement

Once something positive happens, I'll take you up on that.

10. Do things that you love, and imagine that your fiance is with you while you do them then share with him about how much fun you had

Tried that. Hate every second of it specifically because she is not here.

11. read a book about positive thinking and stress reduction

Already work 60 hours a week. Time for reading? Maybe in my dreams.

12. remember that one day you will have him in your arms

See #7 above; aforementioned distant dream

13. Have it as your goal to have your fiance with you by this time next year

It better happen a hell of a lot sooner than that!

14. visit your fiance if you can

And use up vacation time I need when she is here? A last resort.

15. remember that this is just the beginning. There will be different stress after this step. And yes, you CAN make it through!

I deal with stress every day of my life. Just not this kind of stress where bureaucratic knuckleheads who could not care less whether I live or die interfere with every second of my life.

Any questions?

[Ellie-and-David 38]

Your positivity just radiates AI422.

What a lovely influence you are around these parts. Maybe you could really spread the joy and radiate that positivity elsewhere.

Oh and also.

Shut up.

[Shawn & Emi 16]

Your positivity just radiates AI422.

What a lovely influence you are around these parts. Maybe you could really spread the joy and radiate that positivity elsewhere.

Oh and also.

Shut up.

[dogspot 90]

Your positivity just radiates AI422.

What a lovely influence you are around these parts. Maybe you could really spread the joy and radiate that positivity elsewhere.

Oh and also.

Shut up.

+1

[Shawn & Emi 16]

I deal with stress every day of my life. Just not this kind of stress where bureaucratic knuckleheads who could not care less whether I live or die interfere with every second of my life.

Any questions?

Yes - isn't that just a little bit melodramatic?!

Edited March 7, 2011 by Shawn & Emi