family and k-1 visa

[gretchen_darren 67]

How do you tell your family about the k-1 visa and the fiance. Just wondering for other;s experiences. My friends are happy for me. However, I know my family, parents, bother, and sister. My kids do not care. but just wondering how to tell you relatives you are marrying a girl 25 years younger then you. Plus she is a Filipina. How do you deal with the family on it? Looking for advice. My parents have been married for almost 47 years, and have not been exposed to much of the world. Just culture here in the states. Also, my sister is 19 months younger then me and my brother is 12 years younger then me. Even though my parents grew up hilbilly, this is still something they have a hard time with. They already told me when I was talking to a Russian girl who was 19 at the time (about 23 years difference) they would not accept her. I have the same feeling on this. they will not accept my fiance. My family is not even in the same state, or same part of the nation. So I will not see them much except on thanksgiving or christmas holiday unless they fly out to see me. Looking for what other people have gone through.

[Chris & Nika 0]

hey,

There is not much advice you can get on it, to be honest. People who will not want to accept her, will not.... I would say that it also depends on her, to be honest. If she is one that is lovable and nice and treating your parents as if they are hers- I think it should be less of a problem. In general Ide say probably they wont like the short time you have know each other guys.... not that Im better... so not pointing fingers.... but yeah... time is the proof that your parents and family will need... gotta be patient and loving and give them the time that they need to take it as it is.... all you can do is be there when they want to communicate... time will make it easier.... I sure would wanna be the one telling my parents that... so that they dont get it to know from someone else..... also the kids.... no matter what is their age.... if thats what you believe is right- go for it and present it as such.... Im lucky to have awesome mother-in-law to be

[wesly 3]

How do you tell your family about the k-1 visa and the fiance. Just wondering for other;s experiences. My friends are happy for me. However, I know my family, parents, bother, and sister. My kids do not care. but just wondering how to tell you relatives you are marrying a girl 25 years younger then you. Plus she is a Filipina. How do you deal with the family on it? Looking for advice. My parents have been married for almost 47 years, and have not been exposed to much of the world. Just culture here in the states. Also, my sister is 19 months younger then me and my brother is 12 years younger then me. Even though my parents grew up hilbilly, this is still something they have a hard time with. They already told me when I was talking to a Russian girl who was 19 at the time (about 23 years difference) they would not accept her. I have the same feeling on this. they will not accept my fiance. My family is not even in the same state, or same part of the nation. So I will not see them much except on thanksgiving or christmas holiday unless they fly out to see me. Looking for what other people have gone through.

[

This your life, you make your own choice. Your not a kid anymore. I'm sure your parents made their own choice when they were your age. Your they one who is going to pay the bill not them. If they really love you they will accept it. Good luck.

[Operator 1,927]

Be honest, tell them (don't ask permission). Get married and be happy.

[TeddyHoney 42]

I guess my question to you would be - How much do you care wether you parents and sister and brother accept your fiancee or not? How important is thier acceptance of her to you?

Why do you need to explain the K-1 process? Or the age difference (there is no "explanation" - it is what it is!).

I was Married to Filipina for 13 years. I was 35 when I married her and she was 24. My mom and dad are 7 years apart. At the time I married her my dad was already deceased. I have 2 sisters 1 2 - 1/2 yrs older and another 4- 1/2 yrs younger. At firs thier only apprehensions were that she was from a less developed country. I cared what they thought and whether they accepted her or not, but either way it would not have stopped me from marrying her nor would i have felt bad in my family did not accept. But she and her 3 yr old son came here and they were accepted by my entire immediate and extended family. But that's my family. I am African American and mixed with Cherokee on one side other stuff ont he other, so race mixing is nothing entirely new in our family.

We're divorced now recently (me and filipina ex) and even her and I have issues still, neither me or any family members have any real regrets.

Aere your parents and siblings taking care of you (feeding, clothing, sheltering, etc)? You're a grown man. You do what you want to do. You're the only one who has to deal with any concequenses of your actions - good or bad. And that would be same even if your fiancee were the girl next door!

My experience and opinion, anyway.

TeddyHoney and SqueezyBear

(Derrick and Ritchie)

[wait4u 0]

There is more than one way to handle this situation.

You can come out of the closet (no pun intended lol) OR you can not let the left hand know what the right hand is doing.

One might choose to keep quiet until the visa is going to be issued. There is no 100% guarantee the visa will be approved and nobody knows how long it will take. Keeping quiet may delay the drama and even prevent unecessary drama in the event the visa was denied or either of you decided to back out before the visa was issued.

One might also choose to blow the lid off the whole thing right now and get r done. This option brings the drama immediately and you can begin to deal with it right away

Concerning your families acceptance of age issues, ethnicity issues, etc. best thing there is to be calm, have patience, and give it time. And while you are doing that do not allow the success of your life or your happiness to hinge on their approval. One day you will draw your last breath and perish (morbid isn't it . Live your life for what makes you happy and successful and don't sweat the small stuff

[dragonlover 6]

How do you tell your family about the k-1 visa and the fiance. Just wondering for other;s experiences. My friends are happy for me. However, I know my family, parents, bother, and sister. My kids do not care. but just wondering how to tell you relatives you are marrying a girl 25 years younger then you. Plus she is a Filipina. How do you deal with the family on it? Looking for advice. My parents have been married for almost 47 years, and have not been exposed to much of the world. Just culture here in the states. Also, my sister is 19 months younger then me and my brother is 12 years younger then me. Even though my parents grew up hilbilly, this is still something they have a hard time with. They already told me when I was talking to a Russian girl who was 19 at the time (about 23 years difference) they would not accept her. I have the same feeling on this. they will not accept my fiance. My family is not even in the same state, or same part of the nation. So I will not see them much except on thanksgiving or christmas holiday unless they fly out to see me. Looking for what other people have gone through.

Hey hey...what you mean by PLUS SHE IS FILIPINA? u are making it sound like we Filipina got a bad reputation. you dont need advice in that area..weather your family accepts her or not should not be an issue because at the end of the day its gonna be you and your filipina fiancee thats gonna be living together not your family. And you should be the one standing up for her..if i am your fiancee, reading your post will make me real mad.

Good luck to your Filipina fiancee!

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

How do you tell your family about the k-1 visa and the fiance. Just wondering for other;s experiences. My friends are happy for me. However, I know my family, parents, bother, and sister. My kids do not care. but just wondering how to tell you relatives you are marrying a girl 25 years younger then you. Plus she is a Filipina. How do you deal with the family on it? Looking for advice. My parents have been married for almost 47 years, and have not been exposed to much of the world. Just culture here in the states. Also, my sister is 19 months younger then me and my brother is 12 years younger then me. Even though my parents grew up hilbilly, this is still something they have a hard time with. They already told me when I was talking to a Russian girl who was 19 at the time (about 23 years difference) they would not accept her. I have the same feeling on this. they will not accept my fiance. My family is not even in the same state, or same part of the nation. So I will not see them much except on thanksgiving or christmas holiday unless they fly out to see me. Looking for what other people have gone through.

Just tell them. What else are you going to do? NOT tell them? Lie about her age? Tell them the truth and they should wish you the best.

[Shawn & Emi 16]

Hey hey...what you mean by PLUS SHE IS FILIPINA? u are making it sound like we Filipina got a bad reputation. you dont need advice in that area..weather your family accepts her or not should not be an issue because at the end of the day its gonna be you and your filipina fiancee thats gonna be living together not your family. And you should be the one standing up for her..if i am your fiancee, reading your post will make me real mad.

Good luck to your Filipina fiancee!

I don't think OP meant to come across that way - I think he means that his fiancée being Filipina might be an issue for his family, because of the way they are. He knows his family and it's not nice, but if they're likely to have a problem with him marrying a foreigner then I can understand his anxieties.

OP - I think you should do whatever you need to. If you think your family will give you loads of grief over this, then leave them out of the picture for now. If they're too small-minded to accept the woman you love, that's their problem not yours! Don't let them guide you in your decisions, because it's your life to live. Also, if you hardly ever see your family then it shouldn't be too much of an issue. If they really have that big of a problem with your wife to be, then if I were you I probably wouldn't want to include them in my life until they can be civil. You want your family to be supportive - if they can't do that for you, then give them time to cool off. I'm sure given time they will come round to the idea - they won't want to lose you over it!

Good luck and try not to stress too much

[gretchen_darren 67]

please do not take it wrong by me saying "plus she is filipina" It is just another strike is all. She is also catholic like most filipinos but I did not mention that. My parents and family are independent baptists. Hopefully, that helps you understand some things. My family has experienced the cuisine and had filipino friends in New York City when they lived there working for a church. I just know how things are with my parents. when they see how much I love her, and just how much she loves me, yes they will come around. the key is I never ever put down my fiance or my wife to anyone, EVER!!! No matter how many problems her and I may have, I still praise her to anyone and everyone as well as letting her know how much I love her. My fiance, my wife is my greatest treasure. We have followed these steps:

Pagtatapat, Singsing, Pamanhikan, and Paninilbihan. I would like for my parents to family to be present during the wedding. I am just worried they may not be.

As for me, "Ikaw lang ang ksing-ksing, Ikaw lang ang callobaron, Ikaw lang ang Lois, angaprap angel ko, Pakasalan mo ako! mahal ko." I love her very very much and care for her and her family. My family is very tight and I want her to be included and a part of it. Yes I talk with my parents and borhter and sister weekly if not more often. My sons like her a lot. My oldest son (almost 11) really likes her. So there is much family harmony in the house. My oldest son was sad I did not take him along to the philippines, but he will get to go another time.

I am hoping to love her and be married to her until the day i die. I have never been as happy with anyone as I am with her. Nor have I ever felt to loved by someone. the more I think on her and her family, what they did and how they went out of their way for me when I was there. It just really gets to me down deep inside. Not only did she accept me, but the whole family accepted me as well as her village.

[mjaye65 5]

Greetings All,

Rina and I are 6 years apart, and my x and I were 9 years apart. My family has always been open and accepting to my relationships. However it was Rina that really worried about being accepted by my family. Until that is one day when my mom was visiting and saw me talking to her on the phone and simply told me to give her the phone and they talked for about 5 minutes. A few months later when I was visiting my Dad he did the same thing so from that point forward she has been fine. She had already spoken with my sister who lives with me a lot and they get along fine. My parents simply wondered why I went that far to meet some one when they are plenty in Dallas. I told them I was working in Korea and I was not looking for love, but when it I found it I was not going to deny it felt right so I pursued the feeling. That I love the way she makes me feel, the way she treats me, the fact that there is not any drama in her daily life. We communicate well and she is more used to the man being away from home like I am for work. Each parent (they are divorced) has only asked once, after it was explained to them there were no more questions as to why. Just when we talk now they ask how is the visa going? When will she and the kids be with you? Hang in there it will be over soon. If they have advance notice they will be in Dallas when we land coming in from POE LAX.

I have lived all over the world. My family knows and sees that I am different than any one else in the family and they simply trust and believe it is my life and I know what is best for it.

I would wait till the visa is approved if you fear the Drama. If it is denied then the drama will increase as you explain that to them. But as stated it is your life not theirs.

Good Luck,