noisy neighbours and how to stay sane for the next couple months

[Kimbear 53]

Just looking for some advice from anyone who has ever had noisy neighbours. the kind that wake you up early on a Saturday morning with a vaccuum, have 10 people over an entire weekend yelling banging, dropping their luggage , and the kind that wake you up every day at 4am stomping around like an elephant until 6am.

i have gone to talk to them at 5am, and asked for them to knock off the noise, stomping, dragging of furniture / chairs with wheels over my bedroom etc. i've had to get maintenance to tighten my lighting fixtures as they were about to fall off from being shaken loose.

i have even complained to the management of my building, which resulted in a warning letter to my building about noise.

my lease is up in june, and i've long decided i'm not staying here no matter what. however i'm trying to find a way to deal with my neighbours and stay sane until i move. right now i'm so exhausted and tired, i can't think straight and i'm having anxiety attacks due to the constant noise. and i'm irritable which is causing me to snap at my husband and yell at my dogs. i'm really not a nice person lately. 4 hours of sleep a night if i'm lucky just does not cut it.

Any ideas?

[silvana.toma 15]

I feel your pain, as my neighbours listen to spanish music everyday from monday to sunday. Then when there is no music we have the baby screaming. We also complained to the admin people but with no avail. My husband said he will call the cops one day, that seems to be the only solution, but i told him we will move soon so there is no reason to make unnecesarry enemies...you never know what's their background...

What i did was run the vacum and hit it hard on the floor few times, cause they live below...but that didn't bother them ...they were listening to their music, and maybe they were even drunk so they probably didn't even hear my vacum.

The funny thing is that we are paying a lot of money to be here becuse it's a safe and a very nice neighburhood, and it was very quiet untill these people moved in....

I say you either buy a house or rent someplace else, and june is not that far.

Good luck!

[Flames9_RN 358]

Thats sucks! next time, try to ensure you find an older building, as i have found they are a lot better made, thus less noisey!

Check (google)your State Tenant laws, you may be able to break your lease due to the noise. See the proper steps you have to take to do that.

No matter how nice you talk to the people above ya, some people just do not care! And if management does nothing, not much you can due at present time! We had a problem last yr with the people above us. We very politely told them about the noise, and they did nothing. Then 1 time we knocked on the door to give them a very friendly reminder, and the lady freaked out on us,lol, then she stomped around super loud for the rest of the day! Oh well, luckily they moved! So sometimes your damned if you do, damned if you don't!!

One can try a fan in the bedroom to quiet the noise!

Decent site for apartment search: http://www.apartmentratings.com/ As with any site, some reviews you have to take with a grain of salt!

[tbaygrrl 2]

Where my SO and I lived when I first came to the States, we had a couple that lived in the unit under us that constantly had music blaring, slamming doors, violent sounding fights, etc.... I was also worried because the guy seemed very unstable, a total unhinged nut that could snap and do who knows what, so talking to him was useless and the girlfriend was an empty shell, so no use there either. Our HOA would not do anything, even though several units complained and the cops had come on a few occassions. BUt because we had a newborn baby and they were highly distruptive I was really worried. Eventually the cops came over to their unit for domestic violence and disturbing the peace.

If you have run in to a wall where nothing has worked, call the cops. Don't feel bad. Request to stay anonymous, but let them know that this was a last resort, that you have tired all other channels to resolve this issue, but their disruptive behaviour is affecting several units. The cops will come out, give a warning, and if called again after issuing the warning, should fine the couple. Don't feel bad for calling them, it is a part of their job to handle these disputes.

Best of luck

[TBoneTX 45,288]

I learned the hard way: Never, EVER live (or book a hotel room) with ANYBODY on top! They always seem to run like stampeding elephants do, and to drop bowling balls or cans of cling peaches (what's up with that? I don't drop things!). If you've complained directly and to management, all you can do is count the days until you can move out. Meanwhile, the advice to run a fan in the bedroom (for white noise) is very, very good. You don't have to point it at yourself, either. If you have a bedroom air-conditioning unit with a "fan" setting, use that. I use that in hotel rooms all the time to minimize hallway & parking-lot noise.

Idea #2: If you can, look into renting a house instead of an apartment. The difference is like night versus day, si man!

[VanessaTony 3,567]

When my husband and I lived in Houston we lived an a corner apartment on the top floor. People below us and on both side. One neighbour was fine the others at various times were awful. One moved in at some random time, and several weeks after they moved in started making really loud banging noises at weird times at night. Turned out they were putting together Ikea type furniture but I didn't complain right away. I waited till I saw who lived there (and if they looked scary) and spoke to the lady of the house during the day and what's how I found out it was putting together furniture. I asked them to keep it before X and after X and they were fine (though as it turns out they were hacking our cable & internet but that's a WHOLE other issue :S) The worst though for us was a troublesome housemate.

There was one particular day I remember was the day before this guy was due to move out... that's why I think he was being more of an ####### than normal. Anyway I was sitting there watching TV and his room backs onto the living room. I always keep the TV below a certain setting when people are sleeping and when he moved in I made sure to tell him to tell me if it was too loud, and we also did a sound test to see his volume comfort level. Anyway, all of a sudden he started playing music REALLY loud. It wasn't like the walls were especially thin, or I was particularly sensitive.. he seriously had that music up so loud you couldn't talk to anyone while in his room and in order to hear the TV I had it almost on 3/4 volume. Obviously in my case he moved out the next day (I did talk to him about the music but he was being a ####### so no joy) but for that day while the music was blaring I was centred on that noise. It was the most irritating noise ever.

Now we're in Iowa and in a town where there's a train track right through town. Due to a some kids dying years ago by running on the tracks the trains ALWAYS blare their horns.. loud, sustained and repeatedly. I can't be outside the house and on the phone with someone, I have to ask them to wait a moment until the train stops blaring. At night-time the house shakes. The first time I slept in this town was at Tony's parents house and I woke up at some insane time in the middle of the night in fright because of it. For the first few days after we moved here for good it was like I was centred on the train sound. I swear I was getting more and more on edge. The more I thought about it, the more I seemed to hear it, and the more it bothered me.

The reason I mention centring on it is because you're sound sensitive right now. You're on edge just waiting for it. You're so ticked off by the sound that you can't help but hear it. Like the ticking clock in my living room. I don't usually hear it but I can "shut out" the TV right now and hear only the clock. You need something else to focus on.

There are a few things you could do to help with it.

1. Put a radio in your room to play either music, or waterfalls, or white noise or SOMETHING to filter out the noise. Tony has tinnitus (ringing in the ears) and he needs a noise to focus on so he doesn't focus on the ringing. Sometimes even turning a fan on will have you listening to that noise. Find something you want to listen to or at least don't mind listening to. When you hear the people yelling/talking/stomping try and focus on the fan, or radio or TV or whatever other noise is around.

2. Consider relaxation tablets. There's a herbal tablet called Valerian that isn't a typical sleep pill, it just helps you relax. Maybe you'll need that the first couple of nights you try the sound thing. It means that you can wake up whenever but it might help you relax enough to sleep a bit better.

3. Any time they're particularly bad or loud write it down. I wouldn't go to talk to them only because some people are SCARY! The reason for writing it down is so you can go back to sleep/forget about it, report it in the morning/when the office is open, and if there's pattern you'll know what to expect on particular days.

Mostly all I can offer is sympathy. At least you know there's an end-date in sight though. Just think about that

[SuperDuper! 230]

Noisy neighbors problem is really an economic problem. Whether it is thin walls, and you have to put up with sex sounds coming thru the thin walls, or arguing or whatever....

You will move if you can, when you can, to escape rude, intolerable neighbors.

People usually live in the best location they are capable of. When ur stuck ur stuck!

When you move up the economic ladder, you have more choices, and can leave the bums and rude ones behind ya.

Good luck!

[rlogan 2,036]

You can soundproof your bedroom.

I live in the woods, but I do construction. You're renting which adds a little challenge. A couple of ways to go with it - just use a very limited amount of fasteners if you want to affix soundproofing to the ceiling directly. I'd have to know how your ceiling was made and the material above to tell you how.

About the lightest material you are going to find is something like blue foam insulation. I have lots of 2' x 8' stuff that is three inches thick and I put really light washers, wide aluminum ones, with small but long screws to attach it to walls or ceilings.

Kind of an ideal would be wood ferring backing, creating a dead air space, and screw the foam to that. You could get really elaborate and cut the sound to zero by using some studs on the two wall ends and some joists. Removeable. You could pack 18" of fibeglass insulation in there and a false ceiling below. They could use a sledge hammer on the floor and you'd still sleep through it.

A sling system with webbing is a possibility. Toss a bunch of old thick padded pillows or even old padded couch cushions on top of the webbing. You'd be surprised how much sound you can block with a system you can put together in a day. Look it over. Draw some diagrams of different designs. Definitely doable. Cheap, if you are smart about materials.

I'd be getting worn mattress cusions free. I wouldn't care what it looked like. If you're Mr. Gentlemen's Quarterly you'll want purple webbing and matching satin pillows for the soundproofing material.

[Afrikan Queen 11]

Where my SO and I lived when I first came to the States, we had a couple that lived in the unit under us that constantly had music blaring, slamming doors, violent sounding fights, etc.... I was also worried because the guy seemed very unstable, a total unhinged nut that could snap and do who knows what, so talking to him was useless and the girlfriend was an empty shell, so no use there either. Our HOA would not do anything, even though several units complained and the cops had come on a few occassions. BUt because we had a newborn baby and they were highly distruptive I was really worried. Eventually the cops came over to their unit for domestic violence and disturbing the peace.

If you have run in to a wall where nothing has worked, call the cops. Don't feel bad. Request to stay anonymous, but let them know that this was a last resort, that you have tired all other channels to resolve this issue, but their disruptive behaviour is affecting several units. The cops will come out, give a warning, and if called again after issuing the warning, should fine the couple. Don't feel bad for calling them, it is a part of their job to handle these disputes.

Best of luck

Agree

We had trouble with loud neighbors and my roommate was always calling the police. When the police came the neighbors calmed down but she had to call them every weekend. I don't think they knew it was us calling them. You can also speak to management again. They gave a warning maybe next time they will take more action on the situation.

[Darnell 8,478]

rlogan - I was gonna write up something similar about soundproofing, but ya beat me to it. YAY

[trillium13 84]

Since your landlord won't do anything about it, you may want to talk to them about breaking your lease, since it sounds like they aren't holding up their end.

The last place we lived we had some horrible neighbors too. Everyone that lived below us was awful, but the last ones were the worst. CONSTANT screaming and fighting with each other. Multiple people over at all hours of the day and night. During the last couple of months we lived there, we actually went away every single weekend to a hotel, just to get away from them and have some peace and rest. We spent way too much on our credit card because of it, but we were at wit's end.

Get out as soon as you can. Look for apartment reviews. Don't live on the bottom floor.

[Kimbear 53]

Thanks for all the replies. We had another complaint to them again this weekend. this time my husband went up their in case they ignored my complaint cuz i'm a woman. they had ppl there til 2:30am again sigh. anyways my husband told them this was the last warning from us, next time he'd call the police.

I would love to soundproof at least my bedroom, but there are rules as to the size of the holes in the wall we can make..so half our stuff was never even put up they wont allow anything bigger than a small nail.

And Vanessa is probably right...i AM suffering from some kind of noise anxiety.."You're on edge just waiting for it. You're so ticked off by the sound that you can't help but hear it" My husband has caught me listening many times like i'm just expecting noise. he has tried to help distract me with tv, playimg withe the pups and trying to get me out of the house. But it never fails, shortly after i hear the noise or stomping and my anxiety kicks in. And every little nosie makes me jump now. I am having issues sleeping as well, constantly waking up every hour or so. I even bought a bottle of these natural sleeping pills with valerian, melatonin and chamomile, but they dont work at all to relax me or keep me asleep.

we have been using the white noise stuff as well, we have a humidifer and a fan in the bedroom but alas it only works sometimes. my lease is up in 4 months, and with the complaints to the neighbours themselves, and management, i've begun keeping a log. I'm hoping between the neibhours, the ant problem, etc, that maybe they will let us out of our lease early if we ask. The office seems to like us, so i'm hoping like crazy to find a place we like, a townhouse or a home for rent and see if we can get out. Even if i have to lose my deposit on this place it will be worth it.

its really a shame, this is one of the few places that will take our two dogs and actually has a good maintenance team too.

[rlogan 2,036]

I would love to soundproof at least my bedroom, but there are rules as to the size of the holes in the wall we can make..so half our stuff was never even put up they wont allow anything bigger than a small nail.

You obviously missed that you can do this without a single nail hole in the wall. A sling system supported by removeable uprights. It would cost less than losing your deposit.

A trifling amount of effort and cost is involved if you are smart about design.

No matter. I often wonder why people can't make the simplest things, but they in turn wonder why I am such a grub.

[slangofoil 50]

Get yourself some earplugs, at least for use while you're trying to sleep. During my masters I lived with 5 noisy obnoxious girls who would have parties and jam sessions until 6 in the morning, all in the room right next to my bedroom. Ear plugs were the only thing that kept me sane and allowed me to sleep.

[Kimbear 53]

well the mangement called me today, they have been trying to get in touch with the people upstairs to talk tot hem about maybe redoing the floor and making it more quiet...they also were informed that multiple people are living in the one bedroom which is against the rules for our complex. i was told it is suposed to be and older couple living there but everytime i make complaints its 2 younger couples or more upstairs.

well at least it feels like something will be done, keeping my fingers crossed.

Slangofoil: i tried ear plugs..they just make me feel like i'm drowning lol. but it only helps the sound, not the feeling of the banging that comes up through the furniture when i'm sitting etc.

Rlogan, sorry i did not understand that part of your post..i dont think i grasped what you were saying although my husband kind of explained it to me.

thanks all, keeping my fingers crossed for some good news / luck!

Edited March 1, 2011 by Kimbear