Anyone else have a hard time?

[British_Cupcake 1]

Please don't believe that it is like that everywhere in the US! Where I live (and many other places are the same) it is very safe! Many people never bother to lock their doors. Cars are left un-locked with the keys in them and they don't get stolen. The crime logs generally consist of a few dui's and the occasional alcohol related dv. Now and then someone is caught shop-lifting. I think you need to move away from there. Life is too short to live in fear. No job can be that good to justify that sort of existence!

Oh i know not everywhere is like this. I have visited many places in the States where i did feel ok, i just happen to be ''lucky'' to live in this wonderful place! And moving isnt an option, my husband is in the military and we go where we get told to go.

If you're renting that house, you gotta try and move out, no house is that worth it, you need your peace of mind and you need to feel safe where you live and one day have kids.

I know a couple who found a gorgeous house for a great price in an AMAZING DREAM neighborhood, made an offer and decided to drive by it, and they saw an old creepy man sitting in the garage all the time, watching people, the couple decided not to buy the house after that. We went to look for a house in that neighborhood and we saw him sitting there, he went and ran after our car just so he can PEAK at us!!

They say you should buy the smallest house you can afford, in the best neighborhood you can find, you can change anything about the house, but you can't change your neighbors.

I wish it was that easy. We have already put the security system in the house and i will be getting a bat and a gun for when Jon deploys although the thought of a gun freaks me out. When he leaves for work at 0530 i cant go back to sleep because im so paranoid even though i know we have an amazing alarm system in our house. We havent had any issues with the neighbour who got out of jail and we have just try keeping ourselves in the good books and saying hi when we see anyone. We also live in a dead end road which makes me feel a little better then the rest of the area as its is usually queit. I guess the culture shock, anxiety, depression and being paranoid makes me feel 10 times worse then it really is.

[KaiserD 12]

I understand how you feel. I think I'm only really just getting used to it and been here 4 years lol A gun goes off in this neighborhood about once a week, but I imagine that its mostly opportunist thieves since I've not seen any ambulances and only a few police cars that come and go quietly during the day.

It's not ghetto here but it is on the modest side (and people definitely just steal from others trying to struggle by, that's just sad), a friend of my husband had his truck stolen by someone he knew at gunpoint. Not the brightest person I imagine >.>

Since the police budget is in question here we've been talking about getting another gun and at some point get some lessons for feeling more comfortable with it. If you have that experience, plus some kind of plan in an emergency the chances of a favorable outcome are much better. The layout of my house is such that it limits where people can force entry at.

When we get some extra money, I'd like to learn some karate or something. Not so I can do dragon punches obviously *sigh*, but I figure the exercise will boost my confidence, I would like the feeling of being more in control in adrenalin driven situations. Just a general out-of-comfort-zone thing.

I've also heard of people installing storm shelters that double as a safe place to hide in an emergency too, guess that depends on the size of your home and where there's concrete to anchor it to.

We're trying to get out of here before our son goes to school, they are really terrible in this county.

Edited February 27, 2011 by KaiserD

[john & jean 37]

1. Go to a secondhand store and buy a pair of men's used size 14-16 work boots.

2. Place them on your front porch, along with a copy of Guns & Ammo Magazine.

3. Put four giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazines.

4. Leave a note on your door that reads:

"Bubba,

Bertha, Duke, Slim, & I went for more ammo and beer. Be back in an hour.

Don't mess with the pit bulls; they attacked the mailman this morning and messed him up bad. I don't think Killer took part, but it was hard to tell from all the blood. Anyway, I locked all four of 'em in the house.

Better wait outside. Be right back.

[British_Cupcake 1]

1. Go to a secondhand store and buy a pair of men's used size 14-16 work boots.

2. Place them on your front porch, along with a copy of Guns & Ammo Magazine.

3. Put four giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazines.

4. Leave a note on your door that reads:

"Bubba,

Bertha, Duke, Slim, & I went for more ammo and beer. Be back in an hour.

Don't mess with the pit bulls; they attacked the mailman this morning and messed him up bad. I don't think Killer took part, but it was hard to tell from all the blood. Anyway, I locked all four of 'em in the house.

Better wait outside. Be right back.

haha i love this

[JSVP08 3]

1. Go to a secondhand store and buy a pair of men's used size 14-16 work boots.

2. Place them on your front porch, along with a copy of Guns & Ammo Magazine.

3. Put four giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazines.

4. Leave a note on your door that reads:

"Bubba,

Bertha, Duke, Slim, & I went for more ammo and beer. Be back in an hour.

Don't mess with the pit bulls; they attacked the mailman this morning and messed him up bad. I don't think Killer took part, but it was hard to tell from all the blood. Anyway, I locked all four of 'em in the house.

Better wait outside. Be right back.

......

[Kimbear 53]

Not to come over as a smart a*s (I probably do anyway), but you live in . . . . gasp . . . Chicago, Al Capone's headquarters?

I've never, ever felt unsafe here in California, except when I cruised East L.A. after dark back in the mid-90s. I guess it's more a question of the neighborhood you live in, then the country. There are very desirable and very crappy neighborhoods about everywhere, in the US as well as in other countries, save for Monaco.

lol as much as i was scared of that too..its not that big of a deal for me. and i came from a quiet country town in canada. now i live 5 mins north of freaking o'hare airport...for me its mostly the bloody noise and that there are sooooo many people living in the area. but i do miss alot of things...and i did go through anxiety etc..i still dont have many friends..i'm mostly a loner always was a bit.

it does get better...i jsut vent alot by swearing in french which people think is cute as they dont understand a word i say lol.

[james&olya 1,121]

1. Go to a secondhand store and buy a pair of men's used size 14-16 work boots.

2. Place them on your front porch, along with a copy of Guns & Ammo Magazine.

3. Put four giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazines.

4. Leave a note on your door that reads:

"Bubba,

Bertha, Duke, Slim, & I went for more ammo and beer. Be back in an hour.

Don't mess with the pit bulls; they attacked the mailman this morning and messed him up bad. I don't think Killer took part, but it was hard to tell from all the blood. Anyway, I locked all four of 'em in the house.

Better wait outside. Be right back.

I love it!!

[monyfer 27]

I am terrified my fiance is going to have trouble adjusting. He's much more easygoing than me, and can adjust to about anything, but he doesn't really seem happy about coming to the US, and it's making me anxious that he won't acclimate.

I think it is so ironic so many posters are saying they feel unsafe in the US! I spent the last eight months living with my FI in one of the most notoriously dangerous cities in Mexico....so....I feel unbelievably safe here in the US by comparison. I don't think there will be that issue for us, lol. My FI used to freak out if I left things in the car overnight - even DIRTY CLOTHES we were supposed to take to the laundromat - for fear of them getting stolen. So...yeah US is calm by comparison.

I am worried because my FI has never been one of those "I dream of a better life in the US" kind of people, even though eh comes from a "third world" (is developing the more PC term?) country. He has an excellent job there. He loves his countrymen, his culture, his family, his food. He has a lot of anxiety about being treated with racism in the US. Especially because, as we all know, illegal Mexicans in this country are often treated with disdain - but that is because they are often uneducated, don't speak English, etc, etc. I tell my fiance he doesn't have to worry about that: if you saw him walking down the street you could probably tell he was of hispanic origin, but you probably wouldn't know if he was from Spain or Puerto Rico or Argentina! His English is great; he's smart and has a wonderful education.

But I just think the fact that he is already viewing coming to the US with so much anxiety and such a negative outlook, it will really color his experience and...well, self fulfilling prophecies and all..actually cause him to have a negative experience because he believes he will!!! It is causing a lot of tension for us. Any advice to help him feel better about the transition?

[Moosker 7]

I had a hard time at first when I moved here too. Get involved somehow if you can, there are local groups that you can find online. A running club, book club, etc. That helped me get to know people and feel more "connected". We live in the DC area and it's busy and crazy, but so is every big city. We just bought a house and I feel very safe. Feeling unsafe is not worth it, I would definitely talk with your spouse about moving. Is your husband military? Any way to move on base? Friends of our lives there and feel much safer.

[ThomKimQC 14]

Big adjustment for my wife, big culture shock coming from China.

Wow China I can see how moving form China to America can be a huge culture shock! How is her english when you two meet?

[ThomKimQC 14]

Big adjustment for my wife, big culture shock coming from China.

Please disregard the english part you answered that one already didn't see your reply before responding.

[British_Cupcake 1]

I had a hard time at first when I moved here too. Get involved somehow if you can, there are local groups that you can find online. A running club, book club, etc. That helped me get to know people and feel more "connected". We live in the DC area and it's busy and crazy, but so is every big city. We just bought a house and I feel very safe. Feeling unsafe is not worth it, I would definitely talk with your spouse about moving. Is your husband military? Any way to move on base? Friends of our lives there and feel much safer.

Yes he is military but there is no way we can move on base, 17,000 have just got back from deployment and the waiting list is forever and we bought a house too.

[LA80 3]

I used to feel very unsafe and have been here for over 2 years. I am getting better now, feeling more optimistic, but man, did that take time. And today, for the first time in awhile, I felt good about the life. It is important to be surrounded by people who understand you, support you and encourage you, and sometimes it is hard to find such people. That was my greatest problem. Also, focus on the things you love about this place, think of the positive aspects, and try not to let negativity discourage you.

[Samoray 165]

1. Go to a secondhand store and buy a pair of men's used size 14-16 work boots.

2. Place them on your front porch, along with a copy of Guns & Ammo Magazine.

3. Put four giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazines.

4. Leave a note on your door that reads:

"Bubba,

Bertha, Duke, Slim, & I went for more ammo and beer. Be back in an hour.

Don't mess with the pit bulls; they attacked the mailman this morning and messed him up bad. I don't think Killer took part, but it was hard to tell from all the blood. Anyway, I locked all four of 'em in the house.

Better wait outside. Be right back.

[A + M 29]

1. Go to a secondhand store and buy a pair of men's used size 14-16 work boots.

2. Place them on your front porch, along with a copy of Guns & Ammo Magazine.

3. Put four giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazines.

4. Leave a note on your door that reads:

"Bubba,

Bertha, Duke, Slim, & I went for more ammo and beer. Be back in an hour.

Don't mess with the pit bulls; they attacked the mailman this morning and messed him up bad. I don't think Killer took part, but it was hard to tell from all the blood. Anyway, I locked all four of 'em in the house.

Better wait outside. Be right back.