K-1 Visa - Fiancee concerned we engaged before I was divorced

[TeddyHoney 42]

Okay, not sure where to post this. My fiancee and I were having a discussion about our relationship and how it started and all. It seems that there are differences in how a relationship progresses in the Phils versus here in the U.S. Here, when a man asks a woman to marry him and she accepts and says yes, then that is the engagement. It seems its that same int he Phils but the start of the relationship seems to be marked by when the woman tells her feelings to the man that she cares for him in that way. That's not a custom here in the U.Ss as far as I know.

But anyway, my fiancee (Ritchie/SqueezyBear) was very patient in our relationship. I feel for her almost right away and had to really hold beck my feelings awhile, bt letting things show long before she did. It was 5 or 6 months before she revealed to me her true feelings. A month or so after that I asked her to marry me.

She's concerned now that during her interview at the Embassy there, they may ask her when we were engaged. When we met online she new I was married but heading for divorce. That was 2 - 1/2 years ago. So I was still married when I asked her to marry me and she said yes. I did not get officially divorced until August 9, 2010 and we mailed our I-129F petition October 14th 2010.

I realize that in the Philippines they are far more (inderstatement) conservative in matters of marriage nd relationships then we are here. And my fiancee is concerned that if asked in her interview about our engagement date, if we use the true date then questions might arise because of my still being married att he time. I doubt it, but at the same time I can;t be sure because it is a different culture that our and if my fiancee is concerned about it then there must be something to it.

So I just want to ask others if they have been asked this in thier interview/fiancee's interview and whether or not it mattered if you were still married when you became engaged, or if anyone in a similar situation used an engagement date that was after your official divorce decree was dated?

Our 5th month of waiting for NOA2 is not til next month but she is concerned and I'd hate to blow this off and then later it becomes an issue when we don't have time to prepare properly for it.

Thanks!

Derrick and Ritchie

(TeddyHoney and SqueezyBear)

[YuAndDan 153]

I will move this to the PI forum, they will have more specific answers for that Embassy.

[extremerecluse 32]

I will move this to the PI forum, they will have more specific answers for that Embassy.

The forms that you fill out ask you if you are legal able to marry. You were. You answered YES. That is all they need to know. USCIS could care less about the mushy stuff.

[mjaye65 5]

Well I did the same thing.

I was seperated and working on asset seperation so we agreed to call it when i asked her to marry me a date of committment and then after the divorce we did the offical Engagement complete with the party she wanted. It is accepted by her family and mine.

Hope this helps.

[YuAndDan 153]

The forms that you fill out ask you if you are legal able to marry. You were. You answered YES. That is all they need to know. USCIS could care less about the mushy stuff.

However I would address any red-flags, divorce followed by a quick engagement or marriage can be a red-flag.

I would attach a letter in the petition filing detailing prior relationship, divorce, and how met fiancee and engagement. The reasoning is if USCIS sees it and approves, the consulate tends to not be able to use it as a reason for denial.

[TeddyHoney 42]

However I would address any red-flags, divorce followed by a quick engagement or marriage can be a red-flag.

I would attach a letter in the petition filing detailing prior relationship, divorce, and how met fiancee and engagement. The reasoning is if USCIS sees it and approves, the consulate tends to not be able to use it as a reason for denial.

Petition was already filed back in October, but a good idea.

Thanks!

[yhang 20]

Hello, we have the same situation when we got engaged. Hubby officially got his divorced decree May 2010 and we got engaged March 2010. What we did - he included an affidavit of what happened why the engagement came first before the divorced. We also attached copies of emails sent and received by hubby from his ex-wife showing that ex-wife has been living with a different guy for 2 years before we got engaged. They were separated for almost 3 years before we got engaged but they have a daughter who lives in my hubby's place and they wanted the child to finish grade school in the same school in where the child started it. Right after the child's graduation, that was when they filed the divorced and child moved to her mother to continue her middle school. We also have a lot of emails (me and the ex-wife) to show that they are on the process of divorcing when we got engaged and that they are just figuring out how to separate their assets and waiting for the child to graduate from elementary.

They are right, all that matters is you are capable of getting married. Plus, of course, you can show them that the relationship is genuine. If you have emails from your ex showing that you have been talking about divorcing before getting married, that should help her defend herself and your relationship during the interview (although, I'm pretty much sure it's not a big deal).

[sunandmoon 450]

However I would address any red-flags, divorce followed by a quick engagement or marriage can be a red-flag.

I would attach a letter in the petition filing detailing prior relationship, divorce, and how met fiancee and engagement. The reasoning is if USCIS sees it and approves, the consulate tends to not be able to use it as a reason for denial.

Petition was already filed back in October, but a good idea.

Thanks!

having what YuandDan suggests might also be a good idea for when you take the CFO Seminar. it's possible they might ask more questions than the CO when you have your interview at the Embassy

[yhang 20]

having what YuandDan suggests might also be a good idea for when you take the CFO Seminar. it's possible they might ask more questions than the CO when you have your interview at the Embassy

They (CFO people) did ask me about it when I got my CFO certification. They can really ask a lot but they can't do anything about the petition. At the end of the seminar, you pay the seminar fee and they'll give you the certificate. That's all about it. I would recommend securing an affidavit from the ex-wife if they can (if she's worried about 'it' being a red flag). Any emails that shows they are on the process of separating before the engagement will work too. Like emails from the petitioner's family talking about their relationship. We have those and like I said, I have a lot of emails too from his ex-wife thanking me for coming to his ex-husband's life after she left him for someone else. Main point - our relationship is not the cause of their divorce, to show I'm not a home wrecker and someone who is having an affair to a married man with an existing wife in his bed.

But really, as long as the relationship is bonafide and you have evidence to prove it - you'll get it!

[TeddyHoney 42]

Hello, we have the same situation when we got engaged. Hubby officially got his divorced decree May 2010 and we got engaged March 2010. What we did - he included an affidavit of what happened why the engagement came first before the divorced. We also attached copies of emails sent and received by hubby from his ex-wife showing that ex-wife has been living with a different guy for 2 years before we got engaged. They were separated for almost 3 years before we got engaged but they have a daughter who lives in my hubby's place and they wanted the child to finish grade school in the same school in where the child started it. Right after the child's graduation, that was when they filed the divorced and child moved to her mother to continue her middle school. We also have a lot of emails (me and the ex-wife) to show that they are on the process of divorcing when we got engaged and that they are just figuring out how to separate their assets and waiting for the child to graduate from elementary.

They are right, all that matters is you are capable of getting married. Plus, of course, you can show them that the relationship is genuine. If you have emails from your ex showing that you have been talking about divorcing before getting married, that should help her defend herself and your relationship during the interview (although, I'm pretty much sure it's not a big deal).

Thanks for your advice. Yes our situation is very similar. My ex is also Filipina and even she was the one that was sleeping around and then with this guy who she had baby with 18 months ago, she is being very nasty. During our first year of separation we were still okay and talked and all and the kids were with both of us. But after she got pregnant she then filed the divorce and stopped talking to me and kept her son from communication with me because her behavior made her look bad to the court in the custody case. Anyway, we don't talk hardly at all unless she wants something from me and she already tried to contact my fiancee to tell her bad things about me but my fiancee has ignored her so she has stopped that. So she is not mature enough for relationship with me and my fiancee like you have with your husband's ex and yourself. My fiancee and I are capable, but my ex is not. Even she is with who she wants now (they just got married this past weekend) and she supposedly happy (he has more money than me) she still acting like a child and giving me hard time about comunicating with my daughter who she has custody of.

Thanks anyway.

[TeddyHoney 42]

They (CFO people) did ask me about it when I got my CFO certification. They can really ask a lot but they can't do anything about the petition. At the end of the seminar, you pay the seminar fee and they'll give you the certificate. That's all about it. I would recommend securing an affidavit from the ex-wife if they can (if she's worried about 'it' being a red flag). Any emails that shows they are on the process of separating before the engagement will work too. Like emails from the petitioner's family talking about their relationship. We have those and like I said, I have a lot of emails too from his ex-wife thanking me for coming to his ex-husband's life after she left him for someone else. Main point - our relationship is not the cause of their divorce, to show I'm not a home wrecker and someone who is having an affair to a married man with an existing wife in his bed.

But really, as long as the relationship is bonafide and you have evidence to prove it - you'll get it!

Oh my ex would love to deny me that if she thinks it will hold up or cause us to get denial of the VISA petition! Yes, that's how she is even she has been on to her knew life for a few years now and supposedly so happy, she would still take any opportunity to try to ruin my life.

[PreciousOne 4]

our love story also begins while his divorced is pending but physically separated for 2 yrs when we first met.Then after his divorced is granted he filed I129F after 1yr from the date of his divorced decree.could this be also affect our k1 process?

[yhang 20]

Personally, I believe that as long as you can prove that your relationship is bonafide and it is really bona fide, you don't have to worry. Sure the CO will really squeeze something from you because they have the mentality that every case has fraud involved. We all have the same situation. the only thing, I guess, that makes ours different is that we are both friends with her ex-wife. Well not really close friends but at least we're civil enough to talk about some things. Plus, like I said, I have emails coming from the ex-wife showing that she is already living with someone else for almost 3 years now and wishing us luck in our relationship. She (ex-wife) is also willing to do a sworn statement detailing how their relationship ended. She said that's the least she could do considering what she have done to my husband. I am sorry that you have such uncooperative ex-partner. Gather as much as evidence you have. As far as I know (and read here on VJ), as long as you are capable to get married or the marriage is legal, all you need to provide are supporting docs. I'm still positive that we will all get through this

[James and Cynthia 70]

Oh my ex would love to deny me that if she thinks it will hold up or cause us to get denial of the VISA petition! Yes, that's how she is even she has been on to her knew life for a few years now and supposedly so happy, she would still take any opportunity to try to ruin my life.

My ex would do the same; anything for more money or to make my life harder.

I am in the same boat. I was seperated from my ex a little over a year before I proposed to my fiancee. My divorce took 1 1/2 years, so I wasn't officially divorced until 6 months after getting engaged. I didn't mention anything about this in my petition. I'm hoping this won't affect our case, especially since I admitted through evidence that I met my fiancee before seperating from my ex. We have already been approved by USCIS, so I guess we'll see how it goes at the interview. I'm not too concerned because we have plenty of evidence to show a bonifide relationship. We have nothing to hide and we have done nothing wrong. I see no reason why they would deny us.

-James

[TeddyHoney 42]

our love story also begins while his divorced is pending but physically separated for 2 yrs when we first met.Then after his divorced is granted he filed I129F after 1yr from the date of his divorced decree.could this be also affect our k1 process?

I really don't think so. I'm investigating this because my fiancee seems to have some concerns about what may be asked in the interview as I'm sure she's feeling that it might make her look bad because she has been with me and communicating etc, even when I was still married. I know the USCIS won;t care about that. But the Philippines is a little more conservative about these things. But as others have said here on VJ, we are both legally free to marry.

Thanks for your comment.