Age Difference

[Anh map 2,098]

We've got alot of evidence to show the evolution of relationship.....proof wasn't really my problem, i just wanted to know if they would have denied us an interview just by looking at our age age difference.

Thanks for your input, it's really appreciated!

You won't be denied for an age difference. It will be the questions/issues that the age difference brings out.

For example: If your USC spouse is older and has medical needs and you've just completed a medical related program of study then the interviewer may question the USC's motive. Are they seeking a spouse or caregiver? These scenario's have come up here on VJ in the past. So being prepared for any line of questioning is wise.

Your age gap is almost twice that of ours and it was questioned at the interview.

Best of luck.

[shelly-bug 15]

You won't be denied for an age difference. It will be the questions/issues that the age difference brings out.

For example: If your USC spouse is older and has medical needs and you've just completed a medical related program of study then the interviewer may question the USC's motive. Are they seeking a spouse or caregiver? These scenario's have come up here on VJ in the past. So being prepared for any line of questioning is wise.

Your age gap is almost twice that of ours and it was questioned at the interview.

Best of luck.

[shelly-bug 15]

Ok, thank you, and he is very healthy, he acts way younger than his age, so we are free of medical problems right now.

Your input was highly appreciated, thank you soooooooo much!!

[Myopia 93]

I have been in the US since June on my j1 visa which is now expired, i have been with my now husband for 1 year, because we started dating january 2010. I decided to spend my 30 days extension with him after my program was completed, but we fell in love so badly that he didn't want me to leave. He is 40 years older than me, but we connect on level that's unbelievable!.....We got married on January 22 of this year, and we have a lawyer working on our case, to adjust my status and have my husband petition for me. My only concern however is our age difference, will they just look at it and instantly deny us without even an interview?

We have evidence of our relationship, pictures, emails, letters from to each other, from friends and family, no jooint bank statement or utilities, because all those are under his name already. But i will be putting some of the bills in my name shortly. We buy each other gifts, and he buys my birth-control all the time....(i am not ready for a baby until about December), we have records of our phone conversations, when he calls me in Jamaica, which is almost everyday after we met online.

I think you would have a better ride if you were trying for a child together than him buying you birth control. I have nothing to add other than I know a woman who's husband is much older than her. She is 30 and he is 65 and they have been together since she was 18. They have 7 kids together.

[HappyRs 8]

The birth certificates of my husband's and mine record a big age difference too (not quite 40 years, though), without having that difference in real life. Expect this to be an issue at the interview and just be ready to answer any questions. What worked for me at the embassy was that I did not get defensive at all, but explained everything with calm. I told the CO that I was aware of the prejudices strangers might have and I understood his point of view, but things in real life are different than how they seem when seen from outside. definitely bring all the photos and proofs you can (yes, we have to make an extra effort than those who marry their peers) and the truth will, hopefully, prevail. Best of luck!

[katiemanny 64]

Him buying birth control for her is red flag... Anyone else?

How old are you? How old is he?

[shelly-bug 15]

I think you would have a better ride if you were trying for a child together than him buying you birth control. I have nothing to add other than I know a woman who's husband is much older than her. She is 30 and he is 65 and they have been together since she was 18. They have 7 kids together.

[shelly-bug 15]

The choice of birth control is my decision, he has two older son and he says he wants a daughter, but i am not ready for a baby as yet, i told him to wait until december or January....HE HAS BEEN BUGGING ME FOR A BABY EVER SINCE I WAS IN JAMAICA, BUT I TOLD HIM TO WAIT UNTIL I AM READY.

AND PLEASE for those who have nothing good to say just keep your comments to your-self THANK YOU. because first of all you don't know my husband and you don't know me, of course, i knew this would have aroused suspicions, but do we care?...NO!....why?.....because we are inlove....

For all the encouraging comments i got thank you, and for the others?...hmmm??....SHUTTY!

[Aztec&Taino 144]

The choice of birth control is my decision, he has two older son and he says he wants a daughter, but i am not ready for a baby as yet, i told him to wait until december or January....HE HAS BEEN BUGGING ME FOR A BABY EVER SINCE I WAS IN JAMAICA, BUT I TOLD HIM TO WAIT UNTIL I AM READY.

AND PLEASE for those who have nothing good to say just keep your comments to your-self THANK YOU. because first of all you don't know my husband and you don't know me, of course, i knew this would have aroused suspicions, but do we care?...NO!....why?.....because we are inlove....

For all the encouraging comments i got thank you, and for the others?...hmmm??....SHUTTY!

Yikes!

You should have known that people would give their opinions and that not all would be positive. An age difference of 40 years is very big, but also important are the ages. The level of maturity of an 18 year old is very different from a 28 year old's for instance. The fact that you say you are not ready for a baby and the language in this quoted post makes me think that you are very young. You will definitely be confronted with suspicion, therefore the best that you can do would be to prepare and gather as much evidence as you possibly can. Best wishes!

[TRELAWNY PARISH 10]

Hi Shelly --

I'll tell you what they asked my cousin over and over again at her AOS interview in FL a few months ago...they had a large age difference...she's 22 he's 57...they questioned her over and and over again about their age difference (does) it concern her, does she have any issues with it, does she plan on having children with a man who has grown children and is also a grandfather, they also asked her about their sex life and so on and some of the questions were very personal to both of them and made her very uncomfortable. She was also asked if she was using him for a greencard. They also asked him some of the same questions. Her interview was suppose to be an hour or so -- they spent about 3 hours there. The majority of the questions or concerns the person interviewing them had was about their age. They're both going for a second interview in May. All I can say is be prepared because they can ask you any question they want. Best of luck.

[shelly-bug 15]

Hi Shelly --

I'll tell you what they asked my cousin over and over again at her AOS interview in FL a few months ago...they had a large age difference...she's 22 he's 57...they questioned her over and and over again about their age difference (does) it concern her, does she have any issues with it, does she plan on having children with a man who has grown children and is also a grandfather, they also asked her about their sex life and so on and some of the questions were very personal to both of them and made her very uncomfortable. She was also asked if she was using him for a greencard. They also asked him some of the same questions. Her interview was suppose to be an hour or so -- they spent about 3 hours there. The majority of the questions or concerns the person interviewing them had was about their age. They're both going for a second interview in May. All I can say is be prepared because they can ask you any question they want. Best of luck.

[shelly-bug 15]

WOW, thank you Miss Trelawny......i will now be more aware where the questions are concerned, and we are in the process of getting our documents prepared to prove that we are a bona-fide couple.

To the other person who replied i am pretty young, and i have set my goal to have my first child at 25 years old, so when we get to that bridge we will cross it.....Thanks alot for you input also.....

I just have confidence, that this will work out, and i joined this forum to get encouraging information....so far i have gotten alot, and chose to ignore the negative few.

[Rick_ES_USA 13]

There is a 40 years difference

So you must be around 20 and he must be over 60 years old.

You know… having a kid with your husband would definitely help your cause … and in your case you need to get all the help you can.

Here is a possible line of thinking for an IO:

So how come your husband begs you to have a kid and you say no because you´re not ready. It´s not like time is no your side, at least not on your husband´s. If you truly loved your husband you would give him a kid asap… or are you in this just for the immigration benefit?

Please don´t get upset! … this is just practice for you when you face the real IO at the interview

[shelly-bug 15]

There is a 40 years difference

So you must be around 20 and he must be over 60 years old.

You know… having a kid with your husband would definitely help your cause … and in your case you need to get all the help you can.

Here is a possible line of thinking for an IO:

So how come your husband begs you to have a kid and you say no because you´re not ready. It´s not like time is no your side, at least not on your husband´s. If you truly loved your husband you would give him a kid asap… or are you in this just for the immigration benefit?

Please don´t get upset! … this is just practice for you when you face the real IO at the interview

[shelly-bug 15]

I won't get upset, LOL!.....Well i they won't know that he wants a baby, because we won't bring it up, and if they do, we just simply tell them that we are planning on getting pregnant in december, and if they ask why december, we say because we want the baby to be borned in a a certain month....how's that?

But seriously though we know all these questions will arise so we are almost prepared for their interrogation.

I am 24 this year by the way.