Age Difference

[shelly-bug 15]

I have been in the US since June on my j1 visa which is now expired, i have been with my now husband for 1 year, because we started dating january 2010. I decided to spend my 30 days extension with him after my program was completed, but we fell in love so badly that he didn't want me to leave. He is 40 years older than me, but we connect on level that's unbelievable!.....We got married on January 22 of this year, and we have a lawyer working on our case, to adjust my status and have my husband petition for me. My only concern however is our age difference, will they just look at it and instantly deny us without even an interview?

We have evidence of our relationship, pictures, emails, letters from to each other, from friends and family, no jooint bank statement or utilities, because all those are under his name already. But i will be putting some of the bills in my name shortly. We buy each other gifts, and he buys my birth-control all the time....(i am not ready for a baby until about December), we have records of our phone conversations, when he calls me in Jamaica, which is almost everyday after we met online.

[JimVaPhuong 4,863]

I have been in the US since June on my j1 visa which is now expired, i have been with my now husband for 1 year, because we started dating january 2010. I decided to spend my 30 days extension with him after my program was completed, but we fell in love so badly that he didn't want me to leave. He is 40 years older than me, but we connect on level that's unbelievable!.....We got married on January 22 of this year, and we have a lawyer working on our case, to adjust my status and have my husband petition for me. My only concern however is our age difference, will they just look at it and instantly deny us without even an interview?

We have evidence of our relationship, pictures, emails, letters from to each other, from friends and family, no jooint bank statement or utilities, because all those are under his name already. But i will be putting some of the bills in my name shortly. We buy each other gifts, and he buys my birth-control all the time....(i am not ready for a baby until about December), we have records of our phone conversations, when he calls me in Jamaica, which is almost everyday after we met online.

Age difference is a factor they are permitted to consider. 40 years is a very big age difference. I think you can expect some scrutiny. In fact, if I were you, I'd be expecting a LOT of scrutiny.

[Penguin_ie 5,993]

I doubt they will deny you without interview, but you can expect an extensive interview. One of the things they may ask is why you have no jont accounts- ie why he doesn't give you access to his money (or that is what it sounds like from their point of view).

Edited February 22, 2011 by Penguin_ie

[RICARDO4EVA2 194]

This IS NOT COMMON for the "culture" of a jamaican relationship. Oh,yes you will be interviewed alright with a 40 difference that is a red flag and not typical of Jamaican women.

[shelly-bug 15]

This IS NOT COMMON for the "culture" of a jamaican relationship. Oh,yes you will be interviewed alright with a 40 difference that is a red flag and not typical of Jamaican women.

[shelly-bug 15]

It's always been a choice of mine to date older guys, and ironically he prefers to date younger women, he was married before to an african american girl who was 30 years younger than him. And for you to say it's not Jamaican Culture to marry an older guy....you need to think again, because i can clearly remember my grandma telling me they were married to older guys,when they were young, because their parents wanted them to be with someone who is more likely to care of them, and it is still very dominant now...especially school girls dating older men and taxi drivers, etc...i could go on and on about that.... so i think you need to research more on that. Anyway that is not the case here, he will be adding me to his bank account, and adding me to his living will ect.

I wanna thank everyone who responded, and i know we will be in for a ride....LOL!....

[RICARDO4EVA2 194]

It's always been a choice of mine to date older guys, and ironically he prefers to date younger women, he was married before to an african american girl who was 30 years younger than him. And for you to say it's not Jamaican Culture to marry an older guy....you need to think again, because i can clearly remember my grandma telling me they were married to older guys,when they were young, because their parents wanted them to be with someone who is more likely to care of them, and it is still very dominant now...especially school girls dating older men and taxi drivers, etc...i could go on and on about that.... so i think you need to research more on that. Anyway that is not the case here, he will be adding me to his bank account, and adding me to his living will ect.

I wanna thank everyone who responded, and i know we will be in for a ride....LOL!....

... I agree there are school girls dating older men.... Taxi men.... They are gold diggers. Research completed. Wasnt trying to attack you but u seemed distraught... Its you who have something to worry about...immigration concerning THIS dilemma... Not me or the school girl/s.

Gave my info.

Enjoy

[shelly-bug 15]

... I agree there are school girls dating older men.... Taxi men.... They are gold diggers. Research completed. Wasnt trying to attack you but u seemed distraught... Its you who have something to worry about...immigration concerning THIS dilemma... Not me or the school girl/s.

Gave my info.

Enjoy

[LIFE'SJOURNEY 970]

STOP Shelly, you will probably be asked some questions concerning the age difference, as well as your husband. It does not have to be a show-stopper. Please tell me why do everyone concentrate on age, a 40 man can act like a 21 year old young man, the same goes for women. If you are comfortable with it, why let anyone else's concerns bother you. Isn't your interview in the US, b/c you are adjusting statu you may get questioned a little more about the age difference, because of how you are obtaining your status change.

[shelly-bug 15]

I think for you to say women dating older guys is because they want money or as you term it "gold-diggers" are the wrong choice of words. Every individual is different, sometimes they turn to older guys because they can get moral support, encouragement, etc. For me, i feel more love from my husband than when i was dating a younger guy. I feel i like can trust him with anything, he won't cheat on me, use me, he is settled, knows what he wants, i don't have to worry about him being a thug in the streets or anything like that and for me the feeling is mutual. Anyway i thank you for your input NOT distraught by the way, was just wondering if anyone was in a similar position and would like to give some knowledgeable advice, from their experience. After-all, i thought that's what this forum was for.

We will get through in the end, because LOVE always PREVAIL!

Thanks again.

[shelly-bug 15]

STOP Shelly, you will probably be asked some questions concerning the age difference, as well as your husband. It does not have to be a show-stopper. Please tell me why do everyone concentrate on age, a 40 man can act like a 21 year old young man, the same goes for women. If you are comfortable with it, why let anyone else's concerns bother you. Isn't your interview in the US, b/c you are adjusting statu you may get questioned a little more about the age difference, because of how you are obtaining your status change.

[shelly-bug 15]

That's the same thing i say......i will be interviewed in the US, but i have a long ways to go, as my filing will start next week.

Thank you so much for your encouragement.....that's what i've been wanting to hear!

[Anh map 2,098]

The likely big question in the interviewer's mind will be did you marry him to stay in the US or because you two have developed a strong relationship.

The age gap will be a possible red flag. You marrying at the end of your authorized stay could be another. So be prepared to demonstrate the evolution of your relationship. And be able to cite stronger evidence of a relationship than purchases at the pharmacy.

*Moved from Adjustment of Status Family visa forum to Adjustment of status - Work, Student, & Tourist visa forum as OP is wanting to adjust from J1 visa*

Edited February 22, 2011 by Anh map

[shelly-bug 15]

The likely big question in the interviewer's mind will be did you marry him to stay in the US or because you two have developed a strong relationship.

The age gap will be a possible red flag. You marrying at the end of your authorized stay could be another. So be prepared to demonstrate the evolution of your relationship. And be able to cite stronger evidence of a relationship than purchases at the pharmacy.

*Moved from Adjustment of Status Family visa forum to Adjustment of status - Work, Student, & Tourist visa forum as OP is wanting to adjust from J1 visa*

[shelly-bug 15]

We've got alot of evidence to show the evolution of relationship.....proof wasn't really my problem, i just wanted to know if they would have denied us an interview just by looking at our age age difference.

Thanks for your input, it's really appreciated!