Evil people trying to split my family up

[IR5FORMUMSIE 850]

I've been telling everyone here that Facebook is bad, but nobody listens to me. Of course I'm probably the only person in the world not on Facebook.

I use Facebook for medicinal purposes only and I never take it internally. :yes:

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

My husband received his visa packet yesterday, so he'll be coming to the US to live next week.

We've been together for about 3 years. I'm close with his family. His brothers email me and call me and stuff all the time, just to say what's up. My husband is about 8 years younger than I am, but we're both pretty young, so it doesn't really seem like a big difference (although I'm like 500 times more mature than he is).

So, this morning, some anonymous person emailed me on Facebook to tell me that my husband has another wife and a baby in his hometown, and that I shouldn't let him abandon his family. They go on to say that his family and friends all know it. And that if I forgive him for it, that he will just do it again.

Let me start by saying that this is absolutely not true. I'd have to be an idiot for him to have been able to pull the wool over my eyes for so long. Before we got married I told my husband that if he wanted to be with someone else, he just had to tell me and we could dissolve our relationship amicably.

Due to some foolish shooting in the air as celebration on New Year's eve, his cousin is sitting in jail while the police are investigating the involuntary manslaughter of another cousin. Since then, my husband and his brother (who were not involved in the crime at all) was beaten up in their hometown by a gang of about 15 men. They suffered through severe beating leaving them with severe bruising and cuts. Those responsible being people from the family the dead cousin. People seeking retribution.

Me...being the investigative person that I am...I did some research on the fake account...only to find that the person was viewing facebook in English and was using the English, US version of facebook. Meaning, it's not someone in his hometown who sent me the message. Also, the account was created to send me this message...since the only thing they "liked" or the only "interest" that they had was my university and they had one friend when they sent me the message.

I believe that this is the efforts of someone either jealous of our relationship or jealous of his ability to leave the hell they live in. My husband is very poor and I am very not poor. So...he's definitely going to be benefiting from this change in his life.

Clearly I was upset about this, and when I told my husband about the email that I had received, he said that if he found out who sent that, he would kill them. (And he does mean KILL.) To which I replied that he should just let it go...get through the next 7 days, and then forget about it altogether.

Anyone have any opinion as to whether I handled this situation wisely? I thought I was being wise until my friend (a friend I've had for 15 years) asked me... well, is it true? hahahaha.

Any thoughts? Or is this just the act of a hater trying to keep other people down?

[AmyWrites 593]

Many people in the DR use the English FB. I wouldn't take it as "proof" it wasn't real.

And I'm trying not to be judgmental, but my family is of a similar culture (Puerto Rican... and I don't know if you're aware of this but a common scam among Dominican men is to "fall in love with" and marry a Puerto Rican, who is a US citizen, and eventually split), and yes, if I were you I would really, really believe this to be true. The fact that your sister said he'd benefit would raise a huge red flag for me as well.

But if you've known him for years and trust him, well at most have a talk with him about it and ask the person for "proof"... and get a prenup, just in case.

[VanessaTony 3,567]

I vote for rocking up completely unannounced. Don't tell ANYONE you're going. Don't tell your husband, or your mother, or sister or anyone.

Another idea would be to reply to them and ask for evidence (pics of him with the woman & child). I would ask them for the phone number of the woman/child, and/or the address.

Another idea could be to tell the poster that you're no longer together or that you knew about it all along or that your relationship is just for show (don't tell anyone but your husband that you're doing this) and see who comes up and laughs about it to him, or his family or who knows about it.. because only the person who you sent the email to would know and lets hope reveal themselves.

[Fandango 1,439]

No, i agree FB is bad!!! Unreal what it has done to my life!

What's that?

[Mary Lou 681]

What's that?

PM me

[Fandango 1,439]

PM me

I'm not trying to pry, I thought since you alluded to it you wouldn't mind sharing publically.

Sorry for the intrustion! <3

[Kim & Delvy 0]

I vote for rocking up completely unannounced. Don't tell ANYONE you're going. Don't tell your husband, or your mother, or sister or anyone.

Another idea would be to reply to them and ask for evidence (pics of him with the woman & child). I would ask them for the phone number of the woman/child, and/or the address.

Another idea could be to tell the poster that you're no longer together or that you knew about it all along or that your relationship is just for show (don't tell anyone but your husband that you're doing this) and see who comes up and laughs about it to him, or his family or who knows about it.. because only the person who you sent the email to would know and lets hope reveal themselves.

UPDATE:

I got another message this morning. The message says:

"The only thing I want is that <MY HUSBAND> doesn't forget his baby in <HIS HOMETOWN> and send stuff for milk and diapers."

Still no identity information, no proof, no nothing. Just general statements that could be crafted by anyone.

Edited February 21, 2011 by Kim & Delvy

[Kim & Delvy 0]

If it ever happen to me I'd send a reply to that 'message' and ask for proof (since the 'sender' seems to be interested in my well-being and want to protect me of a scammer). If it's true then there should be proof, such as pictures, names, letters... if the 'sender' didnt reply or couldnt get you any real proof but a word of mouth, then it have a more posibility that it's a make up story.

First....ADORABLE BABY!!!!! CONGRATS!

Anya-D: I totally hear you!!! I was tempted to reply to the sender after today's message asking for proof, but I think the story is so far fetched that it's probably torturing the sender that I'm not responding. I can only imagine their agony that I'm not buying into the lie.

[Fandango 1,439]

I dunno, Kim...are you sure you're just not too scared to see the proof?

[Kim & Delvy 0]

I dunno, Kim...are you sure you're just not too scared to see the proof?

Nah. Proof wouldn't scare me. Why would it? I'm very (very) self sufficient and self reliant, thus...if there were proof, I'd have no problem with being like... this marriage is a wrap. Good luck (ex-hubby)...vaya con Dios. I'm too special/important/significant to not value my own life/future/happiness.

So, if there was any proof to be had, I'm sure it would have surfaced by now. The fact that the sender is anonymous speaks to their credibility. I could find any of you people on Facebook and do the same. That doesn't make it true...

[LIFE'SJOURNEY 970]

Kim, listen to your instinct, and I believe you do have some concerns, if you didn't you would never had posted this on a public board. R 'e-read your last statement, who would have any interest in breaking up your marriage. This is your marriage and how you handle it is your business, but remember this situation is not unusual.

Edited February 21, 2011 by LIFE'SJOURNEY

[Kim & Delvy 0]

Kim, listen to your instinct, and I believe you do have some concerns, if you didn't you would never had posted this on a public board. R 'e-read your last statement, who would have any interest in breaking up your marriage. This is your marriage and how you handle it is your business, but remember this situation is not unusual.

See...my instincts tell me that this is not true and that it's the act of someone looking to trash something good or to see retribution for the cousin's murder.

I posted to see what other people thought of the situation. Not to listen to people that I don't know and don't know me. That would be ridiculous. I agree that the situation is forked up, but I have safeguarded my money and my lifestyle from any such risk. Only thing at risk would be my feelings, and if you knew me, you'd know that that isn't a big risk. Again...I'm not overly romantic. I'm a realist. I am also very keen, so I tend to see people for who they are, not for who I want them to be.

I don't feed into drama or BS. That's crazy!

[Mary Lou 681]

I'm not trying to pry, I thought since you alluded to it you wouldn't mind sharing publically.

Sorry for the intrustion! <3

No problem Lisa.

Well my hubby conducted 2 affairs within a years time on FB is all.

[TracyTN 237]

To answer your original question - yes, you handled the situation wisely. You asked your fiance about it, and he gave you his answer.

It seems like you still have some doubts - otherwise you'd just be able to write it off as a crackpot and not fret about it to the point of making a thread here. If I still had these concerns, I would go to the DR for a 'surprise' visit and see what's what.