Evil people trying to split my family up

[Dan and Judy 614]

She said that if anything, he (and his supposed other family) would benefit from coming here. Not from us splitting up. So, who would have motive to write such a thing?

If he has another wife behind your back and lets assume she knows about you. She has been benefiting up to now,

However everything is about to change for her.

The big question now is does she trust him to come here and keep supporting her and use you just long enough to get the required status, dump you and work on bringing her and Jr over here?

Or does she feel that since he's been lying to and using you that he can not be trusted?

If she dosn't feel he can be trusted, then the only way to hold on to her boyfriend/lover /husband/father of her child is to break you two up and keep him from going.

She would loose you as the meal ticket but she would keep her man.

She would have the motive.

I believe you are in a more powerful position before he gets to the states. If you get divorced here does he get half of everything you own? You would be on the hook for spousal support for a long time. You've got a lot to lose.

It's possible he is just an innocent victim here. but the worst place to get advice is from his family and friends.

The title of the post says where you are emotionally and that means you would probably rather not here the things I said but you indicated you had some doubts and I'm saying the doubt is reasonable

[Kim & Delvy 0]

She said that if anything, he (and his supposed other family) would benefit from coming here. Not from us splitting up. So, who would have motive to write such a thing?

If he has another wife behind your back and lets assume she knows about you. She has been benefiting up to now,

However everything is about to change for her.

The big question now is does she trust him to come here and keep supporting her and use you just long enough to get the required status, dump you and work on bringing her and Jr over here?

Or does she feel that since he's been lying to and using you that he can not be trusted?

If she dosn't feel he can be trusted, then the only way to hold on to her boyfriend/lover /husband/father of her child is to break you two up and keep him from going.

She would loose you as the meal ticket but she would keep her man.

She would have the motive.

I believe you are in a more powerful position before he gets to the states. If you get divorced here does he get half of everything you own? You would be on the hook for spousal support for a long time. You've got a lot to lose.

It's possible he is just an innocent victim here. but the worst place to get advice is from his family and friends.

The title of the post says where you are emotionally and that means you would probably rather not here the things I said but you indicated you had some doubts and I'm saying the doubt is reasonable

I'm absolutely willing to listen to other people's ideas on this. I knew that most people would jump to the conclusion that it's true, and I just wanted to hear what people might think of such a case. Clearly, I have known my husband for years and am going to rely on my experience with him rather than conjecture from people we don't know but it's true...my first instinct was that the message was sent by some evil person in his town expressing jealousy. After further thought, I am even more convinced that it is the act of some petty "friend."

The truth of the matter is that, I really don't support the huz financially. I don't spend, so why should I help someone else spend? That's bananas. I think that over the 3 years we've been together, he's received less money from me than I spend on groceries in one month. And that's been for things that I saw as necessities (like a doctor's visit when he had mumps and transportation on our anniversary trip). He benefits most by me visiting and us staying in a rental or at a hotel (being steps up from his normal home life). But, as far as money....he's on his own. I don't believe in charity to someone who is able to earn for themselves....

Also, as I mention, I'm not really the romantic type, so I absolutely have a pre-nup which stipulates that he gets nothing under any circumstances. Even my life insurance gets paid out to my brother for him to use as he sees fit.... Additionally, my assets are in my company's name and thus protected.

Remember...I'm not a fool...even if his intentions have always been and will always be noble, I believe in protecting myself...my momma didn't raise no fool!

I personally think it's a trick to try to ruin his life on the part of the same people who have been trying to do bad things to his family since the issue with the cousin started on Jan 1st. Nothing in my history with the huz leads me to believe that he would be calculating or able to fool me in such a way. I don't have on rose tinted glasses, and I never have.

[anya-D 8]

If it ever happen to me I'd send a reply to that 'message' and ask for proof (since the 'sender' seems to be interested in my well-being and want to protect me of a scammer). If it's true then there should be proof, such as pictures, names, letters... if the 'sender' didnt reply or couldnt get you any real proof but a word of mouth, then it have a more posibility that it's a make up story.

[Dan and Judy 614]

sounds like you're in the drivers seat with the Pre nup, you'd still be on the hook to support him but thats not nearly as bad as losing half of everything you own. The fact that you have not been sending money puts things in a better light.

With the new info, I'd say this is not a crisis moment. You can bring him over and just see what happens. I'd still put a key logger on my computer for the first month or so.

[Kim & Delvy 0]

sounds like you're in the drivers seat with the Pre nup, you'd still be on the hook to support him but thats not nearly as bad as losing half of everything you own. The fact that you have not been sending money puts things in a better light.

With the new info, I'd say this is not a crisis moment. You can bring him over and just see what happens. I'd still put a key logger on my computer for the first month or so.

Absolutely. I'd say about 50% of my friends are lawyers. They'd disown me if I didn't have a pre-nup.

Alright, so....is the advice of the board... stay vigilant and still move forward? I think that's my gut feeling. Just wondering if you guys would do the same.

[LIFE'SJOURNEY 970]

Kim, this statement has me concern "So, this morning, some anonymous person emailed me on Facebook to tell me that my husband has another wife and a baby in his hometown, and that I shouldn't let him abandon his family. They go on to say that his family and friends all know it. And that if I forgive him for it, that he will just do it again "

Have you gone to his hometown un-announced? What are you prepared to do if you find out all of this is true once he has arrived and settled in.

How did someone find you on facebook, does your husband have a FB account that is connected to your account?

[Kim & Delvy 0]

Kim, this statement has me concern "So, this morning, some anonymous person emailed me on Facebook to tell me that my husband has another wife and a baby in his hometown, and that I shouldn't let him abandon his family. They go on to say that his family and friends all know it. And that if I forgive him for it, that he will just do it again "

Have you gone to his hometown un-announced? What are you prepared to do if you find out all of this is true once he has arrived and settled in.

How did someone find you on facebook, does your husband have a FB account that is connected to your account?

My husband doesn't really have an electronic existence. He has an email account, but all of his messages are forwarded to me in addition to staying in his inbox.

Everytime I go to his hometown it's unannounced. I'll be there, and we'll be in our rental or a hotel like an hour and a half away, and then we'll just go to his hometown and spend the day with his family. No one will know we're coming until we're there. Then we'll watch a baseball game or go to a restaurant or go to the beach or whatever and kick it at his house basically all day. So, yeah, I've been there unannounced, but not like... I'm here in Baltimore, and just show up in his town without him knowing that I'll be there.

I think that if any part of this is true, I'm prepared to give him the boot and tell him he has to figure out his own sh*t but that he can count me out. I am a firm believer in there being plenty of fish in the sea. And with that said...I'm always willing to throw back a blowfish. I've told him in the past that if he ever plays me...I don't care if we have 10 kids, that'll be the last he sees of me and if I can help it, it'll be the last he sees of his kids.

I think they found me by me being connected to his brothers. His brothers are on Facebook and they post on my wall all the time. So, it would have been feasible for someone to find me. But, my dog also has a facebook account that's linked to his brothers (actually, only linked to one brother...so now I think I know which brother's account they found me through) and the message was actually sent to my dog's facebook account, not to mine. GENIUSES HERE!

[Utha 10]

My girl is in the Philippines. We talk every day and the couple of weeks we were acctually together were great but she could be could be seeing 3 different guys a day without getting caught by me.

I don't think she is but it would be silly of me to think she couldn't.

My question would be, If he does have a wife and baby over there would you forgive him and continue or would that be a deal killer for you? If he's going to be coming here next week you don't have time to do any serious investigating before he gets here. You could find out what you've got within a week of his getting here by putting a key logger on your computer. If you want to delay buying his ticket you could tell him someone stole your purse with all your credit cards and you froze all your accounts so you can't charge his ticket until next week. If money is no problem for you, you could

hire a private investigator to check it out before he comes. one thing for sure is, it is a lot harder to get rid of them once they are here.

Agree. Dont let love blinds you.

[panamania79 2]

Another reason to avoid Facebook.

Facebook is evil.My husband's family tried to break us up for the longest time before he came from Panama.And the moment he stepped off the plane they were all "just so happy" he was here.They are a bunch of two-faced weirdoes!

[spookyturtle 9,465]

Facebook is evil.My husband's family tried to break us up for the longest time before he came from Panama.And the moment he stepped off the plane they were all "just so happy" he was here.They are a bunch of two-faced weirdoes!

I've been telling everyone here that Facebook is bad, but nobody listens to me. Of course I'm probably the only person in the world not on Facebook.

[Rebecca Jo 1,962]

By "unannounced" I think that means arriving in your husband's hometown without your husband knowing you are arriving.

Not his family and friends not knowing you are there.

[Nagishkaw 510]

I've been telling everyone here that Facebook is bad, but nobody listens to me. Of course I'm probably the only person in the world not on Facebook.

[spookyturtle 9,465]

Facebook isn't bad or you're not a member either?

[Mary Lou 681]

I've been telling everyone here that Facebook is bad, but nobody listens to me. Of course I'm probably the only person in the world not on Facebook.

No, i agree FB is bad!!! Unreal what it has done to my life!

[Nagishkaw 510]

Facebook isn't bad or you're not a member either?

I wouldn't touch it with a 10 foot Indian.