Looks like I'm getting a divorce

[JenT 0]

I had to re-read your original post, because, quite frankly, I can't believe you haven't left his a$$ already. Then I caught the line about your parents thinking you're giving up too quickly... do they not know the entire story? I could not IMAGINE my daughter being in a similar situation and encouraging her to stick with it... I'd be helping her pack her bags, yesterday!

[iceyspots 0]

Run like hell!

[Marie1123 0]

I'm the Immigrant.

As far as my parents, I guess they're from that era where people stayed married no matter how miserable they were, they believed in turning the other cheek. Frankly, I think it's a bunch of bull!

This is all so sudden, the marriage, as far as i Know was going pretty OK. Lord knows it wasn't perfect...he was staying out late a lot, money was always short for no appararent reason...now looking back it all makes sense. the worst thing in life is to feel like someone took you for a fool, and that's exactly how I feel.

[rebeccajo 14]

I had to re-read your original post, because, quite frankly, I can't believe you haven't left his a$$ already. Then I caught the line about your parents thinking you're giving up too quickly... do they not know the entire story? I could not IMAGINE my daughter being in a similar situation and encouraging her to stick with it... I'd be helping her pack her bags, yesterday!

I'm guessing the OP comes from a good catholic background and that's why she's getting this kind of 'support' from her family.

Let's see. He was sleeping with some other chick while she was in Belize. Sleeping with the same chick within a few weeks of their marriage. Doping. Dealing. Overdrawing the bank account from the money she has made from a good job (did you all look at the timeline and see where she works?).

This is the score as I see it - VJ Advice 1 - Family Advice 0.

[JenT 0]

I'm the Immigrant.

As far as my parents, I guess they're from that era where people stayed married no matter how miserable they were, they believed in turning the other cheek. Frankly, I think it's a bunch of bull!

This is all so sudden, the marriage, as far as i Know was going pretty OK. Lord knows it wasn't perfect...he was staying out late a lot, money was always short for no appararent reason...now looking back it all makes sense. the worst thing in life is to feel like someone took you for a fool, and that's exactly how I feel.

Hold your head high and stay proud. You are not to blame. You were naive in thinking that he would change... but who among us has never been naive, or had high hopes for change? Consider this a lesson learned and don't make the same mistake again. You have your entire life ahead of you. Don't let a man like this scar you forever. He's not worth it.

[rebeccajo 14]

I wouldn't bail his worthless ### out of jail either. Let him be somebody's bi t ch.

[JenT 0]

...I'm guessing the OP comes from a good catholic background and that's why she's getting this kind of 'support' from her family...

That's what I was thinking but I didn't want to assume... I am also from that sort of background, but as much as my parents were stunned by my news to divorce my ex (I had never complained to them or let on that there was any trouble at all - stunned is putting it mildly), they still put my happiness above all else...

[Marie1123 0]

Oh I'm definately not bailing him out and i've put a block on my phone to stop accepting collect calls. That's a big step to me.

[JenT 0]

I wouldn't bail his worthless ### out of jail either. Let him be somebody's bi t ch.

Amen, Sister Queen!

Oh I'm definately not bailing him out and i've put a block on my phone to stop accepting collect calls. That's a big step to me.

Well done!

[pj1959us 0]

You made your terms and expectations very plain in the beginning. Not only did he disregard them, he messed around and had a couple of children who you have apparently been supporting.

You surely cannot think for one second that you would be making a wrong decision in leaving him in your dust.

I'm so sorry this has happened to you. You put your belief and faith in someone, and had your love thrown back in your face. That is no poor reflection on you, but speaks volumes of him.

Best of luck to you and yours. May your new path be gravel free.

[Heracles 417]

I just don't get it. Do you guys think I'm copping out, I was raised to believe that marriages were to last forever; I'm really beginning to feel like a failure at the mere thought of ending my marriage. I mean how the hell am I supposed to deal with 2 kids outside my marriage, yet he bitches the moment I speak to my daughter's father. Please Advise

I seriously think you should cut the ties from this situation asap. I mean, of NO FAULT OF YOURS, he has no sense of responsibility... I bet if you spoke to any confident woman they would say 'cut and run honey....'

This does not sound healthy for you or your daughter. Don't be afraid to make the right decision. I think you know deep down what your gut is telling you. Over time you will look back and say thank God I got out of this mess when I did... Basically the sooner the better....

[sjoefl01 1]

This marriage is obviously shot. There are way too many problems to fix.

1. If any of those hot checks have your signature you must pay them ASAP. You are not responsible for the ones that he wrote.

2. I would look into the divorce laws in your state. Since you have not been married all that long and you shouldn't need some complicated settlement It may be simple enough to do yourself. It may just be a matter of filing a few forms. After visa / AOS you should be pretty good at filing forms.

3. If you want to stay here in the States you should use this thread to ask how that can be done.

It is a shame that your husband has so many problems, but he is too far gone for help now. The best thing for you to do is cut your losses and move on.

[TracyTN 237]

I'm so sorry to read this but I agree with all that has been said. Dump his lousy a$$ before he makes your life any worse. Find a divorce attorney ASAP.

This may be too far out for you to think about, but do you want to stay in the US or return to Belize?

[ChanelKitten 0]

I totally agree with what everyone else has said here so far, leave and never look back. You are young, sound like a great person and definitely do not deserve to be treated the way that this man has treated you. You gave up everything to be here in the U.S. with him and that is how he treats you?! He obviously does not care for or respect you or your daughter. I was married for the first time when I was 23 and he cheated on me multiple times and so on. I didn't tell anyone about anything because I wanted to be an adult and deal with things on my own, so when I left it was a big shock to everyone. I was ashamed for a while because I come from a strong Catholic background as well, but now I am older, wiser and no without any doubt that I made the right decision. Two years ago I married a wonderful man, who treats me like gold. I learned a big lesson from my first marriage and you will too. Everything happens for a reason and there are better things ahead in life for you. We are all here for you if you ever need to talk. All the best of luck to you and your daughter!!!

Edited August 31, 2006 by ChanelKitten

[Hilarious Clinton 452]

It's OK to move on from a situation like yours.