Mother in Law OR Monster in Law?

[silvana.toma 15]

Exactly. I was (stupidly) hoping that having a new baby would bring us closer somehow - something new and exciting to share - but the exact opposite happened. To say I was stunned, and hurt, is an understatement.

We don't have kids but when we will, and if we will continue to talk to her...omg..i can already imagine what she will say and do. She already told me a while back that i am too cold and i need to change because when i have kids i will have to hug them and kiss them all the time, and she doesn't want her grandkids to have a cold mom

I can barely stand her right now, can't imagine how it will be when we have kids and she will be the know- it- all person telling me what to do and when to do it....hm....yeah...i don't think so..

Good thing you don't have to see her often, and the best part is that your hubby is on your side...

[TracyTN 237]

Yes - if hubby weren't on my side, I don't know what I'd do! I hope she changes when you have kids for your sake.

[silvana.toma 15]

Yes - if hubby weren't on my side, I don't know what I'd do! I hope she changes when you have kids for your sake.

I'm not sure i believe in people changing..i think people can hide their monsters better, but a complete change? probably not...

[TracyTN 237]

I was trying to be optimistic.

[silvana.toma 15]

I was trying to be optimistic.

I know...and thank you for that!

[LA80 3]

Oh, I could write so much about this little topic(nice to meet you btw, you can all call me Xena). The problem I had with my MIL is that we (hubby and I)caught her lying to us within the first few months, and ever since then, I have troubles getting along with her, but I would really want to have a better relationship. The thing is, they have this daughter that causes all kinds of trouble, and the mother often covers up for her and protects her, but everything is only getting messier and messier. Other family members have no idea what is going on, they are all very distant, and I never really got a chance to meet them. They have family gatherings once in a while, but I do not feel comfortable attending them because I have the feeling that that is when the mom and daughter have a show for the high-class family members (everything is great and fantastic and could not be better), and nobody seems to know anything or care about anything. The MIL also serves as some kind of a messenger between her kids (information filter), but I do not understand why do we need her to communicate with other family members??? It also seems that she sometimes "forgets" on purpose when some of the family members invites us over, for a birthday party for example. Everything just really upsets me and I am still trying to figure out if it is me or if it is her. BTW, I have always been respectful to her, and it is going to stay that way. Still we cannot be close. My hubby feels pretty much the same.

Edited April 25, 2011 by LA80

[silvana.toma 15]

Oh, I could write so much about this little topic(nice to meet you btw, you can all call me Xena). The problem I had with my MIL is that we (hubby and I)caught her lying to us within the first few months, and ever since then, I have troubles getting along with her, but I would really want to have a better relationship. The thing is, they have this daughter that causes all kinds of trouble, and the mother often covers up for her and protects her, but everything is only getting messier and messier. Other family members have no idea what is going on, they are all very distant, and I never really got a chance to meet them. They have family gatherings once in a while, but I do not feel comfortable attending them because I have the feeling that that is when the mom and daughter have a show for the high-class family members (everything is great and fantastic and could not be better), and nobody seems to know anything or care about anything. The MIL also serves as some kind of a messenger between her kids (information filter), but I do not understand why do we need her to communicate with other family members??? It also seems that she sometimes "forgets" on purpose when some of the family members invites us over, for a birthday party for example. Everything just really upsets me and I am still trying to figure out if it is me or if it is her. BTW, I have always been respectful to her, and it is going to stay that way. Still we cannot be close. My hubby feels pretty much the same.

At some point i had the same question-is it me? Am i crazy and i don't know it? But then i found out it wasn't me. I thought about it long and hard- 2 out of 3 sons don't want to hear about her, 2 husbands asked for divorce, she barely gets along with her mother, and she pretends she has a lot of friends but that is another of her many lies. SO if she is that great of a person why is everyone running away from her?

My husband had a screaming match over the phone(i know it's sad...right on easter day)yesterday. She called thursday that she wants to come over on friday to give us an easter basket, and my husband told her we already made plans to leave town. Well...she came anyway and left a voice mail on my hubby's phone how dissapointed she is we were not home, and it's the hollidays and bla bla...SO after you know we are not home you xome anyway and then you put on the victim mask??#######?? I'm sorry but we can not put every plan on TBA in case she decides to show up...

I think she and TNT are twins-they both love drama. I actually think she is genetically engineered to love drama, and to always be right

The one thing she has yet to understand is that two can play her game.

I actually think if there would be a contest of who has the most difficult, most manipulative,controling, crazy, psicho, know it all, talk to much MIL, i know by far i would be the winner. I know i know...you are jealous, and wish you could be in my shoes, right? Oh well, we can't all be the winners..

So when you think you have a cucu-AKA crazy MIL, well...think of me, and then life will look much brighter for you.

[LA80 3]

I think those girls are just attention hungry, and when they cannot get it the way they want it and when they want it, they whine, and accuse and manipulate. It is like she is playing with my feelings. In the end, I feel bad because she feels miserable, but I am the one far away from my friends and family whom I have not seen for over 2.5 years and am supposed to start my own family. What does she think how my father feels? Then she dares to complain to me how her family never gets together, and that we all must get together for Easter/July 4th/Thanksgiving/Christmas (I hate imperatives), but what prevents her sons to communicate without Mommy Messenger in the age of the Internet, Skype, iphone, Facebook, and other modern goodies remains a mystery to me. My hubby and I dread the holidays now because they are like a chore, and they are supposed to be fun!

It is funny you mention drama. We even have an "internal" saying - "Save the drama for your mama".

[silvana.toma 15]

I think those girls are just attention hungry, and when they cannot get it the way they want it and when they want it, they whine, and accuse and manipulate. It is like she is playing with my feelings. In the end, I feel bad because she feels miserable, but I am the one far away from my friends and family whom I have not seen for over 2.5 years and am supposed to start my own family. What does she think how my father feels? Then she dares to complain to me how her family never gets together, and that we all must get together for Easter/July 4th/Thanksgiving/Christmas (I hate imperatives), but what prevents her sons to communicate without Mommy Messenger in the age of the Internet, Skype, iphone, Facebook, and other modern goodies remains a mystery to me. My hubby and I dread the holidays now because they are like a chore, and they are supposed to be fun!

It is funny you mention drama. We even have an "internal" saying - "Save the drama for your mama".

that's so funny! I will keep that for the future

But you know...at least she has feelings, that's always a good thing. If she feels miserable afterwards that means she is human, and she feels sorry, so hopefully one day she will do the things in such way she doesn't need to feel sorry anymore.

Have you seen four christmases? With rese witherspoon, where she and her husband they go "volunteer in another country every holiday"just so they don't spend the time with their families? I'm just saying...it's an ideea

My MIL thinks we are in a competition -who has more power over my husband...at least that's what i believe, and i'm preety sure i'm right.She once told me just because i'm sleeping with her son doesn't mean i know him, actually she told me that when we were supose to have a girly time...

She also told me once if my parents would know what kind of girl they raised they would be very sad, as my parents don't know me at all that just made me laugh...because she met me 3 times(in 5 years), few hours every time, and she thinks she knows me better than my parents, who know me for 29 years....

[littlecrazyangel 1]

thing is ...it all depends of the kind of mother in law she is.....if she is just anoying, and doesn't like me...I could live with that, obviously we would not be BFF's, i would just ignore her for the most part and let hubby deal with her; but when you are confrunting yourself with a very extreme manipulative person ..things get complicated.

She knows exectlley how to drive you insane. For instance, we were all in a restaurant (the night before she told me in a "nice way that i come from a 3rd worl country full of pedofiles, and etc etc etc..i don' want to bore you with really nasty details...all this was happening when we were having a"girly time")and she starts criticizing my parents for not speaking english. I am the only child, and i love my parents toooo much, so when she started talking like that,i raised my voice at her(i was pissed from the night before so this was just the last drop in the bucket). She started crying, and started behaving like i was trying to poison her or something. So she looked at hubby hoping hubby will tell me something, but hubby wsa on my side...and that's when her hate towards me grew bigger....as she can never forget how i raised my voice at her.

I bet if i would start telling you few more examples from the palmares of examples you would look at your MIL's and think they are saints!

And how many laguages does your monster-in-law speaks? Sorry that she is giving you such a hard time....

My mother-in-law is much nicer then my mom.