Iraqi/Arabic wedding traditions?

[wendie and sam 4]

Hi everyone,

My fiance currently lives in London but he is Iraqi-Caldean (Catholic) and I'm having a difficult time finding something we can incorporate in the wedding that represents his Iraqi heritage. We are getting married in the Catholic church as his family wishes, however, I want to make sure to incorporate another tradition beyond that. I think it will be nice for his family (and for mine to learn about him and his heritage since we are Mexican-American).

Anyone have any suggestions?? I have researched a lot of the traditions and many parties/engagement traditions take place prior to the wedding, I'm having a hard time figuring out what we can do during the reception?? Food suggestions? Give aways? Decor??? Dances?? Anything??

Please help!! Any suggestions representing the Arabic or Iraqi culture would be welcome! Feel free to message me with any intricate suggestions.

Thanks in advance!

[Mithra 1,185]

Totally legit and not trying to be snarky question - why haven't you asked your fiance about Iraqi/Chaldean wedding customs? I'm sure he and his family would know better than anyone on this forum.

[Batta 6]

Hello Wendi,

There is not much tradition to Iraqi Christians that does not match any american wedding.

Iraqi Christian is referred to in Iraq as the modern folks. I am saying this since I am Iraqi Chaldean and my Husband is Iraqi Assyrian.

Usually the food is more traditional but again living this country for the past 18 years all of the weddings I attended people either use a Arabic catering or just depend on a nice dinner “steak, fish.." Most of the parties are hosted in banquet halls and you just have to use the food that the place offers.

The Chaldean speaks the Aramaic language which is altered between Assyrian and Chaldean. They hold a Henna party either few days or a night before the wedding. It is custom to give the bride lots of gold. There is also tradition of inviting the older ladies to view the bedroom, the sheets, and towels, anything that is new that is going to be used for that home.

During the wedding day, only thing is different is we have sweets served right after wedding " Like Keelache, candy" as a sign of happiness. There is a tradition to wear a ribbon on the side of arm which has few crosses on it.

Remember marrying at a Catholic Church means if you ever get divorce none of you will be able to marry again only if you get an official divorce from the highest church and that can take ages.

During the wedding party, there is a precision for the bride and groom. This means they will be calling out the names of the couple starting with flower girl, ring boy, the bride maids couples, and finally the groom and bride. They will enter on a traditional " Khiga" music with lots of colored scarves that have coins attached to their end. This might take up to 45 minutes.

The groom family might also during the party give the bride some gold and they will be showing it to people by dressing her up.

There are traditional dance and you can view these wedding if you go on Youtube and search Chaldean weddings or Assyrian weddings.

I am not sure where your wedding going to be is, and who is from your fiancé family is going to attend, but just having a nice American wedding should be more than enough.

Now some people might bring a belly dancer to the party, or cut the cake using a sword but again at these days it is all about being simple.

PM me if you need more information, sorry for writing un-organized but I am in rush and just had to put my thoughts.

[wendie and sam 4]

Totally legit and not trying to be snarky question - why haven't you asked your fiance about Iraqi/Chaldean wedding customs? I'm sure he and his family would know better than anyone on this forum.

Since he grew up in the UK he has no idea about traditions... this is actually a better venue for that question since his parents couldn't even help with this question as they can't really recall anything specific.

[wendie and sam 4]

Thank you for the post that definitely gives me some direction to inquire further about what they might want in terms of dances, etc. I was thinking the sweets as well but I wasn't sure if that was part of a tradition or not. That is probably the easiest thing for us to incorporate actually. We are already planning a 'tea hour' after the dinner service is over so that is the perfect time for incorporating a traditional sweet treat.

Since I'm Mexican I wanted to incorporate both of our cultures in small ways without over doing things. Overall we will be having an "American" wedding with small accents that reflect our relationship.

Thanks again!!

Wendie

Hello Wendi,

There is not much tradition to Iraqi Christians that does not match any american wedding.

Iraqi Christian is referred to in Iraq as the modern folks. I am saying this since I am Iraqi Chaldean and my Husband is Iraqi Assyrian.

Usually the food is more traditional but again living this country for the past 18 years all of the weddings I attended people either use a Arabic catering or just depend on a nice dinner “steak, fish.." Most of the parties are hosted in banquet halls and you just have to use the food that the place offers.

The Chaldean speaks the Aramaic language which is altered between Assyrian and Chaldean. They hold a Henna party either few days or a night before the wedding. It is custom to give the bride lots of gold. There is also tradition of inviting the older ladies to view the bedroom, the sheets, and towels, anything that is new that is going to be used for that home.

During the wedding day, only thing is different is we have sweets served right after wedding " Like Keelache, candy" as a sign of happiness. There is a tradition to wear a ribbon on the side of arm which has few crosses on it.

Remember marrying at a Catholic Church means if you ever get divorce none of you will be able to marry again only if you get an official divorce from the highest church and that can take ages.

During the wedding party, there is a precision for the bride and groom. This means they will be calling out the names of the couple starting with flower girl, ring boy, the bride maids couples, and finally the groom and bride. They will enter on a traditional " Khiga" music with lots of colored scarves that have coins attached to their end. This might take up to 45 minutes.

The groom family might also during the party give the bride some gold and they will be showing it to people by dressing her up.

There are traditional dance and you can view these wedding if you go on Youtube and search Chaldean weddings or Assyrian weddings.

I am not sure where your wedding going to be is, and who is from your fiancé family is going to attend, but just having a nice American wedding should be more than enough.

Now some people might bring a belly dancer to the party, or cut the cake using a sword but again at these days it is all about being simple.

PM me if you need more information, sorry for writing un-organized but I am in rush and just had to put my thoughts.

[Crossed_fingers 128]

Thank you for the post that definitely gives me some direction to inquire further about what they might want in terms of dances, etc. I was thinking the sweets as well but I wasn't sure if that was part of a tradition or not. That is probably the easiest thing for us to incorporate actually. We are already planning a 'tea hour' after the dinner service is over so that is the perfect time for incorporating a traditional sweet treat.

Since I'm Mexican I wanted to incorporate both of our cultures in small ways without over doing things. Overall we will be having an "American" wedding with small accents that reflect our relationship.

Thanks again!!

Wendie

I'm sure it will be beautiful and meaningful to you both and to both sides of your family!

[MGoBlue 0]

There is a custom where the bride and groom are showered in money...I mean lots of money. Like I mean it's raining money upon them! Chaldeans know how to drop the loot!!

[wendie and sam 4]

There is a custom where the bride and groom are showered in money...I mean lots of money. Like I mean it's raining money upon them! Chaldeans know how to drop the loot!!

LOL thanks for the heads up, we considered doing a money tree because I'm not really interested in the whole "money dance" that is sometimes done at weddings. Not sure if asking for money at the wedding is tacky now though so maybe we'll just put a card box out and if people want to drop $$$ in there they can.

I'll have to look into this money shower a little more...

[Batta 6]

I don't think it is a custom. This money bash is what we call a " Show off".

Now what is custom paying for the bride before leaving her house.

The Groom family will come to the birde's house. They will bring music and flowers with them, and with a group of ladies and men.

Then they will be taking the bride out of the house, but before she can step out, they will be closing the door and someone a family trusted person will be asking to be paid for allowing the birde to exit. This depends on the family, some will but a 100 or more like 1000 and up.

Once he take the money and show the father of bride, then they will open the door for her to exit and walk to the car.

LOL thanks for the heads up, we considered doing a money tree because I'm not really interested in the whole "money dance" that is sometimes done at weddings. Not sure if asking for money at the wedding is tacky now though so maybe we'll just put a card box out and if people want to drop $$$ in there they can.

I'll have to look into this money shower a little more...

[Flona 0]

great

for all who are interested in Chaldean wedding https://middleeastchristians.com