Am I eligible for any benefits?

[Myopia 93]

Gah, I'm sorry this topic just really irks me. Where is this man's sponsor? I signed an affidavit of support for my husband and work THREE ####### jobs to maintain my income on that affidavit, because we shouldn't HAVE to need benefits, or go to soup kitchens, or go to Catholic Charities. It costs THOUSANDS of dollars to bring an immigrant to the US. Obviously, someone had money for THAT for this man, where is that person now? Charities and soup kitchens are for low income people who have no other option and this man had one- to stay where he was.

To the OP- tell your sponsor to go deliver pizzas, work at Subway, shovel snow, do WHATEVER to support you as they are legally obligated to. Or go home.

Why are you working three jobs? Thats terrible.

[jalie 3]

Name a country where you are eligible for monetary benefits when you have legally migrated under a family sponsor visa. None, unless you are migrating under a special program.

ITALY!

[KittyPollitt 284]

Okay, this thread has degraded into a slagfest. Please stop the abusive and judgemental comments or administrative action will be taken. Thank you.

The issue is not that he's not motivated to find work. The issue is that current regulations do not allow him to work.

There's no regulations keeping his spouse from getting a second job.

[KittyPollitt 284]

Why are you working three jobs? Thats terrible.

I work three jobs because I want to provide my family with everything they need, and I don't believe in living off of credit. I think it would be financially irresponsible of me to use credit, when I can just get another job and make more money to buy the things we need. I'm physically able to, so I do it.

[Krikit 1,163]

There's no regulations keeping his spouse from getting a second job.

See, that's my point. How would you feel if somebody came along and assumed you were only working one job and told you you're a burden to society and you need to get another? What if his wife has been in a serious car accident or has just been diagnosed with Stage 4 cancer and cannot work? We know nothing of other peoples' lives and yet some are very quick to judge based on a few words in a random post. I think that's not only hurtful, but narrow-minded and unjust.

[Myopia 93]

I work three jobs because I want to provide my family with everything they need, and I don't believe in living off of credit. I think it would be financially irresponsible of me to use credit, when I can just get another job and make more money to buy the things we need. I'm physically able to, so I do it.

I hope it gets easier for you. Most arab men are quite anxious to take care of their family and it would be a source of shame for the wife to support the family,

[KittyPollitt 284]

I hope it gets easier for you. Most arab men are quite anxious to take care of their family and it would be a source of shame for the wife to support the family,

At my main job, I make far more than he could make right now, so he stays home with our one year old, so we don't have childcare costs. It would sure be a source of shame if we were living in Morocco, but this is America, and he loves being a stay at home Dad

[Fandango 1,439]

I think this thread is a perfect example of the importance of needing to know what you're getting into when you emigrate or sponsor an immigrant. It is certainly wise to plan ahead for the unforseen expenses that may arise. Sure, you can't plan for everything, but having a 'Holy Sh!t' fund certainly helps.

It's all well and good to be in love and be anxious to start your new life, but 'omG I'm gonna die if the gov't keeps us away from each other a minute longer!!!!' mentality doesn't serve anyone well in the adult world.

Also - much like the 'effects' forum with the 'how do I get my spouse deported since the marriage isn't working out?' 'How do I revoke my i864?' threads, this one also clearly displays a lack of ignorance in the process, which imo is quite dangerous.

So, I guess to anyone reading this just starting out - plan ahead and know what you're committing to!

OP, I'm terribly sorry you're in this situation, I really am...and I hope things turn around for you.

Edited February 12, 2011 by Lisa C

[Myopia 93]

At my main job, I make far more than he could make right now, so he stays home with our one year old, so we don't have childcare costs. It would sure be a source of shame if we were living in Morocco, but this is America, and he loves being a stay at home Dad

I'm sure he does.

[Fandango 1,439]

I'm sure he does.

That's a bit snarky. I was a SAHM for a while until I started getting back into real estate, and I mostly work from home too, but being at home with a baby isn't easy...and I think you're implying something here that you really shouldn't.

[Rebecca Jo 1,962]

That's a bit snarky. I was a SAHM for a while until I started getting back into real estate, and I mostly work from home too, but being at home with a baby isn't easy...and I think you're implying something here that you really shouldn't.

I think this has less to do with being a stay at home parent, and more to do with one partner working three jobs while the other does not contribute.

I've been a stay at home Mom also. I wouldn't have let my then husband work three jobs while I took care of the child. IMO that's just not right in this day and age.

[Fandango 1,439]

I think this has less to do with being a stay at home parent, and more to do with one partner working three jobs while the other does not contribute.

I've been a stay at home Mom also. I wouldn't have let my then husband work three jobs while I took care of the child. IMO that's just not right in this day and age.

It certainly does depend upon the earning power of the stay at home parent vs the child care costs. if he can't make more than the cost of child care, what would the point be? Also, from Myopia's previous post about the 'shame' aspect of a man 'not providing' for his family, my inference was such that it was meant as a snarky comment.

Let alone what this couple's plan is for how they want to raise their child. Many do not want a daycare to do so; many will make sacrifices to ensure that doesn't happen.

It may not be right for you in this day and age, but clearly it's right for them, so I say no need for snarky comments on how this couple chooses to divide the responsibilities in their home.

[Rebecca Jo 1,962]

It certainly does depend upon the earning power of the stay at home parent vs the child care costs. if he can't make more than the cost of child care, what would the point be? Also, from Myopia's previous post about the 'shame' aspect of a man 'not providing' for his family, my inference was such that it was meant as a snarky comment.

Let alone what this couple's plan is for how they want to raise their child. Many do not want a daycare to do so; many will make sacrifices to ensure that doesn't happen.

It may not be right for you in this day and age, but clearly it's right for them, so I say no need for snarky comments on how this couple chooses to divide the responsibilities in their home.

Don't get so wound up, Lisa! I'm from the "old school" remember? When I was in my first marriage and my son was born, there was nothing more I wanted than to stay home and raise him. I wasn't able to do that when he first arrived, but when Zachary was seven I "retired" from the regular work force. And I had a small home based business that I was running which supplemented our household expense and gave me spending money.

My own Mother was a stay at home. When I was in third grade, she started working outside the home at income tax time. She worked it out with her bosses that she would be home by 3 pm for when we came home from school. She did this for many many years and it paid the cost of large appliances in the house and family vacations.

My ex mother in law used to clean the church and sell baked goods for extra money.

Wes tells me his mother knitted Aran sweaters and sold them to a local merchant for sale in his shops. She also did mending and alterations.

This isn't a "new" way of thinking or something just for "modern" couples. There's always been a way for the stay at home parent (traditionally a woman) to contribute to the household. Most women I know found it to be a source of personal pride that they raised the children plus helped out their husband.

[Fandango 1,439]

Don't get so wound up, Lisa! I'm from the "old school" remember? When I was in my first marriage and my son was born, there was nothing more I wanted than to stay home and raise him. I wasn't able to do that when he first arrived, but when Zachary was seven I "retired" from the regular work force. And I had a small home based business that I was running which supplemented our household expense and gave me spending money.

My own Mother was a stay at home. When I was in third grade, she started working outside the home at income tax time. She worked it out with her bosses that she would be home by 3 pm for when we came home from school. She did this for many many years and it paid the cost of large appliances in the house and family vacations.

My ex mother in law used to clean the church and sell baked goods for extra money.

Wes tells me his mother knitted Aran sweaters and sold them to a local merchant for sale in his shops. She also did mending and alterations.

This isn't a "new" way of thinking or something just for "modern" couples. There's always been a way for the stay at home parent (traditionally a woman) to contribute to the household. Most women I know found it to be a source of personal pride that they raised the children plus helped out their husband.

Worked up? lol,

That's all well and good, but at the end of the day, we can all compare stories as to how we do it, however this couple chooses to divide the responsibilities in their home is their business. It's really not a difficult concept.

[Rebecca Jo 1,962]

That's all well and good, but at the end of the day, we can all compare stories as to how we do it, however this couple chooses to divide the responsibilities in their home is their business. It's really not a difficult concept.

And we can all compare stories as to how we plan financially for the arrival of our foreign partner, but ultimately how the couple does that is their own business........................................