Child support for USC children living in HCMC

[The Mother 0]

Hi all,

I was here on this site a year ago, learning about K1 visa. 6 months ago I had an interview, I did change my mind and remain in VN with my two daughters who are USC. Briefly, my story can be found HERE. The father refused to support for the girls, we are not married, plus I live in VN make it really difficult to claim for child support. Anyone knows what and how to do, please help me. I do need you all support.

[Ban Hammer 13,340]

sent a pm to pushbrk, he's the best one i can think of to offer thoughts on this subject.

[Anh map 2,098]

You will likely need to contact a US based family law attorney and sue for support in a US court. This will take time and money.

[Fandango 1,439]

Wow, your story is just heartbreaking, and while I don't have any idea as to how you would go about collecting support, I just want you to know that I will keep you and your family in my prayers.

One thing to think about though....is the support worth you having this guy in your life?

[JimVaPhuong 4,863]

Hi all,

I was here on this site a year ago, learning about K1 visa. 6 months ago I had an interview, I did change my mind and remain in VN with my two daughters who are USC. Briefly, my story can be found HERE. The father refused to support for the girls, we are not married, plus I live in VN make it really difficult to claim for child support. Anyone knows what and how to do, please help me. I do need you all support.

I read your story.

Going to the consulate to see about child support was a waste of time. The consulate is part of the US Department of State - an agency of the US federal government. Family law in the United States is regulated by each state - not the federal government. The way US laws work, any authority not specifically given to the federal government by the Constitution is reserved for the states.

In order to get child support you need an order from a family court judge. This is usually a routine part of a divorce settlement, but you and the father aren't married so there won't be any divorce. In that case, you'd need to file a suit against him for child support in family court. The suit should be filed in the jurisdiction where he lives. You'll also need to prove paternity. Unless you have a copy of the DNA tests from the CRBA process, you'll need copies of the CRBA's. Since you can't go to the US and file this lawsuit yourself, you'd need to hire an attorney in the US to represent you. In all likelihood, you can expect this to cost several thousand US dollars, minimum. Unless he's got a very good stable income then it might not be worth the cost and effort. If you were actually IN the US then there are government agencies that would assist you in obtaining a support order.

Now here's the really tough part - family courts in many states will issue a wage withholding order for child support automatically. This forces his employer to withhold the child support payments from his checks and forward them to a government agency to be distributed to the custodial parent. However, that government agency won't automatically send the money to a custodial parent living abroad unless the state has a reciprocal support enforcement agreement with the country where the custodial parent lives. No states that I'm aware of have such an agreement with Vietnam. To cap it off, there's a federal prohibition against government agencies sending payments to Vietnam. A US citizen can't even get their Social Security checks forwarded to Vietnam without special permission, and even then the checks would be sent to the US consulate for pickup.

In other words, you could spend a lot of time and money obtaining a support order only to find out there's no way you can force him to send you the money.

Your children are US citizens. You should try to get new passports and CRBA's issued for them. The consulate should be able to help you with this. If they ever decide to travel to the US then they'll need an exit visa from the government of Vietnam.

Unfortunately, unless your children go to live in the US before they are 14 years old then they will never be able to sponsor you for a visa. In order to sponsor a relative a US citizen must have lived at least 5 years in the US, at least 2 of those years before they were 14 years old.

[pushbrk 12,883]

I read your story.

Going to the consulate to see about child support was a waste of time. The consulate is part of the US Department of State - an agency of the US federal government. Family law in the United States is regulated by each state - not the federal government. The way US laws work, any authority not specifically given to the federal government by the Constitution is reserved for the states.

In order to get child support you need an order from a family court judge. This is usually a routine part of a divorce settlement, but you and the father aren't married so there won't be any divorce. In that case, you'd need to file a suit against him for child support in family court. The suit should be filed in the jurisdiction where he lives. You'll also need to prove paternity. Unless you have a copy of the DNA tests from the CRBA process, you'll need copies of the CRBA's. Since you can't go to the US and file this lawsuit yourself, you'd need to hire an attorney in the US to represent you. In all likelihood, you can expect this to cost several thousand US dollars, minimum. Unless he's got a very good stable income then it might not be worth the cost and effort. If you were actually IN the US then there are government agencies that would assist you in obtaining a support order.

Now here's the really tough part - family courts in many states will issue a wage withholding order for child support automatically. This forces his employer to withhold the child support payments from his checks and forward them to a government agency to be distributed to the custodial parent. However, that government agency won't automatically send the money to a custodial parent living abroad unless the state has a reciprocal support enforcement agreement with the country where the custodial parent lives. No states that I'm aware of have such an agreement with Vietnam. To cap it off, there's a federal prohibition against government agencies sending payments to Vietnam. A US citizen can't even get their Social Security checks forwarded to Vietnam without special permission, and even then the checks would be sent to the US consulate for pickup.

In other words, you could spend a lot of time and money obtaining a support order only to find out there's no way you can force him to send you the money.

Your children are US citizens. You should try to get new passports and CRBA's issued for them. The consulate should be able to help you with this. If they ever decide to travel to the US then they'll need an exit visa from the government of Vietnam.

Unfortunately, unless your children go to live in the US before they are 14 years old then they will never be able to sponsor you for a visa. In order to sponsor a relative a US citizen must have lived at least 5 years in the US, at least 2 of those years before they were 14 years old.

Just poking my head in at Charles' request but have nothing to add to what Jim has already written. Well done. Tough situation but all I can offer is sympathy.

[The Mother 0]

Thanks so much to all for the information.

@JimVaPhuong: I don't have copy of the DNA test, I do have copies of CRBA and passports (no notarize). The father said he reported to the Consulate that the passports were stolen and he already got a new one for them. I am not so sure I can get another one for them. I can't afford for my children to go and live in USA, to obtain an original passport for them is not necessary then. It is very difficult for us here in VN, that's why I need help to claim for child support. I don't have thousand dollars to hire laywer, if I had that much money I would not need child support, the money would be spent for my girls instead. I had a quick chat with pushbrk, I understand it is impossible to get him pay for the girls. Thank you!

[luckytxn 2,264]

This is a long shot but I do know someone that did get a court order for child support in a country outside the U.S. She then sent it to the attorney general of the state the father of her kids lived in (department of child welfare I think) and that agency placed a garnishment on the fathers wages in the amount of the child support. The father did try to hire a lawyer and fight it but once he admitted they were his kids it was upheld. Now this was a foreign country in Europe and have no idea that it can work in Vietnam.

I am assuming that you can get the kids new passports on your own. If they are U.S. citizens then they can get passports and even new ones and you being their mother should be able to get them one.

[VinhBao MyTam 3]

Honestly, and unfortunately, it is often very difficult to get a father to pay child support here in the US. (Although I'm sure most fathers are man enough to voluntarily pay... I'm only talking about how hard it is to collect from the scum who don't want to pay.)

I'm sure there are probably some hard feelings. Is there any way to talk to him and convince him to support his own children? If not, then good thing you didn't end up living with this man!

If he lives near me, I'd be more than happy to talk to him man-to-man. Is he in North Carolina?

@JimvaPhuong... really a USC has to live in the US before 14 to sponsor a parent to come? I know people who have been naturalized much later who sponsor their parents to come????

Finally, if you didn't come to the US just b/c of this one person, then perhaps you could find someone better and come. :-)

[Teacher Mark 53]

Maybe you could find a sympathetic Vietnamese-American lawyer? Someone may be willing to do it if they get a part of the money you would receive, if you received any at all.

I assume he's in Southern California. If it was me I would post a call for help on this FaceBook page:

http://www.facebook....gid=27198740405

Edited February 11, 2011 by Mekong Mark