I have a question for you gals

[iceyspots 0]

Didn't Rodney King said something to this affect: Can't we all just get along?

I'm an athiest and I'm even willing to get along with you blind faith supporters.

lol...... um? a half insult then saying you are getting along?

[Henia 11]

Didn't Rodney King said something to this affect: Can't we all just get along?

I'm an athiest and I'm even willing to get along with you blind faith supporters.

lol...... um? a half insult then saying you are getting along?

O snaps...another mean day with the MENA girls...

[SirLancelot 1]

Didn't Rodney King said something to this affect: Can't we all just get along?

I'm an athiest and I'm even willing to get along with you blind faith supporters.

lol...... um? a half insult then saying you are getting along?

I love you ALL like family, especially the cute little dancing chicken attempting to do the Macarena.

http://www.angelfire.com/al/aserio/macarena.html

[~Jackie~ 30]

I am happy for the girls that are so strong that they can go thru this immigration nightmare and stay sane. Good for you! But to kick a girl when she is down is 'bullying' and not very attractive in my opinion. Just because you have a tolerance for separation, not everyone shares your strength.

And to say that seeing someone sad and hurting is 'getting old', that is just plain mean and callous. Is it really necessary?

Jackie

[Jenn! 918]

I am happy for the girls that are so strong that they can go thru this immigration nightmare and stay sane. Good for you! But to kick a girl when she is down is 'bullying' and not very attractive in my opinion. Just because you have a tolerance for separation, not everyone shares your strength.

And to say that seeing someone sad and hurting is 'getting old', that is just plain mean and callous. Is it really necessary?

Jackie

I totally agree. I expect that many who seem to have an easier time with the separation would be offended if someone were to imply that it was because their relationship was not as strong or genuine, would they not? Who are we to judge?

Some people are more sensitive than others, myself included, and unfortunately these people can be prime targets for bullying. Being sensitive does not mean that you should seek professional help! Come on!

[amal 4]

I can see both sides of this fence as well...

#1. Being only upset on a daily basis

#2. Not wanting to hear someone be upset on a daily basis

For the people who may be upset every day... GO AHEAD AND BE UPSET...(if you need someone, you can pm me..I'll even give you my yahoo contact info so we can talk if need be) This process is grueling and I very well remember how I felt when waiting for my husband to get here...There were some days that I felt completely hopeless and if it weren't for these forums, I don't know what I would have done. AND YEAH, I did go to the doctor to get some help with depression but it still didn't take away the hurt inside me. I still needed to be able to pour my heart out and my family didn't want to hear anything about it. I wasn't necessarily looking to steal the show or be a whiner (sorry if I EVER came accross that way) I was just looking to find ppl who could assure me that it was ok to feel this way and maybe they felt the same way at one time...

For the ppl who want the "whiners" to clam up... I understand your frustration...When I was going thru our process, I wished I could clam up but I just needed to vent SO SO SO BAD. The only place I felt safe to do so was here. Yeah it can be excessive and yeah it can get a little old seeing someones sadness all the time but the point to this is that they are being excessive for a reason..They just REALLY need to be heard. I do see where you are coming from though...There have been a couple times that I wanted to recommend professional help to some ppl ... and to a few, I have. A couple of them thanked me for advising them in that direction coz they hadn't thought of that route themselves. GLAD TO HAVE HELPED GIRL Sometimes it is hard to have patience for others who are going thru what you're going thru...ESPECIALLY when one person is handling it so easily and the other, in the same situation, is handeling it so roughly..

ok, now I'm just rambling...somebody STOP me!!!

[ya falaha! 0]

This is the ONLY place I can vent my feelings. I try not to do it so much cuz I know it can get taxing on some. Like you, I've been to the dr. to get a little "relief"...I'm not ashamed to admit that and I don't feel weak for admiting I needed help. It's helped substantially but I still get my sad moments and I still hurt...my husband lives a million miles away for cripes sake. Inshallah this will be over for all of us waiting soon. Until then...let's show each other some love and patience.

I can see both sides of this fence as well...

#1. Being only upset on a daily basis

#2. Not wanting to hear someone be upset on a daily basis

For the people who may be upset every day... GO AHEAD AND BE UPSET...(if you need someone, you can pm me..I'll even give you my yahoo contact info so we can talk if need be) This process is grueling and I very well remember how I felt when waiting for my husband to get here...There were some days that I felt completely hopeless and if it weren't for these forums, I don't know what I would have done. AND YEAH, I did go to the doctor to get some help with depression but it still didn't take away the hurt inside me. I still needed to be able to pour my heart out and my family didn't want to hear anything about it. I wasn't necessarily looking to steal the show or be a whiner (sorry if I EVER came accross that way) I was just looking to find ppl who could assure me that it was ok to feel this way and maybe they felt the same way at one time...

For the ppl who want the "whiners" to clam up... I understand your frustration...When I was going thru our process, I wished I could clam up but I just needed to vent SO SO SO BAD. The only place I felt safe to do so was here. Yeah it can be excessive and yeah it can get a little old seeing someones sadness all the time but the point to this is that they are being excessive for a reason..They just REALLY need to be heard. I do see where you are coming from though...There have been a couple times that I wanted to recommend professional help to some ppl ... and to a few, I have. A couple of them thanked me for advising them in that direction coz they hadn't thought of that route themselves. GLAD TO HAVE HELPED GIRL Sometimes it is hard to have patience for others who are going thru what you're going thru...ESPECIALLY when one person is handling it so easily and the other, in the same situation, is handeling it so roughly..

ok, now I'm just rambling...somebody STOP me!!!

[Nagishkaw 510]

It's a purely joyless charade that seems so totally detatched from the vibrant reality of the true nature of this site. A day of picking on certain individuals, convinces me that there is a thick vein of masochism running through the legions of the unhip for whom the sunny side of the street apparently cannot be differentiated from the tomb-like darkness of the woods. Instead of offering support , it just shows me a unique glimpse into a world of total insanity.

[UmmSqueakster 54]

Food for thought. This is the "wisdom of the day" from the Zaytuna website

The Messenger of God (saws) said, “What enables people to enter Paradise more than anything is piety and good character.” At-Tirmidhi

Edited August 31, 2006 by rahma

[noura 0]

Food for thought. This is the "wisdom of the day" from the Zaytuna website

The Messenger of God said, “What enables people to enter Paradise more than anything is piety and good character.” At-Tirmidhi

[Veiled Princess 1]

Food for thought. This is the "wisdom of the day" from the Zaytuna website

The Messenger of God (saws) said, "What enables people to enter Paradise more than anything is piety and good character." At-Tirmidhi

Good advice.

[sarah and hicham 3]

I think some have missed the point. I never said it was easy for me or that I didn't have days that I cried alone. It happens to all of us. We are all going through it or have been through it. We all know what it's like. I am not saying that it all depends on how strong you are or how capable you are of getting through wth no problems. That is impossible. I am saying this- we all have problems, issues, breakdowns. Some happen more than others. I personally don't know what to do when a person posts several times a day about how they can't do it, they broke down, they cried more etc. That's where I think someone needs more help than just typing it on here. I don't think it's necessary to make everyone aware of each breakdown they have, especially when it can be several times a day.

So once again I am not saying that we don't have the right to vent and that this process isn't hard on everyone- we have all had our bad days. I'm just saying maybe these problems need more attention than just on VJ. I hope that makes more sense!

[ya falaha! 0]

I get what you're saying, Sarah, and I agree. It's really not necessary to let everyone know each and everytime we fall apart. Venting is fine but a minute by minute update..not really necessary. There is nothing wrong with getting help for depression and anxiety. I think there are some on board here that should look into it. I found my help. His name? Mr. Prozac

[sarah and hicham 3]

I get what you're saying, Sarah, and I agree. It's really not necessary to let everyone know each and everytime we fall apart. Venting is fine but a minute by minute update..not really necessary. There is nothing wrong with getting help for depression and anxiety. I think there are some on board here that should look into it. I found my help. His name? Mr. Prozac

hahaha.

I agree there is nothing wrong with seeking help if it gets to a certain point on a daily basis. I feel bad when everyone tries to comfort someone but it just doesn't seem to help the situation. I think you're right- a lot of people here are depressed and this process is totally capable of doing that to any of us.

[Jenn! 918]

I agree there is nothing wrong with seeking help if it gets to a certain point on a daily basis. I feel bad when everyone tries to comfort someone but it just doesn't seem to help the situation. I think you're right- a lot of people here are depressed and this process is totally capable of doing that to any of us.

I think though that there is a difference bewteen being depressed because of a situation and just always being depressed. I would say for sure that I was depressed during the separation, but I would not have wanted to turn to meds, knowing that my depression was a result of the situation at hand. Now if one's SO arrives and the depression continues, that's a different story.