I have a question for you gals

[noura 0]

Now, I would like to make a very ADULT and level-headed request. Stop this, please. What you don't realize is how much I care for the people here and how some of the SH*T that is said here can hurt. Yep, I'm sensitive. That's who I am. I'm finished apologizing for it. I would again also like to request that this end. Thank you.

I agree.... can this end now please.... it's just RIDICOROUS! That's my word and I'm using it freely... feel free to use it if you like.... yes, RIDICOROUS, I said... plain Ridicorous!!!

[Nagishkaw 510]

What more could you possibly say that you havent already said? Nothing, and thats the way it should be. . JW, you are one helluva classy LADY.

[jordanianprincess 0]

A few observations/reminders (that I can use myself)...

While we are all going through the same process with fiances/spouses from the same region, we are still a very diverse group. We don't normally choose friends or seek support from people based on such a limited criteria - in this case a visa and a MENA spouse.

Some people are much more sensitive than others, others have thicker skins. Some of us are blessed to have strong support systems in our families/friends, others have none. Some have busy social lives, and some have little more at this time than waiting for their spouse. For some, this may be the only major headache you are dealing with in life, and others are struggling with many other issues in their personal lives. All this affects how we react to things and our strength in this process.

Some people have felt genuine bonds on this board, for others it is a transition. For those who really use this board as a support system, perceived slights can be VERY painful - especially if that is a person who you like/respect through this forum.

I remember a time when Henia posted something and got a reaction she didn't expect. In the heat of it, she named names of people whose posts she enjoyed. This also was not well received. If I recall JP, you were one of the people who responded. Likewise, when you posted yesterday and named names of the people whose posts you take seriously, I think some feelings may have been hurt. My point is not at all to call you out on that post, but to shed some light on why Jean may have felt as she did. If we say things like "I like/respect/take seriously only these people's posts", there will be people that feeled snubbed or hurt. We may not realize that other people actually care what we think of them or their opinions (and we may think they shouldn't care), but there are people who do care. Let's face it, there is some bonding that goes on here (which is one reason I think I have not left even though we have GC in hand).

Not sure of my point.... I hate to see someone in our forum hurting whether or not the reaction seems justified from our perspective.

I am not going to walk on eggshells around people. If you can dish it out, then you have to be willing to take it.

Likewise...

I have also been waiting for a very long time through this process along with everyone else. I still have 6 months to go before even having an intervew, but I don't complain at all. There is a theme here of constant drama and sympathy. The second someone threatens to stop posting bcz they don't like someone else's post, eveyone pours pity in the threads about it. Well we are all adults and that doesn't need to happen. .

I was not going to respond to you further, but since you insist on keeping this going I have just one thing say. You do not know me. You do not know my life, what I am facing and what I have been through. You also do not know the anxiety of being this close to the end of line without knowing a damn thing about what your future will be or what this has cost us as a couple. I will not apologize to you for not handling myself in a manner YOU consider adult or appropriate. However, I am who I am and I have as much right to post on this forum as anyone else. I will reiterate in my own defense (which galls me to do) that I have no other support system. I have a scant few people I can discuss this with. All of them are from this forum. Only 2 really know anything at all close to my truth. I did not say I'm leaving the forum. I said I prefer to not state my RELIGIOUS opinions again.

Now, I would like to make a very ADULT and level-headed request. Stop this, please. What you don't realize is how much I care for the people here and how some of the SH*T that is said here can hurt. Yep, I'm sensitive. That's who I am. I'm finished apologizing for it. I would again also like to request that this end. Thank you.

Since we are going through a very similar process, I'd be willing to say I do know what you are going through. There are very few people here that know my story because I don't advertise it. You are not the only one in immigration hell. And by no means are you the only one whose had it take a toll on your relationship. You are not the only person here that uses this forum as a form or the only form of support. The same way you always tell people that they can ignore your posts if they want, you can do the same thing. I am not staying queit to the BS anymore.

If I had the time, I would go back through all of your posts and show you how many times you find something offensive that is not even directed at you and most of the time not even offensive and then you throw a tantrum and say your out of here. By the way you can also take the advice you so kindly gave me a while back which is to use the ignore feature. Then again, it seems you love the drama. You picked this fight with me and now your asking me to stop? I made a post that was directed at no one, it was my personal opinion. You took it as a personal attack and decided to draw more attention to yourself. If you can't handle the heat then get out of the kitchen!

Edited August 30, 2006 by jordanianprincess

[Mrs. Forgetful 2]

Well It's taken me about 3 hours to read this whole thread! I got a little confused and a little worried at some points, but I think everything will be ok. I just had one question.

Sorta going back to the begining of the whole thread, someone mentioned that the Prophet(saw) had left children after he passed. Now I thought I read in one of my books that he didn't leave any children behind. I could have misread, so if I did, sorry. But I also was under the impression that there was no bloodline from the Prophet(saw) also. Also that Aisha was the only one alive to finalize the recordings of the Prophet(saw). If someone could possibly clarify this for me or direct me somewhere, that would be wonderful!

Also I just wanted to tell ya'll, that no matter your religions, we are all humans and I have come to respect each and everyone of you. You are all filled with this wonderful sense of humor and have some of the most wonderful opinions. I am really greatful that I get the chance to read all these posts everyday. It gives me something to look forward to and I can always find something new to take home with me and learn from. Thanks to all of you for being yourselves!

[AngelK96 0]

A few observations/reminders (that I can use myself)...

While we are all going through the same process with fiances/spouses from the same region, we are still a very diverse group. We don't normally choose friends or seek support from people based on such a limited criteria - in this case a visa and a MENA spouse.

Some people are much more sensitive than others, others have thicker skins. Some of us are blessed to have strong support systems in our families/friends, others have none. Some have busy social lives, and some have little more at this time than waiting for their spouse. For some, this may be the only major headache you are dealing with in life, and others are struggling with many other issues in their personal lives. All this affects how we react to things and our strength in this process.

Some people have felt genuine bonds on this board, for others it is a transition. For those who really use this board as a support system, perceived slights can be VERY painful - especially if that is a person who you like/respect through this forum.

I remember a time when Henia posted something and got a reaction she didn't expect. In the heat of it, she named names of people whose posts she enjoyed. This also was not well received. If I recall JP, you were one of the people who responded. Likewise, when you posted yesterday and named names of the people whose posts you take seriously, I think some feelings may have been hurt. My point is not at all to call you out on that post, but to shed some light on why Jean may have felt as she did. If we say things like "I like/respect/take seriously only these people's posts", there will be people that feeled snubbed or hurt. We may not realize that other people actually care what we think of them or their opinions (and we may think they shouldn't care), but there are people who do care. Let's face it, there is some bonding that goes on here (which is one reason I think I have not left even though we have GC in hand).

Not sure of my point.... I hate to see someone in our forum hurting whether or not the reaction seems justified from our perspective.

I did once respond to one of Heina's posts, it was the Happy Friday post she did quite some time ago. I have voiced my opinion several times over threads that I thought were inappropriate, however I don't take the stance of "if its not my way , I'm not going to play anymore."

I didn't say that I didn't take others posts seriously, I said take those posts by SZSZ and Lostinlove the most serious. I have been snubbed by many people many times, but thats a part of being on a public forum. I don't like to see people hurting either and I know some people do use this forum as a form of support which is fine, but that doesn't mean the entire forum is thiers to get sympathy from. I am not going to walk on eggshells around people. If you can dish it out, then you have to be willing to take it.I have also been waiting for a very long time through this process along with everyone else. I still have 6 months to go before even having an intervew, but I don't complain at all. There is a theme here of constant drama and sympathy. The second someone threatens to stop posting bcz they don't like someone else's post, eveyone pours pity in the threads about it. Well we are all adults and that doesn't need to happen. I obviously don't like 60% of our threads being about Islam, but thats my opinion. I have long accepted the fact that people can post what they like, and at the same time, we can choose to ignore the threads we don't care for.

That's Amman for you JP I can relate to that! Hang in there your time is coming.

Angel

[Nagishkaw 510]

A few observations/reminders (that I can use myself)...

While we are all going through the same process with fiances/spouses from the same region, we are still a very diverse group. We don't normally choose friends or seek support from people based on such a limited criteria - in this case a visa and a MENA spouse.

Some people are much more sensitive than others, others have thicker skins. Some of us are blessed to have strong support systems in our families/friends, others have none. Some have busy social lives, and some have little more at this time than waiting for their spouse. For some, this may be the only major headache you are dealing with in life, and others are struggling with many other issues in their personal lives. All this affects how we react to things and our strength in this process.

Some people have felt genuine bonds on this board, for others it is a transition. For those who really use this board as a support system, perceived slights can be VERY painful - especially if that is a person who you like/respect through this forum.

I remember a time when Henia posted something and got a reaction she didn't expect. In the heat of it, she named names of people whose posts she enjoyed. This also was not well received. If I recall JP, you were one of the people who responded. Likewise, when you posted yesterday and named names of the people whose posts you take seriously, I think some feelings may have been hurt. My point is not at all to call you out on that post, but to shed some light on why Jean may have felt as she did. If we say things like "I like/respect/take seriously only these people's posts", there will be people that feeled snubbed or hurt. We may not realize that other people actually care what we think of them or their opinions (and we may think they shouldn't care), but there are people who do care. Let's face it, there is some bonding that goes on here (which is one reason I think I have not left even though we have GC in hand).

Not sure of my point.... I hate to see someone in our forum hurting whether or not the reaction seems justified from our perspective.

I am not going to walk on eggshells around people. If you can dish it out, then you have to be willing to take it.

Likewise...

I have also been waiting for a very long time through this process along with everyone else. I still have 6 months to go before even having an intervew, but I don't complain at all. There is a theme here of constant drama and sympathy. The second someone threatens to stop posting bcz they don't like someone else's post, eveyone pours pity in the threads about it. Well we are all adults and that doesn't need to happen. .

I was not going to respond to you further, but since you insist on keeping this going I have just one thing say. You do not know me. You do not know my life, what I am facing and what I have been through. You also do not know the anxiety of being this close to the end of line without knowing a damn thing about what your future will be or what this has cost us as a couple. I will not apologize to you for not handling myself in a manner YOU consider adult or appropriate. However, I am who I am and I have as much right to post on this forum as anyone else. I will reiterate in my own defense (which galls me to do) that I have no other support system. I have a scant few people I can discuss this with. All of them are from this forum. Only 2 really know anything at all close to my truth. I did not say I'm leaving the forum. I said I prefer to not state my RELIGIOUS opinions again.

Now, I would like to make a very ADULT and level-headed request. Stop this, please. What you don't realize is how much I care for the people here and how some of the SH*T that is said here can hurt. Yep, I'm sensitive. That's who I am. I'm finished apologizing for it. I would again also like to request that this end. Thank you.

It is my belief that you're so mentally healthy that neurotic busy bodies might think you are weird.It is also my belief that there are a lot of jerks out there disguised as important people who won't respect you if you show strong feelings. dont let those specimens of humanity force you into working your you -know-what off emotionally.

( remember its ok to sell your soul, just make sure you get a reciept ).

[sarah and hicham 3]

Here's what I think! yay!

I think this process is hard on everyone. I think we all have the right at some point to have a "breakdown" and get upset but then we always pick ourselves back up. When someone is having these breakdowns just about everyday, it makes it difficult for everyone to have to read about it and respond to it all the time. I know that I personally see it and just don't know what to say anymore. It's even irritating to me. I can't handle seeing someone feel so sorry for themselves and making it known on this board day after day. Yes we are here for support, but I also think that the saddness can be excessive. It's hard to talk when people take things as personal attacks no matter where it is directed.

Crying everyday, at home, at work, online etc is not good. If it gets to that point for anyone I sincerely hope that one would maybe even seek professional help to get things moving in the right direction. I think most people here would agree that if someone is so depressed and if this is their only support then they should seek some help.

I would like to remind everyone of those who have waited years for their visas. Icey has been waiting since Feb for her NOA2 and it is no where in sight. JP's interview isn't until next Feb which is more than one year after having filed. I am sorry I forget names but I know someone has been stuck at the NVC for more than a year without even going to the consulate. I know there are plenty more out there. I know these women don't complain. JP and Icey never complain they never say how depressed they are and they never say how much they cried about their situation. Yes Hicham and I are extremely lucky but I see women around me on here everyday who are forced to be strong about their misfortune because if they are not, what do they have? I truly admire those who wait and wait and wait yet who carry on with their everyday lives without making everyone around them remember how sad their lives are on a regular basis. As I said before, this IS a support group, but it gets to the point where one cannot offer the support someone might need through the internet.

For those of you who handle yourselves so well with what you have well I think that's great and we all appreciate your strength. We are not all the same and some are weaker than others but there is only so much support we can offer someone.

Have a good night,

Sarah

[Veiled Princess 1]

oh no not the K word again!

The k word is in the Quran and, when properly used, it conveys a proper meaning, not as I have seen some throw it around out of context and without understanding what it means.

You and I don't agree on everything but that's no reason we can't be civil... as such, let me warn you to be careful with this word as someone has reported to the moderators that it is 'foul language' in Arabic.

When answering any question in Islam, you have to answer it from a trusted source. There is no "in your opinion" because you can lead people astray there. Becarful which site you learn from because not all are legit.

Excellent point

Always always always -I can not stress this engough- ALWAYS ask for proof and not opinions!

You're kidding right? You're talking about God and you're asking for proof? I'm atheist for a reason, because theres NO solid proof at all there's God. Everything said here is opinion--albeit perhaps opinions from learned professors and scholarly researchers, but nevertheless opinions.

Yes, the ability to be critical of everything one reads, hears or learns is quite important, but when the discussion centers on religion, everything is thrown out. All rationale ceases to exist and we enter the realm of blind faith.

I guess that's in the eye of the beholder. I for one see much solid proof that God exists by merely waking up each morning, hearing the birds chriping, opening my eyes, watching the darkness fade as the sun rises... etc etc etc....

When I say ask for the proof, I mean about the religion. In other words, ask what does Allah say in the Quran about it? And what did the prophet Muhammad (sal allahu alayhi wa salaam) say about it? That is the proof that it's the truth and not just what someone thinks or feels about it.

There are 2 women here, SZSZ and Lostinlove, whose posts I take the most seriously. Not only because they were born Muslim, but it is also a part of the history. Learning the Quran in English is not the same as learning it in Arabic, which is the only form it should be in.

The funny part about it, is when ever a question is asked about Islam, all the converts or reverts, jump to answer right away without looking at all view points and alot of the time those answers seem snippy and condecending. I have never felt that by looking at posts from SZSZ or Lostinlove. Actually if you look at the original post, you will notice the first handful of answers are all different. I was actually impressed and relieved when Lostinlove posted that she would research it and come back to answer.

This exemplifies why I don't usually say much in religious discussion. Because I am a "revert" I will always be the "retarded child", my views will never "count". I have been ridiculed and insulted in the past by a few members here. I try to be intelligent with my views and I try hard to be opened minded, but I'm weary of this.

If one chooses to revert to Islam, does this make their faith and their belief any LESS? I can assure I feel as strongly about my own relationship with Allah through Islam as any other muslim does. I cannot at this time study Islam in Arabic because I can't read Arabic. I plan to learn it so I can. I do not want to be patronized. I turn away from those who do it.

I will keep my thoughts to myself from here on out regarding anything to do with Islam since obviously my faith is considered inferior by those who post here because I was not "born" Muslim.

I do want to remind one thing, however. When one accepts Islam who is not biologically born into it, they are still considered clean and new. One's relationship with Allah is that. A relationship. Highly personal. In a relationship there is always growth and discovery. It can't be forced. It has to progress on its own. I'm not necessarily addressing this poster personally, but its the attitude of several others that makes me regret posting anything on this subject.

I just find it disappointing.

I don't think it makes any of us 'less' muslim because we reverted. If you want to be real with it, we were ALL born muslim some of us just got sidetracked and had to find our way back. We weren't constantly reminded to pray growing up and most of us are not from an area where religion is regarded as much so I think it says a lot that you and every other revert here took it upon ourselves to learn about this perfect religion by the will and permission of Allah and not because it was crammed down our throats all our lives.

I assume you and most reverts here have the same experiences as I have with family members being (to put it mildly) less that understanding or supportive of our decision, making it all that more personal for us.

I'm sorry if I have ever been one to make you feel like this (especially since I'm a revert too!) but it's recently been brought to my attention that I don't word things properly when posting and come off as harsh or patronizing.

isn't "convert" the term to use when someone who was never muslim become muslim?

revert implies they were muslim before becoming another religion, and then turned back to islam.

As has been explained before on this board, those of us who use the term 'revert' do so because we believe all people are born muslim but are taught other religions by those around us growing up.

I thank my Elvis crucifix that I'm not smelling the colour blue or tasting my favourite music or reinventing my wheel of fortune.....I think I will guard my privacy from any misguided snooping.Yup, too hot.

I don't have a clue what you just said I just wanted to say I LOVE your avatar!

[iceyspots 0]

Is there a smiley that rolls its eyes?

[sarah and hicham 3]

Is there a smiley that rolls its eyes?

You would know! hahaha.

[iceyspots 0]

Is there a smiley that rolls its eyes?

You would know! hahaha.

yea let me go fish through them!

[Veiled Princess 1]

Well It's taken me about 3 hours to read this whole thread! I got a little confused and a little worried at some points, but I think everything will be ok. I just had one question.

Sorta going back to the begining of the whole thread, someone mentioned that the Prophet(saw) had left children after he passed. Now I thought I read in one of my books that he didn't leave any children behind. I could have misread, so if I did, sorry. But I also was under the impression that there was no bloodline from the Prophet(saw) also. Also that Aisha was the only one alive to finalize the recordings of the Prophet(saw). If someone could possibly clarify this for me or direct me somewhere, that would be wonderful!

I am answering from a website so for those who don't like it stop reading... hurry hurry hurry

<H1>Children of Prophet Muhammad

Prophet Muhammad had five children from his first wife Khadijah. One son,

Al qasim

died when he was still a baby, and four daughters:

Zaynab

,

Ruqayah

,

Fatimah

, and

Om Kolthoom

. The last child, a boy

Abrahim

was born 628 A.D. He was the only child born to the Prophet after Prophet Muhammad

knew that he was to be a Messenger of God. His mother was Maria, an Egyptian whom the king of Egypt sent to Prophet Muhammad

as a handmaid servant and Prophet Muhammad married her in 627.

Zaynab

married her cousin Al'### Ibn Al-Rabeah. Zaynab had only one child who died as a baby. Zaynab died in 630 A.D.

Ruqayah

was the wife of Othman Ibn affan. She had one boy who died possibly from an infection after a rooster pecked his eye. She died in 624 A.D. She died on the same day of the battle of Badr.

Om Kolthoom

was also married to Othman after Ruqayah's death . She had no children. She died in 631 A.D.

Fatimah

married Ali Ibn Aby Talib who was the cousin of the Prophet

and who later became the fourth Calipha. He died in 662 A.D. They had two sons, Al-Hassan and Al-Hussein and one daughter Om Kolthoom. Fatimah died in 632 A.D.

Al-Hassan was seven years old, and Al-Huseein was six when Prophet Muhammad

died in 632 A.D. The Prophet loved them very much. There were even some prophecies about them. Al-Hassan became Calipha in 662 A.D. He resigned after five months and passed his leadership to Mouawiah Ibn Aby Sofian. Prophet Muhammad Prophesied that a man named Muhammad Ibn Abdullah (

Al-Mahdi

), a descendant of Al Hassan, would one day work with the Prophet Jesus

to kill the Anti-Christ and establish an Islamic state. Al-Hussein died in 682 A.D.

Most of Al-Hussein's children were killed in the wars. Only two children survived after Al-Hussein's death. The daughter of Fatimah, Om Kolthoom married Omar Ibn Al Khataab, the second Calipha. She had a boy named Zayd. Zayd fought along with his uncle Al-Hussein, in the battle of Karbellah. The descendants of Al-Hussein and Zayd still exist today. Fatimah died a few months after the death of Prophet Muhammad

. The Prophet prophesied that Fatimah would be the first of his family to die after him, and it would be soon.

http://www.islamicweb.com/history/children.htm

</H1>

I hope that helps you.

Is there a smiley that rolls its eyes?

You mean like that?

[doodlebug 3]

Wow...I won't even START my process until the beginning of this January and I'm already sad thinking that most of you might be gone 'cause you'll all be done with your visa process and there won't be anymore fun catfights here!

FYI....I'm thinkin' of converting so Rhama and whoever else...is that Sunni Path place worth the $$$ for the courses or do you think I can wing it on my own?

[AngelK96 0]

Wow...I won't even START my process until the beginning of this January and I'm already sad thinking that most of you might be gone 'cause you'll all be done with your visa process and there won't be anymore fun catfights here!

Don't worry people come and go, but when you get a group of women together with diverse opinions there will always be catfights..

[doodlebug 3]

Don't worry people come and go, but when you get a group of women together with diverse opinions there will always be catfights..

phew!!!