What makes your marriage successful?

[momof1 205]

What has made your marriage successful? There is a lot of criticism about these MENA marriages and now it's time to hear some positives. Offer some advice to the newbies. It can be what you and your spouse do that makes the relationship work. It can be about choosing the right person. It can be about compromises you make. It can be about when to put your foot down and stand up for yourself. Anything! I can't wait to hear your stories.

[amysaid 9]

The same thing that makes any marriage work... only to a greater degree. Patience, taking a deep breath and/or thinking before you speak, caring for one another. Trying to have an understanding of the stress and issues they are having, moving to a new environment and being away from their families/friends. Encouragement. Helping them find things they enjoy doing here in the US.

[ridasgirl 1]

The same thing that makes any marriage work... only to a greater degree. Patience, taking a deep breath and/or thinking before you speak, caring for one another. Trying to have an understanding of the stress and issues they are having, moving to a new environment and being away from their families/friends. Encouragement. Helping them find things they enjoy doing here in the US.

You said that absolutely perfectly...PATIENCE & UNDERSTANDING....in amounts that can only be a result of copious amounts of prayer coming from a heart that truly longs to love their spouse for all of their life.

[LaL 418]

Because he is my husband and partner in every respect - and not an import.

[sandinista! 1,816]

I <3 my immigrant!! I'm getting bumper stickers made that say how much i do, it will bring us even closer together, inchallah.

Because he is my husband and partner in every respect - and not an import.

You mean it's NOT like buying a Saab or Audi?!?

Edited January 30, 2011 by sandinista!

[LaL 418]

I <3 my immigrant!! I'm getting bumper stickers made that say how much i do, it will bring us even closer together, inchallah.

will it be sparkly? kittens and babies in the background? do tell!

[Sofiyya 1,687]

I <3 my immigrant!! I'm getting bumper stickers made that say how much i do, it will bring us even closer together, inchallah.

Like this one?

[LaL 418]

You may want to consider a sold sign on that to complete the jpg.

Edited January 30, 2011 by LaL

[sandinista! 1,816]

Hehehe! Sofiyya's is a good starting point, but it needs a little more razzle dazzle on the order LaL mentioned. I have an awesome kitten/baby/unicorn prototype- I'll see if it can be uploaded when I'm back to my regular computer instead of my pod. The kitten and baby are riding on the unicorn whose mane is made of glitter.

Edited January 30, 2011 by sandinista!

[Staashi 371]

I think the green star on the flag needs to be flashing.

[Sofiyya 1,687]

youse guys

[~PalmTreeGurl~ 154]

What makes our marriage work is so many things blended in together for each other. Love- and by that I mean how we show each other love the way each of us need it. He needs love as in hugs and kisses and being told how much I love him, I need love in time spent with me and helping do things. When we show each other love according to how we need it we feel that love greater. Respect and by that, how we treat each other around others and to each other when no one is around. Prayer - through prayer and by praying for each other. Laughing together, finding time to just have fun and laugh together and bond. When we do those things daily it makes us grow so much closer.

[sandinista! 1,816]

People I know are all like, ohhh you got yourself an immigrant I see. I gotta get me one of those. Cause I'm always talking about what's so great about "my" immigrant, knowwhatimean?

[msheesha 548]

One of the things that makes it work is that I've never referred to him as "my immigrant", nor have I ever thought of him in that way...

[Crossed_fingers 128]

People I know are all like, ohhh you got yourself an immigrant I see. I gotta get me one of those. Cause I'm always talking about what's so great about "my" immigrant, knowwhatimean?

Hey hey hey there now, how can you say your immigrant is better than my immigrant??? We got the same Moroccan model! Mine is the updated version, yours is probably all buggy!

To the OP, I'm not in a position to give marriage advice to anyone. My fiance and I aren't married yet, he's still sitting pretty overseas, and it will be a first marriage for both of us. The "our immigrants" thing is kind of unfortunate but since you haven't gotten many replies yet, I'll just throw out there that at the end of the day I evaluate this relationship the same as any other relationship I've had. I think what has made our relationship so great at least so far is all the typical stuff you'd hope for no matter how or where you met. Chemistry, respect, trust, common interests, humor, shared goals about the future, compatible fighting styles, quirks we have that the other each thinks we can live with, personality traits that balance each other out, etc. I'm sure it helps that we have no language barrier and come from similarly sized urban areas, with similar education levels, similar family money situations and grew up in the same "class," and have bizarrely similar family dynamics and relationships with our parents and siblings, and even many of our family members have the same jobs here or there. A little eerie. I'm not trying to minimize cultural differences, which I expect may come up more after we live together and get older and have kids. Generally speaking, I think my fiance is pretty savvy, fluent, culturally open, adaptable and flexible, and has as good a shot of adjusting well as anyone who has ever switched countries, but I know the adjustment phase is no joke and people moving from, say, the US to Canada or England can experience serious depression. Hope for the best, prepare for the worst?

Anyway, I can't speak to that stuff yet, I can just say that so far our relationship works because it would have worked anywhere. Had he not had his sense of humor I wouldn't have started talking to him. Had he not had his intelligence I wouldn't have continued the friendship. Had he not had his values or had our chemistry be less in sync I wouldn't have entered into a relationship. He and his family had to pass a million other qualification for me to want to marry him, and I'm sure if you asked him he would say the same thing about me and my family.