How hard is it in the state.

[MensahLuv 4]

GhLove brought up some other important aspects of America. Yes, America is very competitive. Thats where the educations and working hard comes in. There are so many opportunities if you apply yourself. Yes there is racism in America. Racism in America is nothing like it was many moons ago but it does exist. Depending on what city/region you live in the level of racism can very. Racism does exist in Ghana as well. It not so much a black and white thing. It more so Ghanians vs Nigerians, Christians vs Muslims, Poor vs Rich and so on. Yes there is crime in America. I dont think there is a country that crime does not exist. I have seen crime, prostituiton, police brivalry in Accra,Ghana.

I do LOVE that the people of Ghana can just be HAPPY, Have fun no matter what their status is. Africans do tend to be more family oriented. I said all this to let you know Both Ghana and USA has it Good/Bad and Pros/Cons in their socities. You just have to weigh your options and decide what is best for you and your family and dont forget where you come from. It is entirely up to you the coices that you make. LonelyC there will be many cultural differences and adjustments moving to a new country. Ghana is alot more carefree with everything. For example, Driving in Ghana is not organized at all. People do not follow any rules of the road. Pedestrains dont have any rights walking the roads in Ghana. You better move or they will run you over. In America there are so many rules and laws you may abide by or you will face consequences. In Ghana you can bribe the police. In Ghana you can walk the streets drinking alcohol. You cannot openly do that in Amercia. Just about anything goes in Ghana in comparison to America. Which will be alot of adjustments from living the carefree life.

Ghlove stop scaring the LonelyC by telling her that many Americans are very selfish, rude, and MEAN. LOL! There are many loving, caring, giving people in America and I happen to be one of them. Hey, I LOVE going to Ghana but I also LOVE America! Each is unique and special in its on way

[JustUs 3]

I actually have been telling my fiance the same thing. And as Ghanaluv said its just to let him know the reality of what to expect. There are alot of issues in the U.S. other than finance, such as discrimination and alot less communial/caring society. It's not as family oriented either. Some Africans immigrate here and totally loose sense of family, values, and etc. People loose their kids to drugs, street life, etc.

To be honest I LOVE GHANA!!! and I was born in the U.S. everytime I go to Ghana I leave in TEARS (even before I met my fiance). Just for the fact that there are so many people are very loving and genuine in Ghana. and no one looks down on you because you are "black". The U.S. is very competitive and many Americans are very selfish, rude, and MEAN. America is a country more geared towards productivity and profit. Bottom line. Most people don't have time to be concerned for others. The stress levels and mental health issues tends to be higher in the U.S. than most third world countries, because many of us are so focues on working that we loose sight of what's really important. For example:

"There’s no argument that Monterrey, Mexico has serious problems like malnutrition, lack of education, high levels of corruption, poor civic development and questionable governance. And yet despite these seemingly immense hurdles, studies reported the highest level of happiness in the Americas during the year of our most exhaustive research (2008). Explanations include the happiness boost they receive from the high number of hours of sunlight; the personal sense of freedom of choice they experience; they nurture laughter; they intuitively understand the importance of social interaction; and they put their family first and appreciate the good around them."

For these reasons, I miss Ghana everyday! I feel so free there... In 10 years I'm planning to finish my military career and relocate to Ghana for good... We have a goal and that's what keeps me going. With all that being said, there are alot of opprotunities here. I believe most Ghanaians who come here do very well. They save their money and return back to GH to invest their intelligence, talents, and resources back into their homeland. Some adapt and stay. I think it all depends on what you value most. But for the moment, try to focus on the fact that you are building your life with your fiance. And you can get through everything if you support each other. It is not always easy... but what in life is?

I just can't walk away from this one because I totally disagree with the image stated hear of US Citizens as a whole in comparison to Ghanaians. I love Ghana, but, for me there is no place like my United States of America! What I have learned is that the way cultures show love and support for each other may vary culture to culture. Yes the US is challenging because of our current financial situation - been there done that before and will see it again - but, we survive and thrive through each hurdle. Yes - you have got to work for what you have - can't think of a better way to do it. Do we have issues with discrimination, racism, confusion amongst people - absolutely. What do you think you will get when there are so many different types of people living under one moon in close proximity. But do you realize how exciting it is to be living in a land with such diversity? You see people in the US that you would never see unless you left the US. Most want to create a life where people are appreciated and valued for their differences - we are a work in progress. Are we competitive - no more than the person in Ghana who has a local business. We just have more people with more money to compete with - watch and see what happens in Ghana as the economy gets stronger. After my first visit to Ghana I came back and immediately paid a late tax bill I had sitting around - I am thankful for the paved roads, the systems that work like they say they will without me having to pay extra money to get the service I am suppose to get, I like having my electricity available every day and my water flowing. I enjoy the convenience of good grocery store - O Thank Heaven for 7/11!. Let me say that, just like we visited your homeland, you come here with an open my ready for new experiences and forget whatever you have seen on tv - just be patient and get to know people within the structure of the culture. Just like people have been helpful on vj you will find people helpful to you in the US and you will find some not so helpful - the same exists in Ghana. Not every Ghanaian is loving on Americans. Just know what you don't know yet - the culture - how and why we do what we do. There is so much to see and experience in the US. Take advantage, in a good way, of all that the US has to offer - when in doubt ask - somebody will answer. I do love my Ghana and I would definitely consider living there with my husband - but, I know I will have some of my own attitudes to adjust before I do that so that I remain open to the cultural experience there. Being a visitor to Ghana is not the same as living in Ghana.

Best of luck in life and love. Welcome to the US!

[JustUs 3]

GhLove brought up some other important aspects of America. Yes, America is very competitive. Thats where the educations and working hard comes in. There are so many opportunities if you apply yourself. Yes there is racism in America. Racism in America is nothing like it was many moons ago but it does exist. Depending on what city/region you live in the level of racism can very. Racism does exist in Ghana as well. It not so much a black and white thing. It more so Ghanians vs Nigerians, Christians vs Muslims, Poor vs Rich and so on. Yes there is crime in America. I dont think there is a country that crime does not exist. I have seen crime, prostituiton, police brivalry in Accra,Ghana.

I do LOVE that the people of Ghana can just be HAPPY, Have fun no matter what their status is. Africans do tend to be more family oriented. I said all this to let you know Both Ghana and USA has it Good/Bad and Pros/Cons in their socities. You just have to weigh your options and decide what is best for you and your family and dont forget where you come from. It is entirely up to you the coices that you make. LonelyC there will be many cultural differences and adjustments moving to a new country. Ghana is alot more carefree with everything. For example, Driving in Ghana is not organized at all. People do not follow any rules of the road. Pedestrains dont have any rights walking the roads in Ghana. You better move or they will run you over. In America there are so many rules and laws you may abide by or you will face consequences. In Ghana you can bribe the police. In Ghana you can walk the streets drinking alcohol. You cannot openly do that in Amercia. Just about anything goes in Ghana in comparison to America. Which will be alot of adjustments from living the carefree life.

Ghlove stop scaring the LonelyC by telling her that many Americans are very selfish, rude, and MEAN. LOL! There are many loving, caring, giving people in America and I happen to be one of them. Hey, I LOVE going to Ghana but I also LOVE America! Each is unique and special in its on way

[MensahLuv 4]

I just can't walk away from this one because I totally disagree with the image stated hear of US Citizens as a whole in comparison to Ghanaians. I love Ghana, but, for me there is no place like my United States of America! What I have learned is that the way cultures show love and support for each other may vary culture to culture. Yes the US is challenging because of our current financial situation - been there done that before and will see it again - but, we survive and thrive through each hurdle. Yes - you have got to work for what you have - can't think of a better way to do it. Do we have issues with discrimination, racism, confusion amongst people - absolutely. What do you think you will get when there are so many different types of people living under one moon in close proximity. But do you realize how exciting it is to be living in a land with such diversity? You see people in the US that you would never see unless you left the US. Most want to create a life where people are appreciated and valued for their differences - we are a work in progress. Are we competitive - no more than the person in Ghana who has a local business. We just have more people with more money to compete with - watch and see what happens in Ghana as the economy gets stronger. After my first visit to Ghana I came back and immediately paid a late tax bill I had sitting around - I am thankful for the paved roads, the systems that work like they say they will without me having to pay extra money to get the service I am suppose to get, I like having my electricity available every day and my water flowing. I enjoy the convenience of good grocery store - O Thank Heaven for 7/11!. Let me say that, just like we visited your homeland, you come here with an open my ready for new experiences and forget whatever you have seen on tv - just be patient and get to know people within the structure of the culture. Just like people have been helpful on vj you will find people helpful to you in the US and you will find some not so helpful - the same exists in Ghana. Not every Ghanaian is loving on Americans. Just know what you don't know yet - the culture - how and why we do what we do. There is so much to see and experience in the US. Take advantage, in a good way, of all that the US has to offer - when in doubt ask - somebody will answer. I do love my Ghana and I would definitely consider living there with my husband - but, I know I will have some of my own attitudes to adjust before I do that so that I remain open to the cultural experience there. Being a visitor to Ghana is not the same as living in Ghana.

Best of luck in life and love. Welcome to the US!

[agynyame 2]

I guess he does not want you think that all is well in this country. As others have elaborated, you must be willing to work to achieve the lifestyle you want. Truth be told, Ghanaians have a perception that once they get here all solutions to their problems will be resolved. First of all, that attitude will sink your marriage when you get here. Sometimes people work one two or even three jobs just to survive.

Secondly, you will be inundated with bills and unlike Ghana you cannot approach it with the attitude of "mi ntua" (i will not pay). While you may have the choice of not paying everyone here has a social security number and your inability to pay your bills will prevent you from getting further credit. Yes, we live by credit in this country, however be careful that you do not fall into the habit of keeping up with the Jones'. He probably wants to impart to you that you must be willing to live within your means.

Thirdly because it is stressful in this country, you must do all that you can to help each other out. So if one person is coming in with the idea that it is gold lined streets and money growing on trees then again, you are setting yourself up for failure. In short make time to discuss these things with your husband and ask him why he keeps saying this. Talk to him about your anxieties and also hear his anxieties as well. then you will know his intentions and he yours. I am telling you this because my wife and I have been having the same conversations.

Also please when you get here stay out of the Ghanaian community and be with your husband. Find some good friends that will be supportive of you. Many marriages have gone awry because folks in the community have a habit of sticking their noses in other people's business. Yes, even steer clear from friends particularly the unmarried ones; they may just snatch your husband by brewing trouble between the two of you. Good luck on your interview.

[MensahLuv 4]

I guess he does not want you think that all is well in this country. As others have elaborated, you must be willing to work to achieve the lifestyle you want. Truth be told, Ghanaians have a perception that once they get here all solutions to their problems will be resolved. First of all, that attitude will sink your marriage when you get here. Sometimes people work one two or even three jobs just to survive.

Secondly, you will be inundated with bills and unlike Ghana you cannot approach it with the attitude of "mi ntua" (i will not pay). While you may have the choice of not paying everyone here has a social security number and your inability to pay your bills will prevent you from getting further credit. Yes, we live by credit in this country, however be careful that you do not fall into the habit of keeping up with the Jones'. He probably wants to impart to you that you must be willing to live within your means.

Thirdly because it is stressful in this country, you must do all that you can to help each other out. So if one person is coming in with the idea that it is gold lined streets and money growing on trees then again, you are setting yourself up for failure. In short make time to discuss these things with your husband and ask him why he keeps saying this. Talk to him about your anxieties and also hear his anxieties as well. then you will know his intentions and he yours. I am telling you this because my wife and I have been having the same conversations.

Also please when you get here stay out of the Ghanaian community and be with your husband. Find some good friends that will be supportive of you. Many marriages have gone awry because folks in the community have a habit of sticking their noses in other people's business. Yes, even steer clear from friends particularly the unmarried ones; they may just snatch your husband by brewing trouble between the two of you. Good luck on your interview.

I am glad you brought up the social security number.. Yes we all here in America have a identifying number attach to us. The SS # follow our every move. 1 of the first things you have to do is apply for a SS #. SS# is used just about for everything. You need a SS# to work, enroll in school, rent apartment, buy a house, buy a car,drivers license, to get a loan, cell phone, home phone,home utilities. Your social security is link to your credit history you build in the US, which is based on how well you pay your bills. Social Security is link to your driving record and criminal history if you have one. Your whole life profile in the US is track under the SS# which tell everything about you.

Good suggestions

[luckytxn 2,264]

America is going through a hard time now but it has before and it will again. There are ups and downs everywhere. It is all how you make of it though. I am making a little more than half of what I used to but some of it is my fault as I don't work as much as I used to and want to come home more often to spend with my babe.

I also used to tell my now wife how hard it could be here so she wouldn't expect it as a easy time here with little effort. She knew it beforehand but I just wanted to make sure she knew. She has since finished school and we have stared a business for her and she has thrived. I thought it would take a couple of years to get where she is at now and in less half the time because she works so hard at it. She makes it look effortless though and seems like she is having fun. We did both talk for a long time and made it a goal of ours to try to have fun in life at all times. Of course we work but somehow we always enjoy ourselves.

I will say that her first few months was tough though and my heart broke at her seeming to struggle with so much coming her way. I could only help her so much but she somehow survived it all and it was all her doing.

There will be obstacles when you get here but just realize that they are only there for a set time and get over and around them. Eventually it will all be easier for you. You will start finding your niche and being more comfortable and after it is all said and done the memories will be there to remind you of what can be accomplished. The best thing about over here is that you can succeed here if you want and put the effort in. The main thing is that you have found someone you love and even though there may be sacrifices on both sides that love can only become stronger. Looking at it that way then who cares if there are few minor annoyances that are there as they can be overcome.

[Lonelycouplez 4]

my wonderful friends, i say a very big thank you for your kind words and advices. Ghlove,agyenyame,ghanaluv,justus, lucky and the rest of you,you guys have so far impacted a whole on me. I think i should put it this way 'only hard work pays in the states. This short phrase says it all. Im very glad im the hardworking type.i will surely make it up there. Once again,thank to all.

[James and Cynthia 70]

It really depends on what you do for a living, if you're good at it, and how hard you work. I make very good money and have very good job security. However, I have seen many people laid off and struggling. It is sad to see close friends and relatives having a hard time. I think we have a long way to go before things get better.

-James

[JustUs 3]

my wonderful friends, i say a very big thank you for your kind words and advices. Ghlove,agyenyame,ghanaluv,justus, lucky and the rest of you,you guys have so far impacted a whole on me. I think i should put it this way 'only hard work pays in the states. This short phrase says it all. Im very glad im the hardworking type.i will surely make it up there. Once again,thank to all.

You got it! Work hard, work smart, keep a good clean heart, be patient, and use your common sense.

[agynyame 2]

You got it! Work hard, work smart, keep a good clean heart, be patient, and use your common sense.

:thumbs:

[GhLove 4]

I think I may have been misunderstood here just a little bit. I'm not saying that I don't love my country... I absolutely do!!! So much that I'm serving in the military and willing to give my life for it. However, I'm a firm believer of knowing both sides of a story. I never imagined I would love Ghana as much as I do. I've traveled all over the world to several countries and was ALWAYS glad to come back home to the good ol USA. However, after spending 5 months in Ghana, I really started to understand our countries difference. As a social worker, examining the societal problems of both the US and Ghana, I came to terms that for ME Ghana was a place where I found a remarkable peace that I have never felt here. The resilience and joy of the people is amazing!

It is very true that we have diversity in the U.S., which I enjoy very much! I love the fact that we can all learn different things and perspectives from each other. With that being said, I believe because of this each person experience is very different. I'm a dark skin girl from Texas who grew up in poverty. So I think that shapes my perspective alot. And now that I'm in a career that serves with what we call "vulnerable populations" I see that its not always as easy as "work hard, be smart, and have a good heart" to obtain the American dream. I have seen a lot of good people become statistics and what I like to call victims of society. Just a few things to consider when examining the world's RICHEST country:

On any given night, anywhere from 700,000 to 2 million people are homeless, according to the National Law Center on Homelessness & Poverty (44 percent did paid work during the past month)

Over 70% of all African American children are born out of Wedlock

It is estimated that 40% of all marriages have ended in divorce as of 2008

So I think when the question of "how hard is it" is asked... we need to tell the WHOLE truth.

As far as what I said about the average american being mean and rude... thats purely from my perspective of what I have seen when other Americans travel abroad. Before I left for my international internship i was told by my advisor (who specializes in international social work) "Don't be an ugly American". And sadely this generalization tends to be true on many occassions here and abroad. I'm often told "Wow you are so nice, you don't seem like a regular AMerican". At first I defended us and said what does that mean, but after seeing 60 students (graduate and undergraduate) on a trip to Ghana leave HORRIBLE immpressions, after hearing the horror storries from Ghanaians, Asian Americans, Hispanics, etc., I now know what people mean by those sterotypical phrases. I think it stems from us being so blessed, yet so overworked, and the lack of real social interaction. Also, we have been taught that America is the best country in the world. We are constantly told that we are the best in EVERYTHING. And we tend to carry that attitude around with us, often in small ways without even noticing.

Living in Ghana was really uncomfortable for me at first. I challenged everything with, "well in America its done like this". Simply by comparing was an unconscious statement of being better. It was only when I choose to actually take time to UNDERSTAND the differences that I begain to really see the true beauty of Ghana. As I said before, each person is different and values different things. I place value on sprituality, morals, family and community. And after a while I just realized that I value these things more than "paved roads". Some things are just priceless.

I'm totally NOT trying to scare you, but I know that I am the type of person who likes to know the WHOLE story, both sides, so I know what I'm up against. Just to prepare myself I guess so I know how to proceed accordingly. However, as I said before Each place as its positives and negatives and with God EVERY challenge can be overcome. I believe that you will find your way here in the U.S. just fine. There are over 100,000s of Ghanaians who have done it. I will keep you in my prayers and know that you won't be alone when you come. There are people here who are very loving and caring. I'm sure you will find them and live very happily with your soon to be husband. And In the end, that's all that really matters.

[MensahLuv 4]

I think I may have been misunderstood here just a little bit. I'm not saying that I don't love my country... I absolutely do!!! So much that I'm serving in the military and willing to give my life for it. However, I'm a firm believer of knowing both sides of a story. I never imagined I would love Ghana as much as I do. I've traveled all over the world to several countries and was ALWAYS glad to come back home to the good ol USA. However, after spending 5 months in Ghana, I really started to understand our countries difference. As a social worker, examining the societal problems of both the US and Ghana, I came to terms that for ME Ghana was a place where I found a remarkable peace that I have never felt here. The resilience and joy of the people is amazing!

It is very true that we have diversity in the U.S., which I enjoy very much! I love the fact that we can all learn different things and perspectives from each other. With that being said, I believe because of this each person experience is very different. I'm a dark skin girl from Texas who grew up in poverty. So I think that shapes my perspective alot. And now that I'm in a career that serves with what we call "vulnerable populations" I see that its not always as easy as "work hard, be smart, and have a good heart" to obtain the American dream. I have seen a lot of good people become statistics and what I like to call victims of society. Just a few things to consider when examining the world's RICHEST country:

On any given night, anywhere from 700,000 to 2 million people are homeless, according to the National Law Center on Homelessness & Poverty (44 percent did paid work during the past month)

Over 70% of all African American children are born out of Wedlock

It is estimated that 40% of all marriages have ended in divorce as of 2008

So I think when the question of "how hard is it" is asked... we need to tell the WHOLE truth.

As far as what I said about the average american being mean and rude... thats purely from my perspective of what I have seen when other Americans travel abroad. Before I left for my international internship i was told by my advisor (who specializes in international social work) "Don't be an ugly American". And sadely this generalization tends to be true on many occassions here and abroad. I'm often told "Wow you are so nice, you don't seem like a regular AMerican". At first I defended us and said what does that mean, but after seeing 60 students (graduate and undergraduate) on a trip to Ghana leave HORRIBLE immpressions, after hearing the horror storries from Ghanaians, Asian Americans, Hispanics, etc., I now know what people mean by those sterotypical phrases. I think it stems from us being so blessed, yet so overworked, and the lack of real social interaction. Also, we have been taught that America is the best country in the world. We are constantly told that we are the best in EVERYTHING. And we tend to carry that attitude around with us, often in small ways without even noticing.

Living in Ghana was really uncomfortable for me at first. I challenged everything with, "well in America its done like this". Simply by comparing was an unconscious statement of being better. It was only when I choose to actually take time to UNDERSTAND the differences that I begain to really see the true beauty of Ghana. As I said before, each person is different and values different things. I place value on sprituality, morals, family and community. And after a while I just realized that I value these things more than "paved roads". Some things are just priceless.

I'm totally NOT trying to scare you, but I know that I am the type of person who likes to know the WHOLE story, both sides, so I know what I'm up against. Just to prepare myself I guess so I know how to proceed accordingly. However, as I said before Each place as its positives and negatives and with God EVERY challenge can be overcome. I believe that you will find your way here in the U.S. just fine. There are over 100,000s of Ghanaians who have done it. I will keep you in my prayers and know that you won't be alone when you come. There are people here who are very loving and caring. I'm sure you will find them and live very happily with your soon to be husband. And In the end, that's all that really matters.

Again you made some good points. Yes, It is a fact everyone views and opinions will stem from their on life experiences and backgrounds. Thanks for sharing your views based on what you have observed from your friends and students in Ghana. Can you elaborate on the views of a mean American? Its interesting that you say this because alot of Americans see Africans from the same light. Do you know how many times I have heard that Africans are crazy! Africans are stuck up! Africans are evil! Africans are Rude! Africans are conartist! I rarely hear anything good. Recently a coworker told me that she would never date an african man and she was not the first. Many wonder why I am such an african lover. lol. I told her they are not all the same. I think it is a big misunderstanding of the cultures because of each life experiences and background. Many are not willing to learn and get to know each others history.More importantly the individaul. We all just use the media to make judgements of each other without learning the truth. We all know the media only show the negative and rarely show the good and postive. Thats how our views of each other came about. Many africans have told me that they thought black americans were only gangsters and criminals. Because of the news and movies being showed. Their are many influential blacks in America.

Edited January 30, 2011 by Ghanaluv

[MensahLuv 4]

my wonderful friends, i say a very big thank you for your kind words and advices. Ghlove,agyenyame,ghanaluv,justus, lucky and the rest of you,you guys have so far impacted a whole on me. I think i should put it this way 'only hard work pays in the states. This short phrase says it all. Im very glad im the hardworking type.i will surely make it up there. Once again,thank to all.

You are very welcome. I believe you have received alot of good responses that will help you understand alot of aspects of living in the states far as financially and socially. Keep an openmind. Wishing you the best.

[worriedman 0]

USA is not like what you see in the movies,, that is total illusion, everything is different here. You can just take a leave from work when your visa is ready, come and see and decide whether you wana stay or not, u can always go bk..hehehe