Are crazies still crazy in heaven ?

[one...two...tree 2,762]

Yes but god only worked 6 days and then stopped - and that was about 6 thousand years ago. So not much is happening since then. After being sat there staring at him for a couple of years in total adoration, don't you think it would become boring ?

I have had the experience of totally loving someone but not being able to have sex with them - and I found it quite frustrating

I can see it would be fun for day one - but you can't go off to work with him like one of the seven dwarfs, as its all been created, so just how long can you look at someone in adoration without getting a stiff neck or an aversion to gray beards ?

If you approached the the Bible as a primarily a piece of literature rather than a factual account or literal revelation of God, a whole world would open up before you.

[Captain Oates 911]

If you approached the the Bible as a primarily a piece of literature rather than a factual account or literal revelation of God, a whole world would open up before you.

What, you mean like wutherin' heights is a piece of literature ?

Yes I could do that but I have never coveted an ox or interfered with one in any way so it wouldn't stop me doing stuff like that

I loved reading the bible out loud at school - especially the bit about the old men who sit by the temple wall and eat their own sh.. and drink their own pi..

I used to read it loud and with feeling and much to the squirming of the schoolmarm - but it obviously has relevance today if only christians could read it and understand it, they might be more accommodating to people of other religions and especially atheists. In fact once they got to thinking about things, it might just be like piece of shakespeare and all the harps and cloudhopping would fade

As a piece of bronze age literature it's fine - it's just what the Carolinians do with it that causes the problem

It's an irony that we have all seen god's picture, and if a guy looking like that came up to any of these ladies in a disco they would say 'get lost granddad' - and yet they get home and fall to their knees and pray to spend the whole of eternity sitting on the right hand of a guy who looks just like that !

[mawilson 2,133]

If you approached the the Bible as a primarily a piece of literature rather than a factual account or literal revelation of God

...you would burn in Hell for heresy.

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

There is no heaven.

[one...two...tree 2,762]

There is no heaven.

...for losers.

[Jenn! 918]

Do people believe that we actually have our physical selves in heaven? IQ is irrelevant when you don't have a brain, as is mental illness. Age is irrelevant when you have no body. This is a serious question - I don't think that most people actually think that people walk around in the clouds.

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

...for losers.

Your "god" punishes "losers"?.

[one...two...tree 2,762]

Your "god" punishes "losers"?.

I take it you don't listen to much modern music. What's your musical forte, polka?

[Usui Takumi 1,562]

Do people believe that we actually have our physical selves in heaven? IQ is irrelevant when you don't have a brain, as is mental illness. Age is irrelevant when you have no body. This is a serious question - I don't think that most people actually think that people walk around in the clouds.

Yes, in fact the Catholic church used to cut the heads off people who had committed suicide. The idea being they could not reunite with their bodies in the end times as a result.

[Captain Oates 911]

Do people believe that we actually have our physical selves in heaven? IQ is irrelevant when you don't have a brain, as is mental illness. Age is irrelevant when you have no body. This is a serious question - I don't think that most people actually think that people walk around in the clouds.

You ever been to Georgia ?

But even if we arrive with no body, no IQ, nothing but a ....soul ?

What does the soul do all day and night ?

I have heard that the soul is like a cloud of methane gas with no solid form and which collects in a pool around god's ankles and although it doesn't have eyes or an IQ, it simply looks at him as one would without eyes, and adores him like a spaniel adores - except that this goes on for eternity without the cloud of gas getting sick of it

If we haven't got eyes, how can we see big g ? What if it's a woman who looks like Rosanne Barr ? - is there an escape chute down like the airline steward took ? Can a transfer be requested at that stage or is rapture unavoidable once one prays for it ?

[one...two...tree 2,762]

What does the soul do all day and night ?

How do you know that time exists beyond the physical world?

[Captain Oates 911]

Yes, in fact the Catholic church used to cut the heads off people who had committed suicide. The idea being they could not reunite with their bodies in the end times as a result.

What if they had committed suicide because of what the priest had done to them ?

I think they should chop the priest's willy off so he can never be reunited with it

[Jenn! 918]

You ever been to Georgia ?

But even if we arrive with no body, no IQ, nothing but a ....soul ?

What does the soul do all day and night ?

I have heard that the soul is like a cloud of methane gas with no solid form and which collects in a pool around god's ankles and although it doesn't have eyes or an IQ, it simply looks at him as one would without eyes, and adores him like a spaniel adores - except that this goes on for eternity without the cloud of gas getting sick of it

If we haven't got eyes, how can we see big g ? What if it's a woman who looks like Rosanne Barr ? - is there an escape chute down like the airline steward took ? Can a transfer be requested at that stage or is rapture unavoidable once one prays for it ?

I think it's pointless to try to imagine what heaven would be like. We have such a limited frame of reference. It's like trying to put a square peg into a round hole. Like what do you mean what does the soul do all day and night? What makes you think that time would pass in heaven the way it does "in this life"? Why do you think one would need eyes to see?

[Captain Oates 911]

How do you know that time exists beyond the physical world?

Because eternity sounds longer than an American football match including adverts and the intro and the post match commentary

...and if eternity hasn't any time, then hell has no time, so the roasting won't hurt because I will be hot for - no time

which reminds me -I must micro wave my shoulder gel pack

[Captain Oates 911]

I think it's pointless to try to imagine what heaven would be like. We have such a limited frame of reference. It's like trying to put a square peg into a round hole. Like what do you mean what does the soul do all day and night? What makes you think that time would pass in heaven the way it does "in this life"? Why do you think one would need eyes to see?

Now we have the core of religious belief in one phrase

'Why do you think one would need eyes to see' ??????

Anyone who can actually think that is logical is set for a lifetime of tithing

Unless these souls operate on echo location like bats - trying to avoid big g's beard as they whiz around 'seeing' by emitting high pitched squeaks

This heaven place sounds less attractive the more I hear

It seems that the crazier and more illogical the concept, the more people sign on for it...

Like we are all 22 and perfect in mind and body - or we are like a cloud of gas with no eyes but we can still see - and people nod and say 'ahh I understand now - thank you - can I give you some money ?'

and we are in heaven for no time but we have to spend 90 years praying like a mantis on acid in order to be something with no eyes which is there for no time and simply adores without a mouth or without any feedback as to whether we are adoring hard enough